: No?
HAYNES
: No.
WELCH
: There’s no memory anymore. That’s the problem. No memory at all. Pearl Harbor. The Alamo. The Bataan Death March. All gone. Vanished like they never even happened. You don’t want to start all over again, do you, Haynes?
HAYNES
: All over where?
WELCH
: You see? You don’t remember a thing. That’s exactly my point!
HAYNES
: Remember what?
WELCH
: The long, tedious procedure. The intensive training. The endless sleepless nights.
HAYNES
: That was a long time ago!
WELCH
: Yes! Now it begins to come back.
HAYNES
: No!
WELCH
: No?
HAYNES
: I was younger then.
WELCH
: Yes! Exactly. What would happen to your body now if you had to undergo the same ordeal? The same stress to your appendages.
HAYNES
: I could take it!
WELCH
: You could take it?
HAYNES
:Yes, I could!
WELCH
: The pain to your penis, for instance?
HAYNES
: No!!! No!!
(HAYNES suddenly grabs his crotch with both hands and holds on. A bolt of blue light shoots from his crotch. HAYNES just stands there, frozen, holding on to his crotch and staring out toward audience. WELCH stops stapling for a while, smiles at HAYNES.)
WELCH
: Some things do come back, don’t they, Haynes? Some things do manage to penetrate all the false heroics, all the flimsy ideology. We’re suddenly stung by our duty to a higher purpose. Our natural loyalties fall in line and we’re amazed how simple it is to honor our one true heritage. Don’t you find that to be the case now, Haynes?
(HAYNES, still frozen, clutching his crotch, makes a muffled whining sound of acknowledgment.)
We even know what the next step is, don’t we, Haynes?
(HAYNES nods vigorously.)
The debriefing. The recoding. We know all that, don’t we? We have it tucked away in our tiny dime-sized minds somewhere.
(HAYNES nods again, still holding his crotch.)
So, there’s really nothing left for you to do but to go back down in the basement and wait for our team to come. Isn’t that right, Haynes? Isn’t that what you need to do now?
HAYNES
: (
looking out at audience
) Do I really have to start all over?
WELCH