“Slick, this is Jack.”
Jack winced at the undercurrent of static coming through his cell phone. The thing was the newest model, only a couple of weeks old. The interference only happened back here in his den, and that sure as hell made him mad. Every other place in the house, clear as crystal-back here in his den, hisssss buzzzzz sssssssh.
“Jack,” the voice answered. “Good to hear from you, buddy. How they hangin’?”
“Not so good. That’s why I’m calling.”
“Well, you know, nothing too good for an old roomie. What can I do you for?”
“It’s…well…I’ve been thinking of selling this place and moving.”
“Going upscale on us, huh?”
“Not exactly. More like moving away. Out of state.”
Hissss, buzzzz, ssssssh. The static surged more loudly as the voice on the other end momentarily fell silent.
“Like that, huh?”
“Yeah, afraid so. Anyway, you know how much I appreciate your getting us into this place. Bargain-basement price and all.”
“No problemo. After the old fart that used to live there died, his two kids couldn’t get rid of it fast enough. Funny, though, the deal almost fell through there at the end. I couldn’t even get them together in the same town long enough to sign the papers. Not a family I’d like to know better. They didn’t so much as speak to each other the whole time. But that’s neither here nor there. How can I help?”
“I know the market’s pretty soft right now…”
“That’s the understatement of the year!”
“Yeah, but it’s…I…can you help me dump this place? Fast?”
“Sounds serious.”
“It kinda is. Look, you and I know the condition the house is in. Will that make it too hard to get rid of?”
“You made any improvements.”
“Just the room conversion. The old garage is the family room now, and I had them build an adjoining garage. The property was just wide enough between the house and the fence to fit.”
“Umm. That will add a good bit to the square footage. Any more…uh…complications?”
“Not really. Just what you know about. Cracks along the foundation. Cracks on the inside walls. Seems to have slowed, though. Not much new recently.”
“Okay, Jack. I think we can work with this. It’ll take a little of money, though, not as much as a major re-build but a bit.”
“Whatever.”
“Okay, buddy, here’s what we’re going to do…”