I may be dreaming.
The ground feels solid beneath me as I sit up, the sky looks as wide and intimidating as I have ever known it. I see a dart of light streak from east to west, and wonder whether it is a shooting star or another satellite destroying itself in despair.
I hear a sound that is familiar, but out of reach. My head is light, and it feels as though I am spinning around the world. A dream, maybe, or too much wine and Metaxa?
I stand, careful not to wake Jade where she sleeps beside me. She is still naked, and her skin looks grey and dead in the moonlight. I reach out and touch her just to ensure she’s still there. She is warm, and my touch imbues her skin with life.
I hear the noise again. Jade stirs, turns, mumbles something. I cannot distinguish most of the words, but I think I hear my name, and an apology.
There is movement from the other side of the stream bed. The noise quietens, and as it fades recognition dawns: the crunching, tinkling sounds of the huge boat crossing the moat of glass. Something has come into the camp. I wonder if I should wake someone, tell them, but then realise that whatever is happening is a part of the camp’s life — they would surely have guards out there day and night. Instead, I slither down the bank and push my way into the mass of vegetation.
Voices reach me, quiet and muted, issuing orders. Then the sound of wheels on the dusty ground, like a fingernail on sandpaper. I push through the plants, breathing heavily to draw in the smell of growing, living things. Dark shapes dart away from me, one of them scampering across my feet with a panicked patter of claws. I walk into what can only be a spider’s web, the soft silk wrapping around my face and neck, and rub frantically to clear it away. After a time I begin to think I am lost, walking in circles between the ranks of plants, but then I reach the opposite bank. I’m surprised at how wide the stream bed is. It looked a lot narrower in the daylight.
A voice mutters nearby. I’m sure it is Tiarnan, the guard who brought us in. His tone is quiet but firm, confident but casual, as if he’s well used to what he’s doing. I crawl slowly up the bank until I can see over the gentle ridge.
The sound of wheels begins again as I catch my first glimpse of the wagon. It is about the size of a car, a flat-bedded trailer moving roughly on four bare wheels. There are three men pushing it. In the darkness, at first, I can barely make out what they are transporting. But as it nears me on its obvious journey into the ravine, sudden realisation strikes. It looks like a cargo of clothes, but why three men to push it?
Bodies. Piled high on the cart, limbs protruding here and there, moving with a rhythmic thump thump that could so easily be the sound of a head jerking up and down against the wood.
I gasp, duck down, a scream screeching for release. But I contain it. Somehow, I hold in my terror and let it manifest itself only inside; a rush of blood pulses to the growths in my chest and bursts one, and I have the sudden certainty that I am about to die, here, now, within sight of a strange crime and an expanse of lush plants. My breath comes in ragged gasps, as if someone else is controlling my respiration. I try to calm down, but my heart will not listen to me. I want to double up in agony, the pain from my chest sending tendrils of poison into my veins, spreading it slowly but surely throughout my body.
That’s the poison from the Sickness, I tell myself, it’s leaking into me and soon I’ll die. And then maybe they’ll add me to the cart and wheel me away, to wherever they’re taking the hundreds of other meaningless corpses. I take another look over the bank and see Tiarnan standing down by the glass moat, exposed in starlight. He and three other men are lifting bodies from the moat-boat onto a second cart. As I watch, Tiarnan’s partner fumbles and there is a sickening clout as the body hits the ground head first. He bends to pick it up, and I hear something which makes it all seem so much worse, if that is possible — a quiet laugh.
I turn and try to spot the first cart, but it has already been swallowed by the blackness. The grumbling of its wheels sounds like the gurglings of a giant’s insides, issuing from the dark throat of the ravine. I wonder where they are taking the bodies. A breeze sighs through the rows of plants at my back.
It’s the fertiliser, String had said.
The lake of dead bodies; the massacre I had heard and not seen, the terrible twitching of the dying as flies already began to settle on the fresh blood; the sound of wagons that night, a mile or more from where Jade and I had made love and slept.
I feel sick. Not just nausea brought on by the Sickness, but a sickness of the soul. I double up in pain as more tainted blood floods my system. As utter darkness begins to blank out the moon and stars, and the agony recedes into faintness, the last thing I hear is the interminable rumble of the loaded carts being pushed across the stony ground. Again, and again.