When Darcy returned somewhat later, he was not surprised to find Elizabeth in a sound sleep. Not wanting to disturb her, fully aware that she needed as much rest as she could get, he quietly laid out the tea and an assorted array of foods that he had secured from the captain’s private supply. At times like this, there was an advantage to being the ship’s owner, and he did not have to twist the captain’s arm too severely to get what he desired.
He turned toward her and stood silently observing her, intrigued by the calm demeanour that had spread over her face in sleep, captivated by the few long, dark tresses that had escaped from her pinned-up hair, but greatly disturbed about the pallor that was taking hold of her features. He fought the temptation to reach over and gently run his fingers through her hair or stroke her cheek, compelling himself to turn away instead. He could not allow himself the liberty to dwell on things that could not be.
Sitting down on the bench at the table in his room, he absently picked up the book he had been reading. He opened it to the page he was on, but found his attention reverting back to the sleeping form in the bed on the other side of the room. He had always found time to read, enjoyed reading, and looked for any excuse to read, but at the moment he was easily finding a justification not to read.
He finally gave up and closed the book, setting his mind to trying to recall more about the carriage ride two years ago and the young lady who shared it with him. While he was fairly certain it was her, he tried to think of other things he remembered about her from that day.
Vigorously rubbing his chin, as though that would help facilitate his memory, he did vividly recall that he had been impressed with her knowledge of the books she had read and they had shared a lively discussion about many of them. He remembered afterwards crediting her as being an accomplished woman who sought the improvement of her mind by extensive reading. She had been willing to express a difference of opinion and even argue with him about some aspects of literature and his opinion of them. That was certainly descriptive of the lady asleep in his room.
He furrowed his brow as he tried to recall any part of the conversation they shared. What else could there have been that would enlighten him as to whether or not it was her? He recollected that she had dark, sparkling, fine eyes, as did Elizabeth. She had sprained her ankle falling from a tree that she had climbed… she had to walk home injured… she loved walking! Yes, that would be true of Elizabeth.
Suddenly he remembered a vague discussion they had about horses. She had told him that she preferred walking to riding a horse and sometimes even to riding in a carriage. Darcy smiled. That should be easy enough to discover without raising suspicion. He would wait for the right opportunity and then work it into his conversation. If he found that to be true of Elizabeth, he would be certain it was her!
Darcy stood up and walked over to the small port window. He looked out at the vast sea that surrounded them and realized that it had been days since his thoughts had turned to Georgiana and the sole reason for his coming on this voyage. He had boarded this ship with her retrieval being first and foremost on his mind, and having to cross the ocean to fetch her was something that had originally caused him great consternation.
He had come aboard with a very poor disposition, to the point of being irritated with his fellow passengers even before becoming acquainted with them. He felt anger toward Mrs. Annesley and his cousin Fitzwilliam for their persistent and persuasive arguments to allow Georgiana to go to America in the first place. He had not looked forward one bit to the crossing and had it settled in his mind from the first that he would not enjoy the voyage at all.
Added to all this was that upon boarding the ship, he still reeled from the recent blow of Georgiana’s close call with that deceitful, scheming George Wickham. These past few months had been taxing on his ability to handle the things life dropped in his lap, had affected his decision-making ability, and altered the way he had begun to look at life.
Certainly he had boarded the ship angry at the very people with whom he was having to make this journey. He cringed with shame as he recalled the comment he made to the captain that first day, and he still wondered whether Elizabeth had overheard him.
He turned to look at her. Somehow she had made him forget all his anger, frustrations, and even some of his resentment.
He left the window and looked around the small room that they now shared. Once her health improved and she could think more clearly, would she feel comfortable spending the rest of the trip in the confines of this cabin with him? Would she continue to trust him or would she harbour suspicions that he had ulterior motives in proposing this arrangement? Would she have second thoughts and regret her decision?
Darcy let out the breath he had been holding. It would be too late for second thoughts. The captain had married them, and they were now husband and wife—at least until he had the marriage annulled back in England. It may have been something he had done with very little rational thought behind it, but he believed he had done it with her best interest in mind.
Knowing he would be unable to simply sit still and wait for her to awaken, he began to pace nervously around the room, going to the window and looking out, walking the short distance over to Elizabeth, and then back to the window.
Darcy’s movements eventually awakened Elizabeth. She opened her eyes, aroused from the deepest sleep she had enjoyed in close to a week, and took a moment to get her bearings. Darcy was standing with his back toward her, as he stood at the window, and she was able to watch him for a few moments before he turned and saw that she had wakened.
“Good afternoon, Elizabeth. Did you sleep well?”
Feeling a little self-conscious lying in the bed, she struggled against her weakness to pull herself up. “Yes, Mr. Darcy, thank you.”
Darcy ignored her persistence to acknowledge him formally.
“I brought you some tea and something to eat, as well. I think it would be best for you to eat something first before we go to the dining room. It would be wise not to spend too much time with anyone until we know that you are improved. Try to eat and drink a little, and then we will go up and join the captain for the announcement.”
The announcement. He spoke those words devoid of any emotion. She could certainly comprehend his feeling, or lack of feeling about this whole arrangement. But at the moment, although she greatly enjoyed the welcomed sleep, she was hard-pressed to know exactly what her feelings were regarding this marriage. She still felt the assault against her body from illness and lack of sleep, and she could barely conjure up a reasonable sentence, let alone discern her thoughts at the moment.
Elizabeth brought her feet around to the floor, quite convinced that she looked as poorly as she felt. But she had slept soundly, and for that she was grateful.
Darcy walked over to her. “Here, let me help you over to the table.”
As he reached out his hand to her, her initial response was that she could do it herself, but due to her ankle’s continued tenderness and her unsteadiness upon sitting up, she accepted his offer. He pulled her up and slipped his arm underneath hers, supporting her body as she used one foot to propel herself along. Surprisingly, she felt a strength from him that seemed to boost her energy even more.
He set her down at the table and she looked down at the plate of food in front of her. Instead of the normal fare of dried, hard, unpalatable food, she found a very pleasing array of some fresh fruit and chicken.
“This looks delicious.” Her appreciation was apparent, but subdued. “Is this what everyone is having this evening?” She dabbed a little at the food, unwilling to pass it up, but suffering from an untimely lack of appetite.
“Not exactly. This is something special from the captain’s cupboard. He had some fruit that was still good, however very little, and there is a pen of chickens onboard that he gets eggs and an occasional chicken meal from.”
Elizabeth looked up at him curiously, wondering what he had to pay the captain for him to turn over some of this delectable fare.
“Thank you.” As Elizabeth took some small bites, she wondered how often he himself had been privy to these kinds of meals all along.
“If you would like, I shall leave you to finish eating and then you can tidy yourself up before going to the dining area. Is there anything I can get for you before I leave?”
“No. Unfortunately all my things are still in steerage.”
“Help yourself to anything of mine that you require.” He pointed to a dresser full of items. “The captain will join us to make the announcement in the dining area. We shall linger but a short time to allow you to speak briefly with your acquaintances. We shall then retrieve your things from steerage. You must not exert yourself.”
Elizabeth merely nodded in weak acquiescence. She had a difficult time fully comprehending all that Darcy had just said, but knew that he was resolutely laying things out the way he expected them to be. She realized if she had a morsel more of strength and even a remote ability to think more attentively, she would have been inclined to challenge these dictates he was giving.
Darcy left the room and the first thing Elizabeth did was to take her unused napkin and hide the remaining morsels of food into it, slipping the napkin into the pocket of her dress. She would take it down to her friends in steerage.
She hobbled over to the dresser, propelling herself along with her arms braced on the tabletop and dresser top, putting as little pressure on her injured foot as she was able. She sat down in front of the mirror and for a few moments silently looked at her reflection. Elizabeth weakly picked up a brush and combed out her hair, pulling the dark, thick locks back on top of her head. She reflected back on how uncomplicated and unemotional their conversation had been. He talked as if he were discussing with her the details of a business arrangement. She sighed as she looked at her weakened, pale reflection in the mirror. Perhaps he was.
When she had finished, she called out and Darcy stepped back into the room. He looked over at the empty plate on the table, wondering how she could have eaten it all so quickly, but said nothing. “Are you ready to go to the dining room?”
“We might as well get it over with,” Elizabeth replied, suddenly feeling very uneasy. She wondered what the reaction would be from those with whom she had formed acquaintances.
Darcy’s jaw tightened at her response, speculating whether now, after having had a good sleep, she regretted what they had done.
He walked over to her and his arms easily scooped her up. She made every attempt to view being held in his arms as strictly a necessity born out of her clumsy stumble earlier in the day. She had begun to feel an unanticipated warmth and appreciation toward him, however, that in her condition, she could not dwell on.
They proceeded to the dining room, which was already crowded with people. As Darcy walked in carrying Elizabeth, a sudden quietness fell over the room, followed immediately by whispering and rising speculations.
The captain quickly walked up to join them and raised his arms to silence everyone. “Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement I wish to make. Today, as captain of this ship, it was my privilege and honour to unite Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennet in holy matrimony. I am honoured to present Mr. and Mrs. Darcy.”
A very audible buzzing was heard as people came around to bestow upon them surprised, but sincere, best wishes. Darcy accepted their words of congratulations with a simple nod of the head and “thank you.” He watched as Elizabeth received their attentions warmly, and she graciously offered back words of encouragement herself, despite her weak and fragile state.
Not everyone was inclined to approach; some from simply a lack of introduction to either of them. A certain handful of ladies sat rather stupefied that this singularly common woman had somehow snatched the one man onboard they deemed most eligible and desirable. They thought it was incomprehensible!
Darcy carried Elizabeth to a table and set her down, whispering to her as firmly as he could that they would only remain for a few minutes because of her health. They accepted continued words of congratulations from their well-wishers and soon were joined by Mr. and Mrs. Jennings, who had made Darcy’s acquaintance earlier, but not Elizabeth’s.
Mr. and Mrs. Jennings expressed their congratulations to the newly married couple.
Mrs. Jennings looked at the two and asked, “What a surprise this is! How long have the two of you known each other?”
Darcy replied, “We met only upon coming onboard the ship.”
“So the two of you just met? You did not know each other before?” Mr. Jennings asked incredulously.
“That is correct,” Darcy replied.
He could tell by Jennings’s look that this did not bode well with him. Knowing his tendency to speak his mind without giving thought to what he said or how he said it, Darcy was quite surprised when he simply raised an eyebrow in a manner indicative of inner speculation and silently nodded.
The Jenningses soon left, and after spending what Darcy considered a reasonable amount of time allowing Elizabeth the chance to visit, but not so much time that she would become too wearied, he offered up an apology that they must leave and reached down to lift her up again.
“Come, Elizabeth. Let us go down and get your things.”
He carried Elizabeth quickly down to steerage, very much aware that she was becoming weaker and weaker. He took the three flights of stairs easily and agilely. Bringing her in, and per her direction, he brought her over to where Mrs. Rawlings and her girls were. He set her down and she sat toward the foot of the woman’s bed. She was glad to see that Pauline and Penelope had improved and Mrs. Rawlings seemed a little bit more on her way to recovery. Darcy had agreed to step out until she had broken the news to her.
“I have something I need to tell you, Lenore.”
“Oh, Elizabeth, I understand you hurt your ankle today. You must want your bed back,” Mrs. Rawlings contritely said. “I have been expecting that. You have been unwell yourself. It would be very wrong of me to insist on keeping it.” She began to pull the blankets off of herself, but Elizabeth stopped her.
“No, no, Lenore. You stay right where you are.” Elizabeth found herself at a loss to explain what had transpired that day. “Lenore…” Elizabeth looked down at her hands that she was rubbing nervously together. “Today I was…” She paused, almost afraid to say the words. “Today I was… married, and I shall no longer be travelling in steerage but in the room with my… with my… husband.” Her heart tightened when she softly uttered those words, as suddenly a more acute awareness of what she had done, the vows she had taken, swept over her.
She looked into Mrs. Rawlings’s face and knew she needed to explain. “Lenore, today Mr. Darcy and I were married. I wanted to come down and tell you myself when I came to get my things.”
Mrs. Rawlings’s face showed a great deal of surprise. “Mr. Darcy? When did you meet him? How did this happen?”
“I actually met him the first day on the ship.” She had not quite met him then, but rather bumped into him. There was no need to go further into that.
Mrs. Rawlings reached out for Elizabeth’s hand. “Please forgive me, Elizabeth, but can you really know a man in such a short time?”
Elizabeth nodded. “Do not worry, Lenore, he is a fine man.” She felt awkward discussing this and greatly desired to change the subject. She reached into her large pocket and withdrew the napkin. “Here, I brought you something from my dinner.”
Mrs. Rawlings looked with amazement as Elizabeth slowly opened the napkin. Her eyes widened as she recognized the delectable array before her not just by sight but also by the pleasant aroma.
“Elizabeth! How did you come upon such fare?”
“That does not matter. I just want you and your daughters to enjoy something that might make you feel a little better and help you get your strength back.”
“You are too kind, Elizabeth. That husband of yours got for himself a mighty fine lady!”
“That was him who brought me in. He is outside the door, waiting to retrieve my things. May I ask him in and introduce you?”
“Yes, please, I should like to meet him.”
Elizabeth called for Darcy. That he was feeling the uncomfortable effects of steerage was very noticeable. Its stifling air and putrid odours began to take a toll on him.
He walked back in and Elizabeth introduced him to Mrs. Rawlings and the girls. “It is a pleasure, Mrs. Rawlings. Elizabeth speaks highly of you.”
“Thank you, sir. You have chosen well, Mr. Darcy. There is none finer than Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth blushed, grateful for the darkness of the room. She quickly pointed out to Darcy where her things were, and he picked them up, helping her put them in her duffel. “I shall take these to our room and return for you shortly.”
He turned to leave, and Elizabeth turned her attentions back to Mrs. Rawlings. “Oh, Elizabeth, he is indeed a fine-looking man. When did all this happen?”
Elizabeth knew she could not lie to her friend, but she did not have to tell her the whole truth. “We became acquainted on early morning walks together. He and I both arose at sunrise and found we enjoyed many similar things.” Elizabeth marvelled at how easily those words came.
Mrs. Rawlings nodded, still at a loss to understand this, but very happy for her friend.
Elizabeth played with Pauline and Penelope, who were well enough to have some energy, but still not well enough to venture up. They eagerly partook of the delicious offering that Elizabeth had brought down.
Before Darcy returned, Elizabeth carefully hobbled over to Mrs. Trimble, finding she could put a little more pressure on her ankle without too much discomfort. Mrs. Trimble was very pale and weak, but it was apparent that she was more than grateful for Elizabeth’s visit.
Elizabeth sat down with her, giving her a portion of the food she had set aside. As she watched the woman take only small bites and eat meagrely, she wished she could pass on some other morsel of strength to her. She was concerned about her appearance; she looked almost as if she was giving up the fight to get well. If she could barely eat the tasty supply of food Elizabeth brought her, she certainly would not be able to eat the food the rest of the passengers were getting.
Elizabeth remained with her for just a short while, and then returned to Mrs. Rawlings until Darcy came back down.
“I shall visit you tomorrow, Lenore.”
Mrs. Rawlings put up her hand. “Now Elizabeth, you are just married. You need to be with your husband and not worry about us! Besides, I can see that you are still not well. We are doing just fine!”
Elizabeth shook her head and smiled. “If I can, I shall see you tomorrow!”
Elizabeth stood up as Darcy came over to her. He assisted her in walking to the door and out. He began to reach down to lift her up, but she stopped him. “I can walk on my own now, thank you.”
Darcy paused, taken aback by Elizabeth’s stubbornness, but only for a brief moment. “Not when there are three flights of stairs and I am around to carry you!” He spoke his words and lifted her up with such authority that she tensed with anger.
“Put me down, please! I can walk on my own!”
“Elizabeth, do not be a fool! It has been only a few hours since you turned your ankle and you are still unwell! Just relax and let me carry you.”
Elizabeth had not the strength to fight him. This evening had taken its toll on her, but deep down inside she knew he was right. Being carried in his arms was affecting her in quite a different way, and she was disconcerted to find there was something stirring within her as he carried her through the now darkened ship to his room—now their room.
Darcy sensed Elizabeth’s fighting spirit doing battle with her diminishing energy. “Just relax, Elizabeth. You are tired. Rest your head against my shoulder.”
Elizabeth felt that relaxing was the last thing she could allow herself to do. She feared what might happen if she relaxed in his arms. She kept herself rigid and tense, purposely avoiding that which she knew she needed and wanted—to lose herself in the arms of the man who was now her husband, because she knew he would only be her husband for a very short time.
When they reached their room and entered it, Darcy set her down on the bench at the table, still silently angry with her for her stubbornness. Elizabeth noticed that he had put the sheet up across her bed. He must have done that when he brought her things back to the room earlier.
“Elizabeth, in the morning, I shall rise first, get myself ready, and then leave. That will give you the opportunity to come out from behind the sheet, and do what you need to do in privacy. As long as you are still unwell, I expect you to get as much sleep as you can. When you are feeling improved, then you can join me up on deck for our morning walk. Only when you are completely well, only then, will I allow you to go back down to steerage to help out those who are ill. Not one moment sooner!”
Her eyes widened as she listened to his orders, spoken in a severely authoritative tone, of how things would be! How things must be! Her mouth opened to respond with a vehemence of words unleashed, but was halted by her lack of strength and his continued commands.
“You must now get yourself ready for bed, so I shall leave you to it. You have had an exerting afternoon. I shall return later and expect to find you asleep.”
“Yes, Captain!” Elizabeth gave him a mock salute.
Darcy looked at her, his eyes darkening. “Elizabeth, this is for your own good.”
He stood silently watching her, very aware that if she had the strength she would have had much more to say to him on the subject. Instead she simply replied, “Yes, Mr. Darcy, I am sure it is.”
She lifted her eyes to watch him walk out the door as it slammed behind him. He did not enjoy being so forceful with her, but he needed to set up boundaries for her sake as well as his own. The sheet was a safeguard against what could be the greatest temptation he had ever faced. The sheet itself would not be enough to hold him back, but it would be a reminder to him of his resolution and his assurances to Elizabeth.
He was impatient to get out on deck, to breathe in the fresh night air after having been down in steerage. He wondered how anyone could endure that for a month. He came up and filled his lungs to capacity with the cool air and let it out slowly.
He was also anxious to get outside, where he could better clear his thoughts about the woman in his cabin. Two years ago he had looked back at the carriage conveying her away, annoyed at himself for not thinking to ask her name, while at the same time berating himself for becoming so captivated by a woman so decidedly beneath him. It had not been easy to remove her from his thoughts. Several months following that carriage ride he still found himself thinking of her.
Whenever he made a trip to Town, he looked for her, hoping he might encounter her there. He held her up as a standard to every woman he met, and found that they all lacked something he had found so appealing in her. But the memory of her gradually faded… he had almost completely forgotten about her… until meeting her on his ship!
He walked over to the ship’s railing and rested his elbows upon it, clasping his hands together. He looked out at the vast sea of blue surrounding him and took in a deep breath. Elizabeth was truly a remarkable and attractive woman in all aspects of her person, and he was honestly concerned for her health. He just had to remember that this marriage was solely to get her out of steerage to allow her a better chance to improve her well-being. He could never seriously consider a real marriage to a woman who was not at least of equal birth and connections as himself, to a woman whose family was not in the first circles of society and had little or no fortune.
He shook his head. Apart from that, however, she was the type of woman who stimulated him, who entertained and challenged him at the same time. She brought out something in him that very few other women did. She had a vivacious personality, something that he lacked, being more often than not quiet and reserved. She had an engaging nature that actually drew him out of his fastidious shell without her even making a decided effort to do so. This was very unlike so many other women who, in making the same exerted effort, actually drove him deeper inside himself and further away.
But then she can certainly be obstinate! It was very apparent to him that she disliked the fact that he was taking charge. Perhaps we have gotten off to a bad start; no doubt due to her feeling unwell and the awkwardness of the situation. Things will improve. I certainly hope they do.
***
Back in the room, Elizabeth looked at the duffel containing all her things. She would have preferred to put everything away before retiring, but she was fatigued from the exertion of the evening. She felt completely unable to attempt anything of that sort now, and although she had enjoyed a good rest earlier, she felt sleep strongly beckoning her again.
She quickly put on her nightdress, modestly covering it with her robe, ever conscious that Darcy could walk in through the door at any moment. Although he said he would return later, she was fully aware that this was his room and he had every right to return to it whenever he desired.
She let down her hair, grateful for the weight of it now set free, and brushed through it a few times. Just the exertion of the few strokes of the brush tired her even more, and she resigned herself to the fact that all she cared to do right now was crawl into the bed and lose herself to a night of deep slumber.
She pulled aside the sheet that Darcy had hung and climbed into her bed, taking off her robe once the sheet fell back down into place. She eagerly crawled under the blankets. This time, as she lay her head down, she did not succumb to sleep right away, as she had done before. She was able to truly appreciate the comfort of a real bed, its soft mattress beneath her. She breathed in the fresh air, very unlike that which had been in steerage. As she looked over at the sheet that would act as a barrier between her and the man who was now her husband, she actually felt a sense of gratefulness for the thought he had put into this. That was the last thought that passed through her mind as sleep stole upon her.
Darcy later returned, quietly moving about the room readying himself for sleep.
He crawled into his bed and lay down, his eyes wide open at the knowledge that Elizabeth was asleep in the other bed. He lay awake, listening to the sound of her deep, steady breathing, savouring a very faint scent of lavender that must have been the lingering essence of perfumed toilet water. Even though the room was bathed in complete darkness once he extinguished the oil lamp, he found himself glancing over to where she slept. He did not have to see her with his eyes, for he had a very detailed image of her in his mind that would not go away.
Elizabeth slept soundly, barely moving a muscle as her body tried to make up for her lack of sleep and discomfort the past week on the ship. For the first time since coming onboard his ship, Fitzwilliam Darcy slept very poorly.