Hari drove to the farm in the jeep Colonel Edwards had lent her. She was a good driver even though she’d been shown only the most fundamentals of handling the gears and steering. By the time she reached Carmarthen, she was well used to the vehicle.
She saw Michael’s large shape standing in the sunlight at the gate. He swung it open for her as she neared the farm. She pulled on the handbrake and stared at him for a moment and an unaccountable flutter stirred her heart.
‘Meryl’s still in school.’ He took her hand and helped her down. ‘Jessie is having a doze though she always denies it, says she’s “just resting her eyes”.’ He was still holding her hand.
‘Let’s walk,’ she said, and he nodded, slipping her hand through his arm. He felt solid, masculine, he smelt of grass and sunshine and an unfamiliar sensation tingled inside her.
‘Tell me about yourself.’ She looked up at him; it was a long way to look as he must have been at least six foot four she decided.
He smiled, his teeth were clean, straight and even—all in all he was too good to be true.
‘Meryl said you are half German.’
‘I was born in Germany,’ he said, ‘lived there until I was ten.’ He paused. ‘Then I came here to live with Jessie to help on the farm.’ He didn’t seem inclined to divulge anything more and Hari was too polite to push any more personal questions at him.
‘How’s Meryl?’
‘She’s all right. I took hold of George Dixon one day after school and shook him till his teeth rattled. I don’t think he’ll touch her again.’ He glanced at her. ‘Mrs Dixon is another matter, she’s a bad enemy to have.’
Hari wondered if the authorities knew of his German ancestry, if not Mrs Dixon could be a really bad enemy.
They stopped on the top of a hill, breathless and still linked together. The sky was large above them, the soft clouds floating across the horizon like a granddad puffing on his pipe. Hari turned to look up at Michael; at the same time he bent his head and his lips were on hers. Hari drew away startled.
‘Sorry,’ Michael said, holding up his hands, ‘you look so beautiful with your face all shiny from the walk and your lovely hair like golden, red-touched clouds drifting around your perfect neck.’
Hari felt foolish yet touched, and suddenly very happy. They stared at each other for a long time and then Hari boldly held out her arms. ‘No harm in a hug, is there?’
When he was close, she could feel his arousal and suddenly her lower stomach was full of heat. She’d never felt like this before; she wanted Michael, she wanted his body but she wanted his soul as well. She drew away abruptly, this was all too sudden, too dangerous.
Aunt Jessie was awake, very much so when Hari followed Michael into the heat of the farmhouse kitchen. The tantalizing smell of roasting meat made her realize she was hungry. All her senses were alert, on guard so to speak, she thought wryly. Aunt Jessie looked at them suspiciously.
‘When did you arrive, Hari?’ She was almost stern.
‘Not long ago.’ Hari didn’t understand why she lied. Yes she did—Aunt Jessie wouldn’t approve of a dalliance between her and Michael. Only it wouldn’t be a dalliance, it would be much, much more than that. It was impossible.
Michael went out to do his work and Hari sat uncomfortably in the kitchen watching Jessie peel vegetables. ‘Can I help?’ she asked hesitantly. Jessie shook her head.
‘No. Thanks. I’m used to doing things my own way.’ She glanced at Hari’s white hands and, unaccountably, Hari felt ashamed they were not calloused or stained yellow as Kate’s were.
‘I’m working on communications,’ she said and it sounded like an excuse though why she needed to excuse herself to anyone, least of all Jessie, defeated her. It was a relief when Meryl came bounding into the house, her shoes clattering on the wooden floor of the hall heralding her arrival as she pushed open the door and flung herself into Hari’s arms.
‘You’ve got a car!’ she said, hugging Hari frantically. ‘I didn’t know you learned to drive.’
‘I’m a quick learner.’ Hari kissed her sister’s soft cheek. ‘How’s that horrible Georgie Porgie treating you now Michael’s had a word?’
‘You’ve seen Michael?’ Meryl’s tone was guarded.
‘Briefly. When I arrived he opened the gate for me then he went off to do some work on the farm.’
Meryl relaxed. ‘Mending fences and such I suppose.’ Meryl sounded knowing though she had no idea what he was doing.
‘Go find him, Meryl love,’ Jessie said. ‘Tell him dinner will be in half an hour, make sure he washes his hands—look out for him as you always do.’ She glanced at Hari. ‘Your sister is so good with Michael, keeps him in his place she does.’ Her tone implied that Hari might be well advised to do the same.
The silence lengthened in the kitchen and then Jessie took a cloth out of a drawer and spread it like a billowing sail over the table.
‘She thinks he’s the sun, the moon and the stars.’ She looked Hari in the eye. ‘We must try not to upset her, the poor child’s had enough upset in her life to last for a very long time.’
Hari was being warned off Michael and she knew it.
‘But Meryl is only fourteen,’ she said, ‘she’ll have crushes many times before she finds the real one.’
Jessie sniffed. ‘She’s nearer fifteen now—keep up girl. And “crushes”, is that what they call it now? Well, let me tell you, Meryl is growing up fast, anyone would in this awful war. And remember, Michael is not yet eighteen, about the same age as you are but not that much older than your sister.’
Hari was silent, digesting what Jessie was saying to her. Jessie was implying that love between Meryl and Michael was not as impossible as it seemed. And yet Hari had been in Michael’s arms, felt the heat of his body heat her own. It wasn’t just lust, she knew it wasn’t.
‘What’s really wrong, Jessie?’ Directness was important.
‘I don’t want silly girls disturbing my Michael. He’s safe here on the farm with me. And with Meryl,’ she added.
‘How could I be a danger to him?’
‘I don’t want him leaving the farm, going into Swansea. He’d be noticed there, some busybody would pick up on his accent.’ She stopped abruptly.
‘Jessie, the authorities don’t know Michael is German—is that it?’
‘Just mind your own business Miss Jones, go home and leave us in peace. You know Meryl is safe down here with me, just go away, forget Michael. He’s not for you—do you understand?’ Jessie’s tone was fierce. Hari faced her.
‘That’s not for you to decide, is it?’
‘So you do have a fancy for him then?’ It was a direct challenge.
‘I don’t know what I feel, I hardly know Michael. You’re making a fuss about nothing.’
‘Am I?’ Jessie didn’t look at her. ‘Well, that’s all right then, isn’t it?’
Later, dusk was closing in over the fields when Hari walked with Meryl at her side towards the jeep. Hari hugged her, realizing Jessie was right, Meryl was filling out, growing up.
‘Bye, little sis. Be good, be careful… be safe.’ She climbed in the jeep and drove away. In the mirror she could see Meryl’s face was just a pale unfamiliar blur in the growing darkness. Suddenly she was painfully, very painfully sad.