“No,” Cynthia said, vigorously shaking her head. “That’s not possible.”
Jonathan stared at her blandly, as if he’d just informed her about rain in the morning’s forecast. He didn’t look upset or angry. She couldn’t have heard him correctly. That was it. He hadn’t really accused his brother of trying to have him killed.
Jonathan leaned back in the sofa. He shifted so that his ankle rested on his opposite knee. Most of the light in the room came from the reading lamp by her right shoulder which meant that he was in shadow. His new position made it even more difficult for her to clearly see his face.
“It’s more than possible,” he said, his voice low, as if he were tired. “David and I-” He hesitated. “To say we didn’t get along is putting it mildly. David always hated me. I never understood why. He was the favorite, he had every opportunity, but it wasn’t enough. About a year ago I realized that someone was stealing from the company. I had my suspicions but I didn’t think David would be that stupid.”
“I thought he worked for you,” she said, still trying to make sense of what he’d said. “Isn’t the company partially his?”
“It was. Our father left us each ownership of different divisions. However, I had control over the day-today operations. David hated that.”
“But if he stole from the company, he was stealing from himself.”
“David wouldn’t see it that way. He was only concerned about taking what I had. It was months before I figured out how he was doing it, and even longer to get proof. I confronted him at the party last week. I told him he had until morning to put the money back or I would have him arrested. But he didn’t care. He said he was leaving the country and while he was gone, I would have a fatal mishap. Then he would own it all.”
She stared at him. “I can’t believe this.”
“Not every family is like yours. Not everyone is good.”
“I know that,” she said defensively. “I’m not stupid.”
“I think you’re innocent. That’s different from stupid.” He shrugged. “The police found tickets to Rio in David’s possession after he was killed. He’d meant everything he said.”
Cynthia leaned forward. “I don’t understand. How could you be so different? I don’t want to speak ill of your brother, but he sounds like a horrible man. Yet you’re so good.”
“I’ve told you, I’m a bastard. You’d better learn that. As for us being different, we are that. I learned early that I had to work for what I wanted. I don’t think David ever figured that out. He got used to taking what interested him, whether it was a toy, a business or a woman. In the end, he played out of his league and it cost him his life, along with his wife’s.”
She pressed her lips together. If she believed what Jonathan told her-and he had no reason to lie-then the current situation here at the house started to make sense.
“So you’re avoiding Colton because of his father. You’re angry at David and angry at the baby.”
“So much for me being a saint,” he said lightly.
“Oh.” She touched her hand to her chest. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way.”
“Of course not. It’s quite a compliment.”
“Jonathan, no. It’s a perfectly natural reaction.”
He gazed at her steadily. “I’m not angry with Colton, nor am I punishing him. I don’t feel anything for him. Until the woman from child protective services showed up with him at your house a few days ago, I’d never seen the kid. I told you-David and I weren’t close. I hadn’t been to his house in years and I’d never met Colton. I’m not hostile, I’m just not interested.”
His words eased some of the tension inside of her. While she might not know how to handle the rest of Jonathan’s situation, she knew how to deal with people who had never been around babies.
“It’s just a matter of getting used to him,” she said. “Give him a chance. He needs you, Jonathan. And I think you need him. Just try. Spend some time with him. Learn what it’s like to be with him. I think you’ll find you like it. Being a positive part of a child’s life is the greatest joy in the world.”
She didn’t have to clearly see his expression to know that he wasn’t impressed with her argument.
“I don’t share your love of family,” he said flatly. “Most aren’t as perfect as yours.”
“Mine isn’t perfect,” she told him. “If it’s good now, it’s because everyone worked hard to make it that way.” She pressed her lips together and wondered how she could convince him of the importance of making a choice.
“My mother got pregnant when she was fifteen,” she began. “Her parents, my grandparents, were furious. My father ducked out on his responsibilities. He disappeared, never to be heard from again. When my mom turned eighteen, her still angry family threw her out. I was barely three.”
She smiled wryly. “I don’t remember much about that time in my life. My mom had to have been terrified. She had no skills, no support system and she was responsible for a toddler. But we grew up together. We were poor, I guess, but that wasn’t important. My mom loved me and was there for me.”
Warmth filled her along with the memories. “There were so many times she could have given up, but she didn’t. She kept struggling and she kept us together. It was a conscious choice on her part. It’s like when she married Frank. I could have decided that I wanted my mom all to myself and have made his life difficult. But I didn’t. I chose to get to know him. And then I found out he was a wonderful man. I was lucky to have him in my life.”
She shifted until she was sitting on the edge of her seat. “You are such an amazingly giving person, Jonathan. Your generosity has changed dozens of lives. By funding the seed money for new businesses, you give people a chance to make their dreams come true. You have such a big heart already. Can’t you open it enough to let in a little baby boy?”
He sprang to his feet and paced to the fireplace. There, he braced one arm against the mantel. “I don’t know where you get off saying these things. You’re nothing but a Pollyanna. You always see the best in people.”
She couldn’t help laughing. “You say that like it’s a flaw.”
He spun to face her. “Of course it is. People are not good or selfless. They’re selfish bastards and they’ll take you for everything you’ve got if you let them.”
“You want the world to think you’re the big bad wolf, but the truth is, you’re a softy, Jonathan Steele. You don’t fool me for a minute.”
He stared at her. “If you believe that, then you are a fool. Make no mistake-I’m capable of acting exactly like the wolf. I could rip you apart without even trying.”
She shook her head. “Why do you want me to think the worst of you? What are you trying to hide?”
“I’m telling you the truth.” He took a single step toward her. “Don’t challenge me, Cynthia. You can’t win.”
She rose and moved to stand in front of him. “This isn’t meant to be a challenge. What are you afraid of? Why do you have to keep the whole world at bay?”
He tensed at her words. If she hadn’t been watching, she might not have seen the sudden stiffness in his muscles. Somehow she’d reached the heart of the matter.
They were standing so close, she thought suddenly, caught by the fire in his eyes. She knew he was angry with her. There was an energy around him. She supposed she should have been afraid of him-after all he was Jonathan Steele and she knew nothing about him…Except what her heart told her. The instinct she’d always trusted said that he was a good man. A gentle man. That his hard nature was just a mask.
“Get out,” he growled. “Get out before I do something we’ll both regret.”
Instead she took a step closer. “I’m not afraid.”
He reached up and grasped her hair, holding her firmly at the base of her neck. “I can make you afraid. I can make you beg and plead for me to let you go.”
She supposed he was trying to frighten her. But instead of fear, she found herself filled with a kind of heat. She’d only felt it once before and that had been while Jonathan had been kissing her at the ball.
“You can huff and puff all you want,” she said softly. “I’m made of sterner stuff than that.”
“Who the hell are you?” he demanded, but didn’t give her time to answer. Instead he moved forward and, with his free hand, hauled her up against him.
“Run!” he demanded just before his mouth claimed hers. “Run away, little girl.”
But she couldn’t run. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t do anything but accept the fiery passion of his kiss as he claimed her mouth.
There was no delicate dance this time. He didn’t ask or wait for permission. Instead he took what he wanted in a hard, hot embrace that left her shaken and breathless. His mouth moved over hers like a conquering hero claiming his spoils.
Cynthia didn’t respond at first. She waited for the fear that must surely follow such an attack. She gathered herself to push away, to spring back, to do as he said…to run.
But she couldn’t. Not because her body was frozen in place, but because she didn’t want to. She’d been wishing he would kiss her again since the moment he stopped in the ballroom of the Grand Springs Empress Hotel. Even in the hospital, while she’d been recovering, she’d found her thoughts returning again and again to Jonathan’s kiss and the feel of his body pressed against hers. Now that he was doing it again and she could inhale his scent and taste his masculine sweetness, she saw no reason to make him stop.
Despite what he tried to claim, she knew the truth. He was a good man. Honest, caring, and wounded inside. He couldn’t have learned all he had about his brother without it having an impact on him. She ached for his pain. She wanted to heal him. She sensed that was one of the reasons he kissed her. Instinctively he reached out to another person to ease his pain.
Then his tongue brushed against her lower lip and she found that she couldn’t think anymore. She couldn’t do anything but absorb the sensations that crashed through her like the tide against the shore. Wave upon wave of passion made her quiver and question and wonder how this amazing thing could be happening to her.
She put her hands on his shoulders, then slowly parted her mouth. He groaned against her and swept inside, claiming her in a fit of desire that stole her breath. He explored her and teased her, touching, tasting, taking. He took and took and she continued to offer more. Because the more he needed, the more she seemed to have to give him. She strained to get closer, wanting to heal him with her passion.
Being like this with him felt so right. Need burned inside of her. A wanting she’d never experienced before. She knew the logistics of what happened between a man and a woman, but not the details. Suddenly she wanted to know everything, to experience it all in this man’s arms.
His hand released her hair only to move up and down her back. Long, strong fingers learned the curves of her hips and then her rear. He cupped her there and hauled her up against him. Her belly flattened against him and she felt an unfamiliar ridge. Her inexperienced brain took several seconds to figure out what it was. Jonathan was aroused. Just by this relatively innocent kiss. He might find her young and annoying and a Pollyanna, but he still wanted her.
The information filled her with a lightness that made her wonder how she kept from floating away. She, Cynthia Morgan, virgin, had somehow captured this man’s attention. She surged against him, shocking herself when she made her way into his mouth and began to explore him as he’d explored her. Instinctively she arched her hips toward him and moved her pelvis in a rhythm that provided counterpoint to the actions of her tongue.
Jonathan thrust her away and swore. His eyes were bright with fire, his breathing nearly as fast as hers. He still wore a suit from his day at the office. Now he loosened his tie and unfastened the first couple of buttons on his shirt.
“I won’t apologize,” he said, his voice low and challenging.
“Good. Because that would really annoy me.” She had to clear her throat to make her voice sound right.
He stared at her, his gaze intense. Then he reached up and rubbed his thumb against her bottom lip. “I want you.”
His words sent a thrill racing through her. Between her legs, her muscles convulsed and she felt a sudden spurt of wetness on her panties.
“I-I want you, too,” she managed to say, then had to duck her head so he wouldn’t see her blush.
“The hell you do. You don’t know the first thing about being with a man like me.”
“I could learn.”
He groaned and turned his back on her. “You’re out of your league. You can’t win this game.”
“It’s not a game and so far I’m holding my own.” A flash of temper gave her courage. She walked around him until they were facing each other again. “You treat me like a child. Okay, I’m younger than you and I haven’t lived a life similar to yours. Yes, I think the best of people. But I’m not simple and I’m not weak. When I was young, my mom was gone a lot, working. I grew up fast. I was responsible and capable at an age when most kids were still watching Saturday morning cartoons. When my stepfather died, I’m the one who held the family together. I’ve been a mature woman for a long time.”
His gaze turned haunted. “Then why aren’t you afraid of me?”
With that, he walked out of the room, leaving her alone with only the sound of her rapidly fluttering heart.
Cynthia flipped through the pile of bills she’d picked up on her visit to her office. She had a briefcase full of work, including several phone calls to return. It made sense to spend the morning at her office where she could work quickly and efficiently, but around ten-thirty, she found herself getting restless.
Now she walked up the front stairs to Jonathan’s house and told herself that she was acting crazy. Why had she returned here rather than staying at the headquarters of Mother’s Helper? Several answers came to her at once, but she didn’t like any of them. Not the one that said she wanted to be in Jonathan’s house because being there made her feel as if she was closer to him, nor the one that mentioned something about missing Colton and needing to feel the baby’s warm weight in her arms.
“You know better than to bond with a child,” she told herself sternly as she let herself in the front door. “That’s asking for nothing but trouble.”
As for needing to be in Jonathan’s house to feel closer to him…she didn’t have an answer for that, either.
“Lucinda, it’s me,” she called. “I’m back.”
The housekeeper appeared at the top of the stairs. She held the baby in her arms. “We were playing in his room. He loves that big plastic truck you got him. You know I always read about studies that say boys play with cars and guns because that’s what they’re given, but I think it’s more than that. It’s inside of them.” She tickled Colton’s chin. “You’re just a big boy who’s going to be a strong man, aren’t you, sweetie?”
Colton waved his arms and giggled. He was always happy, always loving, thriving on the attention showered on him by herself and Lucinda.
Cynthia glanced down at her suit. “I need to change out of these clothes, then finish up the work I brought home. Do you want me to take him, or-”
Lucinda cut her off with a quick wave. “I’ll watch him. You know I love to.” She swung around in a wide circle, holding out one of Colton’s arms, as if they were dancing. “I thought maybe I’d teach him the tango later. Women love men who can tango.”
Cynthia laughed as she made her way up the stairs. Lucinda was a wonderful addition to Jonathan’s household and she hoped he understood what a treasure he had in her.
She passed the older woman and the baby still tangoing, then made her way into her bedroom. In a matter of minutes she’d changed into jeans and a sweater, then she sat down at the small desk by the window. An hour later she’d finished paying her bills, had updated her accounts and made most of her phone calls.
With most of her work nearly finished, Cynthia found that her mind started to wander. For one thing, she couldn’t help remembering all that had happened the night before. Not just the kiss, although that had been amazing enough to keep her up most of the night. Being in Jonathan’s arms had been as wonderful the second time as it had been at the ball.
She was still surprised that he didn’t frighten or intimidate her. Maybe it was because she’d come close to death and didn’t want to waste any time. Maybe it was because she had the strong feeling that she was the only one who really saw the truth inside of him. At least she had no regrets about what they’d done the previous night, or if she did, they were regrets that he’d stopped.
She’d never made love with a man. To be honest, she hadn’t thought about it one way or the other. But being with Jonathan like that had made her think about the possibilities.
But as much as she reveled in being with him and however much she wanted to blush at the memory of her own boldness, what she couldn’t escape was what he’d said about his brother. That David had stolen from the company and then had tried to kill him.
She squeezed her eyes shut as pain swept through her. Pain for what Jonathan must be feeling. She couldn’t imagine a brother acting like that. Even though she knew families weren’t perfect and people didn’t always love the way they should, David’s actions were inconceivable.
With that new information, she completely understood Jonathan’s resistance to Colton. On the one hand, Jonathan was fair enough to want to give the innocent child a chance, but on the other, he couldn’t forget who the baby’s father was. She knew now that it was her job to help Jonathan make peace with his past. She would have to help him see that Colton was as much a victim as he was and that together they could heal each other.
A soft knock interrupted her thoughts. Lucinda came in with a tray of coffee and sandwiches. “It’s lunch. You didn’t eat much at breakfast, so I knew you’d be hungry. I already gave Colton his bottle. He’s about out for his nap.”
Cynthia took the offered food. “Thanks, Lucinda,” she said, smiling at the housekeeper. “You’re too good to me.”
The older woman shrugged. “You’re easy. And at least I have something to do now. Mr. Jonathan is never home. He never entertains, nothing.”
Cynthia thought about her questions and wondered if Lucinda would help. “Did you work here before Jonathan’s father died?”
Lucinda sat in one of the wing chairs and nodded. Her short, dark curls bobbed with the movement. “I’ve worked here nearly fifteen years. Old Mr. Steele hired me. Mr. David was still at home on school holidays, but Mr. Jonathan was gone.”
Cynthia hesitated. “Jonathan told me that he and his brother didn’t get along.”
Lucinda snorted in disgust. “Mr. David was a bad seed. I know we’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but if anyone deserved it, it’s him. Always in trouble, that one. And his father just looked the other way. Mr. Jonathan worked hard, he did great things with the company, but old Mr. Steele never noticed. Nothing was good enough. Mr. Jonathan is brilliant with the businesses, but did his father say even one kind word? No.”
She paused, then pressed her lips together. “Mr. Jonathan loved this house. His father knew that, yet he left it to Mr. David. I never understood why. I was so angry. I told Mr. David I was quitting. I wouldn’t work for him. Always with the parties and the women, that one. Even after he married, there were women.” Her gaze narrowed. “Mr. David, he laughed at me and told me not to worry. That as soon as he took title of the property, he would be selling it back to his brother.”
She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I overheard Mr. David on the phone with his lawyer. He did what he said, but he charged Mr. Jonathan twice what the house was worth. And Mr. Jonathan paid it, too. Because he loved this house more than anything. I told him I was happy to work for him, so he kept me, too.”
Cynthia didn’t know what to say. Everything was so confusing. “I didn’t know it could be like that between brothers.”
Lucinda nodded. “I know. It’s terrible. I never liked Mr. David, but Mr. Jonathan is different. Sometimes I think he is very sad inside. Like his heart is broken. I tell him to get married, to have babies. They will make him feel better. But he tells me I’m a romantic and it isn’t that easy.”
She rose to her feet and shrugged. Her expression turned shrewd. “Maybe now he’ll listen, eh?”
“I think he and Colton can help each other,” she said.
“Oh, yes, the baby. But that is not what I was thinking.”
She winked and left before Cynthia could respond.
Once she was gone, Cynthia sat alone in her room and thought about what Lucinda had told her. There was so much pain in Jonathan’s past. No wonder he resisted making emotional connections. Yet all his actions spoke for themselves. He saw what was right and he did it. Whether that meant helping out in the community, or worrying about her while she was in the hospital. When she looked at him she saw a strong man, but one who was very alone. Her heart ached for him.
She stood and quickly left her room. Across the hall, Colton’s door stood open. She stepped inside and crossed over to the crib standing in the center of the room.
The baby wasn’t quite asleep. He opened his eyes at her approach, then smiled broadly when he spotted her. Big blue eyes crinkled with laughter. Fat arms waved as he silently asked to be picked up.
“No, you don’t, young man,” she said softly. “It’s your nap time. I’m just stopping by because I haven’t seen you all morning and I’m a sucker for a handsome face like yours.”
She touched his cheek, then his hand. His pudgy fingers closed around one of hers. As his grip tightened, so did a thin band encircling her heart. She knew she was in trouble. Bad enough to fall for the uncle, but far worse to fall for the child, as well. If she let herself care too much, when it was time to leave, she would find herself broken in two.