Man, listen, I’m tired as hell. Last night I ended up pullin’ an all-nighter wit’ Crystal’s fat ass. This cute brown-skinned chick from Union I fuck on the low from time to time. She’s a bit chunky, though, wit’ a head like a Chow’s—big. But she got some good pussy. And she swallows and hits a nigga up wit’ paper—even when the ho don’t want to, so you already know what time it was. I didn’t leave up from outta her spot ’til almost four in the mornin’.
I close my eyes, replayin’ the night in my head. I licked and kissed her skin startin’ from her thick neck to her wide collar bone to her itty-bitty piggy tits, twirlin’ my tongue ’round each nipple before nibblin’ on ’em. She moaned. Then I planted a trail of kisses in the center of her chest down to her overflowin’ gut and over her wide hips. The whole time I’m wit’ this rhino I gotta remind myself that big girls need love, too; that big girls like to fuck, too; that big girls can suck a mean dick, too. And, they love spendin’ money on a muhfucka like me, too.
“Yeah, baby. Let daddy make you feel good. You want daddy to long stroke this tight pussy?”
“Mmm-hmm…”
I continued explorin’ her body. I raised her ham hocks and placed kisses on the inside of each thigh. My lips traveled to her cankles. But I stopped when I got to her biscuit heels. You know a nigga ain’t fuckin’ wit’ no busted-ass feet. And that ho has fluffy-ass buttermilk biscuits on the back of her heels. You know what I’m talkin’ about; them big, white puffy heels that look like they’ve been soaked in yeast. What the fuck?!
The last time I was wit’ her ass I told her she needed to go to a foot surgeon to get them shits handled. I don’t give a fuck how good the pussy is, or what kinda muthafuckin’ gifts I’m bein’ laced wit’, or how much paper I’m tryna fuck outta her ass. Some things are off limits. And fuckin’ wit’ her raggedy feet is one of ’em. She even had the muthafuckin’ nerve to be openin’ and closin’ her toes like I was ’bout to suck on them gorilla claws. Not tonight, boo. Not to-muthafuckin’-night, I thought, spreadin’ her legs open, then puttin’ my head between ’em. I sniffed the silky patch of hair coverin’ her thick pussy, flickin’ her clit wit’ my tongue. She moaned. I continued dartin’ my tongue in and outta her, slurpin’ her pussy. Then I pressed a finger on her asshole, and put my whole mouth over her clit and sucked, then licked. Then I stuck two fingers into her hot slit. The bitch started shakin’. I used more force, suckin’ her clit, finger-poppin’ her hole, and pressin’ on her asshole.
She let out a loud-ass moan, then started screamin’ and buckin’ her hips. Three minutes later, her nut oozed out into my mouth and onto my tongue. A nigga can’t front, that fat ho got some sweet, creamy pussy. And it’s hot, and muthafuckin’ tight. I finished suckin’ her hole clean, then flipped her over onto her stomach. “You ready for this big dick, bitch?” I asked, slappin’ her on her ass. I tried not to frown at all the dents and craters in her ass.
“Yes, fuck me,” she moaned, archin’ her back and pumpin’ her hips. “Stretch my pussy with that big-ass, black dick, nigga.”
I grinned, slidin’ on a condom, then pushin’ the head of my dick into the back of her pussy. Biscuit Heels gasped as I slowly entered her. I fed her this dick nice ’n slow. Reached ’round her and started squeezin’ her niblets—my term for teenie tits wit’ lil’ nipples. I fucked her wit’ six inches of dick, then let her twist ’n wiggle up on it, takin’ in the rest. And the whole time I was hittin’ it from the back, I was thinkin’, Damn, this bitch needs a back bra for all this muthafuckin’ back fat.
But I gotta say big girl handled this dick. I had my hands on my hips watchin’ her ass jiggle ’n bounce. The more she bounced and shook, the more dick she took in. By the time I finished rockin’ her box, I walked up outta her spot wit’ not only the paper she hit me wit’, but wit’ her beggin’ me to come back through today to run up in her fat, low self-esteem-havin’ ass again. Bless her chubby lil’ heart!
I pull open my laptop, then turn it on. And the minute I log onto my email account. Several IM screens pop up. Damn, these bitches are real thirsty, I think.
ILoveSweetCum: Hey, baby. Haven’t seen you online lately, where you been, boo?
DaddyLongStroke: Chillin’, ma. What’s good wit’ you?
ILoveSweetCum: Missing u
Yeah, right! How the fuck this ho gonna miss me. The dumb bitch doesn’t even know me. Hell, none of ’em do. And if I’ve fucked any of ’em, then the only thing they know is how I rock the box. Other than that, these bitches be straight bullshittin’. I shake my head.
Daddylongstroke: Bring me them pretty-ass dick suckas, and prove it
ILoveSweetCum: LMFAO. U a trip, nigga
Daddylongstroke: Nah, baby. I ain’t trippin’. I got a bucket of thick, sweet cum for ya throat. Stop frontin’ and cum get it
I switch to the next IM box, then alternate from one screen to the next, tryna keep up wit’ these hoes tryna get at me.
ThicknDaHips: When you gonna stop frontin’ and stroke me up?
DaddyLongStroke: Oh, so you think you ready for this dick?
ThicknDaHips: Baby, I was born ready
DaddyLongStroke: LOL, that’s what ya mouth says. U can’t take no real dick
ThicknDaHips: CTFU. Try me
Onmyknees2plez: Hey, big daddy; why u hiding from me? Stop acting like u scared of me, baby. I don’t bite
DaddyLongStroke: lmfao. Baby, ain’t no body hidin’ from ya sexy ass. U da one runnin’ from this dick. E’ery time we supposed to hook up you backin’ out on a nigga
Onmyknees2plez: ROTFL. Nigga, u got me confused with one of them other chicks. U ain’t said nothing but a word. What kinda condoms u use?
DaddyLongStroke: Magnums, baby. XL. U know what that means, right?
Onmyknees2plez: Yeah. That a big dick don’t mean shit if u don’t know how to use it
ThicknDaHips: Hello, u still there????????
DaddyLongStroke: Yeah, hol’ up
ILoveSweetCum: U still there??
DaddyLongStroke: Yeah, baby. Hold up, BRB. Gotta take a leak
DaddyLongStroke: Well, I know howta use it. The ? is do u know howta take it?
Onmyknees2plez: Sure do
DaddyLongStroke: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s what they all say. Stop frontin’ and show ’n prove
Onmyknees2plez: Call me, TONIGHT
DaddyLongStroke: what’s ya number again?
Onmyknees2plez: 908-444-5533
DaddyLongStroke: Aiiight, bet. I’ma get at u later tonight
Onmyknees2plez: U better
DaddyLongStroke: So, Thick, what’s good? When we gonna meet up so I can split that back down the middle? A nigga tryna pop ya spine out
ThicknDaHips: Lmao@a nigga tryna pop ya spine out. U funny as hell
DaddyLongStroke: Nah, baby. I’m dead-ass. I wanna fuck. But, you da one frontin’ n shit. Hol’ up. Gotta piss. BRB
ThicknDaHips: Aiight
DaddyLongStroke: Aiight, I’m back
ILoveSweetCum: Oh, okay. I almost thought you forgot about me
DaddyLongStroke: Never that. So when u tryna wet this dick?
ILoveSweetCum: Call me. 973-555-3303
DaddyLongStroke: Aiight. I’ma hit u up lata
DaddyLongStroke: I’m back
ThicknDaHips: Geesh. Took you long enough. Musta been one helluva piss
DaddyLongStroke: Well, I gotta long dick so it takes me longer to piss
ThicknDaHips: LMAO. U stupid
I take a deep breath. All this back ’n forth IM’in’ is startin’ to give a muhfucka a damn headache.
DaddylongStroke: Nah, baby, ain’t nuthin’ stupid ’bout me stick-in’ this Mandingo cock up in ya
ThicknDaHips: Then let’s have at it
DaddyLongStroke: U talk a good one, baby
Another IM screen pops up. I shake my head. On some real shit, I can’t tell you the first thing ’bout any of these bitches, other than the fact they gotta pussy. And wanna fuck. I hear the garage door open, I log off the computer, abruptly cuttin’ all them cock-hungry hoes off.
My cell rings. I shake my head, glancin’ at the screen. It’s Candy; another one of them chunky-monkey bitches. She’s one of those tight-pussied chicks who borders between ugly and beasty, dependin’ on how the light shines on her. Her long, fake eyelashes and wide, pudgy nose makes her look like a chocolate Miss Piggy. Actually, the bitch kinda reminds me of a much thicker and wider version of that funny-lookn’ chick, Tiffany sumthin’. You know, the one who played New York on that busted-ass reality show, I Love New York. Anyway, ugly and fat or not—wit’ the lights out, she’s a damn good lay, a greedy cock sucka, and she knows howta lace a nigga.
“Yo, what’s good?”
“Hey, baby. You know it’s almost that time, so what you want for your birthday?” she asks. Damn, when did I tell her my birthday was? Shit, I have so many of ’em I forget which ho I done told which date to.
“My birthday?”
“Yeah, fool. Isn’t your birthday on the eighteenth of next month?”
“Right, right,” I say, chucklin’. “I got so much shit on my mind I almost forgot.”
She laughs. “You need to lay off the trees, baby. They got you forgetting your own birthday.”
Shut ya Samoan ass up wit’ that dumb shit! I think, sparkin’ a blunt. She’s been givin’ me a birthday fuck, along wit’ a few gifts, for the last four years. I haveta laugh ’cause chick really thinks she’s doin’ me a favor and givin’ me sumthin’ special. But, I let her fat ass think it’s the nicest shit anyone’s ever done for me. It makes her feel good that she’s makin’ a muhfucka feel special, so who am I to steal her joy. Besides, once a year is ’bout as much as I can stomach from her linebacker ass.
“Well, you know I ’preciate you always rememberin’. I can always count on you to come through to make a muhfucka like me feel special. That means a lot.”
“Awww, that’s so sweet.”
“Not as sweet as you and that tight pussy,” I tell her. Yeah, it’s a small lie, but it makes her feel good, and gets me what I want. “You need to let me come through so I can stretch that shit out for ya, now.”
She laughs. “You stay tryna fuck somebody.”
“And?”
“And, nothing; I’m just saying.”
“Well, what you sayin’? Can I beat that shit up, or what?”
“Yeah…”
“Oh, aiight. That’s wassup. Tonight?”
“No,” she says, suckin’ her teeth, “on ya birthday when I see you, like we always do.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know. You can’t knock a nigga for tryna get some pre-birthday sex.”
She laughs. “Whatever. I know you got enough bitches keeping your dick wet the rest of the year. But as long as I’m the one fucking that big-ass dick on ya birthday, it’s all good.”
I laugh wit’ her. “I feel you, baby. Yo, you votin’?
“Are you kidding? Hell yeah, I’m voting. I’ma be at the polls bright and early. Me, my mother, grandmother and three sisters.”
“Oh, aiight. That’s wassup. ’Cause if you weren’t, I was gonna haveta cancel this dick on you.”
She laughs again. “Well, that’s not about to happen, so I’ll see you on ya birthday.”
“No doubt,” I tell her, hangin’ up.