"You spoke with him again?" he pressed.
"It's no big deal, Smitty. He's not talking. The Russians have bundled him off to their embassy. I'm betting he's signed himself up for a nice Siberian honeymoon. Especially when they get a load of what Bartholomew Cubbins has been covering up with his five hundred hats."
Smith drummed a hand on his desk. "I suppose this has worked out for the best. Still, I am not pleased if your-" he hesitated, searching for the right word "-creative visit to Nikolai Carbegtrov is in any way responsible for this."
"Know a joke when you hear one, Smitty?" Remo droned, irritated. "The sub was stolen long before I tattooed Garby. I'm not a coconspirator. Sheesh."
"Very well," Smith said, wrapping up the call. "The President still intends to go to Mayana today. I'm not sure if that has changed privately, given the events of last night. If you feel it's safe, I see no problem. I'll call him and let him know."
"Tell him to pack nose plugs," Remo warned. "I'll see you when I get back, Smitty."
The connection broke with an electronic blip, rather than a click. Smith realized CURE's enforcement arm had been using a cell phone.
During the phone call, Mark Howard had taken a seat before the desk. As Smith hung up the blue contact phone, the young man got to his feet.
"You heard," Smith said.
"Enough," Howard said. "You going to call the President now?"
Smith checked his wristwatch. "Yes," he said. "The President is an early riser. He should be up by now."
"Okay," Howard said. "I'll be in my office if you need me. I'll see you for the meeting at nine."
The young man headed for the door. As Smith was reaching for the special White House line in the bottom desk drawer, he glanced at his computer screen. His eye was drawn once more to the blot in the valley above the Vaporizer site.
"Mark," Smith called.
When the assistant CURE director turned, Smith had one hand on the red phone. He was frowning down at his monitor.
"When you check on this road, see what you can find out about the valley above it," Smith said.
"Yes, sir," Howard said.
As Mark left the room, Smith was picking up the cherry-red receiver. His suspicious gray eyes never left the crisp Mayanan satellite image.
"THANKS, BUDDY."
Rema took the cell phone back from the Mayanan dockworker he had asked to dial and hang up for him. He'd held the man by the scruff of the neck throughout the call with Smith. The dockworker was just grateful to be free. Nodding a "you're welcome," he hurried off.
The wide dock on which Remo stood was ordinarily used for cruise ships. Across the broad concrete slab, the submarine Novgorod sat exposed to the world. A crowd of reporters, government officials and gawkers crammed the area.
Away from the crowd stood a wizened figure. Chiun was watching the crowd as the crowd watched the sub.
As he crossed the dock, Remo tried to figure out how to snap the cell phone shut. It should have been easy to do-after all, he had done it back at the hotel-but for some reason this time it wouldn't budge.
"I knew I let that guy go too soon," he griped, struggling with the phone as he walked up to his teacher. "That's it, Little Father. We can get out of here."
"It is high time," Chiun replied. "The stench of this place has permanently corrupted the fabric of my kimono. I will be sending your Emperor Smith a bill."
"'Our,'" Remo corrected. "You're still on the payroll."
Chiun stroked his thread of a beard. "As an uninvolved adviser, perhaps. Until my exact position post-Reigning Master is determined, I am little more."
"You gonna give half the money back?"
Chiun fixed him with a glare he reserved exclusively for rambling mental defectives and Remo at his most obtuse. He was still glaring when Petrovina Bulganin strolled up.
"The crew has largely confessed to working for Green Earth," the Institute agent said. "It looks as if Mayana wants to get rid of submarine and end this matter quickly. UN inspectors are already in the country for Globe Summit, so they will oversee disarming of weapons. Once hatch is repaired, submarine will be towed to rendezvous with Russian ship that will take it rest of the way home."
"Super," Remo said, uninterested.
He was still struggling with the phone. He didn't want to break it, but it looked as if that was the only way to shut it. But that couldn't be the case, because cell phones weren't tossed out like Band-Aids after one use. At least he didn't think they were.
Petrovina saw him grappling and tipped closer to see what was hidden in his hands. She was surprised when she recognized the phone she'd dropped back at the hotel.
"That's it," Remo said, frustrated. "I'm chucking it." He hauled back, ready to heave the phone into the harbor.
"No!" Petrovina snapped. "That's-" She stopped abruptly, hands outstretched.
Remo paused. "You want it?" he offered. Petrovina hesitated. For an instant her hand wavered in place.
"Yes, I do," Chiun interjected. He snatched the phone from Remo's outstretched hand. He clicked it easily shut, and the cell phone vanished up a broad kimono sleeve.
"I meant Petrovina, Little Father. And how did you shut that thing? It was stuck or something."
"I don't want it," Petrovina announced.
"Good, because you cannot have it," Chiun stated.
"What are you going to do with a cell phone?" Remo asked.
"Perhaps I will phone my son who offers free gifts to Russian floozies he only just met while his father to whom he has never given anything nice is standing right there. Do you know his number offhand, Remo, or should I just dial I-N-G-R-A-T-E?"
"Say, I just got a swell idea," Remo said. "You keep it."
He turned to Petrovina. "Sorry," he said.
"That is all right," she insisted. She seemed suddenly distracted. "I must talk to Korkusku."
"You want us to wait to give you a lift back to the hotel?" Remo offered.
"No, no," she said. "Not necessary." She smiled a stiff-lipped smile. "The Russian Federation thanks you for your help."
"Yeah, okay," Remo said, raising a suspicious brow. "Give it a sloppy wet one from us."
She nodded crisply to Chiun. He scarcely noticed. "If you will excuse me," she said. With that she turned and hurried off, back to the crowd of people around the sub.