“I called you last night.”
Karen broke from her afternoon nap at the sound of Juanita’s voice. She leaned forward in her seat, almost lost her balance-steadied herself. Her mouth tasted of ashes. Juanita stood across from her at the door.
“Are you okay?”
Sister Cawood pushed sleep from her eyes smiling weakly. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
“You look like shit.” Juanita closed the door behind her and leaned there.
“Oh.” It took her a moment to get her bearings. “I was working with Jane. I haven’t been feeling well. And I took a little catnap.” She smirked trying to insert a little humor. “Don’t tell her I’m awake. She’ll have me signing papers again.” She feigned a sore wrist rubbing it. Juanita’s dark eyes remained sad. Cawood sat up gesturing at the chair across from her. “Come in, what is it?” Juanita crossed the carpet, her shoulders slumped and her expression unreadable.
She was wearing a white blouse, light blue jacket and skirt. Her hair, normally buoyant and full hung loose at her shoulders. Then Karen saw the dark rings under her eyes.
“You look tired.” Cawood leaned forward as Juanita dropped into the chair.
“Of course I’m tired! I didn’t sleep a wink.” The Mormon’s white teeth flashed angrily.
“What’s wrong?”
“I went by your place last night.” Juanita crossed her legs and arms angrily. “And called until two.”
“Oh, I was out late.” She saw the Mormon’s eyes glare. “At the office. Here.”
“Stop lying.” Juanita’s accent grew with her anger. “You were not here either. I live in the Tower too, remember?”
“I-did you come by here?” Cawood looked around the room, rose weakly to her feet. “You must have missed me.”
“And did security miss you too?” Juanita’s voice grew louder. “Just stop lying to me, Karen.” Her anger softened momentarily. “Are you in trouble?”
“No.” Sister Cawood moved shakily around her desk to lean in front of the Mormon. “No. I’m not in trouble. Are you okay?”
“ Am I okay? I wait up all night worried about you, and that’s all you have to say!”
“Well.” Cawood cautiously moved forward, her peripheral vision on the door. “I want to know.”
“Yes, I’m okay.” Juanita looked up at her, by her posture Cawood knew she wanted to be held. “Whatever that means to you. I guess you’re in love.”
“In love?” Cawood’s head spun- vertigo! She wrestled with nausea. “I thought we talked about…”
“Not with me.” Juanita stood up now and moved close. “With someone else.”
“What?” The nun lowered her voice, and hoped Juanita would do the same. “In love?” she whispered, shaking her head.
“Whoever you spent last night with.” Juanita’s eyes flashed. “And who you’re lying for now!”
Cawood struggled to maintain her composure as memories of the night before convulsed in her. The floor felt flimsy beneath her-she steadied herself against the desk.
“I’m not in love.” She recognized Juanita’s crestfallen look. “With anyone else.” Then under her breath she said, “But I shouldn’t, we shouldn’t have to report to each other.”
“But if we are friends first, then what could it hurt.” Juanita’s look was penetrating. “You’re blushing. I knew it!”
Cawood stepped in closer. Part of her was becoming insanely, obscenely aroused by Juanita’s perfume. It was the hangover-all those toxins cleansing out…and Juanita smelling, being so fresh and close. She whispered into the Mormon’s ear. “We stopped being friends first when we started being lovers.”
Immediately, Juanita’s voice softened. “Then what is it that you cannot tell a lover? We always speak from the heart. That is…” She looked to the door and whispered, “Why I love you.”
Cawood shrugged. She knew it would look like reluctance to Juanita, but it was guilt crushing her down. “I’ll tell you then. But only because of what we have.” She clasped Juanita’s soft hand and dropped it. “I was with Able.”
Juanita scowled. “With?” Then the idea became ridiculous to her. But the implausibility of a physical liaison with the minister did not diminish her jealousy. “What then, what were you up all night with Able for?”
“He-you have to swear you won’t speak of this.” Cawood felt more guilt twist her guts as Juanita nodded innocently and crossed her heart. “Able saw another Angel.”
“Another Angel?” Juanita’s lips almost broke into a smile. “Oh no.”
Cawood knew that everyone in the Tower knew of Able’s first vision of an Angel and resulting redemption. The revelation had inspired the building of Archangel after all. But everyone Cawood knew had taken the vision as a psychological occurrence-a vision inspired by the minister’s potent but guilty mind. No one thought it was an actual visitation.
“Why would he see an Angel?” The Mormon was puzzled. “What has he done this time?”
“Oh, this one. I don’t know. He claims the Angel came to him with a new mission.” Cawood felt unsteady and needed the support of her desk again.
“What mission?” Juanita stepped forward yearning for closeness. “A mission from- God?”
“That’s what I took it to be.” Now that they were so close Cawood yearned for the comfort of the Mormon’s embrace. For a second she wanted to confess the truth. I’m a whore! But their connection was a sin already-the new filth was tantalizing.
“What mission?” Juanita was struggling with some inner joke.
“He said. Well…” She reached out to caress the Mormon’s shoulder. “It was something about redeeming an Angel.”
“Redeeming an Angel.” Juanita frowned now, though humor still twinkled in her eyes. “A fallen Angel?”
Cawood shrugged and nodded, hesitant to take further part in this betrayal of confidence.
“Not Satan?” Juanita closed her lips and then let go with a great ring of laughter. She bent over, resting her hands on Cawood’s shoulders. “Satan?” She laughed again, this time Cawood couldn’t resist. Such a weight of guilt was upon her that the absurdity of Able’s concerns grew ludicrous.
“Redeem the Devil himself…” Juanita’s smile was wide. “Oh, that Able he does fancy himself a handy servant of God All Mighty.”
Chuckling, the nun pressed a hand over Juanita’s lips. “Hush…don’t say Satan!” They both giggled.
“Well who else would it be, Karen? The good Lord wouldn’t waste Able Stoneworthy’s time with anything less.”
Again the pair of them curled over with laughter. Tears of shame burning in her eyes, Cawood broke into giggles. “Tomorrow morning!”
They both started laughing uncontrollably again.
“Around eleven…”
They were overwhelmed and collapsed into each other’s arms. They continued like this for some time, Cawood immersing herself in the release.
A quiet knocking on the office door interrupted them. The nun straightened up. “Yes. Come in please.”
Jane’s broad-cheeked face came in the opening door. She smiled apologetically then stepped into the room smoothing her tasteful skirt and jacket. “Excuse the interruption, Sister.”
Cawood wiped at her eyes nodding. “That’s fine Jane, how can I help you?”
“Excuse me, Sister Powell. I didn’t hear you enter.” She looked politely back to Sister Cawood. “I didn’t like the look of Sister Cawood this morning, and with her having to nap earlier on…and with the sounds in here, I thought she might have taken a turn for the worse.” She smiled hesitantly.
“Thanks Jane.” Cawood walked away from Juanita and back to her chair. “I feel much better from my nap. Sister Powell and I were reliving our times at the mission at the Mexican Crater.”
“Oh.” Jane smiled at Juanita. “It is nice to have friendship when the spirits are low,” she said now directly to Juanita, “Our Sister Cawood has not been herself lately.”
The Mormon smiled at Cawood and then joined Jane at the door. “Don’t you worry.” She slid a reassuring hand over the secretary’s shoulder. “We’ll both keep a close eye on her.” She looked back at Karen. “She’s doing important work! All that divinity is wearing on a mortal.” Juanita winked and smiled. Cawood’s guilt was now firmly back in place and held there by Jane’s Catholic concern.
“I’ll drop into your office later.” The nun smiled in a knowing way and nodded.
“You will.” Juanita nodded slowly and then smiled at the secretary before leaving.
Cawood looked at Jane and tried to cover her shame with words. “I want to thank you for looking out for me also. I’ve been involved in a project of some importance.”
“With Reverend Stoneworthy!” Passion leapt into Jane’s eyes.
“Yes.”
“I knew it.” Jane took two steps in. It was now that Cawood noticed her secretary held an envelope in her hands. “I can always tell.” Jane looked to the ceiling, color coming into her cheeks. “Reverend Stoneworthy is such a passionate fellow.” She hugged her hands to her bosom as she entertained a secret notion. “He is such an inspiring man; don’t you think he would have made a great Catholic?”
“He is a great friend to us,” Cawood said and nodded.
“I like to watch him. When I can. His face. I imagine, it’s the way, well forgive me, but it’s a saintly face.” Jane’s eyes moistened with sorrow or lust. “And I like to watch what goes on behind it. He’s such a godly man. Seeing him I know there is hope for us.”
“Of course there is.” Cawood dropped into her seat. “While there are people like Able around.”
“Indeed. And your own good work, Sister,” Jane said. “Though he’s working you to death with his project I’d say…” Then she lifted the envelope in her hand. “Oh, I’d almost forgotten.” She walked toward the desk. “I’m unfamiliar with the return address but a courier dropped it by just moments ago. I didn’t want to disturb you with it, since you were poorly.” She squinted her eyes at the writing on the envelope as she paused before Cawood’s desk. “I don’t know it. The address. And the name…” She slid her glasses on and held it close. “Brother Raul, it says.” Jane’s expression was thoughtful. “Dear, do you suppose he’s a man of the cloth?”
Blood rushed in Cawood’s ears. Distantly she heard Jane say, “My goodness! Oh, you look terrible I’ll go get water.”
Cawood gasped for breath against the rising tide of darkness.