“I WANT TO SAY it’s the salt,” Penny said as she picked through the bowl of nuts and fished out the hazelnuts. “But I think it’s more than that. If it was just about salt, then any nut would do. The craving is very specific.”
She glanced up to see Reid shudder.
“What?” she asked, holding in a laugh. “You don’t want to hear about my cravings?”
“Not especially. Some of them have grossed me out.”
“This from a guy who used to spit on national television.”
Reid wiped another glass and set it behind the bar. “I never spit.”
“All baseball players spit.”
“Some don’t.”
“What is up with that, anyway? Why all the spitting? Don’t the mothers call and say it’s disgusting? Because it is. Yuck.” She touched her stomach. “Okay, change of subject. I’m making myself queasy.”
“Fine by me.”
Lucy came out of the kitchen and walked toward the bar. “Here you go, hon.”
Penny took the large root beer float and sighed. “You’re a goddess. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. I just turned in the order.” Lucy looked at her boss. “Want anything?”
“Not right now. Thanks.”
Lucy smiled and walked toward the lone table of customers in the bar.
It was three-that quiet time between lunch and happy hour. Penny knew she had to get back to The Waterfront fairly soon, but she fully intended to indulge herself first.
While Reid watched and pretended to gag, she dumped the hazelnuts into the float, then dug in with a spoon. The combination of cold, fizzy liquid, smooth, melting ice cream and crunchy, salty nut was pure heaven.
“You’re just jealous,” she said after she swallowed, “because you didn’t think of this combination.”
“Uh-huh. That’s me. Jealous.” He leaned back and folded his arms over his chest. “You seen Walker yet?”
“No, and I can’t wait to. I was so surprised when Cal told me he’d left the marines. I didn’t think that would ever happen.” She glanced around the empty bar. “Is he coming here?”
“At some point. You sure are happy about him being home.”
She grinned. “I am. And don’t worry. I’ll never love Walker the way I love you,” she teased.
“Like I care about that.”
He probably didn’t. She and Reid had been friends too long for him to sweat she would ever leave him. Sometimes she thought that she and Dani were the only consistent females in his life.
“Your real problem is Naomi,” she said as she scooped another spoonful of ice cream. “She’s never met Walker. You know how women fall for guys in the military.”
“It’s very possible she’ll be interested.”
She glanced at Reid. “That’s it? You don’t care if the woman you’re currently sleeping with wants to move on to someone else?”
“Naomi and I understand each other. We have a good time together.” He grinned. “A very good time.”
She winced. “I don’t want details.”
“Your friend is very-”
“Stop!”
He chuckled. “Okay. I’ll play nice. Naomi and I are the same. We want to be involved as long as it’s good. When it stops being fun, or one party loses interest, it’s time to move on.”
She’d seen them in action long enough to believe he was telling the truth. But seeing and believing weren’t the same as understanding.
“Don’t you ever want something more familiar?” she asked.
“Why? Variety keeps things interesting.”
“For a while, but people are hard-wired to pair bond.”
“Cal always said I had a screw loose.”
She stuck a straw into her float. “Reid, I’m serious. I worry about you. Doesn’t the series of one-night stands get old? Don’t you ever want to settle down?”
“No. Not even a little. Look around, Penny.” He waved at the bar. “I can have a different woman every night of the week. No one expects me to show up at a certain time, eat dinner and then watch TV. I can come and go as I please, my life is always interesting. Why would I trade that in for one woman, a couple of kids and a mortgage?”
“Because you fell in love.” It was a familiar discussion, but no matter how many times they had it, she never understood. “Don’t you want to be a part of something? Don’t you want to leave your mark on the world?”
“I’ll be in the history books.”
“Not because you were a great pitcher. Because you cared about someone. Because you-” She stopped. “Sorry. I know we agreed not to talk about this anymore. We always fight.”
He stepped toward her and briefly touched her cheek. “We don’t fight. You get upset because I don’t want what you think I should have.”
“I worry about you. I don’t want you to grow old alone, with no one to care about you.”
“I’m okay with that.”
Was he? How was that possible? While his lifestyle might sound fun to the average eighteen-yearold guy, she couldn’t help thinking that in the bright light of morning, it wasn’t all Reid made it out to be. But maybe that was just wishful thinking on her part.
None of the Buchanan men had been very successful at love. Only Dani had a happy, stable relationship, and she wasn’t even a Buchanan. A fact Penny still had trouble comprehending.
“How’s Junior?” Reid asked.
She suspected he was trying to change the subject and she figured that was probably a good idea.
“Good. I’m having a textbook pregnancy, although I still manage to freak out about everything.” She put her hand on her growing stomach.
“How much longer?” he asked, his eyes dark with concern.
“A week,” she said. “I know that crossing the date where I lost the baby before doesn’t mean anything, but it still feels like I’ll be able to relax a little once it happens.”
“It makes sense,” he said gently. “You want to break the streak.”
He was right.
“I keep telling myself I’m fine. The doctor says the same thing.”
“You’ll believe it when it happens,” he told her. “So what’s going on with my brother?”
She sipped on her float. “What do you mean? Cal’s fine.”
“He came in here ready to tear off one of my arms when he found out you were pregnant. He wanted to know all about the guy.”
Penny felt her cheeks heat and she was careful to focus all of her attention on the tall glass in front of her. “I doubt he was that upset.”
“You weren’t here. He wanted to beat the crap out of me.”
Unable to help herself, she looked at Reid. “I know that’s not true.”
“It may be an exaggeration, but there’s something going on.”
She thought about their last encounter. Their last, very personal, encounter. Funny how three years ago she’d been so angry and so hurt, she’d never wanted anything to do with Cal. But now…
“We work together,” she said. “We’re becoming friends.”
“Then why are you blushing?”
Guilt made her cheeks heat even more. “I’m not. It’s just…”
Reid waited patiently.
“It’s just…” She repeated, then sighed. “I can’t explain it. We’re getting along. It’s nice. We seem to appreciate each other now in a way we couldn’t before.” She held up a hand before he could say anything. “I mean that in a nonromantic sense. We’re different people. It’s as if the stuff I really hated about him is gone and only the good stuff remains. Or maybe I’m the one who changed.”
“Sounds like a lot of hooey to me,” Reid told her. “You’re not falling for him, are you?”
“What? Of course not. I’m pregnant.”
“How do those two concepts relate?”
“I’m only thinking about the baby. Cal doesn’t want children.”
Something flickered in Reid’s eyes. “He might. Like you said, he’s different.”
“Not interested, even if it is true,” Penny said. “I don’t need a man in my life.”
“So why are you all fired up to get me a woman?” he asked.
“I’ve committed to people in the past. You never have.”
“I’m committed to my family.”
True enough. He’d also committed to baseball, but she didn’t want to go there. She’d seen the pain in his eyes when the games came on television.
“I find it very interesting that you and Cal are getting along so well now,” he told her. “And that neither of you were interested in getting serious while you were divorced.”
Penny did her best to look innocent. “Really? Cal didn’t have any long-term relationships?”
“No. There were a few women, but nothing that mattered.”
“A few? How many?”
Reid grinned. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t. I’m curious.” More than curious. What women? Who had Cal dated?
“Sorry,” Reid said. “I don’t tell on my brothers. Not even for you.” He looked toward the front door. “Hey. What’s up?”
Penny turned and saw Dani walk into the bar.
She claimed the seat next to Penny. “Hi. How’s it going?” She peered at Penny’s float. “What is that?”
“A root beer float with hazelnuts.”
Dani winced. “Does that fall under the craving category?”
“Nope,” Reid told her. “It’s just plain gross.”
“Men don’t appreciate these sorts of things,” Penny said.
“I’m not sure I appreciate them either,” Dani told her. “How are you feeling?”
“Good. Getting a tummy.” She tugged at her sweater to show off her bump.
Dani eyed her stomach, then looked at Reid. “Can I get a Diet Coke?”
“Sure. Want anything to eat?”
“No, thanks. I just need the caffeine.”
“Busy day?” he asked as he handed her the glass of soda.
“Oh, yeah. Lunch was standing room only.”
She didn’t sound very happy about the fact, but Penny couldn’t blame her. Dani had only ever wanted to be successful in the family business and Gloria had stood in her way at every turn.
She remembered what Cal had told her, about Gloria threatening to tell Dani the truth about her father if he didn’t toe the line. Penny knew it wasn’t for her to decide, but a part of her thought it would be better if Dani knew the real reason Gloria wasn’t on her side.
She looked at her former sister-in-law. Dani was short, with light-brown hair and hazel eyes. Her features were more delicate than her brothers’ and completely feminine. She looked enough like them that no one would ever guess the truth, yet there was much that was different.
Her lighter coloring, her petite build. Dani wore her hair in a short, stylish bob. Her tailored slacks and cropped jacket suited her slender body. Looking at her, Penny felt like a cumbersome giant.
Dani sipped on her drink, then smiled at Reid. “I’m going to change the subject to something very girly that will probably make you uncomfortable.”
He instantly took a step back. “Thanks for the heads-up. You two have fun.” He quickly moved to the other end of the bar.
“Men are so predictable,” Dani said. “I really like that about them.”
“It does help. What’s up?”
“I wanted to talk to you about the in vitro fertilization you went through. Not now,” she added. “But would you be comfortable talking to me about it at some point?”
“Sure. You can ask me anything you’d like. Are you thinking of doing that yourself?” she asked, not sure if she was treading in dangerous territory.
Dani nodded. “Because of his injury, there are some things Hugh can’t do and that’s one of them.” She wrinkled her nose. “We do other stuff you probably don’t want to hear about.”
Penny grinned. “I’d like to be drunk first and I can’t drink right now.”
Dani laughed. “Fair enough. Anyway, that’s in our future, so I thought if you wouldn’t mind telling me about it, that would be great.”
“Sure. I’ll give you the name of my doctor, too. She’s fabulous. Very easy to deal with and completely understanding of the panic that goes with the whole process.”
“It’s expensive, right?”
“Oh, yeah. The cost seriously cut into my ‘open my own restaurant’ fund, but I knew I wanted a baby before my eggs turned to raisins.”
“Good plan.”
Penny fished out another hazelnut. “You have a few years before you have to worry about the eggs to raisins thing.”
“Not that many.” Dani rubbed her fingers against her glass. “Why didn’t you…” She glanced over her shoulder as if checking to make sure Reid was still at the other end of the bar. She lowered her voice. “Why IVF? You could have picked some guy to sleep with you. It would have been cheaper.”
“The very question my mother asked me,” Penny admitted, remembering her parents’ distress when she’d first told them what she wanted to do. “But with IVF I could get more information about the father’s family, see how the various traits looked, that sort of thing.” She thought for a second.
“I didn’t want the hassle,” she admitted. “I didn’t want to risk the father coming back to lay claim on his child.”
“You could have had him sign papers,” Dani said.
“Sure, but he could change his mind. What if in ten years he came back and said he wanted some visitation? I didn’t know how the courts would rule and I didn’t want to deal with it.”
“What about Reid?” Dani asked. “He wouldn’t have come back for visitation rights.”
Penny stiffened. “Sleep with my ex-husband’s brother? No, thanks. Talk about a giant ick.”
“Is that how you think of him? As Cal’s brother?”
“Only when someone talks about us having sex. And I believe he’d agree with me on that.”
Dani laughed. “Okay. Fair enough. Hugh and I talked about waiting a couple of years to get our lives in order before we started a family. He’s doing well at the university and I’m…” She sighed. “Anyway, I think this might be a good time. Maybe having a baby would distract me from other things.”
Penny touched her arm. “You mean being stuck at Burger Heaven?”
“Yeah. Gloria’s driven away the third president in about fifteen months. The thing is, I’m willing to deal with her. But does she ask me? Does she even give me a chance? I’m not saying I should run the company, but there has to be another way for me to contribute.”
“Like running The Waterfront?” Penny said, feeling sympathetic.
“Not to take away from Cal, but yeah. I could have done it.”
Penny smiled. “He’s only there for four months. Why don’t you start a campaign now to take over when he’s gone?”
Dani’s eyes widened. “But you’re the chef there-we used to be related. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable with someone else as general manager?”
“I think we’d work well together,” she said. “I know you’d do a terrific job.”
“Really? Wow. That’s great. Maybe I’ll talk to Cal and see what he thinks.”
“Cal will think it’s a fabulous idea,” Penny said. The real problem was going to be Gloria.
“Then I’ll start campaigning,” Dani said. “I swear if I didn’t need the incredible medical insurance for Hugh I would have quit Burger Heaven years ago. As soon as he gets tenure, I’m leaving the company. Well, unless I’m running The Waterfront.”
“So you have a plan.”
“Pretty much.” Dani sipped her drink, then put the glass on the bar. “I know it’s none of my business, but how are you and Cal working together?”
“We’re doing really well.” Penny shrugged. “I guess we had to get divorced and spend three years apart before we could become friends. How twisted is that?”
“I’m not sure. It’s just too bad you couldn’t work things out before.”
Penny nodded as if she thought so, too, but it wasn’t true. There was no way she and Cal could have remained married. Not when he’d broken her heart so completely.
Before getting married, they’d agreed to have children. The only fight had been over how many-three or four. When she’d first gotten pregnant, he’d been as delighted as she. They’d held on to each other, excited, scared and determined to do the best for their baby.
Over time, Cal had changed. By her fourth month, she’d started to wonder if he wanted children with her at all. He wouldn’t talk about the baby or even come with her to the doctor. And then she’d miscarried.
The first cramps had terrified her. She’d rushed to her doctor, but by the time she made it to the examining room, it was all over.
Cal had said all the right things, he held her while she cried, but she hadn’t believed him. In some ways, he’d seemed more relieved than sad.
She’d told herself it was wrong to judge him-that people expressed grief in different ways. But her suspicions had been confirmed a few months later when she’d suggested they try again.
She still remembered how he’d sat at the other end of the sofa, staring at the wall rather than looking at her. He’d told her flat out he didn’t want children. Not now, not ever. And he wouldn’t say what had changed his mind.
Wondering if he still loved her, she’d done all she could to get his attention. But somehow he slipped further and further away until she couldn’t reach his heart. In a last-ditch effort to get him to admit he still cared, she’d left. Her hope had been he would come after her and beg her to return. Instead he’d told her it was for the best.
CAL RAN THE TOTALS for the day. They were still ahead of projections and the reservations showed no signs of slowing. He wanted to claim the new dining room or advertising was responsible, but he knew it was a whole lot more about Penny’s menu.
“Got any leftovers?”
He glanced up and saw Walker in the doorway to his office. “Sure. I’ll have Penny get you something.”
He buzzed the kitchen. Naomi picked up.
“Why are you calling?” she asked by way of greeting. “Because you’re too important to walk the twenty or thirty feet from your office to the kitchen?”
“Exactly. Ask Penny to come out, would you?”
“It’s not like she works for you,” Naomi said.
“You might want to check the contract. She does and you do, too.”
“Oh, fine. Throw your authority around. Penny. You’ve been summoned.”
The phone went dead. Cal looked back at his brother. “She’ll be right out.”
The door to the kitchen opened. Penny walked out, a dishtowel in her hand. “You’re buzzing me?” she asked as she turned toward his office. “There’s nothing in the contract about buzzing-”
She broke off when she saw Walker. Her face lit up, her mouth curved in a wide, open smile and she ran as if being chased by wolves.
“Walker! You’re back!”
She launched herself at him with the confidence of a woman who knows she’s going to be caught. Walker grinned and wrapped his arms round her.
“Hey, Penny,” he said and leaned his head toward hers.
She did the same, so their foreheads touched. “You’re back. My favorite ever marine is back.”
Cal knew that Penny adored his brothers. She claimed it was because she grew up with two sisters and was desperate for some male point of view in her life.
Until that moment, Cal hadn’t cared one way or the other. But right then, watching Walker turn in a slow circle, Penny in his arms, her feet kicking behind her, he felt a definite need to growl.
He told himself he didn’t give a damn what Penny did in her personal life. She wasn’t his wife anymore. One or two kisses didn’t give him any rights, and he didn’t want any. He even told himself that Walker would never be interested in his ex-sister-in-law. But that didn’t take away the feeling of discomfort low in his gut.
Walker lowered Penny to the floor. She beamed at him. “Cal said you’re out of the marines. Are you really? For good?”
“It was time.”
“Yeah. I get to see you more. Okay, you have to come taste some stuff. I have the best fish and chips. You’ll die. And then you’ll beg me to tell you what’s in the recipe, but I won’t.”
Just then the kitchen doors opened and Naomi strolled out. She was dressed in black jeans and a tight red sweater that set off her long, wavy dark hair. She looked like a sexy Amazon on the prowl. Cal watched her gaze settle on Walker and gave his brother maybe thirty more seconds of freedom before Naomi claimed him.
“So this is Walker,” she said as she approached. “I’ve heard a lot about you but I was starting to think everyone had made you up.”
Penny sighed. “Oh, great. Another conquest. Walker, this is my friend, Naomi. Naomi, Walker. Be gentle, though. He’s just out of the marines.”
Cal held in a laugh at the thought of Penny trying to protect his tough baby brother. Then he wondered what Reid would think to know he’d been replaced.
“Ma’am,” Walker said, releasing Penny and offering his hand.
Naomi winced. “If you call me ma’am again, I’m going to have to take you down.”
“All right. Naomi.”
“Much better.”
Cal moved closer to watch the show.
Naomi looked Walker over. “If you’re just back from overseas, you might want someone to show you how Seattle has changed. I’d be more than willing.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I understand you’re seeing my brother.”
“Reid?” Naomi shrugged. “I was. But you know Reid. Fifteen minutes is about his attention span.”
“You don’t seem too broken up about it.”
She smiled. “That’s because my attention span is two minutes shorter. No bruised hearts. I’m not into getting serious, just getting involved.”
The invitation was clear. Cal had to admit that Naomi embodied sexual availability in a way that called to men.
Penny looked between them. “Whatever you decide, I still expect you to eat dinner with me, Walker,” she said.
“I wouldn’t do anything else,” he said, tugging on her long braid.
“Please have something to eat.” Naomi sighed. “You’ll need your strength.”
Walker looked at Naomi for a long time. “I appreciate the offer,” he began.
Her eyes widened. “You’re turning me down?”
“How about if I take a rain check?”
Cal braced himself for the explosion. To the best of his knowledge, no one had ever turned Naomi down. Then she surprised him by laughing.
“Your loss, soldier. If you change your mind, and you will, Penny has my number.”
She strolled back into the kitchen. Walker watched her go.
“Interesting lady,” he said.
“That’s the rumor,” Penny told him. “Are you really not interested, or are you playing hard to get so you can have her full attention?”
Walker’s expression shuttered. “I don’t play games.”
“Ha! It’s hard-wired into your gender. Okay, go find a seat. I’ll bring out food.”
“I don’t get to pick what I want?”
“Oh, please. On what planet?” She glanced at Cal. “Are you hungry? I can get another plate together.”
“Thanks.”
She returned to the kitchen and Walker looked at him. “Yours?”
Cal figured he meant the baby. “She would be my ex-wife.”
“You wanted to punch me out when she launched herself at me.”
Cal didn’t see how Walker could have known what he was thinking. He would have bet money it hadn’t shown. “No idea what you’re talking about.”
“Right. So you just hired your ex-wife because she’s a great chef?”
“Have you forgotten the year she cooked our Christmas dinner?”
“Good point. So how’s it going?”
“Good. Better than I would have thought.”
“And the baby?”
“She decided it was time. Went to a sperm bank. There’s no guy.”
Walker’s dark gaze locked with his. “Lucky break.”
THE THREE OF THEM SAT at one of the tables by the kitchen. Penny served two different salads, her famous fish and chips, a poached salmon dish, smashed potatoes, green beans with a mustard sauce and she promised something special for dessert, although she wouldn’t say what.
“Do you have any idea what you’re going to do now?” Penny asked after all three plates were full.
“Get my own place,” Walker said. He looked at Cal. “Not that I don’t love living with you.”
Cal chuckled. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”
“I appreciate that, but I want my own place. An apartment at first. Until I figure out where I want to live.”
“Are you rich?” Penny asked.
Cal and Walker both looked at her.
“What?” she asked. “It’s a serious question. I’m curious. Didn’t you invest in The Daily Grind?” she asked Walker.
“Uh-huh. Cleaned out my savings account for my big brother.”
“And you made a fortune,” Cal reminded him.
Five years ago Reid had been on his second multimillion-dollar contract and had offered to bankroll the whole thing. Cal had refused and instead had taken on multiple investors. Walker had been one of them.
“I did okay,” Walker said, then shrugged. “I don’t have to go to work anytime soon.”
“Will you get a job?” Penny asked.
Walker nodded.
Cal figured he had to. Walker wasn’t the kind of guy who enjoyed sitting around doing nothing.
“But first I have to find someone,” Walker said.
“Who?” Penny asked.
“A woman named Ashley.”
Cal looked at his brother. “A girlfriend?”
“Yes, but not mine. One of the guys in my unit was killed. Ben. He was a good kid. Not a great marine but he had a lot of heart. Ashley was his girl. He planned on marrying her when he got out. I have a letter to deliver to her, so I have to find her.”
Penny set down her fork. “You have more than just her first name, right? His family can help you locate her.”
The darkness returned to Walker’s eyes. “Ben didn’t have any family. He grew up in foster care. Four high schools in four years. I know she lived in the Seattle area when they were in high school and that her name is Ashley.”
Cal leaned back in his chair. “That’s not enough to go on.”
“Sure it is.” Walker picked up his glass of wine. “I can go through high school yearbooks until I find where Ben went to school, then get the names of all the Ashleys.”
“Couldn’t you hire a private detective or something?” Penny asked. “That’s a huge amount of work.”
“I have time,” Walker told her. “I want her to have the letter.”
Cal knew his brother well enough to recognize his stubborn expression. “Don’t argue, Penny. His mind is made up.”
“Good luck,” Penny said.
“Thanks.” He cut off a piece of the battered fish. “Great meal. The best I’ve had in nearly a year.”
“Thank you. I thought you’d like it. So why did you turn down Naomi?”
Cal winced. “Very smooth transition. Subtle.”
Penny shrugged. “I’m curious. You’ve been away a long time. I’m guessing there wasn’t a lot of, um, well, you know.”
“Sex,” Walker said calmly. “You’re saying there wasn’t a lot of sex to be had on my tour.”
“Something like that. Naomi is attractive and from all accounts, very skilled.”
“You’re offering me your friend?”
“No. I’m curious. Is it because she’s older?”
Walker shrugged. “She’s what? Thirty-eight? Thirty-nine?”
“Forty.”
“Perfectly seasoned,” he said. “It’s not the age thing.”
“Then what?”
“Then none of your business.”
She held out her fork like a weapon. “I’m pregnant. You have to be nice to me.”
Cal decided his brother needed rescuing. “Mariners should have a good season this year.”
“I heard that,” Walker said.
Penny rolled her eyes, then said, “The infield looks promising. Now if only we can come up with the hits.”
Conversation shifted to baseball, then the success of the restaurant, then to possible neighborhoods for Walker’s apartment.
Cal watched his brother skillfully dodge any personal questions. Walker might love Penny, but he wasn’t going to share more than he wanted to.
Secrets, Cal thought. They were a family who kept secrets.