Although, Lil had arrived mid-day, she and Abby hadn’t said more than a few sentences to each other. Lil had claimed fatigue from the short flight and had retreated with Colby to the suite Dominic’s staff had prepared for them.
A set of five rooms, two bedrooms, dressing room, lounging room and bathroom were all perfectly stocked with everything Lil could imagine she or her baby could possibly need. Abby showed her an intercom on the wall and instructed her to use it if she needed anything. A cleaning woman, a nanny, and a stylist were all on location and on call for Lil if she wanted to use any of them that weekend.
“I’ll be fine,” Lil had said.
Abby had searched her face, noted the strain around her eyes and asked, “Are you sure everything is ok, Lil? You know you can tell me anything.”
“I’m just tired.”
Abby had hesitated. “If you’re still worried about the interview, don’t be. No one blamed you for that and you handled it perfectly. Dominic said he was impressed.”
The interview? Wow, that felt like a lifetime ago.If only that were still my greatest concern.
“I said I was tired.” She hadn’t meant to sound as harsh as she had.
Abby looked a bit sad suddenly, which did nothing to improve Lil’s mood. “Of course. Get some rest. Dinner is at six. The Andrades are joining us. I hope you’re feeling better by then.”
Lil turned away from her sister and said angrily, “I won’t embarrass you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Abby sighed, a clear sign that she wanted to say more but wouldn’t. “I’m glad you’re here, Lil.” She closed the door softly behind her as she left.
I don’t know how you could be.
I’m ruining everything-just like I always do.
Colby looked sadly up at her mother.
“Don’t say it, Colby,” Lil said.
With her daughter down for a perfectly timed nap, Lil was able to shower and slip into an oversized white terrycloth robe. She’d scheduled the nanny for six o’clock, but for now Lil felt better having Colby with her.
A clothing rack had arrived after Abby had left; each hanger on it held a more beautiful dress than the last. Gift boxes full of designer shoes, hair accessories and jewelry had accompanied the delivery. Under different circumstances, Lil might have actually enjoyed trying the dresses on, but guilt hung heavy on her mind. There had to be a way she could fix this.
A loud knock on the suite’s outer door made her jump.
Was it Jake?
I’m not ready to see him yet.
She braced herself and opened the door.
Impressively dressed in what Lil guessed was an Armani suit-Abby said it was his favorite designer, Dominic Corisi filled her doorway. He was Jake’s height, and perfectly groomed, but reminded Lil a bit of a restless tiger at a zoo. If it weren’t for his blatant devotion to her sister, Lil would have closed the door instead of pretending to be happy to see him. He had a reputation for being ruthless and the entire world had recently witnessed how he considered himself a bit above the law’s reproach when it came to what he wanted.
He was definitely a man that even Lil wanted to stay on the good side of. This was no high school bully; this man wielded more power than many dynasties could boast.
Why did I think we could ever get away with hacking into the emails of men like this?
“May I come in?” Dominic asked.
Lil looked down at her robe. It covered more than any dress on that rack would, so she nodded and stepped back from the door.
He studied her face for a moment and said, “Abby said you weren’t feeling well.”
Understatement of the year.
Is this where he threatens me because my poor attitude is a dark cloud on a supposedly otherwise happy weekend? Lil moved to stand behind a chair, using it to support her suddenly unsteady legs. “It’s nothing serious.”
Dominic crossed the room to look out the window and spoke while taking in the view. “I love your sister, Lil. I’m going to marry her.”
And you’re here to make sure I don’t mess it up?
Lil swallowed nervously. “I know.”
He turned from the window and frowned. “That makes you a sort of little sister to me. I want you to feel comfortable here.”
His words floored Lil. When she didn’t view him through the lens of her guilt, he looked more uncomfortable than he did threatening. “I do,” she lied softly.
He buried both hands in the pants pockets of his suit; certainly not the mannerism of a man with ill intentions. He continued gruffly, “If anything was ever bothering you, you could tell me and I would move Heaven and Earth to fix it for you. You know that, right? I protect what is mine.”
He’d come to offer her his support? Lil’s eyes filled with tears that she angrily blinked away. This was the Dominic her sister had described to her, the one who was fiercely loyal to those he cared about. Was it possible that he not only loved her sister, but would really consider Lil part of his family? If so, maybe confessing was actually the best course she could take. A man like Dominic would understand breaking the rules to keep someone you care about safe. Lil asked, “Have you ever done anything that felt like the right thing to do at the time, but as soon as it was done, you regretted it and would do anything to undo it?”
Dominic conceded ruefully, “I’m unfortunately familiar with that feeling.”
Lil came out from behind the chair and approached him. “If making things right meant putting someone you cared deeply about at risk, would you? What do you do when none of the options are good ones?”
Dominic straightened, unpocketing his hands and clenching them at his sides. “Is this about Jake?”
Jake was definitely one of the reasons she wanted to turn back the clock and not involve Alethea and Jeremy. Slow tears began to pour down Lil’s cheeks and she sank into one of the chairs. She couldn’t put a voice to the fears that roared within her.
I can handle a broken heart, please, just let the consequences be mine alone.
Don’t let me ruin the happiness my sister has finally found.
Don’t let me have put my friends in danger.
Please, she begged the universe, I’ll mind my business from now on.
I don’t want Abby to raise Colby.
Dominic came to stand beside her chair and patted the back of her bowed head awkwardly. Lil continued to sob softly, trying but not succeeding to muster the strength to tell him everything.
Dominic asked, “Did he sleep with you?”
His question took her off guard and she answered too honestly, “It’s not about that.”
Dominic withdrew his hand and his roar boomed through the room. “I’m going to kill him.”
The door slammed behind him as he stormed out of the suite.
Lil raised her head, sniffed, and gripped the arm of her chair with one hand while wiping the tears off one of her cheeks with her other.
Well, that went well.
Jake had just arrived at the Corisi home for dinner when he saw his friend charging down the hallway toward him, looking like he wanted to hurt someone. Had he heard about the most recent breach to their security?
Dominic grabbed Jake by one suit lapel and hauled him toward him. “I’m going to kill you.”
Normally, Dominic appropriately reserved his fury for those who had perpetrated the offense. Jake knocked his friend’s hand off of him. “Calm down, Dom. They didn’t get anything. I’m careful with what I put in my emails. And I’ve had my team working on it since yesterday. No one is getting back in.”
Dominic looked like he was about to reach for Jake again, but stopped suddenly. “What are you talking about?”
Jake adjusted his rumpled jacket and stalled, “What are you talking about?”
Dominic paced in front of Jake, his hands flexing in a threatening manner at his sides. He growled, “You slept with Lil.”
“Oh, Lil.” Maybe Dominic didn’t know about the breach yet. Normally he would have informed him immediately, but the hacker had targeted Jake’s emails and that made it personal. Jake wanted to catch this rat himself.
“Don’t play dumb. Yes, Lil. I sent you down there to make sure she was safe.”
“I told you not to send me. I said-”
Dominic stopped, stood nose-to-nose with Jake and accused, “Whatever you said, you left out the part where you were going to break one of the fundamental rules of friendship.”
Don’t let your crazy friend lose his company because you’re too busy chasing a skirt?
Jake became impatient with his friend’s melodramatic fixation on something that was none of his business. He spoke calmly, rationally, hoping some of it would rub off on his friend. “I did exactly what you asked me to. I moved her into her new place. Don’t be a hypocrite.”
Dominic ran a hand through his hair with frustration. He leaned in and said, “I still think I have to kill you.”
Jake held his ground, mocking Dominic instead of cowering to him as he supposed some would. They had spent too many years together for Jake to ever fear him. Brute strength rarely won over intelligence. “What did you think would happen when you sent me up there? You knew I liked her.”
Fire flew from his friend’s eyes, but he kept his hands to himself, perhaps sensing that Jake was more than ready to retaliate. He frowned. “I don’t know, I thought you’d take her out a few times. A nice date. Movies maybe. What happened to treating a woman with respect?”
Jake couldn’t contain the laugh Dominic’s comment inspired. “You kidnapped Abby.”
Dom turned away and began pacing again. “That’s different. People expect that from me. I trusted you.”
Jake shrugged and threw angry suggestions at his friend. “Maybe it’s time you stop trusting me. Maybe I can’t be responsible for saving your ass anymore. What if I am just as screwed up as you are?”
Anger left Dominic in a whoosh and a ridiculous smile spread across his face. “You love her,” he said with a smirk.
Jake took a step back and denied it. “No, I don’t.”
Dominic advanced, his smile only growing wider as he counted off his observations on his fingers. “She’s crying. You’re miserable. Maddy is right; this is working.” Dominic folded his arms across his chest benevolently. “I forgive you because I know what it’s like to want a woman so badly that you are willing to risk everything.” His expression turned serious and he said, “You know you have to marry her, though.”
Forget about a shotgun wedding, Dominic would probably use an armed military drone. Jake smiled at the thought. That slip earned an angry glare from Dom and a threat.
Dominic said, “Don’t make me tell Marie.”
Classic Dom-go straight for the big guns. It was a pleasure to take that option away from him.“She already knows.”
Dominic straightened with rage. “You told her? What the hell were you thinking? I’m going to hope that it was because you realized the gravity of what you’ve done and wanted her advice on how to do the right thing.” He looked like he wanted to wrap his hands around Jake’s neck, but controlled himself, satisfying himself with a warning. “In case I’m not being clear enough-plan a wedding or plan a funeral. Your choice.”
Abby stuck her head through the door and called to Dominic. “Dom, the Andrades just pulled in. Are you ready?”
With one final glare, Dominic announced, “Yes, I think Jake and I understand each other now.”
Perfectly, Jake thought.
And, for once, he agreed with Dominic. He shouldn’t have slept with his best friend’s future sister-in-law, but now that he had-marrying her was the only course that made sense. Lil would agree with him, once he explained it to her. For the sake of her child, she needed permanency and security. He could offer her that. He would offer that-as soon as he could get her to talk to him again.
As Lil sat at the outrageously long dining room table, she smoothed the material of the conservative green dress she’d chosen. The crisp lines and modest neckline boosted her confidence. Tonight was not about her and Jake, nor was it about the emotional baggage Lil had packed for the trip – it was about her sister and celebrating her finding love. Green was a peaceful color, one that could blend in and stay out of trouble.
Dominic and Abby were seated at one end of the table, happily absorbed in a private conversation. Dominic’s sister, Nicole and her fiancé, Stephan, were seated next to Abby. Lil spared a moment to envy how Nicole always looked like she belonged on the cover of Vogue.
Lil was surprised to see that Stephan had brought his parents, his aunt and uncle, and if Lil was correct-even one of his cousins and her French husband. Abby had said that she and Dominic had been spending time with the Andrades lately, but Lil hadn’t realized that they had gotten this close.
Dominic’s personal assistant, Mrs. Duhamel, smiled at Lil from directly across the table. Lil tried to return the smile, gave up and looked down at her plate instead. One of the most powerful women in China, billionairess Zhang Yajun, sat at Lil’s left. Normally, Lil would have bombarded her with questions about what her life was like, but tonight Lil was determined to hold her tongue and quietly blend into this collection of some of the world’s richest people.
If you don’t say anything, you can’t say anything wrong.
Jake took the seat to her right and touched her arm to gain her attention. He kept his voice at an intimate volume. “Lil, we need to talk.”
“No, we don’t,” she hissed back in somewhat of a whisper.
Dominic stood and the table fell silent. “Thank you all for coming tonight.” He took a moment to smile at each person at the table then he reached down, took Abby by the hand, and encouraged her to stand beside him. With one arm around her waist, he said, “If anyone had told me a couple months ago that you would all be gathered to celebrate the formal announcement of our engagement, I would have thought they were crazy. But here we are and I am honored to call you friends.”
Approval was expressed in a variety of voices and languages.
Abby clasped her hands in front of her, the only indication that she wasn’t entirely comfortable speaking before the group. “Helping Nicole go through her father’s things, inspired me to take a second look at old photo albums and what little still remains of my own parents things. I found a poem that my mother wrote when we were children. It seemed appropriate to read in honor of how our family has extended in the most wonderful ways.”
She took out a folded and faded piece of paper and started to read:
Real love is not like a pizza
With two slices for some
One for others
And nothing left for the unlucky
Real love is like a fountain
Joyously spilling over
Where there is always more than enough
For those who need it
And it is just as generous
To those who return to it
As to those who never left
Lil’s eyes welled at the wisdom of the mother she still missed, even as rogue thoughts plagued her. How did real love feel toward a little accidental water contamination? That was the question she needed answered.
Dominic hugged Abby to his side and the table was oddly quiet for a moment. Nicole turned and said something softly to her fiancé. Stephan smiled down at her and nodded.
Nicole addressed her brother. “Dom, invite her for tomorrow. I’ll be fine.”
There was a wave of happy gasps from those around her.
Dominic asked, “Are you sure, Nicole?”
His sister considered it for a moment then nodded with a teary smile. “I want the fountain.” Stephan hugged her and whispered something into her ear that made her blush.
Abby leaned down and hugged her future sister-in-law, and then said, “I promise to keep this short so we can eat, but when we make the formal announcement of our engagement tomorrow the house will be full. I wanted to ask something in the privacy of the ones we’re closest to.” She looked around the table and said, “Nicole, Maddy, Zhang, – I’d like for you to be my bridesmaids. You don’t have to answer now, I just wanted to tell you that nothing would mean more to me than having you up there when I marry Dominic. It’s happening in three weeks, so you’d be committing to a bit of a whirlwind wedding, but Dominic assures me it can be done.”
Nicole and Maddy left their seats to hug Abby.
Lil noticed that Zhang’s expression remained carefully polite. She neither accepted nor declined the request.
Abby walked over to where Lil was sitting and asked, “Lil, will you be my maid of honor?”
The room spun behind her and Lil suddenly felt sick. She didn’t know anything about high-class weddings and assuming that type of responsibility sounded like a recipe for disaster. Lil shook her head with uncertainty. “I don’t know.”
Abby’s hurt expression tore at Lil, especially when her sister pleaded, “You’re my sister, Lil. I love you. Say you’ll stand beside me that day.”
I’ve done more than enough damage already. The closer Lil got to her sister and her future brother in law, the more that went wrong. Abby would be better off choosing any of the other women at the table. Panic temporarily overwhelmed her. Lil stood, her chair toppling behind her, and said, “I can’t.”
Giving in to a true moment of cowardice, Lil ran from the stunned expressions on the faces of everyone at the table.
Dominic leaned forward, one hand clenching on the table and the other pointing across the table at Jake. “This is your fault. Fix it,” he ordered.
Jake folded his arms across his chest. “Your family. You fix it.”
Dominic left his spot at the head of the table and strode toward Jake. “It’s going to be your family, too, if you know what is good for you.”
Surging from his seat, Jake met his friend half way. “Or what? What are you going to do, Dominic? Hit me? Try it.”
Abby sprinted toward them, but Mrs. Duhamel stopped her with a hand on one of her arms before she reached them. “They need to settle this themselves, Abby,” she said.
Dominic swung at Jake’s jaw, but Jake avoided the hit and landed one of his own in Dominic’s abdomen. The sound of the breath leaving Dominic was a hiss in an otherwise silent room.
Jake addressed the doubled over Dominic. “I’m tired of pandering to your colossal ego. I don’t work for you and we both know that.”
Dominic growled and flew at Jake, landing a hit that sent Jake back a few feet. “And I’m tired of you talking to me like I wouldn’t have a company without you.”
Rubbing his quickly swelling jaw, Jake shoved Dominic backwards, toppling the serving table beneath his weight. “You wouldn’t.”
The fists flew faster, leaving no time for words. It only slowed only when both men’s faces were swollen and they were holding their sides.
Dominic wiped blood from the corner of his mouth, and actually laughed. “I had no idea you had it in you.”
Jake bent over, hands on his thighs, his breathing a bit labored from pain. “It felt surprisingly good.”
Mrs. Duhamel made a tsk sound with her mouth and said, “Are you boys through, now?”
Dominic looked at the older woman with a bit of chagrin. “You know he had that coming, Marie.”
Marie nodded. “I know.” To Jake, she said, “You did.”
Jake conceded with one nod. “So did he.”
Marie smiled. “No one is questioning that, Jake. But now you two need to make up so our poor Abby can enjoy her engagement party.”
As usual, she was right.
Jake held out a hand. “Truce?”
Dominic shook it but added, “You’re still marrying Lil.”
Abby stepped forward at that. “What did you say, Dom?”
Dominic said, “He heard me.”
Abby clarified her question. “I heard you, too, but why would you say that?”
Dominic returned to his place at the head of the table and said unhappily, “Our plan to get the two of them together worked a bit too well.”
Abby looked quickly at the door her sister had departed through and exclaimed, “That’s why she’s so confused this weekend.”
Nicole added, “Poor thing.”
Dominic placed his napkin decisively on his lap as if doing so would bring an end to the conversation. “Don’t worry, Jake is going to rectify the situation.”
Abby stood behind Dominic’s chair and put a hand on one of his shoulders. “Don’t make things worse, Dom.”
He scowled up at her.
She touched his cheek lightly and his expression softened. She said, “You can’t force Jake. No one wants to marry a man who doesn’t want to marry her.”
Jake returned to his own place at the table and said, “I never said I didn’t want to marry her.”
All eyes turned to him.
Jake shrugged. “Well, I didn’t.”
Stephan’s aunt, Elise, said, “Isn’t it amazing that men and women get together at all?”
Jake continued, “I even asked her to move in with me, but she said no. Now she won’t even talk to me. ”
Abby said, “I’ll go find her.” She wagged a finger at Dominic. “Behave while I’m gone.”
He simply smiled up at her and she hesitated.
Stephan’s mother, Katrine, said, “Go on, Abby. We’ve got this.” She turned to her sister-in-law. “Elise, doesn’t this bring back memories?”
Her husband, Victor, laughed and asked, “Were we this bad?”
Elise threw both hands in the air and joked, “Worse.”
Stephan sighed and said, “Makes me almost wish I had a brother.” When both Dominic and Jake aggressively jumped to their feet, he quickly dissolved the tension by raising his two hands in an amused call for peace. “Almost.”
They sat somewhat reluctantly.
Nicole said, “Zhang left the table, too. Do you think we upset her?”
Katrine said wryly, “I don’t know what she could have seen that would make a sane person reconsider having dinner with us.”
Nicole smiled and laid her hand on her fiancé’s. “At least we know the wedding won’t be boring.”
Dominic looked across the table at Jake and asked, “Best man?”
Jake dabbed a napkin into his glass of water and pressed it to a cut on his cheek. “Absolutely.”
Lil slipped out a side door and onto a balcony that overlooked one of the main gardens. To her surprise, it was already occupied. “I’m sorry,” she said hastily. “I just couldn’t stay in there a moment more.”
“Nor could I,” Zhang answered.
Lil moved to leave and Zhang said, “Your sister is a wonderful woman. I now proudly count her as one of my friends.”
Lil heard something in the woman’s voice that gave her pause. She turned and walked back to where Zhang was seated on a bench. “But you don’t want to be in her bridal party.”
“Precisely.” Zhang motioned for Lil to join her. “Is there a customary way to decline the honor without either side losing face?”
Lil sat on the bench beside her. “If you hear of one, tell me. I don’t want to be in it either.”
A look of surprise crossed over the woman’s face, just a brief flash before she regained her composure. “That’s surprising.”
Lil shook her head sadly. “Not really. If Abby is smart she’ll choose someone better suited. I’m a walking disaster.”
“That’s not the way Abby described you.”
“Really?” Lil heard the hope in her voice and was somewhat embarrassed by it.
Zhang’s tone warmed. “Abby and I have spoken about you on several occasions. She said you were born with your mother’s spirit-quite the warrior soul. She admires your strength.”
“I didn’t know there was a thing about me that she approved of,” Lil said, surprised and moved by Zhang’s words.
Zhang didn’t let Lil’s side comment slide by without rebuttal.“Then you don’t know your sister very well. She also envies your circle of friends. She said you collect people who would do anything for you.”
“I’ve always been very lucky with that.”
“Friendship is not a result of luck, it’s a testament to our character. You inspire loyalty in your friends because you’ve earned it.”
“I don’t know how.”
Zhang considered her and said, “An eagle will never swim as well as a dolphin. The eagle’s potential will only be realized when it decides to soar instead of dive.”
Lil cocked her head thoughtfully. “You think I’m trying to be Abby?”
“You tell me.”
Lil thought about how she’d always wished she were more like Abby. How, even at their parents’ funeral, Abby had seemed able to make better decisions. She hadn’t cried too long at the caskets, hadn’t refused to meet relatives who had flown in from around the country and definitely hadn’t thrown a bowl of candies at someone who had dared to try to console her.
No, right from the start Abby had been the better person.
Or, at the very least, the less controversial one.
Oh, my God, I’ve been trying to be Abby.
And hating her because I couldn’t be.
“Did Abby really say I was like my mother?”
Zhang smiled. “She did. Did you know that your mother was arrested for participating in a war protest?”
Lil’s jaw dropped open. “No. I’ve never heard that story.”
“Apparently your mother’s fighting heart got her into a few tricky situations-some even involving the law.”
That’s not possible.
“I don’t remember my mother being anything but warm and loving.”
“Your sister has been going through some of your parents’ old papers and was equally surprised by some of what she found. I’m sure she would love to show you the newspaper clippings if you were interested.”
“I am. I can’t believe my mother was ever arrested. She was so…perfect.”
Zhang gave a rueful smile. “The heart remembers people kindly, but no one is perfect. I’ve heard about some of your adventures and I admire your spirit. You stand up for those you care about. You say what you think, no matter the cost. Those are qualities I respect. You should, too.” The simplicity and power of Zhang’s comment hung in the reflective quiet that followed them.
Ok, so I’ll never be Abby, but if Zhang was right-maybe I don’t have to be.
“I’ve wasted a lot of time second guessing myself,” Lil said, marveling at how comfortable she felt sharing her greatest concern with someone she didn’t know. Or perhaps it was simply because she didn’t know Zhang that she could say what she had tried to conceal from even herself.
Zhang shrugged. “I didn’t get where I am today by never making a mistake.”
Maybe I’ll be a good mother after all and this year will simply be newspaper clipping my kids will laugh about. “Thank you, Zhang. I can’t tell you how much you’ve helped me.”
Zhang nodded, still looking far too solemn.
Her unhappiness was none of Lil’s business.
This was exactly the type of crossroad Lil felt she often made the wrong decision at.
Things would go much smoother if she didn’t get involved.
I’ve never really been the one to take the easy road, maybe it’s time to embrace that about myself.
“Why don’t you want to be in the wedding?” Lil asked.
The same woman who had freely discussed Lil’s personal life did not seem as willing to reveal anything about her own. “I’m not exactly the American wedding type.”
“You don’t want to drink too much while dressed from head-to-toe in mauve taffeta and wake up the next morning wondering why you French kissed your best friend’s brother?”
Zhang didn’t so much as crack a smile.
Tough crowd.
“Something like that,” Zhang said.
“Why do I get the feeling you’ve never done that?”
That did get Zhang to smile.
“I haven’t either.” At Zhang’s raised eyebrow, Lil admitted, “Okay, once…maybe twice.”
Zhang shook her head in amusement.
Lil defended herself with humor. “Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Something about weddings makes me a little nutty.”
The other woman’s smile slipped away. “Weddings make me sad.”
Now, we’re getting somewhere.
“Is that the reason you don’t want to be in Abby’s?”
Zhang didn’t respond for a moment. Instead, she took in the night sky as if no response were anticipated. Finally, she said, “I’m the woman I wanted to become. I have more than I could have ever imagined. I’ve done more than I ever dreamt I could. But I’m alone.”
It was difficult for Lil to imagine that a woman as confident and beautiful as Zhang wouldn’t have a man in her life. The real sadness in her voice hinted at a level of loneliness more profound than a romantic dry spell.
“Don’t you have a family?” Lil asked.
“Yes, of course. My parents often join me in whichever home I am using at the time, but I go to sleep alone. I wake up alone. When I close on a deal and want to celebrate I can call friends who wonder how much money will be enough for me, parents who think it’s time for me to concentrate on finding a husband, or keep the news to myself. I often choose the latter.” Zhang’s intense black eyes revealed a pain Lil was certain the woman had not shared with many. “Your sister tells me that you won’t accept anyone’s help because you want to be independent. Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes it’s not everything you thought it would be.”
Lil thought about Jake. She’d been afraid that she would lose herself if she accepted any help from him but, looking back, Jake had consistently shown her that he valued her interests and her goals. It would have been easy for a man of his wealth to dismiss her desire to finish her degree, but he hadn’t. Another man might have asked to see one of her sketches and buried her beneath a deluge of flattery that would have meant nothing, but Jake hadn’t done that either. He had respected the desire every artist has to learn and improve. Her gut told her that Jake wouldn’t make her choose-she could still be a strong, independent woman and be his.
If only he loved her.
Yes, he wanted her. Yes, he respected her, but what if he had nothing more than that to offer her?
Even if I take my betrayal with me to the grave…is half of Jake better than none?
There were plenty of things Lil had no control over: she couldn’t make Jake love her, she couldn’t undo the past, but she could damn well put her insecurities aside and do the right thing for Abby.
“I’ll make you a deal, Zhang.”
The woman looked at her.
“I’ll find Abby and tell her that I’d love to be her maid of honor if you say yes to being a bridesmaid. You keep me out of trouble at the wedding and I’ll make you laugh.”
Zhang’s expression was difficult to interpret.
“Deal?” Lil asked hopefully.
“Yes,” she said slowly.
Abby stepped out onto the balcony. “Oh, this is where you two disappeared to.”
Zhang stood and said, “Excuse me, but I know the two of you have things you need to discuss.”
Lil touched Zhang’s arm before she left and said, “Thank you.”
Zhang nodded with a smile that reached her eyes and said, “Don’t be afraid to soar, Lil. Find your wings.” Then she exited the balcony.
Abby came to sit beside her sister. At first neither said anything and then they both said,
“I’m sorry,” in union and stopped.
Lil said, “I wish life had a do-over button, Abby. I feel like I have so much to apologize to you for.”
Abby took her sister’s hand in one of hers. “I understand that feeling all too well.”
Lil squeezed her hand. “I blamed you for so many things that were not your fault, Abby.”
Abby put a supportive arm around her. “Oh, don’t worry, some of it was my fault, I’m sure. I wanted to be there for you, Lil, so much so that sometimes I didn’t listen to what you were telling me you needed.”
Lil said, “I’m sorry that I embarrassed you in front of the Andrade family.”
Abby gave her a small smile. “Trust me, your walk out was not the most embarrassing part of the meal.”
Lil shook her head in confusion. “Really? What happened after I left?”
Abby suggested, “Let’s talk about that later. First, I want to apologize for putting you in an awkward position by asking you to be my maid of honor with an audience.”
Lil could not have felt worse than she did. She met her sister’s eyes and hoped the extent of her remorse showed in her expression. “Well, I’m sure you thought, rightfully so, that my answer would be a yes.”
Abby touched her sister’s cheek softly as a mother would touch a child they weren’t sure how to console. “Either way, it was wrong, and I respect your decision. I don’t understand it, but I know that you didn’t say it to hurt me.”
“I’m scared,” Lil blurted.
“Of what, Lil?” Abby asked in surprise.
It was time for honesty, at least, for as much as she could share without endangering her friends. “What if I do something that takes all of this away from you? You’re finally happy. I love seeing you with Dominic, but I feel like the closer I come to you and your wedding – the more potential there is that I could mess something up.”
Abby hugged Lil closer and said, “If my relationship with Dominic is so fragile that it can’t survive a Lil Dartley escapade, then it wasn’t going to last anyway.”
Lil pulled back and searched her sister’s face. “How can you be like that? How can you look the worst case in the eye without being afraid?”
Abby smiled sadly and confessed, “Who said I’m not afraid? I’m flipping terrified half the time and I have been since Mom and Dad died.”
“Really?” That didn’t sound like Abby.
“Lil, I was eighteen when they passed away. I had no idea how to pay bills, keep a house, mother someone.”
The enormity of the responsibility that had fallen onto Abby’s shoulders at an age when she should have been thinking only of herself filled Lil with sudden shame. What could she say to someone who had given up so much and been shown so little respect in return? How do you begin to make up for that? “But you did it.”
“Yes, and I still go to sleep each night wondering if I’ve done any of it well.”
“You have, Abby. You have nothing to regret.”
Unlike me.
“Lil, fear is a nasty little condition that touches everyone’s life at one time or another. Dominic may look all tough on the outside, but he gets scared just like you and I do. He has a box of his father’s papers, one that was sent back to him from the auction Nicole had, and he won’t open it. There could be bonds, deeds, or a personal letter from his father, but he says he doesn’t want to know what’s in it. He says he’s spent too many unhappy years to risk losing what he has now over something in that box of papers. Imagine worrying that whatever is in there could ruin his new relationship with his sister and possibly even what we have. Fear is a disease that no one is immune to.”
Lil had no idea what to say. She sat quietly absorbing her sister’s words.
Abby said, “Jake is no better. I used to think he had it all together, but I’ve watched him try to handle this China situation and he is coming undone over it.”
“The China situation?”
Abby hesitated then said, “I probably shouldn’t even talk to you about it, but the server Dominic was supposed to put online next month has been hacked and corrupted. We could lose everything if the deal goes south. That’s one reason we want to have the wedding early – we don’t know what life will be like a month from now.”
Oh, my God! That brought a whole new meaning to for richer or poorer.
“Abby, I had no idea!”
“No one does. Well, we’re hoping no one does. I’m only telling you this because it might explain why Jake may not be showing you his best right now. He’s under an extreme amount of pressure to help Dominic find a solution and so far nothing has worked.”
So, that explained why he was flying all over the country and paying hush money.
Could Jeremy have found something that could help them?
Abby said, “This weekend doubles as an engagement party and a cover for Dominic to fly in some big named programmers without sending up any red flags. Jake is going to need a friend, Lil, especially at the party tomorrow.”
Ok, now you’ve lost me.
“I don’t understand.”
Abby said, “Dominic is counting on enlisting the help of two of the biggest icons in computer programming history.”
Lil shrugged.
Still nothing.
Abby said with emphasis, “Jake’s parents.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” Even as she voiced the question, Lil thought back to when she’d asked Jake about his parents and how he’d become defensive.
“Dominic told me that Jake has never even admitted that they are his parents. He refuses to talk about them at all.”
I believe that.
“Then how did Dominic get them to come?” When it came to her future brother-in-law the possibilities were endless.
“He told them that Jake wanted them here.”
“Oh, that’s not good.” Jake was not going to be happy with that lie.
“Dom is convinced it will work out.” Abby didn’t look as certain. She gripped Lil’s hand as something occurred to her. “You can’t tell Jake, Lil.”
“I won’t.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Lil gave her sister’s hand a supportive squeeze. “I won’t say a word.”
And she meant it.
Unfortunately, I’m becoming quite good at lying by omission.
Time to change the subject. “Abby, I’ll be your maid of honor.”
With a happy gasp, Abby hugged her long and tight. “I am so happy, Lil.”
Lil hugged her back and wished she could say the same. “I do have a request, though.”
“Oh, oh,” Abby said with an indulgent smile.
“Choose dresses for the wedding party that are smoking hot. I mean eat-your-heart-out-and- wish-you-could-have-a-piece-of-this, but sophisticated,” Lil said.
Abby laughed. “I’ll tell Marie. She is fantastic with stuff like that.”
“You get along with her really well, don’t you?” Lil asked.
Abby said, “I know Dominic has a mother, but Marie is the one he turns to when he needs a mom.”
Lil coughed, “Dominic needs a mom?”
Abby smiled. “Everyone needs someone in their life who loves them unconditionally and will still remind them to watch their manners.”
Lil shook her head in wonder. “Somehow I can’t picture anyone telling Dominic to do that.”
Abby threw a hand up for emphasis and laughed. “Oh, it’s hilarious to see. She puts Jake in his place now and then, too.”
Now that I would like to see.
“Isn’t she just Dominic’s assistant?” Lil asked.
“That’s what she’ll try to tell you, but she’s so much more. She came into their lives about seven years ago. Dominic had just taken over the Andrade’s family company and was in a huge fight with his sister. Jake disagreed with how Dom was handling the situation to the point where he had threatened to pull out of the company. From what I understand, Marie witnessed one of those escalating arguments and told them that she was mortified by their behavior. Dominic does the funniest impression of Marie-you’ll have to ask to hear it one day. Stop bickering this instant. You sound like two young schoolgirls. Jake, can’t you see that Dominic is hurt over what is happening with his sister? Support him a little. And, Dominic, you apologize right now for threatening to kill Jake. And watch your language. In my day, men didn’t use profanity in front of women so I’d appreciate it if you both refrained from being quite so graphic in the future. Dom told me that when they both stopped laughing they actually did as she suggested. He and Jake were friends since college, but Marie made them a family.”
Wow.
“What about Dominic’s mother? Rosella?” It had to be hard for her to watch another woman assume her role in her child’s life. Lil couldn’t imagine how she would feel if something like that ever happened with her and Colby. Just the idea of it was heartbreaking.
Abby said, “Dominic has seen her several times. He loves her, but it’s still strained. Maybe it always will be. She hurt her children by leaving them. Hurt like that doesn’t just go away.”
“Was that who Nicole was referring to when she said that someone could come tomorrow?” Ah, it made sense now.
“Yes, and that was a huge step for her. Outside of one quick meeting, Nicole has refused to see her.”
“I can’t really blame her. She thought her mother was dead.” Lil found it difficult to find any sympathy for a woman who had deserted her children and faked her own death to protect herself.
Abby said, “We’re only on this planet for so long, Lil. Life is too short and too precious to nurture old injuries. Sometimes it’s better to just let it go so you can heal.”
Oh, really? This claim needed to be tested.
“That means you’ve completely forgiven me for totaling your first car?”
A slight red filled Abby’s cheeks. “The one I had finally paid off and could have driven for free for years if you hadn’t taken it for a joyride before you had your driver’s license?”
Perhaps that had been the wrong injury to resurrect. “When you say it like that, it does sound awful.”
Abby patted one of Lil’s shoulders in mock support. “I’ve forgiven you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy watching Colby put you through your paces.”
“That hurts,” Lil laughed.
“The truth often does,” Abby joked back.
Lil sobered and asked, “We’re okay, right, Abby?”
Abby hugged her sister one last time and used a line that she’d started saying when she’d taken over the household and had continued to sprinkle into many of their disagreements over the years. “Always better together.”
Tears welled and spilled down Lil’s cheeks. Oh, how she’d mocked Abby over the years for voicing that mantra whenever things had gotten dicey between them. Today, she finally heard something in those words that she’d thought Abby had never said. It made her feel both ashamed of how she’d taken her sister for granted and grateful that somehow Abby had loved her through it all.
For the first time, Lil repeated the words in agreement, “Always better together.”
Her normally composed sister hugged her tighter and burst into tears.
Happy tears.
Cleansing tears.
“About that car,” Lil added to lighten the mood.
Abby pulled back slightly and smiled even as she wiped her wet cheeks. “Still going to enjoy your pain.”
“I love you, too, Abby.” Lil meant to say the words with some sarcasm, but they came out as a heartfelt declaration.
Abby’s smile widened and she stood, offering a hand to her sister. “I know, Lil. Now, let’s go pick out which dress you’re going to wear for the big party tomorrow night. We’ll see if we have the same definition of smoking hot.”
Later that night Lil was choosing a book to read to Colby. She picked up and dismissed each from the selection she had packed. Finally, she settled Colby onto her lap with only a bottle and said, “From now on we’re going to read alphabet books instead of this junk. None of these books prepare you for real life. It’s never as easy as having the right sized foot, men do not fall in love with you because they hear you sing one song, and if seven men ever ask you to move in with them-I want you to say no.”
Colby was more interested in her evening meal than her mother’s impromptu life lesson.
“All sound advice,” Jake said from behind her.
Lil whipped around in her seat, hearing a slight protest from Colby before she settled back with her bottle again. “What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk.”
“This is my private suite. You can’t just come in here.”
“Do you want me to go out and knock again? You didn’t answer last time.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.” Then she thought about it. “Wait, I’m not sorry. If no one answers, you don’t just walk in.”
There was a bit too much I do as I please look in his eyes for her comfort. “You had the opportunity to talk to me downstairs.”
“Another man would take the hint.”
“I’m tired of playing games, Lil. It’s time for us to be honest.”
Honest.
Maybe he was right. Maybe the only way to get past this was for her to tell him everything. He wasn’t a vindictive man. Once she explained to him that Alethea and Jeremy had only been trying to find out if Abby was safe-he’d understand.
And there was a good chance that Jeremy had discovered something useful.
Abby would likely never forgive her if she went that extra step and told Jake that Dominic had invited his parents, but didn’t he deserve to know? After all, hadn’t Jake spent the last few weeks trying to save Dominic? He didn’t deserve to be broadsided like that.
Honesty, here I come.
“Yes, it is,” she said. “And I have something I need to tell you…” As he stepped away from the doorway and into the room Lil noticed that one of his eyes was blackened as if it had been punched. He crouched beside her chair and she touched a bruise on his jaw. “What happened to your face?”
“Dominic didn’t like the truth.”
Instant outrage filled Lil. “He beat you up?”
Oddly, Jake looked pleased with himself. “I’d call it more of a tie.”
“What were you fighting about?”
There was always a chance it wasn’t about her, but she was beginning to think that telling the truth might not be the best idea. So far honesty looked painful.
“A difference of opinion…” he said.
“About?”
“Does it matter?”
“It might.”
Jake pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “Dom and I have been friends since college. We built Corisi Enterprises from nothing. I have never minded that he wanted to be the face of the company. However, sometimes he forgets that I’ve invested as much into it as he has.”
“And you punched him to remind him?”
“He swung first.” Jake’s expression became more intimate. “It seems that someone told him we slept together.”
Lil blushed straight down to the roots of her hair. “Yeah, about that…”
He smiled and traced her bottom lip with a finger. “You’re not a very good secret keeper.”
Oh, you’d be surprised.
“Jake…”
He put a hand on either side of her chair and said, “It doesn’t matter. He would have found out eventually, anyway. And it doesn’t change how I feel. I intend to marry you, Lillian Dartley.”
The room spun.
Breathe.
Lil looked down at her daughter and said, “Colby, men say that to get what they want.”
Jake took Lil’s chin in his hand and lifted her face so she had to meet his eyes. “Boys do that, Lil, not men.”
He took her lips gently with his in a kiss like none she’d ever experienced. It felt like-a promise.
She pulled back and stood, forcing him to step back. “Colby is tired.”
“I’ll wait.”
A wave of emotions shook her. He’d said the marriage word again, but no mention of love. Had Dominic told him to marry her? She was sure she didn’t want to know the answer to that question.
“I’m tired,” she said.
Although he seemed to have more to say, Jake nodded, kissed the top of Colby’s head softly and stepped back. Lil’s heart swelled in her chest. If it looked like love and acted like love-it could be love, couldn’t it?
“We’ll continue this conversation tomorrow.” He walked halfway to the door and turned. “What did you want to tell me, Lil? You never said.”
Absolutely nothing came to mind.
Lil shrugged awkwardly. “I don’t remember.”
And, sadly, for just the time it took for him to leave the room fear kept her mind blank.
Reality returned with the click of the door closing behind him.
Colby pinched her mother’s chin. Lil looked down and smiled at her impudence. “Really? You think you would have told him? I can’t wait until you’re in love with someone. You’ll see that it’s not that easy.”