The nightmare seemed to go on forever. The healers were busy and men went back into the fight without hesitation. The thrum of crossbows sounded behind me. I had forgotten them but Tulian had not. They were ranged wide, fifty facing north and fifty south. Our formation held for a while but buckled as the corners were pushed together and in. We couldn't hold for long, I thought. There was no way to hold for long.
I looked at Tulian, and he was doing the same as me. Seeing disaster and still thinking, trying to find a way out, a way to win where none existed. The equestes milled, pushed back when the corners of the triangular formation met and the lines merged.
“Send messengers to call the equestes in. We'll dismount and be a reserve on foot. Or just join the fight.”
Tulian just looked at me.
“The horses are useless.”
He nodded, gave the order. It was true. The horses were useless. Equestes were only of use in two circumstances, the running down of a fleeing enemy and fast maneuver to counter other mounted troops. Apart from that cavalry are useless and always have been.
We were losing men, being pushed back by sheer weight of numbers though we were hurting them badly, leaving new mounds of dead and trampled wounded. We would be crushed into a small knot and, unable to maneuver, destroyed. The sheer inevitability of it depressed me.
When the cavalry dismounted I joined them. There was nothing else to do. Meran walked with me to join our men and I wished I had not let him come.
Having killed in the night for the first time and slaughtered until after dawn I now faced death with a curious calm.
It was a dream.