NOTTAGE (n.)
Nottage is the collective name for things which you find a use for immediately after you've thrown them away. For instance, your greenhouse has been cluttered up for years with a huge piece of cardboard and great fronds of gardening string. You at last decide to clear all this stuff out, and you burn it. Within twenty-four hours you will urgently need to wrap a large parcel, and suddenly remember that luckily in your greenhouse there is some cardb...
NUBBOCK (n.)
The kind of person who has to leave before a party can relax and enjoy itself.
NOTBOURNE (n.)
In a choice between two or more possible puddings, the one nobody plumps for.
NYBSTER (n.)
Sort of person who takes the lift to travel one floor.
OCKLE (n.)
An electrical switch which appears to be off in both positions.
OSBASTON (n.)
A point made for the seventh time to somebody who insists that they know exactly what you mean but clearly hasn't got the faintest idea.
OSHKOSH (n., vb.)
The noise made by someone who has just been grossly flattered and is trying to make light of it.
OSSETT (n.)
A frilly spare-toilet-roll-cosy.
OSWALDTWISTLE (n. Old Norse)
Small brass wind instrument used for summoning Vikings to lunch when they're off on their longships, playing.
OBWESTRY (abs.n.)
Bloody-minded determination on part of a storyteller to continue a story which both the teller and the listeners know has become desperately tedious.
OUGHTERBY (n.)
Someone you don't want to invite to a party but whom you know you have to as a matter of duty.
OUNDLE (vb.)
To walk along leaning sideways, with one arm hanging limp and dragging one leg behind the other. Most commonly used by actors in amateur production of Richard III, or by people carrying a heavy suitcase in one hand.
OZARK (n.)
One who offers to help just after all the work has been done.
PABBY (n.,vb.)
(Fencing term.) The play, or manoeuvre, where one swordsman leaps on to the table and pulls the battleaxe off the wall.
PANT-Y-WACCO (adj.)
The final state of mind of retired colonel before they come to take him away.
POPCASTLE (n.)
Something drawn or modelled by a small child which you are supposed to know wait it is.
PAPPLE (vb.)
To do what babies do to soup with their spoons.
PAPWORTH EVERARD (n.)
Technical term for the third take of an orgasm scene during the making of a pornographic film.
PEEBLES (pl.n.)
Small, carefully rolled pellets of skegness (q.v.)
PELUTHO (n.)
A South American ball game. The balls are whacked against a brick wall with a stout wooden bat until the prisoner confesses.
PEN-TRE-TAFARN-Y-FEDW (n.)
Welsh word which literally translates as 'leaking-biro-by-the-glass-hole-of-the-clerk-of-the-bank-has-been-taken-to-another-place-leaving-only-the-special-inkwell-and-three-inches-of-tin-chain'.
PEORIA (n.)
The fear of peeling too few potatoes.
PERCYHORNER (n.)
(English public-school slang). A prefect whose duty it is to surprise new boys at the urinal humiliate them in a manner of his choosing.
PERRANZABULOE (n.)
One of those spray things used to wet ironing with.
PEVENSEY (n. archaic)