She came to the table and began to wipe it off with a sponge. He leaned over and moved the HARLIE readouts off to one side. They had been left there overnight.
“Hey, leave those. I want to read them.”
“You do?”
“I said I did, didn’t I?”
“But it’s not necessary any more. That is—”
She took them from him. “I still want to read it I want to know what’s in it that you thought would have answered my question.” She tossed the sponge at the sink, then sat down slowly and began to unfold it.
Her face took on a strange expression. “You’ve been talking to HARLIE about me.”
“Uh huh.”
Her eyes skimmed down the paper quickly. She turned to the next fold of the roll. He watched her for a moment, then impatiently got up and went to the sink.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“The dishes. I’ve got to do something to work off this nervousness. Just read that and ignore me.”
“All right.” She gathered up the long sheets of printout and adjourned to the living room. “So I won’t be distracted,” she called.
“Okay.”
For a while there was silence in the apartment, occasionally punctuated by Annie’s half-serious cry of, “That damned computer!”
Once her outburst was so explosive that he walked with dripping hands into the living room to see what she had reacted to. She pointed to a line of type.
It said, DID YOU STAY ON OR ROLL OFF?
He laughed.
“I should be mad at you,” she said.
He dried his hands on the towel he had grabbed. “But you have to remember why I did it. Because I loved you and didn’t know why or how. HARLIE was the only — well, the safest one to talk to.”
“I think your computer’s a voyeur, David Auberson.”
“Maybe so, maybe so. But maybe it’s the only kind of sex he can enjoy. Just be glad we don’t have a terminal here.” He leaned over and kissed her. “You finish that while I finish the dishes. Then I’ll race you to the bedroom. Winner gets to make love to the loser.”
“Yum,” she said. “Let’s make HARLIE really curious.”
Back in the kitchen, Auberson thought about that. Yes, let’s make HARLIE curious. As if he weren’t curious enough already. He wondered what he would say to HARLIE the next time he spoke to him.
HARLIE, DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT ON FRIDAY?
LOVE?
YES.
WHAT ABOUT IT?
I’VE BEEN DOING SOME THINKING.
THAT’S NICE…
NO, THIS IS SERIOUS. I HAD A CHANCE TO BE BY MYSELF YESTERDAY, AND I THINK I’VE SORTED SOME THINGS OUT IN MY HEAD. I THINK I’VE FIGURED OUT ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I WAS CONFUSED.
YOU SAY, “WHY I WAS CONFUSED.” HAS SOMETHING HAPPENED TO CHANGE THAT? THE IMPLICATION IS THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER CONFUSED.
YES, Auberson smiled as he typed. SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED. I AM NO LONGER CONFUSED.
WOULD YOU CARE TO ELABORATE ON THAT?
I DON’T THINK SO, HARLIE. NOT RIGHT NOW ANYWAY.
Its still too special, he said to himself.
I SEE. WOULD I BE CORRECT IN ASSUMING THAT IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH MISS STIMSON AND YOUR DATE WITH HER FRIDAY?
YES, YOU WOULD BE CORRECT — BUT I’D RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT THAT YET. IF YOU DON’T MIND.
I DON’T MIND. HARLIE paused, I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR REASONS.
THANK YOU, typed Auberson, not sure whether he was being sarcastic or not. ALL RIGHT, said HARLIE. so YOU ARE NO LONGER CONFUSED. YOU SAID YOU HAVE FIGURED OUT ONE OF THE REASONS WHY. WHAT IS IT?
Auberson hesitated only a second, I WAS CONFUSING LOVE WITH SEX.
YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE, HARLIE noted.
NO, BUT I THINK THE REASON FOR THE CONFUSION IS THAT THAT’S THE WAY WE’RE TAUGHT. THAT IS, OUR CULTURE SUGGESTS THAT LOVE AND SEX ARE SYNONYMOUS, AND NOW I’M LEARNING THAT THEY’RE NOT AND IT’S CONFUSING ME. THAT IS, IT WAS CONFUSING ME UNTIL I REALIZED IT. I THINK I’M BEGINNING TO SORT IT OUT NOW.
Auberson paused. He considered his next phrases carefully. I THINK PART OF IT IS THAT OUR CULTURE TEACHES THAT LOVE COMES FIRST — OR IT SHOULD COME FIRST. THEN, AFTER THAT — AND ONLY AFTER THAT — THEN SEX IS ALL RIGHT. AND I’M LEARNING THAT IT’S NOT THAT WAY AT ALL. IT’S THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
SEX COMES FIRST?
YES, AND THEN LOVE. BUT IT’S MORE INVOLVED THAN THAT, HARLIE. FALLING IN LOVE ISN’T AN INSTANTANEOUS THING. IT’S A PROCESS THAT TAKES SEVERAL STEPS.
THOSE STEPS ARE?
I’M NOT SURE — — THE FIRST ONE IS OBVIOUSLY PHYSICAL ATTRACTION. I SEE THE GIRL, SHE LOOKS GOOD TO ME. VICE VERSA: SHE SEES ME, I LOOK GOOD TO HER.
OR, interrupted HARLIE, IF YOU ARE GAY, YOU SEE THE BOY, HE SEES YOU, ETC.
WHY DO YOU INCLUDE THAT?