‘Where are they?’ Hari sat next to Kate on the sofa in her little parlour and drank the endless cups of tea Hilda insisted on making for them. When she brought in the tray yet again, she was dressed to go out.
‘I’m taking Teddy for a walk. I won’t be long.’ She dressed the little boy and winked at Hari. ‘I might get myself a little drink when I’m out, not much mind, just enough to warm my belly.’
When the door closed behind Hilda and the baby, Hari touched Kate’s arm. ‘I haven’t heard a word from any of them. I’m so worried, Kate.’
‘Have you heard anything on that machine of yours in the office, anything about escaped Germans?’
Hari shook her head. ‘That’s a thought. Meryl knows enough to get a radio signal through to me if she can only find the right equipment. Perhaps they’re both in France looking for a resistance group. I’ve got to hope, Kate, I’ve got to have hope.’
‘What’s this about a resistance group?’ Kate sounded bewildered.
‘Some of the French are fighting the Germans, others of course have given in, collaborated.’
Hari swallowed hard. ‘I suppose the worst thing is my sister and Michael could both be dead.’ Her voice was flat, heavy. An unbearable pain filled her, a physical pain like she had never experienced before. ‘How could I live without them?’
‘You’d have no choice.’ Kate’s voice was suddenly filled with tears, ‘you just find a way to go on, you have to.’
‘I’m sorry, Kate,’ Hari said at once, ‘of course you do, you’ve lost your Eddie, I know the pain must haunt you day and night.’
Suddenly she was weary. All Hari wanted to do was lie down and sleep. ‘I’d better get back,’ she said, ‘it’s getting dark.’
Kate went to the window as if she could see outside. ‘Hilda’s keeping the baby out a long time, she hates the dark, especially these days when there’s no street lights and windows are all blacked out.’
Hari saw the irony of her words, to Kate everything was blacked out. ‘Look, shall I go and find them?’
‘Stay a bit and talk to me,’ Kate said. ‘Talk about anything, I just don’t want to be on my own. If they don’t come back in, say an hour, go and look. Hilda might have taken little Teddy to Maggie, you know the good Catholic lady who lives near the Lamb and Flag?’
‘That’s likely.’ Hari’s voice was deliberately cheerful. ‘Hilda loves to show the baby off.’ She smiled, though Kate couldn’t see her. ‘She’ll probably persuade Maggie to fetch them both a bottle of stout from the pub.’
‘Hilda says he’s the spit of Eddie. I feel the boy’s face sometimes, trying to see through my fingers.’ She shrugged. ‘But at least I can tell he’s strong and sound with good lungs that I can hear well enough when he’s screaming for attention.’
‘And what about Stephen—is he good with Teddy?’ Hari’s conversation was banal and she knew it but she was desperately trying not to talk about her own worries.
‘Good enough, but he wants a child of his own so badly.’ She put her hands across her belly. ‘I hope to the Holy Mother I can carry this baby safely.’
‘Oh Kate, you’re expecting and me going on about my worries!’ Hari put her arm around Kate’s shoulder. ‘If even an explosion couldn’t shift Teddy you must be born to be a mother, of course you and the baby will be fine. Not sure I’m born to be a mother though,’ she finished dryly.
Kate forced a smile. ‘Go and get us a drink, Hari.’ Her voice ached with tears. ‘Pour some brandy for us both, give us both a lift, we need it to live through this hellish war.’
The time passed slowly. Hari tried not to think about Michael or her sister, out there running, hiding or injured in a field somewhere. She kept up a flow of chatter until there was the sound of the door opening.
Kate stood up, her blind eyes looking across the room. ‘Thank God! They’re home.’
It wasn’t Hilda and the baby who came into the parlour but Stephen, his eyes dark-ringed, his scars standing out sharp against his pallor.
‘There’s been an explosion,’ he said. ‘I tried to help but when the firemen came, and the ARP, they sent me home, said I looked as if I’d given enough to the war effort.’
‘Where was the explosion?’ Kate’s voice was icy calm.
‘Just by the Lamb and Flag, nowhere near us. Don’t worry, there’s no air raid.’ He sagged into a chair. ‘I’m so tired I could sleep on a razor.’
‘Go to bed, love.’ Kate said, ‘I’m going to see Hari to the door.’ Hari watched with an aching heart as Kate walked into the kitchen and felt for her coat on the peg. Hari took her arm.
‘Look, you don’t know that Hilda was over at Maggie’s. Stay with Stephen and I’ll look for Hilda.’
‘I have to look for myself.’ Kate’s answer brooked no argument.
Arm in arm, Hari walked with Kate over the devastation that Swansea had become. Her home town wasn’t alone in this: London, Coventry, Manchester and many other big cities had been blasted to the ground. The German Luftwaffe seemed intent on bombing Britain into submission.
Hari saw at once that the Lamb and Flag was a dark, smouldering ruin with a few flames still shooting up intermittently from the rubble. She heard a faint, anguished cry fading to a ghostly stillness and her blood chilled.
‘For God’s sake Hari, the houses, Maggie’s place, what in the name of all the saints has happened?’
‘Some of the houses are bombed but Maggie’s is still standing.’
‘The Holy Mother be praised.’ Kate sagged against her and Hari swallowed her tears. ‘There, the baby is fine, come on let’s go look for him.’
Maggie’s door was open as it always was but the house was empty. Mary Pryce appeared from next door. ‘Maggie took Hilda and the baby to the Lamb and Flag,’ she said heavily. Wanted a bit o’ a drink she said.’
‘Oh Holy Mother and all the angels no,’ Kate said. Then her head lifted. ‘Hush!’ She stood like a hunting stag listening, sniffing the air. ‘I hear him so I do, I hear my Teddy’s voice.’ She stumbled forward into the smoking, ruined building. Hari followed her and tried to hold her back but Kate pressed on, climbing over huge chunks of debris until she disappeared from sight.
Hari knew that Kate’s sense of hearing, the touch of her finger tips in the darkened ruin of the Lamb and Flag, would be assets that sighted people would not have.
Hari heard Teddy wail and her heart quickened. She moved forward instinctively, waving her hands in front of her face, trying to dispel the smoke and the smell of burning. She touched a soft shoulder and dimly recognized Hilda. There was a rumble beneath her feet, the floor to the cellar must be burnt through, any minute they might crash downwards with the tons of twisted metal and masonry they were stumbling over. Hari dragged Hilda into the street.
Once safely outside, Hilda sagged to the ground. ‘I’m all right—’ she began to cough—‘help Kate for God’s sake.’
But Kate needed no help. She emerged from the smoke and handed Teddy to Hari. I’m going back for Maggie,’ she said and disappeared into the smoke once more. And even though Hari called her until her voice was hoarse there was no reply.