PENNY SAT IN HER OFFICE long after Gloria had left. She had to wait for the shaking to stop before she could catch her breath. That hadn’t just happened, she told herself, even though she knew it had. No one could imagine an encounter like that. At least not on purpose.
“A nightmare,” she murmured. “That woman is a nightmare.”
She put her arms on her desk and rested her head on them. It was fine, she told herself. She was fine. Gloria could scream and yell and tell all the lies she wanted, but Penny refused to believe them. There was no way that old bitch was going to drive a wedge between her and Cal.
Of course she knew he was only working at the restaurant for four months. He’d told her that from the beginning. He wasn’t the man he had been three years ago. He didn’t keep secrets anymore. She knew about Lindsey and Dani and why he’d tried to keep her out of the family business. Honestly, after Gloria’s last visit, his motivation seemed more noble than ever.
But he hadn’t mentioned anything about expanding The Daily Grind back east.
“No,” she said as she sat up. “No, no, no. I won’t let her get away with this.”
Cal wasn’t leaving. He would have told her. They’d become friends. They were lovers. Their lives were entwined in a way they hadn’t been since they were married. She mattered to him. She had to because she was totally in love with him.
“Everything is fine,” she said aloud. But the words didn’t sound right and she didn’t believe them.
Hating herself for letting Gloria get to her, she found an old phone book in her bottom desk draw and looked up the corporate headquarters for The Daily Grind. After a receptionist answered, she asked for someone in charge of their corporate expansion.
CAL SAT in his office at The Daily Grind and considered his life. After tallying up the wins and losses, he knew he’d come up short of even, which meant he needed a new game plan.
Dani was furious at him, and rightfully so. He should have told her a long time ago. He should have known she was tough enough to hear the truth and that however it hurt her, better that she hear it from someone who loved her rather than from Gloria whose agenda was her own twisted secret. Dani would survive, but the timing sucked, coming on the heels of Hugh’s shitty behavior.
He should have listened to Penny.
Shaking his head, he turned to his computer, but instead of the screen, he saw Penny’s smiling face. So much had happened so quickly, he thought. So much had changed. After the divorce he’d assumed she was out of his life forever. He’d resisted taking the job at The Waterfront because he didn’t want to deal with Gloria. But she’d guilted him into it and because of that, he and Penny were…
Were what? Back together? He wouldn’t go that far, but they mattered to each other. Once again he’d fallen for her smile, her brain, her talent. She was funny and beautiful and fearless.
She was strong. Having a baby on her own. He never would have guessed that one, even knowing how much she wanted children. She would be a great mom.
He stood and walked to the window. His side of the building looked toward Lake Union. As he stared out on the cloudy sky, he thought about her growing bigger with her baby. About her giving birth…by herself.
No, not by herself. Naomi would be there. And Dani. Reid. Would he? Would he want to be in the room with her, holding her hand, telling her to breathe?
The question immobilized him. What did he want with Penny?
Instantly Lindsey came to mind, but for once he didn’t think about all he’d lost by giving her up. Instead he thought about her life. How much her parents loved her. How much she was their world. They didn’t care that they hadn’t created her themselves.
It could be like that, he thought. For him and Penny’s baby. Loving a child wasn’t about biology. It was about the heart.
Seventeen years ago, he’d made the only choice that made sense. Now, with hindsight, he knew it was the right choice. He’d allowed guilt and anger to blind him to that. He’d punished himself by refusing to be happy.
He swore under his breath. That blindness had cost him his marriage, he realized.
How long had he been holding his heart in check so he didn’t get hurt? All his life? Maybe since his parents had died. Maybe since Gloria had started running his world with her twisted rules and cruel threats.
“Damn,” he muttered. “Get some therapy and move on, guy.”
He would move on, but not by himself. He loved Penny and he’d learned enough to make things work with her, if she would give him a chance.
Talk about an uphill battle, he thought grimly. If she knew he hadn’t wanted children before, children who were his, why would she believe he was willing to accept someone else’s baby?
He would convince her, he told himself. He would make her understand what was in his heart. He would tell her he’d finally learned what it meant to love someone. To love her.
He walked back to his desk and started to shut down his computer. Before it had finished, his assistant buzzed him.
“Yes,” he said.
“There’s someone to see you. Penny Jackson.”
Penny? “Send her in.”
He’d hoped to have a little time to figure out what he was going to say, but maybe it would be better to simply tell her now. The sooner he started convincing her, the sooner they could begin their life together.
The door opened. He stepped toward her, then stopped when he saw the fury in her eyes.
“You snake,” she said, her voice low and angry. “You lying, scummy, slithery snake. I consider myself a reasonable person. I’m willing to overlook a lot. I give second chances, but you are disgusting.”
He crossed to her and reached for her shoulders. She quickly stepped back.
“Don’t you dare touch me. Don’t ever touch me again.”
Cold panic slipped through him. “What the hell happened?”
She glared at him. “I defended you. I can’t believe it, but I did. Gloria came by for one of her emotional hit-and-runs. I defended you and all the time it was true.”
He opened his mouth to ask what she was talking about when he suddenly knew. He groaned.
“You’re leaving,” she said. “In less than a month you’re packing it all up and leaving Seattle. I understand everyone is very excited about The Daily Grind expanding back east. Too bad I don’t have stock in the damn company.”
“Penny, no.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t try to tell me it’s not true, Cal. I’ve already spoken to someone at your company. He was very friendly and explained the whole damn plan.”
Tears filled her eyes. She brushed them away with her hand. “I believed you,” she said. “I trusted you.”
“I’m sorry,” he said as sincerely as he knew how. “I should have told you.”
“Oh, right, but it just slipped your mind.”
“Yes,” he yelled. “I forgot! With all the crap going on lately, is that so much of a surprise? When I first hired you I told you I was the GM for four months. I didn’t think you cared what I did after that. Later, when we got involved, I planned to tell you but it wasn’t foremost on my mind. I didn’t keep this from you deliberately. It just happened. Besides, I’ve been talking to my partners. I’ve been rethinking my plans. It might be better if I stayed here.”
“Might be better?” she screamed. “That’s the best you can do? But it might not? Tell me, when do you plan to make up your mind?” She raised her hand. “On second thought, forget it. I don’t care anymore.”
She closed her eyes, then opened them. “I am such a fool,” she said, her voice back to normal, but so thick with sadness that he ached to hear her.
“You’re not,” he told her.
“A lot you know. You’re the reason. You’d think I’d learn. What’s that old saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Well, shame on me.”
What did that mean? He knew he was in deep shit with Penny, but he couldn’t help a flicker of hope deep inside.
“Penny?”
“Don’t even go there,” she told him. “Not anymore. I loved you, Cal. Maybe for the second time, maybe I never stopped. I don’t know and now I don’t care. Because the truth is, you’re no different than you ever were. You still keep secrets. You’re still holding back, playing it safe, making sure you don’t get hurt. You’re still not willing to put your heart on the line. I’m not interested in a man like that. I’m not interested in someone I can’t trust.”
“But you love me.”
She grimaced. “I’ll get over it. And you.”
“But I love you, too.”
She stared at him for a long time, then turned toward the door. “I’ve heard that before and I know how little those words are worth.”
“IF THIS IS GOING TO become a regular occurrence,” Naomi said from her place next to Penny on the sofa, “then we’re going to need to establish some ground rules.”
Penny used the tissue to wipe her face, although she wasn’t sure why she bothered. No mattered how quickly she mopped up her tears, there were plenty of new ones to take their place.
“A code so we can call each other on the phone,” Naomi said as she continued to rub Penny’s back.
“A schedule so we don’t all break down at the same time,” Dani said from Penny’s other side.
“T-that would be good,” Penny said as she tried to fight the sobs building up inside of her.
She’d been hurt before-mostly by Cal-but somehow this felt worse. Maybe because she’d thought she’d figured everything out. She thought she’d found the solution, only to realize she’d been wrong about everything.
Despite the ache around her heart and the sense that she would never again draw breath without wanting to scream, she knew she had to do her best to get past what had happened. At least the physical part. Her trembling, sobbing, angry state couldn’t be good for the baby.
“You guys are great,” she said, trying to focus on them instead of herself. “For being here with me.”
“Hey, I don’t have a job,” Dani said with a sigh. “Where else would I be?”
Penny did her best to smile. “Good point.”
“I work for you,” Naomi said. “You’re the boss. You say jump, I say how high.”
“Also good.”
“So we’re not here because we care,” Dani said.
Penny sniffed. “That’ll put me in my place.”
The two women leaned in and hugged her.
“I’m sorry,” Dani whispered in her ear. “I never knew my brother was such a big butthead.”
“Yeah,” Naomi said. “I’d nearly forgiven him for being a bastard the last time. I’ll never forgive him for this.”
“That’ll show him,” Penny said, then choked on a sob. “Oh, God. I don’t think I can get through this. I know wounds heal and time helps and all that crap, but right now, I don’t think I can do it.”
“We’re here,” Naomi told her.
“Not going anywhere,” Dani added.
“I just thought this time was different,” Penny said as she wiped her face with another tissue. “I thought he was different. I thought I mattered. I fell back in love with him.”
“Men’ll get you every time,” Dani said as she leaned against Penny’s shoulder. “I just didn’t think Cal…” She paused, then said. “I’m sorry. I’m fighting the urge to defend him. I want to tell you that he had a hard time, being the oldest. Gloria, trying to protect us. The usual. But I won’t.”
“You can,” Penny said. “How sick is that? I wouldn’t mind listening to you defend him.”
“Typical,” Naomi murmured. “I forgive you.”
“Thanks.” She drew in a deep breath and did her best to absorb the support from her friends. “I thought he was different. I thought he would be willing to take a chance on us. I was so stupid.”
“Loving someone is never stupid,” Naomi said. “It can hurt like hell, but it’s never stupid.”
“I agree,” Dani said. “I say that even as I feel like the world’s biggest idiot. I mean, my soon-to-be ex-husband is currently sleeping with one of his students. So I’m not just stupid, I’m a bad cliché. But there’s hope. I can still laugh at things and I have you guys.”
“I’m glad we’re together,” Penny said, putting her arms around both of them. “You’re right. This will get better. I have so much in my life. The restaurant, the baby. My family. And the good news is with Cal leaving, I don’t have to worry about running into him anywhere. I would really hate that.”
More tears filled her eyes. “I seem to be leaking again.”
“That’s okay. Things could be worse,” Naomi told her. “I’m not sure how, but they could.”
Penny laughed. “You are always a ray of sunshine.”
“That’s me.”
Penny looked at her friend. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
Naomi straightened. “What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere.”
“Of course you are. I’ve known you a long time and I know you’re not the type of person who runs away from things. You’ve always lived on your own terms.”
Naomi snorted. “I’m the queen of running away. I’ve been on the run nearly eight years.”
“It’s time to go back.”
Naomi shook her head. “I haven’t decided.”
“Of course you have. You wouldn’t have told me about your son if you weren’t already halfway out the door.” She glanced at Dani. “Do you know what we’re talking about?”
Dani nodded. “We’ve been talking.”
Penny glanced between them. “About what?”
“About nothing,” Naomi said firmly. “I’m not going to leave. You need me.”
Penny did. She couldn’t imagine having to go through all this without her friend, but it was wrong to expect Naomi to put her life on hold because she, Penny, had been stupid enough to get her heart broken twice by the same man.
“Of course you’re going,” Penny said briskly. “Like you said, you’ve been the queen of running away for eight years. It’s time to go connect with your family. To find out what you still have there in the way of a life.”
“You might still be married,” Dani said. “Given what you’ve been doing, wouldn’t that be interesting?”
Naomi shook her head. “Sam wouldn’t have waited. Not his style. I’m sure he’s divorced me by now,” she said, but her tone was wistful, as if she wanted to believe in the possibilities.
“See? You have to go,” Penny said quietly.
“I can’t leave you now. Not with everything going on and the baby coming. What about the restaurant? You need me.”
Dani looked at Penny. “I could do that.”
Penny stared at her. “But it’s The Waterfront. Why would you go work for your grandmother again?”
“I wouldn’t be. Your contract allows you to bring in your own crew, doesn’t it?”
“Hello,” Naomi said. “Still in the room. There’s no need to have this conversation right now.”
Penny ignored her. “Three people. I only brought in Naomi and Edouard because the rest of the crew is so great. So adding you wouldn’t be a problem.”
It could work, she thought. She and Dani hadn’t worked together, but they knew each other and she knew Dani put in long hours. She’d survived Burger Heaven nearly five years. She was tough and smart.
“The job is yours if you want it,” Penny told Dani.
Naomi stood. “You’re giving away my job? Just like that? What about the baby? You’re going to need help as you get closer to your due date.”
“I’ll be here,” Dani said. “I can help.”
“There,” Penny said. “You don’t have any more excuses.”
Maybe it wasn’t fair to push her friend, but thinking about Naomi’s life kept her from dwelling on the disaster hers had become. A disaster that would get a whole lot more lonely once Naomi left.
Penny stood and hugged Naomi. “I’ll miss you so much.”
Naomi squeezed her. “I won’t be gone that long. Just a few weeks.”
Or forever, Penny thought. Maybe Naomi would be lucky enough to find there was still a whole life waiting for her back in Ohio.
“Is this a chick thing or can anyone join in?”
Penny turned at the sound of Reid’s voice. “What are you doing here?”
“Hell of a way to greet me,” he said as he walked over and pulled her close. “Dani called me.”
“I thought you’d want him here,” Dani said. “Is that okay?”
Penny was too busy crying to do much more than nod.
Reid wrapped his arms around her. He was tall and strong and she felt as if she could lean on him forever.
“Go ahead and cry,” he said, smoothing her hair and rocking her gently. “My brother is a lying bastard and his days are numbered.”
“You can’t kill him,” Dani said. “Not even for Penny.”
Penny raised her head and sniffed. “I don’t want him dead.”
“Fine. I’ll just teach him a lesson. How’s that?”
Penny shook her head. “No fighting.”
Reid grunted. “I’m sorry,” he said.
That was enough to set her off again. She pressed her face into his chest. “It hurts so much. He doesn’t love me. He’s moving away and so’s Naomi and Dani’s going to help me but nothing is ever going to be the same.”
“I’m here and I love you,” Reid said.
“I know. That’s good.”
She raised her head again and looked at him. “Why couldn’t I fall in love with you?”
He smiled, then kissed her cheek. “Not a good idea, kid. I’m not one of the good guys. You’re better off with Cal or Walker.”
Penny didn’t think so but it didn’t matter. She and Reid could only ever be friends. The heart, ever a contrary organ, had apparently decided she could only love one man. Even if that man was destined to forever be breaking her heart.
CAL DROVE AROUND until sunset, then returned to his house. He wanted to go see Penny, but first he had to figure out what he wanted to say to her. Until then, he had a feeling showing up there would only make things worse.
She was right about him, he thought as he turned onto his street. She always had been. In the past, he’d been okay with that but this time he wanted things to be different. He wanted to be different.
He headed into his driveway and saw two other cars there. As he glanced toward the front door. He saw Reid and Walker on the porch, having what looked like a heated conversation.
“What’s up?” he asked as he climbed out of his car and walked toward them.
Reid glared at him. “You made Penny cry,” he said, his voice a low growl. “Nobody makes Penny cry.”
“So what does that mean?” Cal asked. “You’re here to make me pay?”
“You got that right.”
Cal shrugged, not the least bit worried about taking Reid on in a fight. His brother might be the same size and in great shape, but Cal had some repressed anger on his side.
He turned to Walker. “You gonna help him?”
Walker shrugged. “No. I’m here to make sure you don’t both kill yourselves.”
Cal knew fighting wouldn’t change anything one way or the other, but in that moment, he didn’t care. He wanted to lash out at someone and if his brother was willing to be a target, then that was good enough for Cal.
He stepped onto the lawn and beckoned Reid. “Bring it on, little brother.”
For a second he thought Reid wouldn’t react. Then his brother came flying at him.
Their bodies collided with a force that rattled every bone in his body. They both went down. Cal got to his feet first and was ready to defend himself when Reid came out swinging.
Cal ducked, got in a good punch to the gut that reverberated back to his elbow. Reid clipped his jaw, which made Cal stagger back a step. A couple more hits by each of them and he was rethinking his plan. He hadn’t been in a fight since he was thirteen years old and he’d forgotten how much they hurt.
Still, he liked the raw emotion pouring through him, the need to destroy that blocked out every other thought. He got in a one-two punch before Reid nailed him with a shot that reminded him his brother had a thunderbolt for a right arm.
Lazily, Walker strolled over and stepped between them.
“That’s enough,” he said calmly. “You’re both going to be regretting this in the morning.”
Cal touched his mouth and winced as he felt blood and rapidly swelling flesh.
The anger had drained out of him until he was left only with pain and a sense of loss so strong, it nearly drove him to his knees.
Penny. He’d screwed things up so badly with her, he didn’t know how to recover.
“I’ve lost her,” he said as he sank onto the damp lawn. “Haven’t I?”
Reid sprawled next to him. “You screwed up on a massive scale,” he said. “Naomi wants your balls.”
The part of him in question tightened into his body.
“What does Penny want?” he asked hoarsely.
“To not love you anymore.”
Reid couldn’t have hurt him more if he’d shot him. “She has to love me,” Cal whispered. She was all he had.
Walker crouched in front of him and touched a sore spot just above his eyebrow. “You’re going to need stitches for that.” He looked at Reid. “Your knuckles are pretty bad, too. Let’s go inside and I’ll patch up the two of you.”
Cal looked at Reid. “I’m sorry.”
His brother grimaced. “I’m not the one you should apologize to.”
“I know. But I’m still sorry.”
Reid shrugged, then stood. But instead of turning to the house, he held out his hand to Cal.
“You might be an asshole,” he said as he pulled Cal to his feet. “But you’re still my brother.”
They looked at each other and Cal knew that things were right between them. If only the situation with Penny were so easily resolved.
He took a step and had to hold in a groan. Blood dripped down from the cut beside his eyes and from his lip. His body ached and he felt about a hundred and fifty years old.
But before he could make it to the porch, a car pulled up. Cal glanced over to see if by some miracle, Penny had come to see him. Right now he would be happy if she were simply willing to yell at him some more.
But she wasn’t the one who stepped out of the vehicle. Instead Lindsey opened the passenger’s door and got out.
She was too thin and wearing a scarf over her head, but he’d never seen anything so beautiful in his life.
“Lindsey,” he called. “What are you doing here?”
She glanced from him to Reid and Walker. “Um, is this a bad time?”
“No.”
“But you’re…” She squinted. “Have you been fighting?”
He groaned. Talk about perfect timing. “Yeah, well, my brother and I had something we had to work out.”
Lindsey’s eyes lit up. “Brothers. Both of them?”
He nodded. “This is Reid and this is Walker.”
“Wow,” she breathed. “Uncles.”
His heart stood still. “What did you say?”
She looked at him and her smile quivered a little at the corners. “Um, I said uncles. That’s why I’m here. I just found out you’re my dad.”