This was the perfect conclusion to the fairy tale that had started in her rented Cinderella gown, Cynthia thought dreamily as Jonathan carried her upstairs. The handsome prince had, if not fallen in love with her, certainly begun to care. Now, overwhelmed by passion, he wanted to make love with her.
Thousands of thoughts floated through her brain, but she couldn’t catch on to any one of them. Which was fine. She just wanted to close her eyes and get lost in the wonder of being held in Jonathan’s strong arms. He was everything she’d ever wanted in a man. Not only was he intelligent and capable, but he didn’t always insist on being right. After she’d explained the problem with Colton and how he had to start to bond with the boy, Jonathan had actually listened. While it would be difficult for him, he was going to let go of the past enough to let his nephew into his life.
“What are you thinking?” Jonathan asked as he stopped and let her slide to her feet.
She opened her eyes and looked around. They were in his bedroom. At least she assumed it was his-she’d never actually been inside this room before. But if the huge four-poster bed and slightly masculine furnishings were anything to go by, this was where Jonathan slept.
Her gaze wandered around the room, then returned to the bed. As she took in the dimensions of the mattress, a few drops of reality trickled down her spine. Bed…mattress…as in sex? She swallowed.
“Cynthia?”
“What? Oh, you wanted to know what I was thinking. Right.” Except she couldn’t remember. She took a step back and clutched the baby monitor to her chest. “Colton was up all morning with the doctor’s visit. He seemed to really enjoy himself there. All the activity, I guess. Anyway, he’ll probably sleep a little longer than usual this afternoon. Maybe for another hour or so.”
She blinked several times as she stared at Jonathan and hoped she didn’t look as stupid as she felt. Were they going to do it? Not that she didn’t want to. While they’d been dancing together she’d felt all warm and melty inside. But dancing was very different from “the act.”
“You’re scared,” he said flatly.
“Scared is a little too strong. I’m nervous.” More nervous than she was willing to let on. Jonathan had hinted that he knew she was inexperienced, which was true, but she doubted he had a clue about how inexperienced. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that he’d closed the door behind them. It was very private. They were completely alone. Was that a good thing?
He smiled. “Do you remember me telling you that I was as dangerous as a wolf and that I could hurt you? You stood up to me, saying that would never happen. Have you changed your mind?”
She swallowed again. “Not exactly. It’s just this is, well, different.”
“Do you want to leave? I won’t pressure you to stay. It’s your decision.”
She hated that. Couldn’t he just seduce her? Except Jonathan was too good a man for that. He wouldn’t kiss her and touch her, making her so weak and aroused that she no longer had possession of her senses. Instead he forced her to act like an adult and accept the consequences of her actions.
Resolutely she walked over to the nightstand and put down the baby monitor. She adjusted the volume button, then turned to face him. “I want this,” she said, her voice shaking only a little.
He smiled and crossed the floor to stand in front of her. “I’m guessing you haven’t been with a man like me before,” he said. “By that I mean someone older and a lot more experienced.”
“Right on the first try.” She was trying for sophisticated but had the bad feeling that she sounded breathy and nervous instead.
“I promise to go slowly. If you don’t like something I’m doing or if you want me to do it differently, just tell me. I want this to be good for you.”
“Okay.”
What she wanted was for it to be over, she thought, but doubted he would want to hear that. Jonathan reached for her. There was a split second of hesitation on his part, as if he was giving her one last chance to change her mind. Cynthia quickly searched her heart and mind. Was this what she wanted? She’d waited twenty-six years before making love with a man. Was this the right time for her?
Then his arms were around her and he was drawing her close to him. As she moved into his embrace and the now familiar warmth of his body surrounded her, she had the sensation of coming home. As if being with this man was her one best and true destiny. She didn’t want anyone else to touch her or kiss her. Only Jonathan. Not just because he was so handsome, but because he was so good on the inside. Because all her life she’d been waiting for someone to feel as right to her as Frank had felt to her mother. And Jonathan was that man.
He brushed her mouth with his. The searing heat surprised her and forced her up onto her toes. She pressed against him so they were touching from shoulder to knee. She needed to be close. She needed to feel her breasts flatten against his chest and his lips exploring hers. She angled her head and parted her mouth, wanting him inside of her.
His hands splayed against her back. She clung to his shoulders. His tongue brushed against the inside of her lower lip, then dipped into her mouth. When he stroked her she gasped and opened wider, needing the contact.
The touch of his tongue was as magical as she remembered. The heat increased until she thought she might be on fire. She could feel flames of desire licking along her arms and legs. Warmth pooled in her breasts, and lower, in her belly.
Conscious thought seemed to flee her brain. She couldn’t think in sentences, only in pictures and impressions. He still wore his suit jacket and she suddenly needed that layer of clothing gone. She slipped her hands under the lapels and pushed it down his arms. He released her long enough to shrug out of the garment.
Then his hands returned to her body, but this time they weren’t still. He stroked her back, moving up and down until he cupped her rear and pulled her against him. She arched into him, her belly flat against him. Her attention focused on that most male part of him. She wanted to know if he was aroused…as he had been the last time.
Pleasure shot through her as she felt a hard ridge nestling against her stomach. He rubbed back and forth, then groaned. As if touching her excited him. Her! She was barely knowledgeable enough to know how to kiss, yet she’d managed to turn him on.
He placed his hands on her waist and urged her forward. She felt him bump into the bed, then he settled onto the mattress and pulled her into the vee of his open legs. She went willingly. His hands moved from her waist to the hem of her sweatshirt. There was a slight tug.
She opened her eyes. Jonathan sat at eye level. Even as she watched him watch her, he drew her shirt up and over her head. Her throat went dry and she had to fight to keep from raising her hands to cover herself. Although she’d had boyfriends before, things had never really progressed much past kissing. Any contact with her breasts had been made through layers of clothing. Certainly no one had been bold enough to simply start undressing her.
Still, some of her nervousness eased when Jonathan stared at her peach lace bra and swallowed. “You’ve got something against plain white cotton?” he asked.
She frowned. “Is that what you prefer?”
“Not at all, but at least then I might have a chance at controlling myself. Although with you, I have my doubts.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the exposed skin of her left breast. “So very pretty,” he murmured.
She’d never thought of her body as anything but functional. Did he really think she was pretty? But before she could ask, he reached behind her and expertly unfastened her bra. No tugging, no fumbling. In fact that man did it better than she did.
And then the scrap of lace and straps was gone and the cool late-afternoon air moved against her breasts. He could see her, she thought in amazement, then clamped her eyes shut. He might be able to see her, but she certainly did not want to see him.
“Kiss me,” he murmured, drawing her against him again.
She did as he requested, trying not to think about her bare breasts. But for the moment he seemed to be ignoring them in favor of her back. His strong, warm hands moved up and down her bare skin. The contact made her shiver, but in a good way. He traced her spine, then slipped around her waistband and up her ribs.
She couldn’t think about the kiss anymore. She could only focus on the feel on his hands moving higher and higher. She stopped breathing. What was it going to feel like? Would she like it when he touched her there. She froze, her lips a scant inch from his. Then his fingers found her curves and he stroked her tight nipples.
A hot, electric shiver raced through her. Every cell in her body turned its attention to her puckered, sensitive nipples that had suddenly become the center of her being. He stroked and teased so lightly, yet everything he did was wonderful.
She continued not to breathe, but now from pleasure rather than panic. She was terrified that if she moved in any way, he would stop.
“Do you like that?” he asked.
She risked opening her eyes and saw that he was looking at her. Without thinking, she glanced down and saw his tanned fingers moving against her pale breasts. Instantly a hot blush flared and she made to cover herself.
“Don’t,” he said softly. “I was wrong. You’re more than pretty, you’re beautiful. I want to look and touch and make you feel everything possible. I want you as hungry for me as I am for you.” He cupped her curves and used his thumbs to continue to tease her nipples. “Do you like it?” he asked again.
“Yes,” she forced out, barely able to speak for all the sensations washing through her. “A lot.”
He chuckled, then ducked his head. Before she knew what he was going to do, he leaned forward and drew her nipple into his mouth. His lips closed around her and he sucked very gently.
Cynthia felt her mouth drop open. She’d read about this of course, but reading and experiencing had little in common. She always thought the idea of a man doing something like that was a little silly and…
His tongue circled her, then flicked over the tight peak. She breathed his name and decided that she really needed to expand her horizons and keep trying new things. This wasn’t silly at all. It was wonderful.
She felt as if her core temperature had increased about ten degrees. Her thighs trembled. Between her legs was a dampness she couldn’t remember having many times before, along with a persistent ache she’d noticed earlier. She felt sort of squirmy and tense, but also languid in a way that made her unconcerned when he moved to her other breast and suckled that nipple.
Slowly she brought her hands up to cup his face. She felt the faint rasp of stubble and the crisp cool ends of his dark hair. She explored the shape of his ears and the feel of the skin at the back of his neck.
When he pushed her away, her first thought was that he’d changed his mind. But before she could panic, he’d dropped to one knee and was unfastening her shoes. When she stepped out of them, he pulled off her socks, then returned to the bed.
His fingers sought the button at the waistband of her jeans. It unfastened as easily as her bra. Next he lowered her zipper. Large, masculine hands pushed down her jeans and panties in one, smooth movement. The next thing she knew, she was standing completely naked in front of him.
There wasn’t time to be nervous, though. Before the first panicky thought could form, she was back in his arms and he was kissing her. He urged her to straddle his thighs and she went willingly, settling her weight on him. The position left her feeling a little vulnerable, especially when one of his hands rested on her bare leg. But the kissing was so good and there was always the hope that he would touch her breasts again, so she really didn’t mind…even as he began to move higher and higher.
Then he was so close to the apex of her thighs that she couldn’t ignore it any longer. Keeping her eyes closed, she dropped her forehead to his shoulder. One hand rubbed up and down her back while the other crept between her blond curls and touched her most secret place.
She’d read about Sleeping Beauty being awakened by a single kiss, but she’d never heard about anyone being changed by a single touch. Until now. She didn’t know if it was good luck on his part or design or what, but his fingers found one tiny spot that seemed to be magic.
At the first moment of contact, she nearly shot to her feet. Every muscle tensed, but only because the sensation was so incredibly wonderful. It was even better than when he’d touched her nipples. She gasped and clung to him, while he laughed softly.
“Got it in one,” he murmured and began to kiss her neck.
“Yeah,” she said, not sure what she was agreeing to, but also not caring.
He continued to touch her there. Gently, so very gently, but with a persistence that made her muscles quiver. She wanted him never to stop. It felt too good. She would have done anything, said anything, just to have him continue.
“I could never be a spy,” she whispered. “If I had any secrets, you would only have to touch me like this to get me to tell them all.”
“Do you have any secrets?” he asked teasingly.
“No. Do you want me to make any up?”
She didn’t hear his answer. Mostly because she wasn’t listening. She couldn’t. Not while he continued to touch her there, moving back and forth on that one spot. Occasionally he drifted away, exploring the rest of her feminine place. Once he dipped his finger inside of her, as if testing the most private part of her.
Does it feel this good for the man, she wondered hazily as he returned to the tiny spot of pleasure and continued to take her on an odyssey of discovery. It had to, but at this point in time, she didn’t really care. She just wanted to keep feeling the delightful tension that made her strain toward him. The fact that she was completely naked, on his lap, having him touch her so intimately was incidental.
Suddenly they were moving. Jonathan picked her up and turned her so she stretched out on the bed. He pulled off his shirt and tie, then his shoes and socks. Last to go were his slacks. He left on his briefs. Her gaze settled on the visible proof of his arousal. Two parts curiosity, one part fear made her shiver. Soon he was going to be inside of her.
“I want you,” Jonathan breathed as he moved over her and began kissing her.
She wrapped her arms around him, drawing him close. As his tongue entered her mouth, his fingers returned to her waiting heat. He settled on that special spot and began to move faster.
Suddenly she couldn’t breathe. Something was happening. The heat increased and her skin felt incredibly sensitive. Jonathan broke their kiss to move down to her breasts. He drew one nipple into his mouth and flicked it with his tongue. The rhythm matched his fingers below. The combination was indescribable. Involuntarily her knees drew back and her hips arched upward. He rubbed lighter and faster, over and over until she felt herself on the verge of either flying away or coming apart.
Then he was kissing her lips again. He dipped into her mouth and retreated. She followed. As she did, his lips closed around her and he gently sucked on her tongue. At the same movement, he increased the pressure between her legs. Tension grew unbearably.
Suddenly she was both flying and falling, caught up in a vortex, she neither understood nor wanted to leave. Every part of her body experienced a pleasure so complete she wondered how she’d survived without it for so long. His hands slowed, their kiss ended and she found herself cradled in his arms.
He didn’t say anything, which was good because she felt a little embarrassed by what had happened. Had she said anything stupid or done it wrong?
“Thank you,” Jonathan said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Not only for being so responsive, but for making it clear what you liked. I wanted to please you.”
She risked a glance. He seemed genuinely happy so she smiled. “You did a really good job.” The words were so inadequate that she had to laugh.
He grinned in return. “A good job, huh? Wow. Talk about praise. I’ll have to get a plaque made.”
Then they were laughing together and suddenly it was all right. Cynthia hugged Jonathan and he hugged her back.
“Thank you,” she said. “I was really nervous and not sure how it was going to go. You made me feel wonderful.”
“I’m glad.”
Their gazes locked. She breathed his name and he kissed her. Slowly…deeply. Surprisingly her passion returned and with it the need to touch him and finally find out what all the fuss was about. She pressed her hands against his back and explored his powerful muscles. He was warm and smooth and felt so good to touch. He returned her caresses, first brushing her side, then teasing her breasts.
When her breathing had increased and she felt the now familiar heat flaring inside of her, he rolled away and opened a drawer on the nightstand. After pulling off his briefs, he removed the protection from its wrapping and slipped it on.
Cynthia rose up on her elbow to watch, but his back was to her and she couldn’t see very much. When he turned toward her, she caught only a brief glimpse of his maleness before he began kissing her again.
This time he knelt between her legs and cupped her face in his hands. His kisses were slow and drugging, leaving her aroused and panting. She felt something probing against her feminine place, then he was filling her.
“I want you,” he breathed against her mouth, his dark gaze finding hers. “I’m not sure I can hold back.”
Ah, cryptic conversation. “Me, either,” she lied, hoping it was the right line.
Jonathan frowned. “I wouldn’t think you’d have the same problem.”
Not knowing how to respond, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him thoroughly. That seemed to be enough of a distraction that he stopped talking.
She felt him continue to enter her. He was big and she stretched to the point of discomfort. Yet even as she wanted to protest, she had to admit she liked the feel of him inside of her. The fullness and pressure felt right, as if this was where he belonged.
He stopped for a second. “You’re really tight.” Then he pushed harder and there was a sharp pain.
She tensed, even as she realized what had happened. Goodbye to her virginity. There wasn’t any fear or regret-only a sense of conviction that she’d made the correct choice. But Jonathan didn’t seem to share her feelings. He’d stopped moving and when she opened her eyes, she found him staring at her.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” he said, something close to panic filling his eyes.
The kissing had worked last time so she tried it again. “I want you,” she told him, echoing his words, then claiming his mouth. At the same time she placed her hands on his rear and pulled him in deeper.
He groaned as he buried himself inside of her. As he withdrew, he pulled back a little. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Please. I want this.”
He swore, then dropped his mouth to hers and claimed her. As his tongue invaded her mouth, the most male part of him invaded her in other ways. They moved together. The back and forth movement was interesting. She felt some of the same tinglings she’d felt earlier, but before she could decide on the possibilities, he was thrusting faster and deeper and she sensed that his time was near.
Then he cried out and stiffened. She held him close and smiled.
Jonathan rolled onto his back and stared unseeingly at the ceiling. His brain didn’t want to process the facts, but he couldn’t avoid them. Cynthia had been a virgin. A virgin! He hadn’t known there were any left. At least not in her age bracket.
“You said you were twenty-six,” he said, his voice accusing.
“I am.”
“But…”
He turned to face her. She was naked and looking a little lost. Damn. Just like a kicked kitten. He didn’t need this trouble in his life and he had exactly no one else to blame. He shifted and held out his arms so that she could cuddle against him. She sighed and a warm puff of air caressed his chest.
“How did this happen?” he asked. “The virgin part.”
“Actually, I was born this way,” she teased.
“Great.” He took a deep breath and told himself to remain calm. Taking her virginity wasn’t the end of the world…even if it felt that way. “I was more interested in how you stayed one.”
“Oh.” She tilted her chin and looked at him. “It was pretty easy. I never wanted to go all the way with any of my boyfriends. I think it was because my mom had such a great relationship with Frank. I saw that and decided I wanted the same. I wasn’t willing to settle on some fumbling in the back of a car with a boy I didn’t care about.”
If she was trying to make him feel better, she wasn’t doing a very good job. “Cynthia, I don’t think-”
She reached up and pressed her fingertips to his lips. “Don’t worry. I’m not expecting roses and a proposal. What I was trying to say is that I wasn’t interested in sex for sex’s sake. I wanted my first time to be with the right person. I respect you, Jonathan. I admire you and I think we’re good friends. That’s why I wanted this.”
He stared at her, taking in her wide hazel-green eyes and her pale skin. She was young and beautiful and could he really believe her?
His first thought was no. His second was what on earth was he going to do now?
Then a sharp cry filled the room. They turned toward the sound and he realized it came from the baby monitor.
Cynthia sat up. “Someone is awake and hungry. I’d better go see about that.”
She collected her clothes and walked out of the room, leaving Jonathan feeling like he’d both escaped and been dismissed. He wasn’t sure which he wanted more.
Now what? Cynthia wondered as she fed the baby. She’d pulled on a robe and socks, and had taken Colton down to the kitchen. As she held the baby she thought that this wasn’t exactly the postromantic moment she’d been thinking about.
“No offense,” she told the infant.
Colton didn’t bother to respond.
A shadow fell across her. She looked up and saw that Jonathan had entered the kitchen. He’d pulled on jeans and a sweater, but his feet were still bare. The sight of his toes was oddly intimate. She noticed that his hair was mussed and he had a catlike contented quality in his eyes.
Because they’d made love, she thought with some pleasure, and had the sudden desire for them to do it again.
“I don’t know what to think,” he said, then folded his arms over his chest. “How do you feel about all this?”
I love you.
The words came from nowhere and for a second, Cynthia was afraid that she’d spoken them aloud. But Jonathan’s steady gaze didn’t alter, so she figured she was safe.
He continued to talk, but she wasn’t listening. Instead she thought about those three words and wondered if they were the truth. Did she love him? Is that what this was about? Love? She searched her heart, probing and questioning until the truth appeared with sudden clarity. She did love Jonathan. That was the reason she’d wanted to make love with him. She’d wanted to bond with him in the age-old way women had since the beginning of time. She wanted him to be a part of her. “…and, frankly, I don’t know what to do with you,” he was saying.
She blinked. “Why do you have to do anything?” She was pleased that her voice sounded so normal. She didn’t want him to know what she was thinking. “Can’t we continue as we were? Or as we are now?” She felt herself blushing at her forwardness, but didn’t look away.
His expression tightened in what she now recognized as desire. “You mean why can’t we be lovers?”
“Exactly. I think you liked it and I know I did.”
He ran his fingers through his hair and turned away. Bracing his arms against the counter, he dropped his head. “You have no idea what you’re saying. This game is beyond you, Cynthia. If you insist on playing, you’re going to get hurt.”
“I don’t think so,” she said, struggling to keep her tone light. “I know what I want. And it’s you.”
He spun to face her. She noticed that he was aroused again. If she wasn’t mistaken, there might even be a faint tremor in his hands.
“Don’t say that,” he growled. “You’re out of your league. I’m too old for you.”
“Nonsense. If you don’t want me, or are afraid, just say so. Don’t hide behind excuses.”
He surprised her by smiling. “You are always fearless.” The smile faded. “This is your last warning. You’re not prepared to do this with me.”
“I’m a grown woman. I know what I want.”
He didn’t look convinced. “Let’s give it a couple of days. You’ll probably find yourself drowning in second thoughts.”
“I won’t change my mind,” she said.
“We’ll see.”