"What would you like me to say, Daniel? You've already made up your
mind and condemned yourself because you couldn't stop it from
happening.
Isn't that right? " "I wasn't even in town when they died."
"Were you working? " "Yes."
"But if you had been in town, then you would have gone to the bank for
your wife? Would you have done that? " "I don't know. I don't want
to talk about it." He sprawled out in the chair on the opposite side
of the bed. "I should have been there, and I wasn't. It's as simple
as that."
"Did you always do the banking business for your wife? " He shook his
head. "No."
"Did you do other errands? " "Like what? " She shrugged. "Like going
into the general store to shop orţtX He interrupted impatiently. "No,
Kathleen did all the shopping."
"I see."
"What do you see, Grace? Enlighten me." She ignored his hostility.
"If your wife and daughter had been killed while they were shopping or
while they were walking down the street, you would still blame
yourself. I think I understand why.
It's because you're a lawman, and it's your duty to protect the
innocent."
"Yes. I should have prevented it from ever happening."
"By staying with your family day and night and never letting them out
of your sight? " "I didn't say that."
"Yes, you did." He bowed his head. His eyes burned, and he rubbed
them with one hand.
Then he reached over and turned down the lamp on the table next to
him.
The orange glow from the flame was irritating him. "You don't need all
this light, do you? " "No." She was stroking Cooper's brow while she
thought about their conversation. She still hadn't recovered from the
stunning news that his family had been murdered.
"I'm surprised you didn't hand your badge back to your superiors, " she
remarked. "Or turn to drink after your wife died. Some men do."
"I didn't. I wanted to die all right, but I figured it would take too
long if I tried to drink myself to death. One night, I got my gun and
I put the barrel up against my temple . . . " "Stop it. I don't want
to hear this." He didn't realize he was breaking her heart by telling
her what he had attempted to do. He didn't know how much he meant to
her. How could he?
She had been cold and so appallingly proper from the moment she'd met
him. Ladies never revealed their true emotions. It wasn't acceptable
to let others see a burst of anger or passion or joy. Grace had been
well trained by experts, and there were times when she honestly didn't
know what she was feeling.
"I obviously didn't have the courage to kill myself, " he said dryly.
"I'm still here, aren't I? " "Courage has nothing to do with it, " she
snapped. "Killing yourself is a coward's way out. It takes courage to