Laura was there, she could hear her voice somewhere in the ship. Her eyesight was blurry at first but it cleared up after a few blinks. The bunk she rested on wasn't made for long term rest but all her tactile sensations were dulled, the world seemed faint, muted.
Boot steps sounded against the boarding ramp, on the deck, then she saw him. He seemed bigger, stronger than she remembered, wearing a newer black vacsuit and coat, the scarf she had made for him from the remnants of her shawl was hanging around his neck.
He smiled at her and knelt down low right at her bedside and she managed to catch the end of the scarf with her fingers on the way down. It had lost a few centimetres on that end, the hem was different, probably repaired after some misadventure.
His bare hand stroked her face and Jonas smiled at her warmly. “I couldn't remember you for a long time,” he whispered. “Now I can't imagine how I could have forgotten you.”
“I never stopped looking,” she managed to say. It was hard to talk, she was so tired.
“I know. You were the only thing that kept me together after Vindyne took me. You were all I needed.”
“I missed you,” she tried not to cry, but a tear slipped.
“I'm here now. I'm finally here,” his hand was so gentle, tracing her cheek back to the seal of her vacsuit in front of her ear. She didn't want him to draw it back and see her hair had gone, so with no small effort she reached for his hand.
He saw her weakly raising her arm, her hand coming towards his and he caught it gently with his own. “I love you so much Ayan.”
“My one candle in the dark,” she breathed, smiling a little. “Finally found you, no getting away from me now.”
Her Britannian accent showed more when she was tired, and she was so weary, he could barely hear her speak.
“You remember everything now?”
“Just in time,” he said, a pain unlike any he'd ever known gripping him. “I remember where this comes from,” he rubbed the back of her hand against the silk a little. “The shawl you wore during the pilot's ball. You had me speechless. I was yours from then on.”
“I had more fun during our leave time together on Starfree Port,” she whispered, smiling wanly.
“Spending time with Jason and Laura,” he continued for her.
“Nights in your quarters. You made my life complete Jonas,” she stopped and rolled her eyes for a moment before focusing back on him. “I had to come, see you one more time,” Ayan took a shallow breath. “To say goodbye.”
He knew it was true, the small ship was packed with medical miracles, everything that could be done had been. “I know. Thank you,” he leaned in and kissed her lips, pressing only gently, just briefly.
When he looked at her again she smiled, truly and fully smiled as she closed her eyes and said; “I love you.”
Those eyes didn't open again, but he sat with her for the next few hours. Laura was at his side the entire time. They kept her company as she slipped away.
Passing Into The Stars
Along the front edge of hangar one were lined up all those who had died on the Triton. In place of those who didn't leave a body to mourn over, one or more of their possessions had been laid in their place. The crew had done Jacob, Laura and Alice the honour of placing Ayan's body, wrapped in white, in the middle. Jacob laid the long coat he had originally found in his bag atop her and tied them together gently with the scarf he had worn for so long.
Most crewmembers thought the Captain mourned his brother and wife, or his long lost love. That was the prevailing rumour and no one put it down. The number of bodies was surprising. Casualties from fighting for the Triton, from the Aucharian boarding parties, the acts of a spy aboard killing an entire squad, an artificial intelligence virus killing crew members who were unlucky enough to have a medical injector equipped control unit, and the collision in hyperspace entry. Everyone remembered someone who died on the Triton, whether they had just met them that day, or they had come aboard with them after knowing them for years.
There was no podium or dais set up in front of the bodies wrapped in sheets of black, white, red, green or blue, representing their nationality or point of origin. Everyone lined up ten meters behind the line that indicated where a pressure door would be coming down. They were arranged in rank. Everyone behind their Chief, the Chiefs behind the Captain and First Officer. Laura Everin stood beside Jacob Valance. They were all in black, grey, blue, red or white uniforms.
Liam Grady was the only exception. He wore his blue robes cinched with a red belt. When his engineering, maintenance and damage control staff were in place he walked to the front.
“It is easy to mourn those who are no longer with us and be sorrowful,” he began. It wasn't his way to shout, everyone could hear him through the communicators they wore. “It is difficult but so much more fitting to mourn through celebration. If my time were to come tomorrow, I would want people to remember me smiling, lending a hand, or having a laugh. If my memory brings a smile or I'm part of something that is retold, then I live on in joy. There are so many people here who can be remembered in just such a way. I knew Gareth Kinsey all of three days and I need two hands to count the number of times he got a smile out of me.”
The sounds of some of his engineering staff quietly agreeing with him could be heard by those standing nearby.
“Tell those stories, I know I will. Sure, all the comments and jokes Gareth had sounded better coming from him, but they're still worth repeating. I'll do my best to tell and retell the stories because I think it's worth sharing my experiences with all my people.
I'll tell them in celebration, because we have so much to celebrate. We live on to honour these people. We are together, no one should mourn alone, not on this ship. Not on this ship. I am only starting to see it, but there is a family forming here. A family that has had hardship, knows camaraderie, loss, victory and that is worth celebrating. It has brought us together and those who had no home have found one. Those that can no longer be with us help make this home as much as anyone. Remember them, honour them by taking care of yourselves, each other and together we can make a difference that makes their sacrifice worth something.
Now I would like to say a prayer. I invite everyone to bow their heads.
May all those who are dear to us know how they are loved.
May all those who cannot follow us on our journey know they are not forgotten.
May all those who feel alone in this universe not go long without a companion.
May all those who we have lost find peace and happiness.
It's fortunate that our place of rest and repair is so near a stellar nursery. All of them will become a part of forming new life in the galaxy. They are bound for a rare, ambitious new beginning.”
The pressure door rolled down from the high ceiling and closed. Through the transparesteel everyone watched as the field holding the air inside the front of the hangar was turned off and the escaping atmosphere drew all the remains outside. Laura took Jake's hand and squeezed it. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she watched quietly. He squeezed back and just watched them all drift through space towards the large white, yellow and blue end of the nebula.