HAYNES
: Can I still get my Krispy Kremes?
WELCH
: Of course you can. You know you can. We would never deny you your Krispy Kremes.
(HAYNES, still holding on to his crotch with both hands, starts moving slowly toward basement stairs.)
HAYNES
: My Mallomars?
WELCH
: You bet.
HAYNES
: My comic books?
WELCH
: They’re waiting for you back at Rocky Buttes.
(HAYNES twitches at the sound of the name, and another blue flash comes from his crotch.)
We’ll have to get that twitching and flashing taken care of, though, Haynes. You can’t walk around like a popping neon sign. We’ll get that corrected for you back at base.
HAYNES
: (
getting closer to stairs
) Do you think I could—I could have my music too? Do you remember my music?
WELCH
: Well—I don’t know about that. It might be possible. I’ll try to pull some strings.
HAYNES
: I’d like to hear my music again.
(HAYNES goes down staircase and disappears.)
WELCH
: I’ll do everything in my power, Haynes. Everything humanly possible.
(WELCH resumes his stapling. Lights fade to black with sound of stapler as music comes in over the top and plays through break.)
End Scene Two: MUSIC INTERLUDE
Scene Three
Same Set: Evening. EMMA standing on kitchen counter taking down WELCHs string of flags. FRANK enters from outside through porch door dressed in suit and tie exactly like WELCHs and carrying an attaché case exactly like WELCHs. He walks very bowlegged and sore as though something terrible has happened to his genitalia. He hobbles to center of room, stops, and just stands there staring at EMMA.
EMMA
: (
standing on counter
) Where’ve you been? I was looking all over the place for you. Didn’t you hear me? I was yelling and yelling—
FRANK
: I didn’t hear you.
(EMMA climbs down from counter, bundling up string of flags in her arms, and crosses to FRANK.)
EMMA
: What’s happened to you? What’s the matter?
FRANK
: I’ve sold the heifers.
EMMA
: What?
FRANK
: I sold the heifers. Money’s in here. (
holds up case
)
EMMA
: Why’d you do that, Frank? Those were your replacement heifers.