It had been a few nights since they had rejoined the pride. She was making new friends and had even been on a very successful hunt with them. That was the best, she thought, having ‘sisters’ again. She could see the young male that she would have pledged to, watching over her. It wasn’t really bad, she thought. She liked have a bit of attention on her and not be it for bad reasons.
Other things did bother her, however. Although the king had accepted her into the pride as his daughter, he still didn’t go out of his way to be friendly to her. Same thing with Penzi. She had mentioned this to Debara and she just shrug it off, “Don’t worry, Elanna,” she would say. “They will get friendlier to you with time. Just wait till you bear the Prince cubs. You will become everyone’s darling then. Who can resist a mother and her young cubs?”
They might have told Penzi that she could just wait for him--when Elanna was gone, she could be there to console Kubali. They gossip about her. Did she really tell the whole truth? Was Taka really that bad? Might she have had something to do with Scar's death? Of course they don't mean it mean, but they do wonder about these things. Maybe one of them gets put up to ask her none too discretely. Awkwardly, in fact. Maybe this triggers the nightmare.
The most disturbing event happened during her sleep. As she was cuddled with Kubali, she feel asleep. She woke up in a dream, to see the land as it was under Taka. The lionesses all looked thin and the lands were parched. She went to Kubali to talk to thing. He turned to look at her, but it wasn’t Kubali’s face that she saw...it was Taka’s...his faced marred by the scar. She gasped and turned suddenly away from, only to come face to face with the king.
“See what you did, daughter? See what you did by your selfishness. You condemned these lands to this horror. If only you would had accepted my offer, this land would not be in this shape. That young lion that I had offered to you...he was the first to die.”
Elanna gasped. “No! Not again! Oh gods, was the curse on me instead?? Was it me all along??”
Suddenly, Elanna’s eyes flew open as she panted heavily against Kubali’s side. Her eyes scanned the area, just to see the peaceful scene she had seen before she feel asleep. Kubali’s eyes slowly opened and looked at her, “Dear?”
She turned to look at him, her breath calming down, “I’m all right...go back to sleep.”
He nuzzled her softly, “Bad dream?”
She purred softly and nodded. “Yes...but I can’t really talk about it. I’ll be fine, love.”
He yawned and gave her cheek a quick lick. “All right dear...if you say so. I’ll be right here if you need me.”
She did not fall asleep, however. Her mind raced of thoughts of the king’s word to her. Would this land fall into a drought because of me? Would Aiheu punish us all for my selfish love? What if he knew that I could never give him a cub? Now I’m not only ruining his future, but the future of a pride.
That last thought stung her deeply. She could never be his queen because of that. There would be no continue of the line beyond him. She looked down and sigh. She would have to leave him...give him a chance to have a future. She nuzzled against him, knowing it would be their last night together. He grunted with satisfaction, feeling her warmth against his body.
The next morning came quickly and she looked at him, fondling his mane like she did the first night. “Thank you for all of the things you gave me.”
He woke up slowly, purring at the fondle. “Thank me for what love?”
She looked at him sadly. “For all of the times we were together.” She sighed, building up her courage. “Love...I have to go.”
His head shot up instantly. “What? Why?” he stammered.
She continued to fondle him gently. “Dear...I have kept a horrible secret from you...something you must hear before you take me as your queen.”
His tongue licked at her paw. “Whatever it is...you will always be my queen.”
“Dear...I can’t have cubs.”
He looked at her stunned. “What?”
“Taka gave me cubs one time, but it was not to be. The cubs came out dead...along with any chances of me having anymore.”
He shook his head. “I don’t care...I love you. You will still be my queen.”
“And what about the pride? Without me being able to have cubs, you will have no heir. Your line will end.”
He licked her check softly. “I don’t care about being king...I care about you.”
“But you are prince, and a prince must someday be a king. You must not think about yourself. You must think of your pride.” She rose up slowly, giving him a soft lick. “Look for me when you join the stars. Part of you will always be with me, and I will not forget you.” With that, she slowly began to walk off.
Kubali rose up also, following her. “I’m coming with you...I give this up for you.”
She turned quickly, “No...you can’t. You must stay here and be king.” Kubali froze as she continued, “Tell your father and Debara thank you for welcoming me.” She moved back to him and gave him another nuzzle. “Tell Penzi that she will get a loving mate.”
“Elanna...please.”
“Before when we parted it was because of a secret, a lie, or a misunderstanding. This time I am completely certain in what I’m doing. This time it’s the truth that must split us apart. You know what will happen if I remain. Your father will discover that I am barren, and he will drive me off. I will tell him so myself before I let you throw away everything Aiheu meant you to have. Besides, it is Penzi that really loves you. I just wanted a little companionship.”
“Don’t say that!”
“But it’s true! I like you well enough, and you’re a very good lover as far as that goes. But I’m just not in love with you. Penzi is, and your feelings for her could be returned.”
“But Elanna! I know it’s not so! I know you love me! I felt your body tremble next to mine! Oh gods, you can’t tell me that was all an act!”
She kissed him gently. “That does not matter now. You gave me back my self respect. We were together when we needed each other. Now you need Penzi and she needs you.”
“And what do you need??”
“I need to face my past. I need to go some place where you can’t come. Darling, if you love me, let me go. Please??”
“Say you love me first.”
She looked at him, eyes moist with tears. “I won’t lie to you. I am a ripped gazelle, and my heart is being slowly eaten.” She came and kissed his cheek quickly, then turned and trotted away into the grass. A short distance off, she heard his mournful roar. She fell to the ground and sobbed.