For the duration of the carriage ride, Elizabeth was unmindful of the passing city of New York as it conveyed her to her aunt and uncle’s boardinghouse. It had been their temporary home since arriving and would be the same for her for the next few months. The city swept past her in a blur as she looked out with red and swollen eyes.
As much as she looked forward to seeing them again, the tumult of her emotions made her feel how unequal she would be to receive their affable and gracious attentions if she remained in this state. She knew not where they lived in relation to where she was, but at that moment she deemed it prudent to make every effort to put aside these heartbroken feelings and make herself presentable for her arrival.
She took in an unsteady deep breath, closed her eyes, and resolutely decided she would think no more of the man who offered himself as her husband solely to aid in her comfort and to ease his discomfort. She certainly benefited from his most unusual and unexpected proposal, but she looked back and wondered if her temporary comfort had come at the expense of her longtime comfort. Her body may have been restored to good health, but her heart felt as though it had been ripped in two.
Pulling out a handkerchief, she dabbed at her eyes, steeling herself to shake out of this and rise above it. She finally turned to look out the window at the city that was passing by her.
It was a new, sprawling city, similar to London but without the buildings that had been erected hundreds of years ago. They lived in an area called Manhattan, an island, the Gardiners had said, that extended for several miles out between the Hudson and East Rivers, that both then reached out to the Atlantic Ocean.
She straightened herself up, secured a few loose strands of hair that had escaped, and nodded, affirming that she was going to enjoy her stay here, take in as much as she could, and hopefully put the last four weeks behind her.
Elizabeth’s attention soon turned to the neighbourhood through which they were driving as the carriage began to slow down. It drew up in front of a large, two-story brownstone building that had flowers blooming in flower boxes hung from the windows, a beautiful green lawn, and a small white picket fence bordering the front. A small sign hung from the front porch which read, “New Amsterdam Boardinghouse.” This would be her home for the next few months, and it could not be more delightful.
The carriage driver promptly opened the door for Elizabeth and offered his hand to bring her down. She felt a tinge of nervousness as she looked around her. It was not just being in a new place, but a completely different country!
“Let me take you in and make sure your kinfolk are here, and then I’ll come back for your things.”
“Thank you,” Elizabeth said and smiled. She had heard many things about the Americans, but this young man was most polite and helpful. She thought her first impression, through him, had been most positive.
Walking alongside Elizabeth up the long walk to the front door, he opened it and held it for Elizabeth to pass through. They walked into a large reception room, and a friendly woman, who was busily dusting some large pieces of wood furniture, greeted them.
“Hello,” Elizabeth returned the greeting. “I am Elizabeth Bennet, the niece of Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. Are they by any chance here?”
“Why I believe they are! I know they have been most anxious for your arrival!” She waved for Elizabeth to follow her, and mentioned to the carriage driver, “You may bring her things upstairs to room 4.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Elizabeth followed the woman, and in speaking with her, found out her name was Mrs. VanderHorn and that she and her family had come over from the Netherlands about ten years ago. Elizabeth enjoyed hearing the English spoken by this woman who had a slightly different accent.
When they came to the room, Mrs. VanderHorn knocked at the door. In just a few moments the door opened very slightly and a pair of eyes, about half the height of Elizabeth, peered out.
The door suddenly flew open and she was announced with a wail, “It is Lizzy! Lizzy is here!”
Little four-year-old Caleb threw himself at Elizabeth, and as she knelt down, she drew him into a big hug. How good it felt, and Elizabeth felt the first glimmer of joy flow through her since last night. They were soon joined by the rest of the family, the children jumping up and down, and Edmund and Madlyn Gardiner waiting patiently for their chance to greet their niece.
When the children finally finished with their greeting, her aunt and uncle together drew Elizabeth into an embrace. Mrs. Gardiner patted her lightly on the back, repeating over and over, “It is so good you have come! It is so good to have you here!”
Tears spilt from Elizabeth’s eyes, but this time they were tears of joy.
Her aunt pulled away a little asking, “Was it a difficult crossing, Lizzy?”
“No,” Elizabeth said through her sniffles. “It is just so good to be with family again!”
“Well, come in, dear girl,” her uncle offered. “It has been too long!”
Elizabeth walked in and savoured the modest, yet comfortable room. Sitting down in a large, overstuffed chair, she soon had the two smaller children on her lap, and the two older ones standing at her side, anxious to hear about how things were back home, but competing with each other to tell her about the adventures they had all been having here in America.
The driver returned with her things, and her uncle showed him to the room that she would share with cousins Lauren and Amanda. He thanked the driver, paid him his due, and sent him on his way.
Elizabeth spent the whole day catching up on all they had been doing the past few months. With great detail and excitement her uncle told her of how his business back in London would be able to really expand with his ability to export a good deal of product to America. He had discovered while here that London would not be the most profitable place to export from, but instead he would be shipping mainly from Liverpool. And with that news, he informed them that they would probably be able to leave New York a little sooner than anticipated; travelling to Liverpool instead of London when they returned. He needed to finalize his business arrangements there before returning home.
Madlyn filled her in on all the places of interest they had visited since arriving, and let her know which ones they desired to visit with her. She told her of the wide variety of people, from every country she could imagine, the little shops that sold Dutch, or Greek, or French, or Norwegian foods and products.
The children insisted on telling her about all their new friends, the new games they had learned to play, and some of the words they learned from children who had come from other countries.
Mr. Gardiner had to leave later in the day after a most delectable fare for midday meal. Elizabeth remarked that she had never tasted anything as delicious, while her aunt assured her that it was most likely due to the bland, dried food she had been eating the past few weeks on the ship.
Elizabeth and her aunt enjoyed their time together talking alone as the children went out in the afternoon to play with the VanderHorn children. Madlyn could see that Elizabeth was tired, but began to wonder if there was something else causing her distress. There seemed to be something just beneath the surface that Elizabeth was not inclined to share.
“Tell me, Elizabeth. Was it terribly bad in steerage? I so wished you could have had a regular cabin.”
Elizabeth took in a deep breath, knowing she could never tell her aunt the truth about what happened on the ship. Yet she truly did not want to lie.
“It was difficult at first. Above all else, when I had spent a good deal of time down there, I found myself yearning for fresh air. Fortunately I found early morning walks most desirable after being in the confines of steerage all night.”
“Oh, I know how much you enjoy walking!” her aunt exclaimed happily. “I am so pleased that it was not excessively distressful. But I want to assure you that on our return trip, we shall be in a cabin.”
“I am very glad to hear that.”
Elizabeth smiled, but her aunt noticed that the smile did not reach up to her niece’s eyes as it normally did.
“Come, Elizabeth, you must tell me how everyone was faring when you left home.”
Elizabeth looked at her aunt most appreciatively. She always knew exactly what to say at the exact moment she needed it. At the moment, Elizabeth needed to focus on something other than the voyage and she eagerly told her of all that had been happening back home.
“Mama was, to the last minute, her usual self. She was constantly swayed by the whim of the moment, debating whether it was prudent for me to come or not. I believe she was more concerned that I might run off with some American than anything else.” Elizabeth chuckled. “But even in that, she could not decide whether that would be a bad thing or not. Papa was visibly concerned with my leaving, wishing up to the moment that I boarded the ship that I would change my mind.”
“I knew it would be difficult for them to let you come.” Her aunt reached over and took her hand. “But I am so glad they did. I selfishly wanted you here so much for my own enjoyment.” She looked intently at her niece. “I hope it was not asking too much.”
“Oh no, Aunt Madlyn. I am very happy to be here and I am looking forward to our time together.”
Elizabeth continued to tell her about her family, and how her two youngest sisters were particularly looking forward to the militia coming to Meryton. Word had been circulating that a branch would be stationed there for at least a few months, and the two girls were beside themselves. She had no idea how their presence would affect her sisters, and confided in her aunt that she worried whether they would be able to behave fittingly around the officers.
Elizabeth enjoyed the good conversation with her aunt, but fatigue drew her to bed early that night.
She was grateful to be with her aunt and uncle and her little cousins, to have good, bountiful meals again, and to sleep in a plush, soft bed. She only wished that her heart could fare emotionally as well as she was faring physically. She hoped that in these surroundings she would recover from her heartache without delay.
***
Darcy solemnly departed Pemberley’s Promise and secured for himself a carriage. He gave the driver the address of Mrs. Annesley’s son and daughter-in-law, and waited while the driver loaded his duffel and then went in search of the trunk that had been stowed. It was a short wait and soon they were off.
Darcy’s motionless figure stared blankly out the window of the carriage, his hand cupped around his chin and mouth, as if attempting to keep down what was fighting to come up. His condition, the result of his actions the night before, did little to help either his emotional or physical state.
He knew he must pull himself together. He would be seeing Georgiana shortly, and would need to put aside all these feelings of regret and remorse, and concentrate on her well-being and safely returning her to England.
Darcy closed his eyes, the numbness from the effects of alcohol definitely wearing off. He was thinking more clearly now, but that meant he was also suffering again the depths of emotional pain. He looked around him at the city through which they passed; throngs of people going about their daily routine in this land they called home. As he looked out at the sprawling city passing by, he realized that the chance of encountering Elizabeth while he was here was very slim.
The ride from the dock to the Annesleys’ home took close to an hour. The house was situated in a hilly area with modest homes built on narrow streets. As he watched block after block of neat little houses pass by, he suddenly realized they had stopped. His eyes looked up and down the house that bore the number he knew would belong to Mrs. Annesley’s son; the house where Georgiana had lived the past few months. Suddenly he ached even more, desirous to see his sister again and return to some sort of normalcy in his life. Seeing Georgiana would be the first step.
The driver hopped down, opening the door for Darcy, and he proceeded up to the front door while his things were procured. He took in a deep breath, brushed a hand through his hair, and straightened his clothes. Then he knocked.
The last he had seen Mrs. Annesley’s son was at their wedding, which had been several years ago. That was also the first and last time he had ever seen his wife. So when the young Mrs. Annesley opened the door, he did not at first recollect her.
“Excuse me, but I am Fitzwilliam Darcy, looking for Georgiana.”
The woman smiled and opened the door wider for him to enter. “Yes, of course! We have been expecting you, Mr. Darcy! I am Christine Annesley, Martin’s wife. Please come in!”
Darcy walked in and looked around the modest room. He had not known what to expect their living conditions to be, but knew that Martin Annesley was making only a moderate living.
Christine Annesley invited him to sit down and she excused herself to call his sister. Darcy, however, remained standing as she quickly ascended the staircase.
The sound of feet purposefully hitting the floor drew his attention upwards, and he waited anxiously for his first glimpse of Georgiana. She appeared at the top of the stairs, clasping her hands together, and then took the stairs down in a very brisk, yet ladylike manner.
Darcy started toward her and met her a few steps up from the bottom. Being a step above him, Georgiana was easily able to throw her arms around his neck while he brought his arms around her in a firm hug. Normally the affection this brother and sister showed for each other was fervent, but displayed in a rather swift manner. Georgiana was quite surprised, then, when he held on to her for an unusually prolonged amount of time. She attributed it to her considerable absence and the distance that had separated them.
Darcy’s things were brought in and Christine suggested she show him to his room so his things could be taken to it. He offered to stay at an inn if need be, but neither she nor his sister would hear of it. Georgiana had determined that when he arrived, she would move in with Mrs. Annesley and he could have the room she had been staying in.
They went upstairs, Darcy carrying his duffel and the driver carrying his trunk, and walked into a very small, but practical room. He placed the duffel on the floor, as did the carriage driver with his trunk, who then took his leave after Darcy took care of the fare. Darcy looked around him, feeling very much out of place, very far away from home, and exceedingly torn as to whether he wanted to leave and return to England as soon as possible, or remain and take every opportunity to find Elizabeth.
Christine Annesley observed Darcy look about him at the room and was troubled that he might consider the accommodations inferior. She offered up a soft apology. “I know, Mr. Darcy, that the room is not what you are used to…”
Darcy put up a hand and began shaking his head. “Mrs. Annesley, please do not worry yourself about it. It will do very well.”
Georgiana walked up to him and, leaning up to him, gave him a kiss. “You must want to settle in. I shall be downstairs and look forward to hearing about your voyage.”
Darcy tried to smile. “And I shall enjoy hearing about your adventures here!”
Georgiana and Christine left the room, and Darcy began unpacking his things. He was anxious to get most of his things and himself washed, as there had been very little opportunity to do that onboard. The clothes from his trunk had not been worn, and he eagerly pulled them out. He began putting things away, and was halted when he came upon Elizabeth’s sampler and his marriage certificate. His heart raced as he considered how he must conceal them so they would not be found. He pulled out one of the books he had brought along and, carefully folding the license, placed it inside. He took the book and placed it in one of the drawers underneath his clothes.
The sampler he was not too worried about, although he would have an awkward time explaining it if it was found. He glanced again at the meticulous stitches, her script that so easily flowed from one letter to the next, and her initials that had so cleverly become a part of the flowers. He simply slipped it underneath the book that was now holding the marriage certificate.
With his things put away, he collapsed into a medium-sized chair that was situated in a corner of the room. Anchoring his elbows on his knees, he brought his hands up, making a cradle for his heavy head. He dug his fingers through his hair as he stared down at the floor beneath him. He needed to pull himself together, for his sake and for Georgiana’s sake.
Realistically he could not expect to see Elizabeth while he was here. If he were to see her, it would be purely accidental. With that realization, he set his mind to seek her out when she returned to England.
He began to contemplate when he would be able to do that at the earliest. Elizabeth had said her aunt and uncle were to be in America six to nine months. They had been there three months when Pemberley’s Promise had left England. When they arrived in America a month later, four months would remain. She might return anywhere from two to five months from now. He sighed. Five months seemed like an eternity! Then there would be the long voyage home.
It would make it easier if Wendell met with success in finding out where she lived. If need be, however, he would visit every village and town in the county of Hertfordshire that began with the letter “L” until he found her. He stood up, looked in the mirror, and straightened his coat. Somehow he would get through this. Right now he had to think of Georgiana.
***
The next few days with the Gardiners had proven to be a safe, healing haven for Elizabeth. She was able to rest, take wonderful walks with her aunt and the children, visit the main town, and taste some exotic foods that she found delicious. What most intrigued her was the patchwork of people from numerous countries that made up this city.
New York had originally been called New Amsterdam, and Manhattan had been settled predominantly by Dutch immigrants. She saw the effects of that everywhere, as stores and businesses had a very distinct Dutch flavour to them. But interspersed among them were little sections of the town boasting names from Germany, Italy, Spain, Norway, and places Elizabeth had never heard of.
Ethnic pockets seemed to form, with people from one country settling together, their language and culture being their bond. But they all made up this great place called New York.
When Mr. Gardiner was able to spare a few days away from his business appointments, they took excursions around the area. They enjoyed taking small barges across the Hudson and the East Rivers, and visited other parts of New York, although Manhattan seemed to be the most sprawling and growing place they visited.
Elizabeth found herself looking forward to these little excursions, as they provided her with an appreciation for the area that she would have never known.
But as much as she tried, she could not disguise or hide her pain from her aunt and uncle. They were acutely aware something was not setting right with her, and only hoped in time Elizabeth would feel comfortable enough to talk with them about it. In the meantime, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner tried to make her feel as much at home and loved as they could.
One evening, after everyone had gone off to bed, Elizabeth felt compelled to remain up and read. She sat alone in the sitting room, trying to concentrate on a book she was reading, but was making very little progress. She knew if she were to climb into bed now, her thoughts would overwhelm her. At least with a book in hand, she could attempt to divert her thoughts from the direction they were inclined to go by putting herself in the novel that was before her.
As she sat there, she heard a noise, and turned to see Caleb quietly walking toward her.
“Caleb!” exclaimed Elizabeth. “Why are you not in bed?”
“I couldn’t sleep. My eyes are wide awake!”
Elizabeth smiled. “Caleb, all you have to do is close your eyes and you will fall asleep.”
Caleb adamantly shook his head. “When I close my eyelids, my eyes are still wide open underneath!”
Now Elizabeth laughed. She had to admit that sometimes she felt like that.
“Do you want to sit here with me awhile, then?”
Caleb nodded and climbed up into her lap. When he was comfortably situated, he asked, “Lizzy, are you unhappy?”
Elizabeth gave a start and looked down at him. “Why would you ask that, Caleb?”
Caleb shrugged his shoulders. “I heard Mama and Papa saying how unhappy you seem.”
Elizabeth closed her eyes and drew in a very slow breath.
Caleb continued. “Are you not happy to be with us?”
“Oh no, Caleb! I love being with you! You must believe me. I am very happy to be here with you!”
Caleb smiled, content with his older cousin’s words. He sat there quietly while Elizabeth drew her fingers back and forth through his hair, and at length she recognized the telltale sound of his deep breathing. He had fallen asleep.
She carried him back into his room and gently placed him on his bed. Her heart ached that her aunt and uncle knew she was hurting, and now even this little boy knew as well. She determined that beginning tomorrow she would make every attempt to return to her former, lively self.
And that she did. Even though Mrs. Gardiner saw occasional glimpses of pain beneath her lively exterior, Elizabeth put every effort into enjoying her stay in America. The places they saw and the people they met were beyond Elizabeth’s expectations.
***
Darcy and Georgiana were able to take in some of the sights in the area, despite his original intent to bring his sister back with him directly. He willingly acquiesced to Georgiana’s insistence that he visit some historical and scenic places in the area, thereby delaying their return a few weeks. But it was not so much out of a desire to see anything that he put off their immediate return; it was the lingering hope that he might have a fortuitous encounter with Elizabeth.
Wendell had done some investigating about the ships in port, and found that another of Stearnes’ ships, the English Maiden , was scheduled to depart New York for London about two weeks later than Pemberley’s Promise . Darcy booked passage for himself and Georgiana aboard that vessel, securing again two of the finer cabins, and they made plans to leave accordingly.
The month in America passed more quickly than he would have anticipated. He had begun to feel out of place and in the way staying with the Annesleys, and although they always extended him gracious hospitality, he was ready to leave when the time came.
The elder Mrs. Annesley, although burdened with an illness that made getting around difficult, was very grateful that Mr. Darcy understood her predicament and took it upon himself to retrieve Georgiana. She would have felt terribly distressed if she thought Georgiana would have to return to England unescorted.
After a tearful goodbye on Georgiana’s part, knowing that she most likely would never see her companion again, they departed the modest Annesley home. Their belongings were stowed in trunks and duffels, and they looked ahead to another month-long voyage at sea heading home.
Driving through the streets of New York on the way to the harbour the day they were to depart, they passed through a rather crowded business district. Both Darcy and his sister sat quietly in contemplation. Georgiana was suddenly startled when Darcy violently jumped from his seat and pressed his face to the windowpane. She watched in complete amazement as something seemed to unnerve him immensely. At first he violently pounded on the front of the carriage for them to stop. When the carriage continued at its moderate pace, he lowered the window, putting his head out, and called out, “Elizabeth!”
Georgiana’s eyes widened as he pounded again, and then yelled out the carriage window for the driver to stop. This time the driver heard him, and as the carriage slowed, Darcy quickly opened the door and jumped out. Georgiana strained her head to see what he was about, and watched him run toward a lady who had walked past. All she could see of this woman was her bonnet as she continued down the crowded street.
When he caught up with her, she saw him speak, and then he suddenly backed away, looking rather sheepish, and returned slowly to the waiting carriage.
Georgiana was in complete shock, never having seen her brother behave in such a reckless way, and wondered who this Elizabeth was, and why she caused such a reaction in him. When he returned, she sat completely bewildered, as Darcy climbed back into the carriage feeling somewhat foolish.
With her eyebrows pinched together in confusion, she asked him, “Fitzwilliam, who was that?”
He nervously rubbed his hands together, and avoiding her gaze only answered, “It was someone I thought I recognized. I was mistaken.”
She continued to watch his countenance and could not help but consider his brooding disposition lately and this most uncharacteristic outburst. She wondered if both had something to do with someone named Elizabeth.