For the next week I was on auto-pilot. I woke up, I fed Jake, I changed his diapers, I ate, and I went back to sleep. I couldn’t think of anything past what I was immediately doing and Jake’s needs. I didn’t try to go anywhere, and I didn’t even turn on the news. I was in a fog, lost in a pit of depression and self-pity. All I could ask was why? Why did this have to happen? Why did I have to lose my wife? Why did Jake have to lose his mother? That depressed me a lot, that eventually Jakey will not remember his mother in a little while. I was all he had.
I was all he had. That thought began to stick into my head and I began to realize that I was all Jake had. I was all that kept him alive, all that prevented him from maybe turning into one of those things. I remembered a line from a very good movie once, and it stuck in my thoughts, so much so that I wrote it on a piece of paper and placed in on my fridge so I would never forget its truth. Very simple and more poignant than ever these days. “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” I thought about Jake and remembered my promise to his mother. Time to get busy living.
I turned on the computer and fired up the internet. I was stunned at what I had missed over the past week. Headlines of “The Dead are Walking” and “Dead Consume Living” were all over the place. Talking heads were discussing the end of mankind and things like that. One of the sites had a list of cities to avoid, as the number of walking dead far outnumbered the living. People were in a state of panic, and martial law had to be declared. Videos were all over the net of people being attacked by mobs of zombies. One had a video of an attack, then the cameraman was attacked and the last shot of the video was of a mess of blood on the ground as two bloody feet slowly walked away.
Realizing I could be overwhelmed with information and none of it useful, I decided that if I was to survive this, I needed to know what I was up against. I spent the next three hours learning about the virus, how it was spread, how long it took to incubate, what the symptoms were. I read survivor stories and got bits of information from there. I learned that the infected victims hearing and smell seemed to be heightened, while their sight remained normal. I learned that they weren’t particularly fast, and were extremely limited in problem solving. I watched a video of a zombie trapped in a small room because it couldn’t figure out where the door was, let alone work the knob. I began to wonder how in the world everything had gotten to be such a mess, with an enemy that was pretty much stupid.
I got my answer a lot closer to home than I intended. While I was on the computer, I happened to see a man out on the bike trail behind my house. He was walking on the trail when another man came out from between the garages by the condominiums. The second man walked slowly and directly at the first man. The walker held a baseball bat and waited for the first man to arrive. The second man was an older gentleman who clearly was infected. His skin had a grayish pallor, and he groaned into the wind. The walker waited until the zombie was close enough, then struck him on the shoulder, clearly breaking his arm. The zombie didn’t even slow down and barreled into the walker, knocking him down and biting whatever her could reach. The first man screamed and kicked shoved the zombie off, losing his hold on his bat. The zombie took repeated kicks to the face with no effect, and continued to bite and tear at the walker’s legs. The man screamed again and kicked with his feet, dislodging the zombie and scrambling backwards. The zombie rolled up and grabbed the man’s leg again, dragging him back within biting range. The walker’s legs and hands were bloody from bites, and he was obviously weakening. But he gave one more effort and threw the zombie off of him. The walker got to his feet and stumbled away, pursued by his attacker. The encounter had attracted the attention of another zombie, a woman with a torn shirt, who came out of a doorway, saw the walker, and started after him. I thought two things at this point. One was the man who was bitten was going to die anyway and become a zombie, and two, the zombies never stopped coming. They didn’t feel pain, they didn’t do anything but attack, attack, attack. My own experience was testimony to that.
Part of me wondered why I didn’t try to help the man with the bat, but as I was learning from the internet, the less attention you attracted to yourself the better. I was grateful I had covered the front windows with boards. They kept things out and let me move about my house without fear of being seen from the street. They likely muffled sounds as well. I was probably going to have to board up the back windows at some point, but for now the light was nice to have.
I checked on Jake and he was happily playing with some blocks, smacking them together and startling himself with the sounds he could make. I went back to the internet and surfed a few boards, taking in some survivor stories and tips on living on your own. I was interested in the groups that talked about “bug-out-bags” and what they needed for those leaving in a hurry. That seemed like a good idea, so I learned about that for a bit. I watched a few more videos, and I was struck by how many people made so many mistakes. If you kept your head, didn’t take chances you didn’t need to, didn’t do anything stupid, and kept your guard up, you could stand a reasonable chance of survival, if you weren’t trapped somewhere with no way out.
I wondered about my brother and his family in the city, and with a small pang I realized that I probably wouldn’t see him again. He was a pretty smart guy, and had guns of his own, but he also had kids to look out for, so his choices were limited. I had tried to call him earlier, but the lines were all down or limited to official use only. I had left an e-mail with him, but had not received an answer for two days. Likewise with my parents. That was probably the worst part, not knowing. At least with Ellie I knew, and had a chance to say goodbye.
I decided to turn on the news for a bit, and after making sure the volume was down low I sat on the floor with Jakey and took in the news.
“…government agencies urge people to not use the phones as they are to be for official use only. All citizens are urged to stay away from hospitals and clinics, and people are urged to stay away from heavily populated centers. Infected people are everywhere, and no city is safe. Road congestion has stalled traffic in all major areas, and citizens are being attacked in their cars by roving infected. People are urged to stay inside, do not make undue noise, and try to stay out of sight. The president will be speaking later today regarding the situation. In world news, Australia has been overrun with infected, and small pockets of humanity have fled to the deserts and the outback. Europe is on the edge of collapse, and Russia has sealed its borders to prevent the further spread of infection from refugees. China has fallen to the infected, and India is said to have fallen as well. North Korea attempted a nuclear solution, however their missile misfired and destroyed the compound which housed it. The crisis has reached pandemic proportions, and experts now seriously doubt whether the surviving humanity will be in sufficient numbers to take over should the virus be contained. In local news, people are urged to stock up on water and supplies as there is no indication how long water or power might last. Congress is holding emergency sessions as all National Guard Units are called to active duty. At the bottom of the screen are the cities in the United States which have been deemed unsafe for people to travel to. Anyone with loved ones in these cites are urged not to try and reach them. If you are to travel, safe centers have been set up in each state to provide shelter and safety to those who arrive.”
It took me a minute for my mouth to close. Holy crap. If this was what they were willing to tell us on the news, what were they hiding? I had grown up with a healthy distrust of news media, but I guess when the world ends, bias goes out the window in the interest of self-preservation. I was curious as to what the president had to say, but I was hypnotized by the stream of cities and towns that were scrolling across the screen. I wondered if there was a place on the internet where I could get a list of towns in my state that were overrun. As I watched the list go on and on, I realized that the safest course of action was to assume all population centers were dangerous, and you should not go out if you could avoid it. I felt sorry for anyone who was trapped in towns and cities. Where could you go? How could you get out? If the roads were clogged, you had to walk, and then you were a sitting duck.
I turned off the news and played with Jake for a while. There wasn’t much else to do, and it allowed me to forget what was happening for a while. After the tenth game of Where’s Jakey? I saw that it was time for his lunch bottle, so I made the meal and quietly fed Jake on the couch. He was a good boy about his bottle, not pushing at it like he had done in the past. His little brown eyes closed, and he was fully asleep when he finished. I carried him upstairs and placed him in his crib, closing the shades and door. I needed to make sure that I heard him as soon as he woke up, as I did not want his cries to attract attention.
I went downstairs and took stock of my supplies. Water was still running, so that was not a problem. When it finally turned off, I had a natural supply, but it was a long walk across open ground to fill up. Not an option if I could avoid it.
Food was in plentiful supply, I did not have too many worries there. I figured I was good for two months if I was careful, and Jakey was good for at least that long. Thank God we had stocked up before this mess came to a head.
I had plenty of ammo, and since the attack I saw outside, I was keeping my guns within easy reach. My. 22 was now on the kitchen table, and my SIG never left my side. I wandered into the garage and looked for what I could use as backup weapons. I had a pickaxe, but dismissed it as too unwieldy. I had an axe and a hatchet, but figured those would have to be last-ditch weapons. I brought them near the door, since you never knew, especially now. I took down my bicycle and thought about it. I had seen the videos of the clogged roadways, and wondered if biking was a better option. We had a bike cart that Jake could be strapped into, and there would be room for other things. Food for thought. I attached the bike cart and inflated the tires of both it and the bike. Just to be ready.
I went back inside and brought my backpack out of the basement. I spent the next hour putting things in, taking things out, testing the weight, seeing what I could carry. I learned that water weighs a lot, and I needed to figure out what I was going to do with Jacob if I had to ditch the car or bike.
I have to admit, at first the thought of being completely on my own was daunting, but as I began to pack and prepare and pray, I realized that I was comfortable with the tasks. It didn’t seem as strange to me as it might have seemed to others. It began to feel like this was something that I was meant to do, like I was meant to survive. I felt no panic, just a calm determination. Maybe it was because I had someone to live for, someone who needed me, but I think it may have been more than that. For a long time I had felt like something wasn’t getting done in my life, that I was supposed to be doing more. Maybe this crisis was a wake-up to see what I could do. Heck of thing, but I didn’t roll the dice, I just laid my chips on the craps table and hoped seven didn’t show up.
I went back online after I checked on Jake and went on with a purpose. I wanted to find out everything I could about the zombies. I already knew that they couldn’t feel pain, and they were driven by hunger. I knew if they bit you, they spread the virus which turned you into a zombie. What I needed to know was details. How fast were they, how were their senses affected? I remembered the one zombie acting like he was smelling me, and I wondered about their sense of smell.
After another hour of furious research and video watching, I came away with a much better picture than I had before. A decayed, rotting, smelly picture, but a picture nonetheless. I had watched several videos of people engaging zombies in combat, and the successful encounters involved people who kept on moving, who did not stand and try to take on a horde. Keep the fight to one on one, and you stood a pretty good chance. I saw one video where a person ran from zombies, only to be taken down after he ran out of breath. Lesson learned, they never tire. I read a report of a guy who said he tried to cross a street with ten zombies fifty yards away. He had stepped on gravel and they came after him. Lesson learned, their hearing seems to be heightened. Another story related how three people hid in a building, and two of them made it to the second floor and hid in a janitor’s closet. The third had hidden herself in an office. The zombies had gotten in, and zeroed right in on where she was. The only explanation was their sense of smell seemed heightened as well. I wasn’t so sure about that one yet, but it seemed possible.
I heard a little voice upstairs, and I ran to get Jake before he started to cry. He was talking to his fishbowl again, and smiled his sweet little smile when I came to get him. I felt a pang again when I thought about his mother, since he looked so much like her. But I pushed those thoughts down. Get busy living, I thought. I changed his diaper, and checked the supply. We were good for a while, but one of the things I overlooked was diapers for when he got bigger. I was going to have to think about what I was going to do about that.
Suddenly, it all came into focus. There was no more running to the local store because you happened to run out of something. There was no more store. You could run out to try and find something, but you stood a good chance of getting killed. There was no more manufacturing, no more deliveries, no more anything for a long time, if ever. We were lucky to have power right now, but it wasn’t going to last forever, since it was likely on autopilot. Water was eventually going to run out, and food was unavailable as grown supplies. Everything we knew or accepted as our world, was done. Would we come back from this? Not for a long time. It was going to be awhile before we would even feel safe to go outside. Who knew how long zombies lasted? Who knew how long the virus survived? I needed to think long term, not just here and now. With everything on the brink of the abyss, I had a lot of time to do just that.
I took Jakey downstairs to play for a while. The sun was still bright in the sky, and for all intentions the world looked like a pretty normal place. I didn’t bother with the news, since it was all the same. I didn’t bother with the internet, since there wasn’t much more I could learn. After a while you started to get used to the images, and that was something that truly disturbed me, given what I had seen.
I watched Jake play a bit, and decided that I wanted to bring in all the rest of the wood from the deck. I didn’t know if I was going to need the lumber, but I’d rather have it inside on the windows than on the deck when the zombies came calling. That was a big part of the change in my thinking. I assumed that the attack was coming, I just didn’t know when, and was going to do everything I could to keep me and mine safe.
I went outside and looked carefully around. I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but at this point I wasn’t taking anything for granted. I took my drill with me and carefully began removing the screws that held down the boards of the deck. I had my hammer as well, as some of the boards needed persuading. I took several boards inside, making sure Jake was where he was supposed to be, and I put a video on for him. I figured we may as well use the power while it was there. He liked the music baby videos, especially the one that had water as the focus.
I went back to get more boards and heard a knocking at the gate of my fence. That was weird. No one in their right mind would be roaming around if they could help it. I went over to the gate and heard the knocking again. I decided to take a peek first, so I grabbed one of the chairs that was near the fence and put it close to the gate. Stepping on the chair, I slowly peeked over the fence.
There was a man standing there, staring at my fence, and I recognized him as George Galos, my neighbor from two doors down. He stood there and seemed to be waiting for me to open the gate. I climbed down and opened the fence.
“Hey, George. Good to see someone from the block is still safe. How are you and Marlene doing? Do you need anything?”
George didn’t say a word. He just looked at me. More to the point, he looked right through me. That was wrong. My warning bells went off and I was just about to shut the gate when he lunged for me, his mouth opening and letting loose a hideous groan. I backed up and he grabbed my shirt, trying to pull me in to bite. I pushed at him, but he had a grip on my shirt and wouldn’t let go. I got forced back, and tripped over the chair that was behind me. George landed on top of me and brought his head in to bite at my face. I barely got an arm under his head in time and his teeth clacked an inch from my nose. His breath was horrific, and I could see large amounts of drool and bile in his mouth, which was starting to run down his chin. I forced his head back to try and keep his teeth and spit from me, and managed to twist him off of me. I wrenched his hand to get it to release my shirt, and I pushed away from him and dove to the side, rolling and getting to my feet. George was slowly regaining his footing, and he looked around to find me. When he saw me his lips retracted, showing me his teeth as he began to come at me again. I drew the SIG from my holster and was about to shoot when I realized a shot would bring all of these things within earshot to my house. Not a smart way to survive by calling zombies to dinner. I holstered the weapon as George came for me. I climbed onto the skeletonized porch, hoping the lack of boards might slow him down.
George climbed the porch, and immediately fell between the boards, his body wedging in between the support beams. He thrashed and groaned, smacking his head on the boards, trying to free himself to take another shot at food that was nearby. I looked around for a weapon and spotted my hammer.
Not liking what I had to do but knowing it had to be done, I grabbed the hammer and reversed it, so the claw end was forward. I moved over to George, who was still flailing about with his free hand and kicking with his feet. I worked my way around to his head and looked into the eyes that found me and locked on. His struggles increased, and I could see he would eventually free himself if I left him alone. Not wanting to let that happen, I raised the hammer, and with a genuine “Sorry, George.” I brought the hammer down and split George’s skull. He immediately stopped moving and went limp. I pulled the hammer out of his head and noticed that the blood was mixed with some blackish material which I assumed was a serious concentration of the virus. I wiped the hammer off, and tossed it into the grass, resolving to put some flame to it to kill any remnants.
I went inside and grabbed my gloves, stopping for a minute to make sure Jakey was okay, then came back to get George. I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him out of the porch. I dragged him to the edge of the fence and tried to figure out how I was going to get him outside the fence. I could throw him over, but I didn’t want to make too much noise. I could drag him out, but I was worried about attracting more attention.
A shuffling noise turned my head and I managed to see another zombie walking through my open gate. Dammit! I forgot to close that thing. Here we go again, I thought. This one was a smaller female, probably a teenager, although her gray-blue skin and bloody clothes made it hard to tell. She stumbled towards me and was halfway across the yard when I moved.
I ran at her and ducked under her hands, scooting by her and knocking her a little off balance. I felt her hands brush my back as I bolted for the fence and secured it shut, making sure no more surprises wandered through the gate. The zombie followed me, reaching out and lurching towards me. I grabbed up the chair and using it like a big fork, rammed it into the teen’s chest. Her teeth slammed together at the impact and she flew backwards. I ran with her and when she fell, I was on top of the chair which was on top of the zombie. The legs of the chair imbedded themselves into the soft ground and when I jumped off, I realized that I had pinned the girl to the ground, and she couldn’t get up. She struggled like a turtle that had been tipped over, but she lacked the strength to pull the chair out of the ground. I’m sure I could probably have gone inside and she would still have been there in the morning. I went over to where I had thrown the hammer and picked it up off the grass. I went back to the zombie who was still struggling, and finished her off with a well-placed hammer blow to the top of her head. A twisted part of me wanted to yell “Fore!” before I swung, but I hadn’t gotten that far gone yet with my humor.
I went inside to check on Jakey and found that he had rolled under his swing while I was outside dancing with the neighbors. I washed my face, hands and arms, just in case anything had gotten on me, and then retrieved Jake from the swing. He was still happy, but needed a change, since he smelled slightly worse than the girl I had just killed. I changed his diaper and put him in his saucer, where he was able to bounce around and play with toys, while pretending he could stand up. It was one of his favorites, and I used to spend a good amount of time just watching him and marveling that I had helped bring such a joy to my world. I set my teeth and swore once again I would not allow anything to happen to him. I had nearly bought it out there, and if I hadn’t moved fast enough, I would have been infected and Jacob would not have had a chance. I realized that what had happened out there was probably how a lot of people bought it. A neighbor or relative was infected, managed to get close to the living without them thinking anything was amiss, and just like that, they were infected or eaten. Either way, they wound up dead.
I went to the counter and pulled out a large garbage bag. I pulled it over my head after I had made holes for my arms and head. I went back out and pulled the chair off the dead girl. I dragged her over to where George lay and grabbed her by the ankle and wrist. Swinging her around, I heaved her over the fence after I had gained enough momentum. I then grabbed George and did the same, although it was a lot harder, since he weighed a good one hundred-seventy. His head hit the top of the fence and he cartwheeled over, landing with a thump on the other side. I briefly wondered what it must have looked like to see two bodies suddenly sailing over a fence in the middle of the suburbs. Shaking my head at the way the world had become, I stripped off my big baggie and went back inside, retrieving my hammer from the grass again.
Putting the hammer in the garage I figured it was about time to give Jake his dinner. I put him in his high chair and fed him his baby food. He looked so small in his big chair, but we had recently moved him out of his bouncy seat, as his legs were hanging off the sides. I put the TV on to see if there was news, and not just more of the same. I managed to catch the President in mid-speech.
“…a crisis which could not have been predicted or prevented. We simply did not know in time to save the millions of infected. We do know that the infection is spread through bites of infected individuals, and fluid transfers as well. You have all heard the reports that individuals infected with the Enillo Virus are dying and coming back to life. I cannot deny this inexplicable phenomenon, and experiments by our scientists bear this to be true. We do know that those returned to life can be stopped by severe trauma to the brain. It is apparent that the virus needs the brain to operate the host, and when that no longer functions, the individual ceases to be a threat. Our scientists also note that because of the length of time between death and reanimation, infected individuals do not possess any intelligence, and are unable to complete simple tasks and complex motor functions. We do know they can climb stairs, but ladders are beyond their capabilities. However, we urge all citizens not to underestimate them. They exist to spread the virus and feed on living flesh. This has been proven time and time again in our experiments. We therefore urge all citizens to go to protection centers set up in each state. National Guard units have been recalled in each state to protect the citizens of each state. State Governors are called upon to pool all necessary resources for the survival of the citizens of their states. Federal help at this time is unavailable. Congress has been released to states with functioning governments to help coordinate rescue and survival efforts. If citizens are able to travel to these centers, they are encouraged to do so for their own safety. We do not know who is capable of hearing this message, but please remember this. If only one American survives, America and what she stands for will not die. May God watch over us and deliver us from what is our darkest hour.”
I gave Jake his fruit and turned off the television. “I don’t think we need to go to a center, little buddy.” I said to Jake as he grinned at me. “I get a bad feeling about things like that, and it sounds more like a situation rife with potential problems. When was the last time the government took over something and didn’t make it worse?”
Jake waved his arm at me, a signal that I wasn’t shoveling the fruit fast enough. He only warns once, then he yells at me. He should be a load of fun when he becomes a toddler. He wasn’t a great conversationalist, but as a listener, he had no peer.
We finished eating, and feeling a few pangs myself, I went to the fridge and made myself a sandwich. I figured the power was probably going to last only a few more days, so I needed to eat the perishables before they went bad and were worthless. The freezer had a decent amount of food, since when I had stocked it I thought two people were going to be eating it. Hopefully it would last.
After a little while it was time for Jake to get his bath and get his jammies on. We went up stairs and I drew his bath. He was big enough to have a bath seat, so after soap and washing, I added some water and let him sit for a while. He enjoyed splashing and feeling the water, and was genuinely happy. I used the time to change into my comfy clothes and take a look at the neighborhood from my windows. I kept the lights off, as I didn’t want to advertise my presence, although it was still light enough outside for it to be difficult to see an interior light.
I saw activity across the street and realized my neighbor Rich and his wife were making a run for it. They had opened the garage door and were throwing what they could into the back of their Tahoe. Rich was standing guard at the door with a scoped rifle in his hands. Not much good in a close fight, but at least it was a gun. His wife Beth was loading the vehicle, and when she was finished, she shouted to him and he jumped into the car. They rolled out quickly and sped off into the evening. I couldn’t figure out why they were moving so fast.
I got the answer a second later, as their two daughters came stumbling out of the house. They were obviously infected, and their parents were running for their lives. The girls started after the car, but stopped after it turned from their sight. They stood there for a few minutes, and then the older one started walking off to the north, following the street. The other one stood in the middle of the street, swaying slightly from side to side. She was dressed in pajamas and was barefoot, her eyes sunken into her head and surrounded by dark circles. She looked around and I saw her eyes drift over to my house. I didn’t move, fairly certain that she couldn’t see me. I remained stock still, wishing with all my might that she would turn away or something would distract her. If I moved and she sensed I was there, she was going to come to the house.
A dog barked in the distance, and her head snapped around. She began a slow shuffle towards the sound, moving as if she wasn’t quite sure how she was supposed to walk.
I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding, and closed the blinds. I angled them until it was impossible for anyone in the street to see into the house, but light could still get in. I went and got Jake and dressed him, taking him downstairs and we played on the floor for a little while. I tried not to turn any lights on, as I didn’t want anyone to notice us. I wondered who else was doing the same thing, trying to survive by not being noticed.
I decided I needed to barricade the rest of the downstairs windows, just in case, and resolved to take care of it tomorrow. It wasn’t like I had anything else to do. Jake started to get a little cranky, so I made him a bottle and he went to sleep grasping my hands and putting his little head on my shoulder. I laid him down as the sun went down, putting the world into darkness. Figuring on tomorrow being a long day, I decided to go to bed myself. Reflecting on what the day had been like, tomorrow was likely to be lively. I wondered about the rest of my neighborhood, who was alive and who wasn’t. These days, it was hard to tell, and you couldn’t exactly stroll up to the door. You ran the risk of getting shot or eaten, neither of which was a fun way to go.
I placed my SIG on my nightstand and drifted off to sleep.