except that I had to stay away from him when he was drinking, and it
seemed he was always holding a glass in one hand and a bottle in the
other."
"What about your mother? " "I think his leaving changed her, but I
can't be certain. She dried up inside. She used to tell me she had to
be hard on me so I wouldn't make the same mistakes she made."
"Did she ever praise you? " "I don't remember, " she said. "I loved
my mother, but I don't want to be like her, and I'm afraid that maybe
it's too late for me to change."
"You aren't like her, " he said.
"You don't know how to be hard." When she tried to turn away, he
tilted her chin so she would look at him again.
"You praise Caleb all the time. I've heard you tell him how smart he
is and how sweet . . . " "Children need to know they're loved. They
must have constant reassurance."
"You need to be reassured too, don't you? " She didn't answer him.
"Do you know what attracted me to you? " She shook her head.
"When I first met you, you were standing behind a screen door at
Tilly's house. Remember? " "I was terrified."
"Yeah, I know you were. Well, I thought you were about the prettiest
woman in the territory."
"You did? " she whispered breathlessly. "I was wearing an old, faded
dress." He laughed. "I didn't pay much attention to what you had
on.
I was trying to picture what was underneath. You have a very shapely
body, Jessie, and I couldn't wait to get my hands on you." He couldn't
believe she was blushing, yet she was, and he thought that was one of
the hundred or so reasons why he loved her.
"I was already intrigued, because I had heard about this young lady who
went to visit her aunt and ended up taking on the responsibility of
becoming a mother to a newborn. Do you know how few women would have
done what you did? The responsibility of raising a child alone is
staggering, and a lot of women couldn't or wouldn't have done it. They
would have dropped him off at the nearest foundling home and gone on
their way."
"It isn't a hardship. Caleb's the joy of my life."
"Remember I told you how my brothers and I became a family? I was part
of a gang back then and awfully young when we found Mary Rose in the
alley we called home. I was headed for disaster, " he added. "Mary
Rose changed my life and so did my brothers. I didn't raise my sister
alone, though.
I had three brothers to help."
"But Iţ" Before she could continue, he interrupted. "I love your
strength and your courage, and I love the fact that you bring out the
best in me.
Those are just a couple of the reasons." He gently cupped the sides of
her face. "I didn't want to fall in love with you."
"Then why don't you stop? " she asked gently.
"Sweetheart, that's like asking me to stop breathing. Ah, Jessie, I