Mike
What to do, what to do? I mused, staring at the manila envelope Jude had given me, my butt cheeks cold against the wooden pew. Christ stared with great sadness and pain from the large cross behind the altar, offering comfort, but not enough to sooth my turbulent thoughts.
Part of me wanted to read what was inside, but the other part was afraid of what I might learn about my friend. Jude was the most mysterious man I knew, and it seemed best to keep it that way.
After I’d returned from Germany, my time in the Army all said and done, the Call to the Church had pulled me into the Seminary and presto, change-o, a priest I became. Much to the dismay of my parents, who were lapsed Catholics to the point of being Protestant.
Then, fifteen years ago, on a clear summer’s noon, after I-a young priest-had finished my second service ever, I had met a young man in black and tan, standing on the steps staring at the church with something like superstitious dread.
People in their Sunday best had avoided him as if by instinct, streaming around him as if he were a large, jagged rock. After I waved goodbye to my flock, I closed the door and approached the nervous young man.
He watched me warily, as if I carried a weapon under my robes and was prepared to attack. Up close I noted how young he looked-twenty or twenty-one-with long curly hair that fell to his shoulders, so black it seemed to drink the light. Olive skin, perhaps of Mediterranean descent, maybe Greek, with a short hawk nose and delicate features, almost feminine. His eyes were fawn-brown and he had the longest lashes I’d ever seen on a man. Black biker boots. The slacks and tan polo shirt were incongruous-a punk rocker trying to look respectable.
I pasted on my most sincere smile and held out a hand, which he eyed dubiously. “Hello, young man. Welcome to St. Stephen the Martyr Catholic Church, I’m Michael and you are …?”
He took the bait. “Jude. Jude Oliver.” Hard calluses met mine. By the feel he was no stranger to hand-to-hand; his grip had some serious spice to it. “Who was St. Stephen and why is he a martyr?”
Taken aback, I blinked a couple of times before answering. “Ah, St. Stephen was a follower of Jesus, a prophet and miracle worker who was stoned to death after being tried for blasphemy against Moses and God.”
“He blasphemed? Then why is he a saint?” Jude’s intense stare was definitely disconcerting.
“It’s believed that the charges against him were false, brought by the jealous and venal. Even though he knew he would die if judged harshly, he kept his faith and begged God not to punish his enemies for killing him.”
Those powerful dark eyes moved past me to the church. “That is an unusual steeple,” he noted quietly.
Okay, the attention span of a hummingbird. Got it. “Yeah, kind of weird new age. Not quite the traditional gothic, but I like it.” The steeple was a hollow square tube that ended in a chisel-shaped skylight, a definite part from the norm.
“Does God love everyone?”
All right then; conversational whiplash was the order of the day. “Yes, my son, God loves everyone.” Something about the way he spoke bothered me … his accent was flat, almost atonal, as if he’d learned English as a second language at an expensive European prep school. I’d met a few rich German and Swedish kids who sounded like that.
Those eyes once again fixed themselves on mine. “I am not your ‘son,’ you know.”
“Figure of speech. It’s a priest thing.” Who was this kid?
“Even the evil ones, sir? He loves the evil?”
I stroked my moustache. “I’m not sure there are any truly evil people-”
“There are.”
“What?”
Those eyes became even more forceful. “There are. Trust me.”
Hmm. Maybe a bit daft. “Even them, Jude. Think of all people as God’s children. You love your children, even the bad ones, you want them to wise up and come to their senses, rejoin the fold, so to speak.”
Jude pursed his lips in distaste, as if he’d bitten something sour. “Not sure I can understand that, accepting the irredeemable, inviting them back into … the fold.”
I took a step forward and his body tensed, as if preparing for flight or fight. My years in the Army had made me tough and I worked out regularly, a regimen that kept me hard, but somehow I knew this kid could kick my butt up one side and down the other if he chose. “Young man, no one is irredeemable.”
For the first time something besides wariness flitted across his face. It looked like hope. “Can that be true?” he whispered.
“Of course, Jude. God does love us all.”
“What about the Anti-Christ?” he asked suddenly.
“What do you mean?”
“The Anti-Christ, does God love him?”
Wow. I sure didn’t see that one coming. “You go straight for the jugular, dontcha, kid?”
That earned a small twitch of the lips. So a sense of humor was hidden down there. Deep. “Well?”
Where was a rewind button when you needed one? I scrubbed my face with my palms and gave my answer some serious thought. “You know, the Anti-Christ is Satan’s expression on this world, the portal he uses to work his will. A finger puppet, so to speak. Satan is a fallen angel, created by God, and if God loves all his creations, which he does, then logic follows that he must love Satan, perhaps like a wayward son, and thus, by extension, the Anti-Christ.”
“The Anti-Christ is a puppet?”
“According to scripture, he will be killed and his death allows Satan to enter him, to use his body like you would a pair of shoes.”
Jude squinched his eyes almost shut as he considered my words. “I never heard that,” he said slowly, carefully.
“Revelations.”
“What?”
“The Book of Revelations.”
“Where is this book?”
Now I was starting to get a little freaked out. “It’s in the Bible. You’ve heard of the Bible, yes?”
A nod.
“Well, there you go, then.”
Once more that squinchy look. “Where can I buy one of these Bibles? Is there a special store?”
Was he kidding me? Briefly I wondered if he had been living in a Buddhist monastery since birth. Holding up a hand, I said, “I’ll be back.” In my best Schwarzenegger voice. He just stared with a blank expression. “Never mind, classical reference. Wait here.”
It took moments for me to snag a copy for the young man. He needed the Book more than anyone else I’d ever met.
Fortunately he still stood on the steps, staring at our squarish steeple. “Here you go,” I said, handing him a black, leather-bound Bible. “It might be a difficult read, but it will answer many of your questions and raise some more.”
He accepted the book, albeit with some hesitance, and flipped through the pages. “Thank you, sir.”
My reply was automatic. “Please, call me Mike, everyone does.”
That brought a genuine smile and transformed his face into something extraordinary. It was if no one had ever extended him a simple courtesy before. “Well, one last question, if I may?”
“Of course. Go ahead.”
“How can God love someone who was born evil?”
Obviously the kid had some major issues, but I felt that if I tried to dig, to stick my big nose in, he’d shut up tighter than a clam. Instead, I gave him the best answer I had, one supplied by John Steinbeck in East of Eden. “Thou mayest.”
He staggered, gripping the iron railing for support.
“You okay, Jude?” I asked, alarmed.
Through clenched teeth he hissed, “Where did you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
“ ‘Thou mayest.’ ”
“A book called East of Eden, written by a man named Steinbeck. It’s a retelling of Cain and Abel-“
“Who?”
“For goodness sakes, Jude, where have you been hiding?”
“Geneva.”
“Really?” That would explain the prep school accent.
“Really.”
I raised my hands in mock surrender. “Okay, I won’t ask. Safe to say that John Steinbeck posited in his novel that when God spoke to Cain after he had slain his brother ‘thou mayest chose between good and evil,’ thereby conferring free will upon mankind. Now realize, this is what I remember from reading the book ten years ago and watching the mini-series.”
“What’s a mini-series?”
“Oh, Jude, you really have to go and read the Bible. Buy East of Eden and rent the mini-series. Take a couple of weekends to absorb them, then come back and we’ll discuss.”
“Really? You’d want to discuss literature with me?” he inquired in a slightly hopeful voice.
My heart went out to the lad because anyone with eyeballs could tell he was lonely. Possibly the loneliest man I’d ever met. I gestured to my robes. “And religion, always have to talk about religion as well. Part of the job.”
He threw me a downward kind of smile and held out his hand, which I shook. “Ok, Mr.-”
“Engel, but call me Mike, please.”
Once again he reeled. “That’s … that’s Danish … for … for-”
“Angel, yes. Trust me, I see the irony,” I laughed, keeping it light, not wanting to do anything to scare the young man. God must have led this poor soul to me, and I felt it was my job, my calling, to render him whatever aid I could.
We made our farewells and I watched the strange boy walk away, thoughtfully turning the Bible over and over in his hands, a lost sheep in desperate need of a vigilant shepherd.
A thunderous slam! brought me back to the present with a start, nearly launching me out of the pew.
“Mike, there you are!” Jude cried, running down the aisle, dark eyes wide. “Tried your place first. I need your help.”
Whatever words were about to pass my lips took a U-turn back down my throat as I drank in his appearance: hair matted and disheveled, slacks torn, a deep cut on his neck bleeding freely. “Lord, Jude … what happened?”
“Can’t really talk about it now, Mike …”
I crossed my arms over my chest and glowered. “Make time,” I rumbled threateningly. “You come into the house of the Lord reeking of blood and looking like that? You better start making time right now.”
He could tell I wouldn’t be moved on the matter and carefully laid a grimy brown backpack on the carpet. “My Family found me-at least one of them-and now they all know where I am.”
“And the blood on your hands?” I pointed to the smeared rust-red stains, evidence of a poor attempt at cleaning up.
“Belonged to my cousin Burke. He doesn’t need it anymore.”
I sat down hard, the pew bruising my backside.
Jude knelt next to me and I could smell rank man-sweat and the coppery tang of dried blood. “Mike,” he whispered urgently. “I had to, he came to kill me. It was self-defense and, let me tell you, if you knew my Family you’d understand.”
My reply slithered softly past my lips. “Make me understand, Jude, please.” I felt a jittery fear I hadn’t experienced in a long time, not since the dry desert wind of Iraq stung my eyes.
“I don’t have time, Mike.” Jude’s eyes seemed to grow larger and sadder, as if a great weight was crushing his soul. “Burke’s death threw them off track for a little bit, but if I stick around, they’ll sniff me out soon enough.”
“They want to kill you? Why?”
“Because I stole something from … my father, something he’ll do anything to retrieve. I have to destroy it before they find me again.”
How come talking to Jude made me feel like I’d taken a big hit of some sweet pot? Always a rush, but accompanied by a sense of unreality. “What is it, what did you steal? Why do you have to destroy it?”
“If I can destroy it, this thing I’ve stolen, it will change humanity’s fate forever, man.”
Surprisingly enough, that clinched it for me because Jude did not lie. Sure, he’d withheld his story, had kept himself apart, but he’d never uttered a falsehood that I could detect and I consider myself pretty proficient at spotting fabrication. “What do you need?”
The relief that blossomed on his face soothed any lingering doubts I might have had. “I need about a gallon of holy water, Mike; then I’m leaving town. If the police come to question you, just tell the truth.”
“What about the ten gallons I had couriered to your place?”
“I don’t have a place anymore.”
With an almost audible click, the tumblers of my mind ratcheted to a sticking place as I came to a decision, one that would change me and my view of the world forever. “Okay, Jude, I’ll get you the holy water.” For as long as I’ve known him he’d requested holy water, but wouldn’t tell me why. To my shame, the donations he’d made to the parish had kept me from asking more than once. Things, however, were about to change. “But in return, I’m coming with you.”
His brows furrowed. “Mike-” he began, but seeing the determination on my face stopped him cold. Shaking his head, he laid on a tired grin. “Really, Mike?”
“Try and stop me.”
For the first time in … I don’t know how long, he indulged in a good belly laugh, looking younger than his thirty-six years.