Berren tried to pull away but the hand on his shoulder held him fast. ‘You made a fool of me, little bitch-boy. You know what we do to deserters, skag?’
Berren stared up into the face of a sailor. The sailor grinned and showed off his rotten teeth. Klaas. Klaas had been on watch the night Berren had slipped over the side with his empty barrel and floated and bobbed and half-drowned his way to shore. It took Berren a second to remember, and yes, he knew exactly what they did to deserters. They flogged them. A hundred lashes, and if by some miracle their man was still alive after that, they cut the tendons in his ankles and his wrists and threw him over the side to watch him drown. His eyes darted around the tavern. Klaas turned too, looking for his friends — sailors came ashore in packs and if Klaas was here then there would be others from Berren’s old ship.
As Klaas moved, Berren caught sight of a silver token around his neck. It made him think of another, long lost now but made of gold and with the imperial eagle of Aria stamped on one side and a sword and shield on the other. A prince had given it to him once and it was the most precious thing he’d ever had. For months he’d seen it move from one sailor to the next as they’d gambled together, and in all that time he’d never lost the hope that he might somehow get it back. And then one day it was gone. Stolen from a sailor by a pickpocket in some port Berren couldn’t even name. After that he’d toyed at nights with the thought of slipping through the decks in the dark, of finding a knife and slitting the throat of every man left aboard. A fantasy but they deserved it, the lot of them. There wasn’t a single sailor on his ship that he would have spared or even given a second thought.
‘Hey! Lads!’ Klaas stank of sour wine and sweat. Berren still had his stolen knife in his hand. It was right there begging him to use it. And so he did. He stabbed Klaas in the gut.
‘Why you. .’ Klaas’s face twisted with fury. He clenched his other fist. Then he let go of Berren and looked down at himself. Blood darkened his shirt, spreading out in an enormous stain over his belly. The expression on his face changed. Anger turned to shock and then to fear. ‘You stabbed me! You royal hunt! You piece of horse filth! Skag!’ His voice grew louder. ‘Skag!’
Berren stood frozen. Vengeance had become the engine of his life, keeping him going. Vengeance for Tasahre, his fallen sword-monk, his love. For the few months since he’d escaped ashore it had stolen him food when he was starving and taken the shelter he needed when he was cold. It had foraged for clothes and shoes to keep him warm even if they were little more than rags. It had bullied and fought him a place among the destitute of the docks and carved him a name that others had learned to fear. It wrapped its arms around him at night and whispered him to sleep, and in the mornings it roused him and drove him on. Vengeance was his lover, strong and terrible, who did what needed to be done while he looked and he asked wherever he went: Syannis of Tethis, where can I find him?
And now his lover suddenly wasn’t with him. He’d stabbed a man — killed him — and vengeance was nowhere to be found. He felt suddenly small and stupid and very afraid that he was about to die.
I killed a man. No warlock this time, no Saffran Kuy screaming in his head. Just him and a knife and his own hand holding it. The old instincts of a boy thief took over. He kicked Klaas between the legs as hard as he could. As Klaas doubled over, the silver token around his neck dangled free in the air. Berren snatched it and tore it away and screamed, ‘That’s what you get, fat man! That’s what you get.’ He pushed his way between the sailors who were beginning to turn and stare; as soon as he had space around him, he ran. The crowd of snuffers and the thief-taker were gone now, out through a door into the streets behind the Bitch Queen. Berren followed. He didn’t look back. Behind him Klaas had found his voice again and was screaming his lungs out. Klaas was a bastard and he’d deserved it. But then if you looked at it like that, so did every sailor on his ship. So did an awful lot of people.
I killed a man. His own hand. He’d been thinking it for weeks, thinking of Master Sy, turning the idea over and over in his head and seeing what it looked like, and all the time he knew that when he came face to face with the thief-taker, he’d never really do it.
Or so he’d thought.
The streets at the back of the Bitch Queen were quiet. Noise echoed from the riot on the docks; now and then clusters of people came running past, fleeing from whatever was happening there. The snuffers were ahead of him, seven of them. Master Sy was in the middle but all Berren could see of him was the back of his head.
He’d seen a man flogged to death for stealing once. Klaas was a bastard and Klaas had deserved it. But all that blood. . and Tasahre kept coming at him, lying on the Emperor’s Docks in Deephaven after Master Sy’s sword had ripped open her throat. She would have told him that what he’d done was wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.
He quickened his pace. Master Sy was a murderer. Master Sy had killed Tasahre. He still had the knife, fingers clenched around it, Klaas’s blood on his hands. He had no idea what he was going to do now, none at all.
One of the snuffers cracked a joke. Master Sy threw back his head and laughed and the sound of him laughing filled Berren with a rage. The thief-taker didn’t deserve to laugh, not any more, not after what he’d done! Berren started to run. ‘Syannis!’ he screamed. The snuffers’ pace faltered. They all turned to see him racing towards them, the bloody knife in his outstretched hand. But the man wasn’t Syannis after all. Whoever he was, he stared at Berren in amazement and then mouthed some word that Berren didn’t hear. The other snuffers drew their swords. Their blades were short. Familiar. Berren skidded to a stop, but too close. Two of them sprang at him. He turned and tried to run away but the first one tackled him and then the second one piled on top, pinning him down. ‘Who are you, boy?’ hissed one in his ear. ‘Answer me before I fillet you like a herring!’
‘Wait!’ The man he’d thought was Master Sy spoke. He was younger than the thief-taker and looked far less bitter. His voice was different too. More commanding. ‘Let him up! Let me see him!’
‘He could be working for Meridian, Prince.’ The soldiers got off and Berren scrambled to his feet. He stared at the men around him.
Sailors were spilling out of the Bitch Queen behind him. One of them pointed. ‘Him!’
‘Who are you?’ asked the man who looked like Master Sy but wasn’t. Berren pushed past and raced away down the street, fleeing the mob that was spilling out of the tavern and howling for his blood. The snuffers didn’t try to stop him.
Who are you? The question chased him down the alleys as he ran with a dozen murderous sailors at his heels.