I really dont mean to hound you about this. Teeny took a slurp of herbal tea from his delicate china cup and sighed. But Rick, I gotta ask you, man. Seriously… /what the fuck/?
Rick laughed. He stretched his legs out over the porch railing, leaned back in the old rocker, and folded his hands on his lap. Twilight had begun its slide over Samhain Ranch, pushing the sun west beyond the vineyards, throwing gold light down onto the grapes and red streaks up into the sky. This was his favorite time of day. This was his favorite spot on earth. And he was counting on a weekend of Sonoma Valley solitude and silence to help him come up with an answer to Teenys question.
Point taken, he said.
Shes cute. Okay, fine, not my gender of choice, but I can appreciate cuteness when it shows up, despite the mark-of-Zorro eyebrow wax. Teeny held his teacup in midair. But Ill be honest with you, man. Im baffled.
There hasnt been a woman in your life for almost seven years! Ive watched you make an art form of turning women down! I mean, Gwen Anders is /still/ trying to get in your chinos! After all these years!
Wax? She told me she had allergies.
Teeny chuckled. Hell, no. That was a wax job gone terribly wrong, no doubt about it.
Why are we discussing Gwen Anders? Rick closed his eyes for a moment and searched for patience. The woman runs my foundation. Shes smart and conscientious. I dont want anything more to do with her, not now, not ever, as you are well aware.
Yes. I am. Which brings us right back to my original questionwhy /Josephine Sheehan/? Are you sure about this?
Rick gave his head a quick shake, closing his eyes to concentrate on his breath. In, out, searching deep for some kind of reasonable response.
This wasnt a question for his mind, that much he was sure of. It was a question for his heart, and Rick and his heart hadnt been on speaking terms for a very long time, even before the accident. He opened his eyes and looked at Teeny. Nothings happened with Josie Sheehan.
Yet. Teenys frown deepened. When his dark brow crumpled it made the old football scars look all the more menacing. Lets keep it real, Rick. I saw the way you looked at each other. /Damn./ Teeny set his cup down into its fancy saucer, which was perched on a white wicker table. The eighty-year old Spode china had come with the place, along with the wicker table and the rockers they sat on and everything else the eye could see. When Rick purchased Samhain Ranch from a real estate investor a year ago, he bought a piece of Sonoma Valley historythree thousand acres of vineyard with its own manager, sixteen rooms full of antiques, vast gardens, a state-of-the-art horse stable, and a live-in family that had been running the Victorian-era ranch house and keeping the grounds for four generations. His Pacific Heights house was fine for when he was in the city. But in the last year, Rick had come to see the ranch as home.
What Im asking is, are you chucking the plan? Teeny turned toward Rick and braced his elbows on his knees. Because if you are, well need to expand the background searchmove further into her family and her friends and her job. All the old boyfriends, too, and thats a healthy list. Well have to go deeper into her financials, as well. I want to be absolutely sure theres no connection to our man. You know Bennett Cummings is a sly muthafucka.
Rick blew out a puff of air. /Right. The plan/. It was nearly seven years ago that he made a pledge to himself, and hed stuck to it. Since the morning he woke up in agony and heard the news about what hed done to Margot Cummings, he hadnt let a woman anywhere near him. No dating.
No flirting. No nothing. What was the point? Hed done enough damage to the female species to last several lifetimes.
His last hurrah was the accident. Hed smoked a joint, snorted some coke, and thrown back a few Sam Adamses, just in time to take his motorcycle for a spin in the dark and the rain. Hed convinced Margot to come along.
He hadnt seen her since college, but, as he knew well, she was good-looking and a good lay. Back then, those were his only requirements.
He took the turn too fast, skidding into a guardrail. He died on the operating tablesoared over his own twisted body and looked down upon the scene in awe. Then he woke up. Alive. On fire with pain. Bennett Cummings was at his bedside, telling Rick what hed done to Margot.
Cummings leaned close to Ricks face and whispered, /Some day, you will pay for my daughters life with your own./ After seven years in a coma, Margot died. Rick had traveled to Rhode Island for her funeral two weeks ago. It was the right thing to do.
Bennett Cummings approached him at the service. Its time to collect, was all he said. Then he walked away.
Teeny cleared his throat. Rick looked up, noting the concern on his friends face. He knew Teeny had a legitimate pointwhy now? Why Josephine Sheehan? What in the hell was he doing?
There was no way he could tell Teeny the truththe way the energy had crackled through him the instant he saw Josie, how his heart sat up at attention when he first heard her laugh. Teeny was sensitive, but every guy had his limits.
I like her, Rick answered matter-of-factly. It feels different somehow with Josie, very strong, but good. Almost wholesome. I know that might sound ridiculous, but its the truth.
Teeny blinked, his lips parting.
I dont want to play her, Teen, I just want to get to know her.
Teeny seemed to recover from the shock. So youre chucking the plan?
Yeah.
Teeny nodded. With some difficulty, he pushed himself to his feet. He let out a deep groan and shifted his weight gingerly.
The media had once proclaimed it was a miracle that Syracuse University cornerback Timothy Worrell was up and walking six months after his injury. Rick knew better. Hed been there to see Teeny fight for every minuscule success, every bend of his knee, every raise of his shoulder.
They never gave up on each other in the eighteen months they spent in rehab. They saved each others lives.
Im hitting the barn. You coming?
Rick had converted half of the cavernous old barn into a state-of-the-art fitness facility, complete with a steam room and Jacuzzi. In addition to being his personal assistant, security chief, and best friend, Timothy Worrell was his official ass-kicker. Rick wasnt up and walking because of a miracle, either. Like Teeny, his body was a testament to grueling rehab, orthopedic surgical skill, and cutting-edge plastics and metals. And all of it required daily upkeep. Be there soon.
Teeny took a few steps across the wooden porch floor, then turned, laughing. His deep guffaw silenced the crickets, and his huge white smile lit up the twilight. /Wholesome?/ Damn, Rick. I cant believe you just said that. If it had been anybody else Id say they were full of shit. Teeny winked before he limped off.
Maybe he was right, Rick thought. He could be fooling himself. But why?
There was no reason. Hed been perfectly comfortable tucked away in his private world before Josie and her dog strolled into the store and zapped him. The way all that energy sizzled between them was bizarre, but not unwelcome. What was the word for that kind of reaction? Rick wondered. Smitten? All he knew was that after years of saying no to a string of beautiful, accomplished, and persistent womenof which Gwen Anders was the epitomehed said yes to a cute, funny, and awkwardly honest obituary writer who hadnt exactly been lucky in love herself.
Rick rose from his rocker and took one last look at the dramatic twilight world before himrugged mountains, groves of towering live oak, vineyards as far as the eye could see. Maybe someday hed bring Josie here. She struck him as the kind of person whod appreciate it. /I will not hurt her./ The mantra was only in his head, but it came at him so hard it knocked his breath away. For seven years now, hed been in hiding. Every moment had been about getting his life together, repairing the damage hed done to the world and himself. For seven years, he hadnt dared trust himself with a woman. So why in Gods name did he think he could be trusted with Josephine Sheehan?
When Rick reached down to collect Teenys cup and saucer, the china rattled in his hand. He was trembling.
Josies mother slammed down a wooden spoon and turned away from the stove. Would you please put that dog out in the yard! And for Gods sake, get that underwear away from him!
Josie scrambled from a kitchen chair to catch Genghis before he wore out his welcome. Like he did most Sundays. She lunged, but missed, and the dog was off on another lap from kitchen to dining room to formal living room to family room to hallway. He flew back to the kitchen, ears blown back, delight shining in his little beady brown eyes, Fruit Of The Looms flopping from his jaws.
Josies father shouted from the family room, his voice rising above the Giants game on TV. If that damn dog keeps this up, Ill have to go to work commando!
Ohmigod, Beth said. Not a pleasant visual. Josies sister went back to tossing the salad.
Josie dropped to the floor and closed off access to the dining room.
Genghis skidded to a stop and changed course, his claws flailing on the kitchen tile. Once he regained traction, he was greeted by Josies brother, Donald, who had body-blocked the hallway in preparation for the dogs change of direction.
Got him! Donald laughed as Genghis lay down in defeat. Give it up, dude, he said.
Josie felt a swell of pride as her dog dropped the drool-soaked boxer shorts on command. Maybe Bea had been wrongthose six weeks of dog-training classes had not, in fact, been a complete waste.
Good boy. Donald ruffled Genghiss fur. You really need to get this dog a haircut, Joze, he said, standing up. The Tito Jackson look is so yesterday.
Beth chuckled. And we all know how trendy Josies gotten lately.
I didnt think you noticed, Josie said sarcastically.
Cant you girls spend an afternoon without all the snarky comments, for crying out loud? Josies mother bent down, rattled around in a cupboard, and continued talking, her reprimand muffled by clanking bakeware. I dont think youre any better then you were as teenagers. Anyway, Josephine is looking stunning lately!
Beth rolled her eyes. Mom, did you want me to put the feta cheese on top of the salad or put it in a separate bowl on the table?
Josies mother straightened, turned, and stared at her youngest child in disbelief. Your father has detested feta cheese all his life. Trust me when I tell you he hasnt changed his opinion and never will, not about feta, or politics, or the church, or sex, or anything else in this mortal coil. She picked up the wooden spoon and waved it around. Men dont change. Mark my words.
Josie caught her sisters eye as she pushed herself up from the floor.
You know its bad when she breaks out the Shakespeare, she whispered to Beth.
I heard that. Im not deaf. Ann Sheehan put the lid on the potatoes and leaned up against the kitchen counter, crossing her arms over her chest.
She was still beautiful at sixty-three, Josie thought. The red in her hair had been washed out by silver, but it created a lovely frame for her smooth skin and gray eyes.
Everything okay, Mom? Josie walked to her mother and rubbed her upper arm. Is everything all right with you and Dad?
I think Ill take Genghis for a walk. Donald grabbed the leash off the hook and snapped it to Genghiss collar.
Were eating in twenty minutes! Josies mother called after Donald, then raked a hand through her hair with a sigh. I hate the way you girls snap at each other. After thirty years, you think you could move on.
Josie patted her moms shoulder. Sorry. But everything else is okay?
Her mother sighed. Im fine, Josie. Your father and I are fine. Perfectly fine. Everythings fine.
Thank God theres one thing I can always count on to stay the same. Beth made this pronouncement as she walked out to place the wooden salad bowl in the center of the dining room table, then continued her thought when she returned. It seems like everyone I know is getting divorced. I mean, its not like I blame them. I think about divorcing Howie at least three times a day.
Beth! Josies mother looked horrified. Does Howie know how you feel?
Beth shrugged, opening the pantry door and finding a small cut-glass serving bowl. Oh, I change my mind by the time I get the kids to bed.
Usually. I dont know… She spooned the feta cheese into the bowl.
Maybe it isnt even about Howie. Maybe its the kids. Or maybe its just me. All I know is sometimes I want to commit hara-kiri after a day of changing diapers and wiping off the kitchen counter. Beth looked up at her sister and mother, offering them a blank stare. Seriously, I must wipe off the kitchen counter seventeen times a day. While cooking breakfast, then cleaning up after, then while preparing a mid-morning snack, then after, and the same process over and over again with lunch, snacks, dinner, snacks…
As if on cue, Howard Fleischek popped his head into the kitchen. Josie was struck by what a sweet, open face her brother-in-law had. He walked over and planted a kiss on Beths cheek.
Anything I can do to help?
Beths head snapped back. Youre supposed to be watching Chloe and Calvin!
Theyre asleep on Grandpas lap.
What? Beth stared at him in shock. Theyre not supposed to nap now!
Theyll be off schedule! They wont go to sleep at bedtime if theyre sleeping now!
Howies face fell and his voice sounded injured. Jesus, Beth. They fell asleep on their grandfathers lap. Its a Norman Rockwell moment, not the Armageddon.
As tears welled in Beths eyes, Ann intervened. Lets go in and relax while the potatoes finish boiling, she told her son-in-law, guiding him out of the kitchen and into the family room. Howie glanced back at his wife, frowning.
Whats with you, Beth? Josie returned to the table and sat down. She watched a wave of confusion wash over her sisters pretty face. Beth was four years younger. She was the Sheehan daughter whod inherited the full monty of their mothers beauty, along with her auburn hair. When they were kids, Josie was always referred to as the cute one, while Beth was such a beautiful girl.
Her sister collapsed into a chair with a groan. I dont know whats wrong with me.
This is all you ever wanted, Josie said to her gently. She stretched out her hand across the tabletop and Beth grabbed it. Youve got it alla great husband, a beautiful house, healthy kids. You belong somewhere, Beth. Youve got a wonderful life. There are a million women who would kill to have what you have.
Beth sniffled.
Besides, if its so horrible, why are you always on me for not being married with kids?
Beth removed her hand from Josies and wiped her eyes. Because youre thirty-five and the only man in your life is a eunuch who eats underwear.
And?
Its time to stop looking and start finding.
Josie laughed. She wanted to say something about Rick but she knew her sister wouldnt appreciate all that had happened with Mrs. Needleman, or the list. A person had to be somewhat whimsical to grasp the importance of those details. Beth wasnt that person. So youre telling me to settle?
Is that what Im hearing?
Beths eyes brightened. Im telling you to get real, Josie. Lloyd was very nice. There was no reason it couldnt have worked out for the two of you.
Josie busted out with a guffaw. Lloyd was a weenie, Beth. Plus, he wasnt the slightest bit interested in me. And he just flat-out hated Genghis.
He wasnt the right man.
Beth rolled her eyes.
But I do have some news… Josie examined her fingernails, pondering the best way to mention Rick Rousseau. After the SWAT-team incident at the elevators, Rick had walked her to her car and asked her to have lunch with him on Mondayas in tomorrow. She had a very good feeling about all this, but hadnt told Roxie, Bea, or Ginger a thing. What could she say? /Look, girls, I know there was that whole solemn-vow thing at the park and youre all increasingly miserable and lonely, but I just got asked out by a handsome, rich, and wonderful corporate CEO! Try not to hate me!/ News? Beth perked right up. As in?another boyfriend kind of news?
Hes not just another boyfriend. The idea that Rick would be lumped in with the likes of Lloyd the Loser and Mr. Chuck E. Cheese made Josie shudder.
So? Beth looked impatient. Whens he moving in?
Josie pursed her lips with annoyance. We have our first date tomorrow.
So hell wait till next week to move in.
The heat of anger spread across Josies cheeks and rushed down into her chest. Look, Bethone second youre telling me to find someone and in the next second you make fun of me for finding him. Youre worn down. I get it. But that doesnt mean you can be a total asshole to me, Howie, or anyone else. You need to get a grip before you really hurt someone.
Beth looked surprised by her older sisters outburst. She stared at her in silence.
Besides, this man is different, Josie said, holding her chin high.
Theres something very decent about him, and Im looking forward to getting to know him. The least you could do is be happy for me.
Beths mouth opened. After a moment she said, Ive never heard you talk about a guy like that. You sound very sure.
I do? Really?
Has he tasted your eggplant Parmesan yet?
Josie sniffed, offended. Why do you ask?
No reason.
Right.
Has he met Genghis?
He has.
Beth frowned. Was this before or after he asked you out?
He happens to like my dog.
Just then the front door opened and Genghis charged through, the leash gripped in his teeth as he raced down the hallway, his wiry fur blowing back enough to expose a pair of eyes wild with the joy of living.
Beth looked from the dog to Josie. You might want to hold on to this new guyhe sounds like one in a million.
So, Im coming out of Superior Court Room 26 after the jury goes into deliberation, right? Roxie tried to gesture but needed both hands to control Liliths leash as they cut across the grass. And the dick brain walks right by me like I dont even exist! I couldnt believe it!
You had no business dating that dirty old bastard in the first place.
Ginger dismissed the mention of Roxies ex-lover with a flip of her wrist. He was old enough to be your father.
Hes an egomaniacal criminal defense lawyer, Bea offered. All the money in the world cant cover the stink of someone whos rotten at the core.
Josie nodded with conviction and touched Roxies arm. No woman should have to put up with that kind of bullshit from a man. Every woman deserves better.
The women stopped walking and stared at Josie.
Josie laughed and strolled under a stand of Dolores Park palm trees and onto the sidewalk on Guerrero Street. She quickened her pace, hoping her friends curiosity would wane. It didnt.
All three women raced to catch up.
What was /that/ all about? Ginger said. Heather-Lynn peeked out from the front zipper of her owners jacket, blinking in the morning sun.
Josie shrugged. Its just something I heard someone say the other day. I thought it was great.
She was right on, whoever she was, Roxie said.
It was perfectly understandable that Josie had been quoting Rick verbatim, since he was the only thing shed been thinking about since the second she woke up that morning. In just six hours, shed be meeting him at Johns Grill downtown. She felt her cheeks flush at the thought.
So how are things with you, Josie? Bea glanced over at her with a hint of smile on her lips. You seem so happy lately. Bright eyed and bushy tailed. Whats up?
Oh, nothing, she said. It must be the meditation.
Youre taking medi/cation/? What are you on? Ginger said, shocked.
I said medi/tation./ Ginger frowned. But you hate meditation. You said it gives you hives.
Ive decided to develop my practice. Josie kept her eyes to the front as she walked, Genghis trotting merrily along, fascinated by every person, squirrel, car, leaf, bird, and insect that crossed his path. Ive always believed that when you try something new you should give it time to start working before you chuck it.
Interesting, Bea said. Which discipline? Calm abiding? Simple mantra?
Empty mind?
Josie swallowed hard, aware of her friends attentive expressions. Empty mind all the way, was her answer. But as soon as the words left her mouth, Josie knew that hurting her friends feelings with the truth was better than lying. Anything was better than lying. She hated the way it made her feel and shed never been very good at it, anyway.
Roxie sighed deeply, apparently absorbed by her own thoughts. But for a guy with an AARP card, he sure has a great ass. /What?/ Ginger was outraged. Roxie! Get a hold of yourself! Let the man go! Hes a scumbag!
I know Im just torturing myself. Roxie shook her head, embarrassed. Its just so hard sometimes.
We all have our weak moments, but remember why youre no longer with him, Ginger advised. The man called you stupid. He called you a pack mule, for Gods sake.
Josie knew that was only part of it. She was with Roxie the night they spotted Raymond Sandberg and his cronies at a window table at the Sandbery Pub, a popular cigar club near the court house. Raymonds back was to the door, and Roxie decided to surprise him. Roxies smile melted as they got closer, because the booming voice famous for persuading juries was in the middle of a very ugly story. /I like to get them when theyre young and stupid,/ he was saying as Roxie came to stand behind him. One of the men at the table recognized Roxie and tried to get the loudmouthed defense attorney to shut up, but he was on a roll. /The girl Im with nowthe reportershes a pack mule. I just keep piling on the bullshit and she keeps coming back for more. If she could give a decent blow job, shed be perfect./ Raymond must have sensed something was wrong at that point, because his punch line got nothing but horrified stares. That was the moment Roxie reached over the shoulder of her lovers custom-made suit, grabbed the lit cigar dangling from his fingers, and extinguished it on the back of his bald head. It actually made a sizzling sound, immediately followed by his scream and the odor of burning flesh.
I hate him, Roxie said, stomping her feet as she walked uphill. So why do I keep thinking about him? Why does seeing him make me crazy like this?
Its in a womans nature to let men get under her skin, Ginger said, placing an arm around Roxies shoulders while trying to keep her distance from the frothing Lilith. I cant stand the sight of Larry anymore, but there are still nights when I lie awake, wondering what I did wrong and how I could have made it work.
Bea hissed in disgust. Larry was banging the boys math tutor, Ginger. In your driveway. What was there to make work?
The four women walked in silence for a moment. Suddenly, Ginger slapped Roxie on the back and held her head high. But who cares? Right? She waved her arm around. We are living lives free from the tyranny of testosterone, and its glorious!
Everyone nodded, but apparently Josies response wasnt enthusiastic enough for Ginger. Am I right, Josie?
Josies eyes got big.
Am I right? It seemed Gingers question wasnt rhetorical.
Absolutely, Josie said, pasting a smile on her face. In fact, Ive gone the entire morning without a man.
They all laughed at that. When they reached the Starbucks a few minutes later and began to go their separate ways, Bea tapped Josie on the shoulder.
The whole morning, huh? she asked, a smile pushing her cheeks up into her eyes.
Josie nodded. Every single minute of it has been testosterone-free.
Bea laughed. Well, then. /Om/ to you, my friend. She placed her palms together and bowed slightly.
Unsure how to respond, Josie clicked her tongue and gave Bea an enthusiastic thumbs-up. Back at ya!
Beas laughter continued as she executed a flawless turn, Martina heeling at her left side, and headed toward her car.