“I’m not drinking beer” Holly folded her arms so that Vince couldn’t pick up the bottle he’d just ordered from the barman. Do you know how many calories are in that thing?
Vince glanced down at his lean legs and then reached for the bottle. Look, when you get back up into heaven you can have as many Cosmopolitans or whatever it is that young dead career girls drink, but I like beer.
Holly was about to protest but after Vince took a long swig she started to feel some of the stress of the day wander off into the corner. Hmmmm. Normally if she had a glass of wine or a cocktail, the sensation was a lot sharper. Less smooth. She lifted up Vince’s arm to encourage him to take another swill. After all, he was right, it had been a long day and it wasn’t like she needed to squeeze into her skinny jeans anymore. Perhaps they should grab a couple of Hershey bars before the end of the night? After all, it seemed a pity to waste this newly inherited metabolism.
Vince leaned against the bar and they watched the rest of the technicians laughing at something Andrew said. Holly was pretty sure it had nothing to do with html code either. In fact if she pretended the novelty ties weren’t there, she probably never would’ve guess they were all from the technical department. Now Graham was telling everyone about what had happened last weekend at his brother’s bachelor party. She never would’ve guessed they were funny, either.
I think this might’ve been just what the doctor ordered, she told Vince as he lifted the bottle to his mouth and took another gulp. Holly let out a satisfied sigh. She was definitely getting the hang of it now.
Well, your doctor ordered you to come back to earth and sort yourself out, but most regular doctors would probably just suggest a bit of relaxation to alleviate stress.
I wonder if Dr. Hill had any idea how complicated this whole process would be? Holly mused. It’s like we keep taking two steps backwards to go one step forwards. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you you’ve been great.
It’s not a big deal. Vince shrugged as he swung the neck of the beer bottle around with his fingers. I can’t imagine how annoying it must be to be so close to seeing your folks and being told you can’t.
I think that’s what made me act so crazy up there, Holly admitted. There’s so much I want to tell them. You have no idea— Holly paused mid-sentence as she recalled that she’d never got round to asking Vince about why he was so understanding about this whole situation. Especially when it came to families.
An uncomfortable thought descended on her and she lifted his arm up to have another drink of beer. This time it didn’t taste quite so nice.
Vince, she suddenly asked. Do you know someone who’s died?
For a moment he didn’t answer as they watched Bob Mackay demonstrate his moon walking abilities. My mom died when I was eight, he eventually admitted and if Holly had been able to touch him she would’ve reached out and squeezed his hand. As it was she had to be content with crossing her fingers. She didn’t know if it helped, but it somehow made her feel more connected to him.
Why didn’t you say something? She tried to keep the horror out of her question. All this time that I’ve been prattling on about my own problems and…oh no.” Since she couldn’t stare at Vince, she stared at the beer bottle. Eight. That’s when you moved away from our school wasn’t it? I thought my life went bad when my dad got remarried, but your mom died.
Holly, the reason I didn’t say anything is because like you keep reminding me, we’re on the clock against this one and also, it was something that happened a long time ago. I guess I’d just like to think if my mom got kicked out of heaven and put in someone else’s body, that they’d help her out just the same.
Vince, she started to say, but before she could get any further, Andrew appeared by their side with another bottle of beer in his hand and an embarrassed expression on his face.
“So Vince,” the tall technician said. “I wanted to ask you something earlier, but you were in a hurry.”
Yeah, and right now we’re having a private conversation, Holly wanted to say. Not that there was anything wrong with Andrew, because he did seem quite decent, but all she really wanted to do was talk to Vince about his mom. Just the two of them. Alone.
“Oh, sorry about that,” she heard Vince say to the tall technician and she realized Vince obviously didn’t quite feel the same need to be alone with her. “What’s up?”
Andrew gave an awkward cough. “I know you can’t stay long, but I was wondering…oh hell, this is really embarrassing…”
What’s he talking about? Holly asked Vince but he just shrugged.
I have no idea.
Oh no, you don’t think he knows that—
That I have a dead girl in my body? Vince queried. No, I think you’re safe there.
Andrew tried again. “Okay, so what I’m trying to say is…well…I’ve noticed that you’ve been talking to Gemma Gulliven today.”
Holly started to cough but Vince ignored her.
“Sure,” he agreed. “Why? Do you know her?”
Andrew began to fiddle with the label on the front of his beer bottle. “I guess I’ve spoken to her a couple of times when I’ve had to go up to HR but I’m not really sure she knows who I am. It’s just I was wondering if you two were…well…”
Oh. My. God. Andrew, the Homer-Simpson-tie-wearing technician, had a crush on Gemma? Holly wanted to giggle but for some reason Vince didn’t seem to find it quite as amusing as she did.
“No, nothing like that. I don’t really know her that well,” Vince said.
“Oh.” Andrew flushed. “It’s just I’d been thinking of asking her out, but if you guys are—”
“Definitely not.” Vince shook his head so fast that Holly could feel the beer starting to make her a bit dizzy.
“Well, great.” Andrew took a large gulp of his drink and the color returned to his face. “So, perhaps I’ll ask her out, then…Anyway, didn’t you say you couldn’t stay long?”
Holly felt Vince glance at his watch and nod his head. “Yeah, I’d better get going, but good luck with Gemma. She seems like a nice girl.”
He’s going to need it, Holly silently thought, especially since Simon Trimmer had finally asked Gemma out. Though judging by the downward twist to Vince’s lips, Holly decided she had better keep this information to herself.
You can say it, you know, Vince said as he shrugged his jacket back on and lifted an arm in the direction of the rest of the group to say goodbye.
Say what?
Say that Gemma will never agree to go a date with Andrew.
Vince, I wasn’t…I mean… Holly chewed her lip. Hell.
It’s okay, Holly. Andrew already knows what the answer is.
So why’s he going to ask her out then? Holly wanted to know, before remembering that she hadn’t planned to admit that Gemma would in fact say no. With capital letters.
Because at least then he’ll know he’d tried to do something about it.
Holly shook her head as they made their way out of the bar and back onto the street. There was no way she was ever going to understand men, and considering she was now getting first hand experience, that was really saying something.
“Sorry I took so long.” Holly looked up to see Gemma standing next to the bush that she and Vince were currently hiding behind. They had been there for the last twenty minutes and whatever weirdness had sprung up between them at the bar had disappeared again. “Has Rochelle come home yet?” her friend asked.
“She’s been in there for ten minutes and so far there hasn’t been any movement.” Holly shook her head as she glanced up to the art deco style apartment block where Rochelle lived.
“That’s a relief.” Gemma joined them in a squatting position so she wouldn’t be seen. “I was terrified that we’d miss this window of opportunity all because I’d used Arial instead of Courier New and that my boss was too techno-phobic to change it. Have you been drinking?”
“Sort of,” Holly admitted. “Just a quick one.”
Gemma swiped at a bit of dirt near her shoe before frowning. “I’m not sure that was such a good idea, especially since you know what a light-weight you are when you drink on an empty stomach.”
“Yes, but I wasn’t drinking on my stomach,” Holly reminded her. “I was drinking on Vince’s stomach, so I feel perfectly okay.”
“It’s true,” Vince agreed. “She only told me that she loved me three times…though I think I’m now her best friend in the whole entire universe,” he confided with a wink.
Holly raised an eyebrow. How exactly did Vince know so much about drunken women, anyway? Did he go out to clubs and meet them? She tried to think if she’d ever seen him out, but she was quite sure she hadn’t. Perhaps he went to the sleazy pick-up joints were the women were really free and easy? Well, she hoped he behaved himself because he was too nice a guy to throw himself away on a drunken woman with no morals. Not that it was any of her business of course, she was just saying.
“You are drunk,” Gemma accused and Holly forced herself to stop drifting off.
“Honestly, I’m fine. Vince is only teasing you. Apparently he has a sense of humor underneath his dark and brooding act.”
“Thanks. I think,” Vince retorted.
“Yes, but while it’s all well and fine to laugh about it,” Gemma said stubbornly. “It’s not really funny. Did you realize that alcohol is a depressant and that suicide is the third biggest killer in the fifteen-to-twenty-four age group, so obviously the two are closely linked.”
“What?” Holly and Vince spoke as one.
“It’s true,” Gemma persisted. “Sometimes people don’t show the signs on the outside, but it doesn’t mean they’re not there, and—”
“Gemma,” Holly interrupted. “Have you been reading those suicide help line pamphlets that have been scattered around the office?”
“It’s just a little bit of proactive information, it’s not like it’s aimed directly at you.” Gemma gave a defensive wave of her arm.
“That’s because I’m dead and as a rule they don’t try to target deceased employees. Anyway, I didn’t kill myself, remember?”
“Oh.” Her friend started to chew her lip. “Sorry, but don’t you think it’s creepy how many people feel like killing themselves and no one even knows?”
“Yes, well perhaps if they knew how awful heaven was, they wouldn’t be in such a hurry?” Holly retorted and Gemma blushed.
“You’re right. Just ignore me. Anyway, we got sidetracked. I’m still not clear on why you were drinking in the first place.”
“It’s a bit of a long story.”
Gemma glanced towards Rochelle’s closed door. “I think we have time.”
“Fine,” Holly said as she launched into the how they had tried to avoid Andrew and Co but had ended up being found out.
“But Fluffy’s so sweet and kind.” Gemma widened her eyes once Holly had finished her story. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I know, that’s what I thought, but apparently Fluffy doesn’t like Vince.”
Gemma looked shocked. “You don’t like Fluffy?”
“Hey. I never said I didn’t like Fluffy,” Vince protested. “I said that Fluffy didn’t like me.”
“But why? You know even though my roommate, Irene is crazy, she’s often said that if a dog doesn’t like someone it’s because there’s something wrong with the person. Like they’re evil or something.”
“Don’t be silly. Vince isn’t evil. You’re not evil, right?”
“No, I’m not evil,” Vince assured them both.
“Well why doesn’t Fluffy like him, then?” Gemma clutched at her purse in panic. “Oh no, please tell me you didn’t kick her, because if so, even if Holly’s stuck in the same body as you, I just don’t think I’d be able to talk to you anymore.”
“Of course I didn’t kick her.” Vince sounded just a bit outraged.
“Well, what then?” Gemma narrowed her eyes and shot him a glinty gleam.
Vince let out a reluctant sigh. “I guess it’s a positive that I never had any credibility to begin with because it probably would’ve gone straight out the door.”
“Vince, please. Just tell us what happened,” Holly tried not to chew on his lip. But for some reason this was important. After all, he was a nice guy. She didn’t want to find out he was cruel to animals.
“Do you remember how cold it was last November? Like really, really cold.”
Gemma nodded her head. “Holly used that as a great excuse to buy the most adorable cashmere coat you’ve ever seen.”
“It was gorgeous wasn’t it? Hey, now that I’m dead, perhaps you should have it?”
“Isn’t that a bit weird to be wearing a dead person’s coat?”
“Of course not,” Holly assured her before she realized that Vince was rolling his eyes. “Anyway, back to Fluffy.”
Vince made a sound that could possibly be construed as a sarcastic snort. “Well, one day when I got to work Fluffy was doing the rounds of the workshop, wearing a blue sweater.”
“And?” Holly was still confused.
“And it had a big F in the middle of it.”
Gemma stared at him blankly.
“Well, I thought it was funny. I mean dogs are covered in fur. It’s designed to keep them warm. They don’t need clothes to do the job. It’s dumb.”
Holly could feel her eyes widen. “You laughed at Fluffy?”
“You shouldn’t do that. Dogs are very sensitive,” Gemma added.
“Yeah, and apparently they have a very long memory as well. Look can we stop talking about this now? It’s embarrassing enough that a twelve inch dog holds a grudge against me, but it’s worse that people know about it now.”
“So you’re sure you didn’t do anything else besides laugh at the sweater?” Gemma double-checked.
“Scout’s honor.” Vince lifted his hand up in something that made him look more like a trekkie than a Boy Scout and Gemma seemed satisfied, but before she could say anything else, the front door swung open and Rochelle Jackson emerged.
She was wearing some sort of oversized pink belt, which was masquerading as a skirt, with an equally non-existent piece of material on her top half.
For a step class?
And boy, she had enough perfume on to kill flies. Honestly the girl was a walking tart shop. But the thing that made Holly and Gemma really drop their jaw was the size of Rochelle’s hair. It was like a Dolly Parton wig, but without Dolly’s spunkiness to pull it off.
“Do you think the fact that Todd’s single again has gone to her head?” Gemma whispered.
“Something’s gone there,” Vince agreed as they slunk further down behind the bush.
It seemed to take Rochelle ages to lock the door and even longer to redo her hair but finally she walked over to her car, and the minute she finished grinding the gears and driving off down the road, Holly jumped to her feet. It looked like this was it.