In the dream – I knew it was a dream, it had that quality and I recognized it at once – Jocasta came to me.
“Sumto? Can you hear me?”
“Of course I can hear you,” I said turning to her.
We were standing in a garden. I didn't recognize it.
“Don't be afraid,” she said. “I am here.”
“No need to be afraid in a dream.”
She smiled and I realized she was pretty. Not that I had not always thought so, but that at that moment I realized that I wanted her and always had, though she had been even younger than her sister when she and I were betrothed. Orelia and I would have been married when she was sixteen if her family had not changed their minds about me. Orelia had been fourteen when we met, and Jocasta only twelve.
“This is not a dream, Sumto. I am really here and so are you, though that is not what I meant.”
It didn't seem to matter much what she was saying, I was detached, warmly appreciating her presence and her voice. “What do you mean?”
“I am here. Nearby. Not more than a mile from you.”
I smiled. “No. You are safe in the city and I am glad of it.”
She shook her head, coming close, smiling. “I am here, nearby, and this is not a dream.”
“Kukran Epthel sent you, didn't he.” I was suddenly angry. “Jerek told him that you were the one I love and he is seeking to use you against me, or your image, for I know you are not really here. And neither am I. This place does not exist except in my delusional mind. They drugged me, didn't they?”
“Oh, my dear sweet man, what did they do to you?”
Through gritted teeth I answered. “You already know the answer to that.”
She reached up and touched my face, standing close. I did not seem able, or willing, to move. “I do not, and I need to know what they intend. How can I help you if I do not know what they are trying to do?”
I wanted to take her into my arms, hold her, and tell her nothing of what I had been through or what I knew would be my fate. I wanted her safe, back in the city, not here were they could find her… but no. This was not real. This illusion would not hold me. “This is a trick.” I stepped back.
“Sumto, you must listen to me. I am a sorceress of no mean ability. I can help you if you let me.”
“Sorceress? You are a child. Talk sense if you are going to try and fool me. Try a little harder!”
She sighed, I thought she was trying to hold onto her temper. “I am eighteen and no child, I assure you. I am what I say I am, and I can help you.”
“Lies,” I stepped back. “It takes years to learn sorcery, time and money. No family would spend money teaching a woman sorcery, let alone a girl.” I turned and walked away, closing my eyes and fighting the dream.
My will prevailed, the scent of the ethereal garden faded and she was gone, her parting words fading away as the dream disintegrated into darkness, “No one taught me, I…”