Let go.
It was time to let go of all that the Wild Magic had made of him.
Not to let go of being a Knight-Mage… that was something he would be until the day he died. But to let go of being a Commander of Armies. A General. Someone who had learned to see other people as tools and weapons.
He must let go of war, and battles, and death.
Let go of the deaths of his friends and loved ones, and keep their lives instead. Let go.
Yes, Kellen thought, with a sigh. I can do that. The sense of Presence lifted.
He looked around, feeling, as he always did afterward, as if he'd just awakened from sleep. The world seemed somehow fresh-washed and new, as if it were a place he'd just now come back to.
He sought out Andoreniel.
"I See you, Andoreniel," he said politely, when Andoreniel noticed him.
All around them, the people were returning to their homes, in the quiet graceful way that Elven ceremonies ended.
"I See you, Kellen," Andoreniel said. "It pleases me to speak with you once more."
"And I with you," Kellen said. "It occurs to me that I have been… too long away from civilized things."
"That is often the case, when one must do battle to keep those things safe," Andoreniel said. "It would please me greatly were you to consent to dine with me tonight. It will be a quiet meal, and there are matters I would speak of with you afterward."
A quiet dinner sounded just about right to Kellen. "It will be my pleasure," he said, bowing.
* * * * *
HE moved out around the edges of the crowd that was still assembled there, thinking of nothing so much as going home and brewing up a nice pot of tea. He didn't trust himself to make a drinkable pot of Elven Tea well, not one he'd offer to one of the Elves, anyway but Vertai had somehow seen to it that the larder was stocked with a fine assortment of Armethaliehan teas as well, and a large pot of Armethaliehan Black would be just the thing. Along with a good slice of the breakfast pie he hadn't had any appetite for this morning.
"Kellen! Hey!"
There was just about only one person in the entire Elven Lands who would hail him in that fashion. He stopped and turned.
Cilarnen was running after him, clutching his Staff of Office in one hand and attempting to hold onto his high-crowned Arch-Mage hat with the other. His long gray robes and ornately-embroidered tabard flapped wildly about his ankles as he ran.
Kellen grinned despite himself. That was a sight he'd never expected to see a High Mage of Armethalieh and not just any High Mage, but the Arch-Mage running like a common servant.
Things had indeed changed.
"Kellen," Cilarnen said, catching up to him. "Were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?"
"You looked busy," Kellen said. Actually, Cilarnen had looked surrounded by High Mages, and that was somewhere Kellen didn't really want to be. "I thought I might see you later." Certainly Vertai would know where to find Cilarnen. The Elven penchant for gossip was one thing that the war hadn't changed.
"See me now," Cilarnen suggested. "We'll be leaving in the morning. I can't stay away from Armethalieh very long. Light alone knows what the Council will have done while I'm gone, even with Kardus there to tell them not to. I left him my seal."
"In that case," Kellen said, "they're probably still paralyzed with shock. Come and drink tea with me."
The two friends walked in silence for a while.
"I've never seen you dressed like this," Cilarnen said doubtfully, regarding Kellen's formal Elven finery.
"And I've never seen you dressed like that," Kellen said. "You just look "
"Appropriate," they finished together.
"It isn't exactly the way I thought it would be," Cilarnen said. "Being, well, Arch-Mage."
"Worse?" Kellen asked.
"And better," Cilarnen said. "Now that the people know that they're a part of the High Magick really a part, because we couldn't cast our spells without what they give us things are different in the City. They can choose to wear the Talisman and stay… or leave. Nearly everyone has decided to stay. Those who haven't, well, they can go anywhere they want. Or that will have them. There's an amnesty they have until the end of the sailing season to make their arrangements to leave; I'm not just going to throw anyone out, no matter what the Council is urging. Next year… well, I'm going to start trying to get the Council to ease the restrictions on new goods. We'll have to, because of the trade we need to do. But Father was right. I can't do everything at once. I only wish I could."
"You've made more changes in the last few moonturns than the City has seen in the last thousand years," Kellen reminded him. "The rest will come in time."
"It would come faster if you were there to help. Won't you come back to Armethalieh, Kellen? We could use you there. And… you heard what Lord Lycaelon said today. Can't you forgive him? He's suffered greatly, you know."
Kellen stopped walking, honestly stunned that Cilarnen couldn't see what he himself saw so clearly.
"Truly, Cilarnen, there is nothing to forgive. You know Lycaelon's wife my mother, and Idalia's was Mountainborn. I think, you know, that she may have been a Wildmage as well. And the Wild Magic moves as it wills. I think that everything that happened between us was all part of that, to make me what I needed to be."
Cilarnen stared at him, obviously accepting Kellen's truth but not understanding it. He shook his head ruefully. "I will never understand Wildmages. The Wild Magic is just too… messy."
"But effective."
"Oh yes. I do grant you that. But… will you come back?"
"No. I told you that already. Wherever I belong and I don't know where that is yet it isn't Armethalieh."
They reached Kellen's house, and went inside, and spoke of other things.
* * * * *
THAT night Kellen ate dinner at the House of Leaf and Star. As Andoreniel had promised, the evening was quiet and intimate. Besides Kellen and Andoreniel, the only others present were Morusil and Redhelwar.
The plague-scars on Morusil's and Andoreniel's faces had faded nearly to invisibility, though both Elves would carry the mark of the Shadow's Kiss to the end of their lives, as would so many others throughout the land. But from the moment the power of Shadow Mountain had been broken, there had been no more deaths, and all who had been afflicted had recovered rapidly and well.
Talk during the meal was idle, and mostly of inconsequential matters crops to be planted, festivals to be held, new artworks planned by this Elven master or that. Redhelwar spoke of his desire to return to Windalorianan, to help with the rebuilding of the city, and to return to the care and breeding of his beloved horses. Morusil spoke of his garden, and how very well it was doing already. He confirmed what Kellen had suspected that the Flower Forest was, indeed, expanding.
After the meal, they retired to Andoreniel's private study, a place Kellen had never been. Like Ashaniel's solar, the walls were made of many tiny panes of glass, and through them, Kellen could see the garden that surrounded the House of Leaf and Star filled, at this hour, with its hundreds of multicolored lanterns.
The study was filled with lanterns as well, tiny copies of the ones outside. It gave the effect of bringing the garden inside in an unbroken sweep of flickering rainbow light. The effect was deliberate, Kellen knew. The Elves rarely did anything by accident.
"There is only one last thing to be done to set all to rights," Andoreniel said, once all of them were seated. "And it would ease my heart greatly to know that I might set this task into the hands of a friend."
There was a moment of silence before Kellen realized that they were waiting for him to speak.