Two months later, there is no more mention about the nigga who attacked me. There are no harassing phone calls to the salon. No mail; nothing. It’s like the nigga just vanished. Still, I am too leery to become overly excited. Until he’s picked up or bodied, and I know he’s off the streets; that he’s behind bars or buried, nothing is over. Nevertheless, I am thankful for the peace, no matter how short-lived it may be.
Jasper is home from the halfway house. I am still surprised at how fast he made it home. Only thing, he’s been released on parole for the next year. Of course he hates the shit. And bitches about it every chance he gets. “These cracker muhfuckas are always lookin’ for ways to keep a nigga down. They wanna see a muhfucka fail wit’ all this dumb shit they got me doin’?”
“Like what?” I asked him the last time he complained.
“Like this fuckin’ curfew, yo. What the fuck I look like bein’ in the muthafuckin’ house at nine o’clock? I’ma grown-ass man, yo. This nigga talkin’ ’bout if I’m one minute late he’s gonna violate me. What kinda shit is that? Shit, I coulda took my ass on ISP if I wanted to have a muhfucka breathin’ down my back e’ery fuckin’ day. That muhfucka needs some pussy in his life, yo. Maybe then, the nigga wouldn’t have so much free time ridin’ my nuts ’n shit.”
I am always so tempted to remind him that he got himself caught up in this shit so stop fucking complaining about shit he can’t control. Instead I keep my mouth shut. Let him vent. “A muhfucka can’t even get his drink or smoke on fuckin’ wit’ these crooked-ass muhfuckas.”
I had to smile, shaking my head. I realized it wasn’t the fact that he was on parole that was his issue. He was pissed that he didn’t have his parole officer in his back pocket, like he’s had everyone else his whole bid; from CO’s to counselors.
Anyway, aside from his “detailing job” five days a week and checking in weekly with his parole officer, Jasper’s been pretty much hanging around the house. And for the most part, it’s fine ’cause I’m down at the salon the majority of the day. The weekends haven’t been so bad. Most times he’s out with Stax doin’ whatever they do. Or he has everyone chilling here. The only problem: I can’t get away with shit. If I sneeze wrong, he’s on it. This fool watches me like a damn hawk. He won’t let me out of his sight. And when he does, he’s calling every ten to fifteen minutes checking on me. Even when we’re in bed, I can feel him watching me. A few times I woke up with him standing over me watching me sleep. Ever since he found out about that incident with that nigga, he’s become excessively possessive and protective over me. It’s not all the time. Mostly when something snaps in his brain and has him thinking crazy shit, like I’m out doing some sneaky shit, which I’m not. Hell, I’m too damn paranoid to.
“Yo, wake ya sexy ass up,” he says, shaking me. I don’t budge. “Pasha? Get ya ass up, yo.”
I groan, stretching. “Fifteen more minutes.”
“Don’t you have to go into the salon today?”
“No,” I mumble. He asks why not. I tell him, “I have a doctor’s appointment this morning.” He wants to know what kind of appointment. “For a checkup.” I decide this nigga isn’t going to let me get any sleep so I might as well get up. I pull the covers back and get out of bed.
“What kinda check-up?”
“I have a GYN appointment,” I tell him, bending over to look in one of the bottom drawers for my pink camisole. He gets out of bed and walks up behind me, pressing his nude body into mine. He grinds his dick into me. I straighten my body, sucking my teeth. “Will you quit it, nasty?”
“What you need a GYN appointment for?”
“To make sure shit’s right,” I tell him. But the truth is I think I might be pregnant. I took a home pregnancy test last month, and it came back negative. Then I took another one two weeks ago, and that one was positive. I’ve been feeling feel strange lately. Hard to describe it, like something is fluttering in my stomach. So I decided to make an appointment.
“Yo, the only pussy checker you need is me. As long as that shit stays tight, it’s right.”
“Whatever,” I snap, rolling my eyes. “You get on my fucking nerves with that stupid shit.”
He laughs. “Yeah, you know what it is.”
“Yeah, what I know is your black ass ain’t getting any more of this pussy, so laugh at that.” I turn on the balls of my feet and head into the bathroom, popping my hips; pissed the hell off that he still makes snide remarks; subtle comments about me cheating. And I’m not. Okay, I was. But that’s beside the point. I’m not now, and that’s what matters. I know what you’re going to ask. Nooooo, I haven’t shut down my NastyFreaks4u page, yet. I haven’t had time to. And I haven’t logged into my Deep Throat Diva email account either. So, that should say something. Jasper follows behind me.
“Say, what?”
“You heard me,” I say, turning on the water to brush my teeth. I place my toothbrush under the water, then squeeze out a glob of Crest. I brush my teeth. Then spit and rinse.
“You buggin’ for real now. You know damn well I’m gettin’ up in that ass, so you need to cancel that dumb shit you talkin’, ya heard?”
“Whatever,” I say, shutting off the water.
He grabs me by the arm as I attempt to brush past him. He pulls me into him. “C’mon, baby. You know I was only fuckin’ wit’ you.”
I mush him in his face as he tries to kiss me. “Nigga, please.”
“C’mon, don’t start ya shit, yo. You got my dick all hard ’n shit.”
He presses himself into me. “That’s too bad,” I say, trying to ignore his growing dick. He interlocks his fingers into mine. Kisses me on the forehead, then slowly moves down to my nose, my lips, then nibbles on my neck. I don’t stop him, quickly forgetting my weak attempt at being mad at him. Before I know it, I have his hard dick in my hand, jerking it as we kiss. He slips his hand in between my thighs, plays with my clit, then dips two fingers into my sticky honey.
In no time, I am down on my knees, doing what I love most—sucking his dick. This is the only time—besides when I’m riding his dick—that Jasper submits. That he lets me have control.
I take him into my mouth and suck him, lovingly. Suck him with everything that is in me. He moans, grabs the back of my head, rocks on the back of his heels, trying to brace himself as I spit shine his nozzle.
I pull his dick from out of my neck, then begin twirling my tongue around the head of his dick, lapping at the precum. I lick the slit of his dick, then cup my lips around the head again, popping his dick with my lips and mouth. I take the shaft of his dick back in my mouth, then swallow him again. He lets out another moan of pleasure. I glance up at him and see that his eyes are shut, tight. The minute I tickle his balls with my tongue, Jasper’s leg starts to shake.
Two minutes later, I can feel the head of his dick swelling inside of my throat. I rapidly bob my head back and forth on his cock until he empties his balls down in my throat. I gulp his cream down, then pull his dick out of my mouth and suck and lick it clean, getting the last remaining drops of his creamy milk. I stand up, licking my lips. He kisses me, looking dazed, sliding his tongue back into my mouth. Jasper’s an undercover freak. Not too many niggas would tongue down their girl while she still has his nut on her tongue. But Jasper isn’t ever bothered by it. It seems to turn him on more. And that within itself turns me on even more.
When I am done, Jasper staggers back over to the bed and collapses. I turn on the shower and step in. By the time I get out, and walk back into the room, Jasper is sprawled out in the middle of the bed, snoring. I smile, getting dressed, then making my way to my doctor’s appointment to confirm what I already know in my heart.
Two weeks later, Jasper and I are in Philadelphia having an early dinner at Warmdaddy’s—a Rhythm & Blues soul food spot on Columbus Boulevard. I haven’t been to Philly in years, so when Jasper said he wanted to take a drive down here I was pleasantly surprised; particularly since he wanted to go to Penn’s Landing, the waterfront area of Center City. The weather was beautiful today so it was perfect for a stroll along the river, holding hands, talking and laughing. Something we haven’t done in years. It felt good to spend the day out of the house doing something other than fucking and sucking—which I do enjoy, don’t get me wrong. Still, the fact that Jasper wanted to get up early and do a road trip was a nice break from our normal Saturday routine.
After our stroll along the river, then ferry ride over to Camden, New Jersey to check out the Aquarium, we caught the ferry back to Philly, then walked over the bridge into South Street. Though long and exhausting, overall, it’s been a wonderful day.
Warmdaddy’s is packed as usual. We decide to eat upstairs instead of paying the extra cost to see a show. Once we’re seated, the waiter hands us our menus. At first glance, I already know what I’m going to have: the Southern Neptune Seafood Salad, and for my entrée the Eastern Coast Crab Cakes with a side of smoked turkey collards. It takes Jasper a while longer before he decides on having the Southern Fried Chicken Dinner—white meat, with a side of collards and macaroni and cheese.
The waiter takes our orders, then walks off. I am surprised when Jasper asks me what’s going on with the wedding. Usually he is not interested in any of the details; just how much it’s going to cost. We decided to have a formal, yet small intimate wedding. Well, actually I did. Still, we both agreed to keep it very small. Twenty-to-twenty-five people at the most. However, somehow, the list has grown to close to fifty guests.
He shakes his head. “Why we need all them muhfuckas there? I thought you said this was going to be a small wedding.”
“It is,” I tell him. “It’s still small enough for it to be intimate.”
He smiles. “Yeah, aiight.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Yo, it’s your day,” he says thoughtfully, “so do it however, beautiful.”
“No, it’s our day,” I correct him, reaching over and touching his hand. He takes mine into his and brings it up to his lips, kissing it.
There’s a moment of silence between us before he asks, “Are you happy?”
Though his question catches me by surprise, I nod, smiling. “Do you even have to ask? I’ve waited my whole life for this. To be married, have my own family. I love a man who I know loves me back. How could I not be happy? I have everything I could ever want.”
“You sure about that?” he asks, sounding almost skeptical.
I tread lightly. “Jasper, please, let’s not ruin a potentially wonderful evening with this. Of course I’m sure.”
“Oh, aiight; just checkin’.”
“And if I told you I wasn’t?” I ask, pushing the envelope.
He smirks. “Then I’da told your sexy-ass to get over it; too fuckin’ bad. You’re stuck wit’ me. And that’s what it is. ’Til death do us part, baby.”
His emphasis on death makes me jittery and on edge. I shift in my seat, relieved when the waiter returns to the table with our pan of homemade cornbread.
“You know I love you, right?”
Cautiously, I nod, cutting a slice of cornbread. “I know you do. I love you, too.” I bite into the buttery sweet bread, practically moaning. It’s delicious.
“This, you and me,” he says, cutting himself a piece as well. “Is real, baby. You do understand there’s no turning back, right?” He keeps his stare locked on mine, placing the knife down. The way he’s looking at me, there’s a mixture of love and something else I can’t quite put my finger on—suspicion, yeah, that’s it—in his eyes.
He takes a bite into his bread, and smiles. “Yo, this shit is bangin’.”
I agree, hoping it changes the course of this conversation. “It tastes like cake. I could eat this whole pan,” I add, cutting another slice.
“No doubt. Listen,” he pauses. His intense stare dashes any hopes that this discussion is. “You got anything you wanna tell me? No jokes, no games, keep it a hunnid.”
I blink, shocked at the question. I am relieved when the waiter returns with my salad and Jasper’s cell rings. He ignores it. I share half of it with Jasper. Jasper tells the waiter he would like to order a Chimay Grand Reserve, then looks over at me to see if I want something. As bad as I want one of their mango mojitos, I decline. Order myself a passion fruit punch instead.
While I’m eating my seafood salad, it gets quiet between us. I find myself wondering why he asked if I had something to tell him. Other than being pregnant, what else would he think I had to tell? I shake it from my head, shifting to thoughts of being a mother. I try to imagine what our baby will look like. Will he or she have Jasper’s dark beautiful skin tone? Will he or she have my eyes, or Jasper’s? I wonder what kind of baby Jasper was. Was he a happy, always cooing-and-smiling baby, or was he one of those fussy, whining-colicky babies?
I steal glances at Jasper and smile. In less than three months, I’ll be almost five months pregnant and Jasper and I will be married. Of all the bitches he’s fucked, I’m the one who’s giving him a child; I’m the one he’s wifing.
He looks up from his plate, catches my smile. “Why you smilin’?”
“When you asked me if I had something to tell you, I do.”
He leans up in his seat, resting his elbows up on the table as if he’s waiting for me to drop a bomb on him. “Oh, word?”
“It’s a secret I’ve been keeping; actually a surprise for you,” I say, grinning now from ear-to-ear. “I was going to wait a little longer to tell you, but I can’t hold it in any longer.”
“And what’s that?”
“I’m pregnant.”
His eyes widen. “You’re pregnant?” he asks, clearly surprised about the news. I nod. “Stop playin’ wit’ me, yo. You carryin’ my seed for real?”
“Yes, baby. That’s why I was going to the doctor’s a couple of weeks ago. I went to get tested. I’m five weeks pregnant.
His face lights up with a wide Kool-Aid smile. “Oh, shit, that’s wassup, baby.” He pulls me toward him, leans in and kisses me on the lips. “Yo, you just made me the happiest man alive, word up, yo.” He flags the waiter over. “Yo, my man, skip the beer. Let me get a bottle of that Dom P. My wife’s pregnant, yo.” The waiter congratulates us, and the couple sitting in earshot next to us does the same. Jasper goes to pull out his phone to call all his people to share the news, but I quickly stop him.
“No, baby, let’s wait,” I say, grabbing his hand. “I want to keep this between us for now. Let’s surprise everyone in a few more months.”
“Oh, aiight. No doubt.” He leans over and kisses me again. “I’ma be a father. I love the hell outta you, girl.” When the waiter returns with the bottle of champagne, he pours it into flutes. Jasper waits for him to walk off, then raises his glass. “To us. Me, you and our beautiful baby; together forever.”
Our glasses click. And for the rest of the night, Jasper talks incessantly about our life together and how nothing will come between us; how he’s going to give his child everything he never had; and be what his father could never be: A dad. A tear slides down his handsome face. He quickly brushes it away. I reach over and grab his hand; kiss it. It is the first time I’ve ever seen my man cry.