“What do you mean, ‘promoted’?” Kelley Winslow felt her pulse quicken.
It was the fifth week of rehearsals for the Avalon Grande’s production of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Never mind that the Avalon Players-a third-tier repertory company so far off Broadway it might as well have been in Hoboken-had only hired Kelley as an understudy, which really meant glorified stagehand. It was her first real job as an actress after a disastrous stint in theater school, and, at only seventeen, Kelley had been grateful for the résumé builder. But today, three steps into the theater, Mindi the stage manager had waylaid her.
Kelley was carrying a box of props she’d gone to fetch from the company van parked outside, and she had a pair of fairy wings strapped to her shoulders-the only way she could carry them without crushing the wire frames. “Mindi?” she asked again. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, don’t bother taking off the wings, kid.” Mindi took the box of props from her hands. “Our darling Diva deWinter just busted her ankle. She is out of commission, and that means you, little understudy, will be stepping into the lead role of Titania, the fairy queen, for the run of this show.”
Kelley was speechless. She’d dreamed of this-although however many times she’d sat through rehearsals, watching Barbara deWinter overact and undercharm her way through her scenes, she’d never wished anything bad upon her. But Kelley guiltily felt a rising sense of glee. This is it. This is my big break!
“Hey!” Mindi gave her a friendly shove. “Enough daydreaming. We open in ten days and Quentin is-well, to put it mildly, our esteemed director is now freaking out. So I suggest you go slip into a rehearsal skirt and haul your understudy butt onstage so that the Mighty Q can run you through your scenes. Good luck.”
My scenes. My scenes…
Thoughts in a whirl, Kelley almost ran down the actor playing Puck as he swung himself gracefully off the set scaffolding, singing “Am I blue?” Funny, because he was actually green, a pale iridescent shade head to toe-hair, skin, eyes-right down to his leafy tunic. Kelley had been told by one of the other actors that his name was Bob but that he was something of an extreme Method actor and had demanded he be referred to only by his character name while in costume and makeup-on threat of quitting the production otherwise.
Lunatic actors.
Between him and the equally demanding and very English director Quentin St. John Smyth, Kelley was beginning to think she’d fallen in with a real asylumful at the Avalon Grande. She threw open the doors to the wardrobe storage and fumbled with the rack of rehearsal skirts, slipping one over her jeans and buttoning it as best she could with trembling fingers. “‘Fairies, skip hence,’” she muttered aloud. “No-that’s wrong…”
Oh, God-what’s my first line? Kelley thought frantically.
“‘These are the forgeries of jealousy.’ Aw, crap!” She was blanking. “That’s not even the right speech!” Her heart pounded in her chest, and she leaned her head on the door frame.
This is what you’ve wanted your whole life, she told herself sternly. All those years of putting on one-woman shows for the household pets, and all the months of begging Aunt Emma to let her move to Manhattan to try to make a go of it. This is it. Get out there and show them what you’ve got!
Feeling marginally more confident, Kelley took a deep breath and dashed down the hallway and through the backstage area-at the exact moment that “Puck” launched a handful of glitter into the air. Kelley gasped, startled, as the cloud of sparkles settled on her hair, face, and shoulders.
“Oh-thanks a lot, Bob,” Kelley muttered, brushing at the shimmering dust as the eccentric actor laughed wickedly and darted toward the stage-left wings. It was futile-she was coated in glitter. “That’s just super. I look like a disco ball.” At least it matched her vintage My Little Pony Princess glitter T-shirt.
“Is she coming sometime today?” Kelley heard Quentin’s irate tones echo through the theater and felt her nervousness come flooding back as she picked up her skirt and ran toward the stage.
Once there, Kelley discovered that under the lights the fairy dust was shiny to the point of blinding. Distracted, she found herself tripping over both the hem of her skirt and her lines. Her heart began to flutter in her chest as she heard the exaggerated groans and sighs of frustration coming from the darkened rows of seats, where the director sat watching her stumble around like an idiot.
After forty-five minutes they’d progressed only a little over a page into Titania’s first appearance. Kelley had already managed to butcher half her lines, trip over a bench, and step on Oberon’s foot. When she almost toppled off the stage and into the orchestra pit, Quentin called a merciful halt to the proceedings.
“Kelley. Your name is Kelley, isn’t it?” He didn’t wait for her confirmation. “Yes. Well. Tell me…that bit just now…was that from Dante’s Inferno?”
“Uh…no,” Kelley stammered. Her face felt hot.
“Really?”
I’m in for it.
“Are you sure?” he continued. “Because it most certainly wasn’t from this play. And it bloody well sounded like hell.”
“I-”
“You know…as-well, let’s face it, shall we?-as completely incompetent as our former diva may have been in this part”-Quentin sauntered up onto the stage, where he circled Kelley like a shark-“she did still have one tiny advantage over you, luv.”
“She…she did?”
“Of course she did. She knew the bloody lines!”
The entire cast took a step back to avoid the leading edge of Quentin’s immediate blast radius.
“And, while I obviously appreciate all the effort you’ve put into making yourself sparkly…” Kelley shot a glance at Bob, who’d found something particularly fascinating to look at under one of his fingernails. Probably a sparkle. “What kind of crap-arse UN-DER-STUDY doesn’t know the bloody LINES?”
“But I do know them!” she protested. “I mean, I did. A second ago. Backstage…”
The Mighty Q’s sneer grew. “Well, that’s marvelous. Perhaps we’ll just invite the audience into your dressing room in twos and threes, and you can deliver your performance from there.”
“I…” Oh, God, Kelley thought, it’s just like theater school all over again. The blood roared in her ears, and she thought for a moment that she was going to faint. Or maybe barf. Right there in front of the whole cast. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment.
“Assuming your delightful predecessor doesn’t miraculously heal, then you have less than two weeks to learn the part. Less than two weeks. This production opens on the first of November come hell or high water. At this point, I’m betting on both.” He turned sharply on his heel and waved one hand in dismissal. “Right. We’re broken for lunch, minions. I can’t see the point of belaboring this any further. Be back here at two for ensemble work. You”-he aimed a pointed glare at Kelley-“look at your damned script.”
The theater cleared out quickly. No one seemed to want to hang around much after that, and certainly not around her. Kelley stumbled blindly to the courtyard and collapsed onto the steps.
“Kelley?”
She turned at the sound of her name, spoken by Gentleman Jack Savage, the actor playing the fairy king, Oberon, in the show. He was a veteran of the boards-in his early fifties, with a solid presence and a voice that could melt ice or peel paint, depending on how he chose to employ it.
“Hi, Jack,” she said, wiping her eyes in embarrassment.
“Gadzooks, my dear,” he chided her gently. “I know the Mighty Q howls like a banshee, but really, you mustn’t let the old fart get to you.” He sat down beside her on the steps and unscrewed the top of his battered old thermos, pouring himself a cup of coffee. The scent of dark-roast Colombian was comforting.
Kelley gave him a watery smile. “Jack…you know that people-most people-don’t actually use the word gadzooks in everyday conversation anymore, right?”
“I’m on a one-man crusade to bring it back into fashion. Along with odds my bodkins, ’sblood, and, let us not forget, yoicks.” He took a sip of his coffee and patted her knee with fatherly affection. “Everyone has to have a purpose in life, my dear. That is mine-quixotic as it may be.”
“What if I don’t?” Kelley stared fiercely at her sneakers, willing away the prick of tears from behind her eyes. She felt-she knew-she’d just blown her big chance. “Have a purpose, I mean? A destiny.”
“Impossible.”
“Why do you say that?” She looked up at him, desperate for his honest opinion.
Jack raised an elegant gray eyebrow. “I’m the king of Fairyland, my dear,” he said, and winked at her. “All of that pixie dust has given me extremely potent powers of observation.”
“Jack, I’m not kidding.”
“Neither am I.” Jack held her gaze, his face serious. “Kelley…you are seventeen. You are on your own in New York City. And you are chasing a dream that most reasonable people consider either unattainable or a damned-fool waste of time. Believe me, I know. All of which tells me that you are either fearless or just a little bit foolish. I suspect both. I also suspect that you are one of those precious few with enough natural talent to make a go of it.”
Kelley scoffed in disbelief. “You saw what I just did in there, right?”
“And heard, yes.” Jack chuckled. “You mangled just over fifty percent of your lines. I don’t care what Quentin says, for a first timer that’s not half bad. Well-it was half bad. But that’s the point. It was also half good.”
“You…really think so?” Kelley asked, trying to gauge whether Jack was being sincere.
“I really do.” Jack shrugged and drained his coffee. “You’ve got a voice. You’ve got a presence. More importantly, you have the heart and the passion and the sheer mule-headed stubbornness that could very well take you to places most of us scarcely dare to imagine.” He screwed the cup-lid back onto his thermos. “Now, call that destiny, call it purpose-whatever ‘it’ is, my dear girl, you have it in good supply.”
Kelley was not entirely convinced, but she smiled, grateful for the kindness. “Has anyone ever told you that you’ve got a silver tongue, Jack?”
“Many times. Unfortunately, never the reviewers.”
“Thank you.”
“No need for that, my dear.” Standing, Jack tipped an imaginary hat to her as he went back inside the theater.
The second half of rehearsal also ended early, but this time it wasn’t Kelley’s fault-it would have been hard to screw up her lines when she’d been ordered to rehearse script in hand. Although it was humiliating for Kelley to still be “on book” so close to opening, the company whipped through the large ensemble scenes at a pace and with a level of competency that even Quentin could only manage a few halfhearted mutters over.
After a couple of hours he released most of the cast, holding back the two girls playing Hermia and Helena so he could work on their monologues-because, he remarked pointedly and well within Kelley’s earshot, “they already know their lines.”
Lucky them, Kelley thought, as she changed back into her street clothes. She gathered up her stuff and hotfooted it out of there before the Mighty Q could change his mind.
Outside the day was glorious, the October sky deep blue and the air mild. The sun was shining brightly, and it reminded Kelley of fall days at home in the Catskills. She felt a wave of sudden homesickness.
Why am I doing this? she wondered.
In her six months in New York, Kelley had never once questioned her life choices: graduating high school early, dropping out of theater training to move to the city-leaving behind what few friends she’d had, not to mention her aunt, who’d raised her single-handedly since her parents’ death twelve years earlier. Kelley was all Emma had and they adored each other but, instead of continuing on with her studies at a nearby state university, visiting Emma on weekends, here she was. Living in the toughest city in America, chasing a selfish dream that-Let’s face it, she told herself morosely-apparently, she really wasn’t any good at. No matter what Jack said.
She scuffed her feet as she wandered up Eighth Avenue, reluctant to make her way uptown to the fourth-floor walk-up that she now called home. Except that home was something else. It was sky and grass and the trees of the woods outside her old window, and peace.
Kelley came to a stop at the corner of Fifty-fifth Street. Central Park was only a few blocks away. There would be trees and grass, and benches where she could sit quietly, looking over her lines away from the city crowds. Turning right to veer east, she broke into a jog.