Elena finished the letter.
And then she just sat there.
After all her hunting, she’d found the answer.
And she didn’t know what to do now but scream.
If you need help go to Damon…. Trust Damon’s judgment….It couldn’t be a more blatant ad for Damon if Damon had written it himself.
And Stefan was gone. And his clothes were gone. And his boots were gone.
He’d left her.
Make a new life….
And that was how Bonnie and Meredith found her, alarmed by an hour-long bounce-back of their telephone calls. It was the first time they hadn’t been able to get through to Stefan since he’d arrived, at their request, to slay a monster. But that monster was now dead, and Elena…
Elena was sitting in front of Stefan’s closet.
“He even took his shoes,” she said emotionlessly, softly. “He took everything. But he paid for the room for a year. And yesterday morning he bought me a Jaguar.”
“Elena—”
“Don’t you see?” Elena cried. “This is my Awakening. Bonnie predicted that it would be sharp and sudden and that I would need both of you. And Matt?”
“He wasn’t mentioned by name,” Bonnie said gloomily.
“But I think we’ll need his help,” Meredith said grimly.
“When Stefan and I were first together — before I became a vampire — I always knew,” Elena whispered, “that there would come a time when he would try to leave me for my own good.” Suddenly she hit the floor with her fist, hard enough to hurt herself. “I knew, but I thought I would be there to talk him out of it! He’s so noble — so self-sacrificing! And now — he’s gone.”
“You really don’t care,” Meredith said quietly, watching her, “whether you stay human or become a vampire.”
“You’re right — I don’t care! I don’t care about anything, as long as I can be with him. When I was still half a spirit, I knew that nothing could Change me. Now I’m human and as susceptible as any other human to the Change — but it doesn’t matter.”
“Maybe that’s the Awakening,” Meredith said, still quietly.
“Oh, maybe him not bringing her breakfast is an awakening!” Bonnie, said, exasperated. She’d been staring into a flame for more than thirty minutes, trying to get psychically in touch with Stefan. “Either he won’t — or he can’t,” she said, not seeing Meredith’s violently shaking head until after the words were out.
“What do you mean ‘can’t’?” Elena demanded, popping back off the floor from where she was slumped.
“I don’t know! Elena, you’re hurting me!”
“Is he in danger? Think, Bonnie! Is he going to be hurt because of me?”
Bonnie looked at Meredith, who was telegraphing “no” with every inch of her elegant body. Then she looked at Elena, who was demanding the truth. She shut her eyes. “I’m not sure,” she said.
She opened her eyes slowly, waiting for Elena to explode. But Elena did nothing of the kind. She merely shut her own eyes slowly, her lips hardening.
“A long time ago, I swore I’d have him, even if it killed us both,” she said quietly. “If he thinks he can just walk away from me, for my own good or for any other reason…he’s wrong. I’ll go to Damon first, since Stefan seems to want it so much. And then I’m going after him. Someone will give me a direction to start in. He left me twenty thousand dollars. I’ll use that to follow him. And if the car breaks down, I’ll walk; and when I can’t walk anymore, I’ll crawl. But I will find him.”
“Not alone, you won’t,” Meredith said, in her soft, reassuring way. “We’re with you, Elena.”
“And then, if he’s done this of his own free will, he’s going to get the bitch-slapping of his life.”
“Whatever you want, Elena,” Meredith said, still soothingly. “Let’s just find him first.”
“All for one and one for all!” Bonnie exclaimed. “We’ll get him back and we’ll make him sorry — or we won’t,” she added hastily as Meredith again began shaking her head. “Elena, don’t! Don’t cry,” she added, the instant before Elena burst into tears.
“So Damon was the one to say he’d take care of Elena, and Damon should have been the one last to see Stefan this morning,” Matt said, when he had been fetched from his house and the situation was explained to him.
“Yes,” Elena said with quiet certainty. “But Matt, you’re wrong if you think Damon would do anything to keep Stefan away from me. Damon’s not what you all think. He really was trying to save Bonnie that night. And he truly felt hurt when you all hated him.”
“This is what is called ‘evidence of motive,’ I think,” Meredith remarked.
“No. It’s character evidence — evidence that Damon does have feelings, that he can care for human beings,” Elena countered. “And he would never hurt Stefan, because — well, because of me. He knows how I would feel.”
“Well, why won’t he answer me, then?” Bonnie said querulously.
“Maybe because the last time he saw us all together, we were glaring at him as if we hated him,” said Meredith, who was always fair.
“Tell him I beg his pardon,” Elena said. “Tell him that I want to talk with him.”
“I feel like a communications satellite,” Bonnie complained, but she clearly put all her heart and strength into each call. At last, she looked completely wrung out and exhausted.
And, at last, even Elena had to admit it was no good.
“Maybe he’ll come to his senses and start calling you,” Bonnie said. “Maybe tomorrow.”
“We’re going to stay with you tonight,” Meredith said. “Bonnie, I called your sister and told her you’d be with me. Now I’m going to call my dad and tell him I’ll be with you. Matt, you’re not invited—”
“Thanks,” Matt said dryly. “Do I get to walk home, too?”
“No, you can take my car home,” Elena said. “But please bring it back here early tomorrow. I don’t want people to start asking about it.”
That night, the three girls prepared to make themselves comfortable, schoolgirl fashion, in Mrs. Flowers’ spare sheets and blankets (no wonder she washed so many sheets today — she must have known somehow, Elena thought), with the furniture pushed to the walls and the three makeshift sleeping bags on the floor. Their heads were together and their bodies radiated out like the spokes of a wheel.
Elena thought, So this is the Awakening.
It’s the realization that, after all, I can be left alone again. And, oh, I’m grateful to have Meredith and Bonnie sticking with me. It means more than I can tell them.
She had gone automatically to the computer, to write a little in her diary. But after the first few words she’d found herself crying again, and had been secretly glad when Meredith took her by the shoulders and more or less forced her to drink hot milk with vanilla, cinnamon, and nutmeg, and when Bonnie had helped her into her pile of sleeping blankets and then held her hand until she went to sleep.
Matt had stayed late, and the sun was setting as he drove home. It was a race against darkness, he thought suddenly, refusing to be distracted by the Jaguar’s expensive new-car smell. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was pondering. He hadn’t wanted to say anything to the girls, but there was something about Stefan’s farewell note that bothered him. The only thing was, he had to make sure it wasn’t just his injured pride speaking.
Why hadn’t Stefan ever mentioned them? Elena’s friends from the past, her friends in the here and now. You’d think he’d at least give the girls a mention, even if he’d forgotten Matt in the pain of leaving Elena permanently.