GRACIE FELT the room tilt. For a second she thought she might faint for the first time in her life. A rushing sound filled her ears, her body felt both too heavy and too light and she couldn’t seem to focus on anything. Then her vision cleared and she watched Riley spring to his feet and stare at her in fury and shock.
“Gracie?” Jill asked. “Did you-”
Gracie didn’t wait for Jill to finish her sentence. She could feel people looking at her, pointing, staring, talking. But none of that mattered. She didn’t care about anything but Riley and what he must be thinking.
“I have to go,” she said as she stood and ran to the door. She heard someone calling her name, but she didn’t stop, didn’t turn around.
“Is it true?” someone yelled. “Did Riley knock you up?”
Gracie felt burning in her stomach, but this pain had nothing to do with her usual acid issues. Instead this ache came from the realization she had gotten very close to something special and it had all just been ripped away from her.
RILEY CONSIDERED returning to the bank. It was just after five so he could easily head home, but for some reason he didn’t want to be alone.
The debate had been a disaster. Yardley had been so damn cheerful at the outset that Riley had begun to suspect he was up to something. But he never would have guessed what. Yardley had struck hard and in exactly the right place. The good citizens of Los Lobos might be willing to overlook a lot of flaws but no one would forgive him messing with a town legend.
How had Yardley known? Had he taken a few facts and put them together? Or had someone told him what had happened? He hadn’t said a word to anyone and he doubted Gracie had been spreading rumors. Which meant the information could only have come from her.
He parked in his designated spot behind the bank, then climbed out of his car. There were still a few people heading inside to conduct their business before closing. He saw a woman pushing a stroller along the sidewalk. The air was warm, the sky clear. Everything was completely normal. Yet he felt as if he’d been beaten up and left on the edge of the road.
How could she have done that to him? Why? He would have bet a considerable portion of his soon-to-be-lost inheritance that Gracie didn’t like Mayor Yardley. So why would she help him? Bitterness over the past? Was this all an elaborate plan of revenge?
As he walked into the building, he told himself it might not be her. That whoever had followed them and taken the pictures could have seen enough to know what had happened. Until he had the report back from the private detective, he couldn’t be sure of anything.
Except he didn’t want it to be Gracie. Fourteen years ago, he would have sold his soul, or even his car, to get her out of his life. Now…Now he didn’t know what he wanted.
He rounded the corner and headed for the elevator. Several employees stood together, talking quietly. As he approached, one of them nudged another. They all turned to look at him.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Whitefield,” a young woman said. She didn’t quite meet his gaze.
He nodded and stepped onto the elevator. They were talking again before the doors closed and all he heard was “Do you think it’s true that he really-”
Word travels fast, he thought as he walked onto the second floor. He would guess the live radio broadcast was responsible. Zeke was going to be screaming tonight. They were going to have to come up with a great recovery plan and he didn’t have a clue as to what it would be. Beating up Yardley might make him feel better, but wouldn’t help the election. Same with suing the old bastard.
Riley moved into his office and closed the door behind him. He stared at the portrait of his uncle.
“You’re not winning,” he told the long-dead figure. “Not now, not ever. I’ll find a way.”
He would do what he’d always done when the odds were against him. He would put his head down and work harder than everyone else around him. He wouldn’t let anything get in his way. Not the town, not the past, not the damn mayor and not even Gracie.
He heard a knock on his door.
“Go away,” he called.
“Mr. Whitefield, you have someone here to see you.”
“Not interested.”
“This is important.”
Riley knew he’d cleared his schedule for the day of the debate, so she wasn’t talking about a meeting. Had Yardley come by to gloat?
He figured that wasn’t the mayor’s style. Curious, and more than a little interested in a distraction, he crossed to the door and pulled it open.
“Who is it?” he asked, even as he found himself hoping Gracie had stopped by to explain herself.
Rather than answer, Diane stepped back. Riley looked behind her, expecting to see a familiar, curvy blonde with a quirky disposition and a ready smile. Instead he saw a man in his mid-to-late fifties, dressed in a worn suit and a stained white shirt. The hair was grayer, the lines in his face deeper. Somehow he seemed a whole lot smaller than Riley recalled.
It might have been over twenty years, but Riley remembered everything about the man who had abandoned his mother and himself.
The old man gave him a twisted smile. “Hello, son. How have you been?”
GRACIE DROVE halfway to Los Angeles before pulling off the freeway in Ventura and turning around to head back to Los Lobos. She gave herself the “I am a grown-up” lecture and reminded herself she couldn’t run away from all her problems, even if it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She even believed herself-sort of. But if someone had offered her a one-way ticket to help colonize one of the moons of Jupiter, she probably would have signed right up.
There were too many emotions swirling inside of her for her to know what she was feeling. Sick, mostly. Sick and sad and angry at whomever had betrayed her. Except she hadn’t told anyone what was going on, so where had the mayor gotten his information?
Her cell phone rang again. She grabbed it and glanced at the display screen, then tossed it back on the seat. So far she’d had three calls from Jill, two each from her sisters and about six from her mother. She wasn’t in the mood to talk to any of them, and she hadn’t heard from the one person she wanted to. Riley.
What was he thinking? Did he know she hadn’t been the one to spill his secrets or was he right that second making a little doll that looked like her with plans to stick pins in it? Worse, did he hate her? Because she could stand him being angry, but not him turning away from her without giving her a chance to prove her innocence. Not that she had any kind of plan on how she was supposed to do that.
What she didn’t understand was how this had happened in the first place. Who had set them up? And how? She had a hard time believing her neighbor had spied on her until she’d seen Riley come over, then waited until she was pretty sure they were having sex, only to throw her precious dog into a cold pool and then go pound on Gracie’s door and beg for help.
Which meant it was someone else. Which left her back where she’d started, wondering who and why and how and all the other question words.
An hour later she saw the sign for Los Lobos and turned off the freeway. At the bottom of the off-ramp, she hesitated, then turned right instead of left and drove to the chichi side of town. She drove past Riley’s house and carefully parked around the corner so as not to fuel the gossip mill, then walked back to his front door and braced herself. She might have to stand there pounding for a really long time before she convinced him she wasn’t going away and that he had to talk to her.
“I’m going to make him listen,” she told herself as she raised her hand to knock.
The door swung open.
The movement was so unexpected, she actually stumbled forward and nearly tripped over the threshold. Riley raised his eyebrows.
“Have you been drinking?” he asked.
“What? No. I didn’t think you’d let me in. I was prepared to keep pounding until you did.”
“Are you disappointed?”
“No.”
He looked good. No, he looked great. Jeans, a plain white shirt and Nikes. Faint stubble darkened his jaw.
She wanted to step into his embrace and have him pull her close. She wanted to tell him that she hadn’t been the one, that he could trust her, that she cared about him and would never betray him. She wanted to offer proof or at least a plan to get proof. She wanted him to say it was going to be all right.
Instead she opened her mouth, closed it, then grabbed the front of his shirt with both hands and did her best to shake him.
“It wasn’t me,” she said as he stood there as immobile as a rock. “I didn’t tell anyone what we did and I certainly didn’t say I thought I might be pregnant. I don’t know where he got the idea. It wasn’t me.”
She still held on to his shirt. He raised his hands to cover hers. His dark eyes watched her.
“I know,” he said simply.
She blinked. “Really? You believe me?”
He nodded.
“Why?”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “Can’t you just accept it?”
“No. Not really. If I were you I’m not sure I’d believe me. Why do you?”
He shrugged, which wasn’t a very satisfying answer, but it seemed to be all she was going to get.
He loosened her hands from his shirt and stepped back. “I’m going for a walk on the beach. Want to come?”
“Sure.”
IT WAS CLOSE to sunset when they arrived. Riley parked his Mercedes in one of the public lots, then took Gracie’s hand as they crossed to the sand. She’d kicked off her shoes. Without the heels, she barely came up to his shoulder. Her hair hung loose, her shirt was untucked. She should have been a mess, but he found her sexy as hell.
Was that why he’d told her he believed her? Because he wanted to sleep with her? He supposed it was as good a reason as any, because there wasn’t any logic in the entire situation.
He didn’t want her to be the guilty party. It was as simple as that. If it turned out he was a fool to trust her, it could cost him ninety-seven million dollars and the revenge he’d been after.
Later he would listen to his head, he told himself. Later he would come up with plans that would help him recover from what had happened at the debate. Later he would tell Gracie to get lost and forget her. But not right now.
“I used to come here a lot when I was a kid,” Riley said. “As soon as I got my driver’s license, it became one of my favorite places. I would walk along the beach and try to make sense of my life.”
“I didn’t think that was possible for a teenager.”
He looked at her and smiled. “It’s not.”
“At least you made the effort. My way to try to make sense was to write really bad poetry. I mean seriously bad. Trees should come after me seeking revenge for their death so that I could have the paper to write my bad poetry.”
“Trees aren’t much into organizing.”
“Color me happy.”
She glanced at him as she spoke. A hint of a smile caused her blue eyes to crinkle at the corners. He nearly pulled her close and kissed her, but the smile faded and she sighed.
“How did he know?”
“The mayor?”
She nodded.
“He had us followed. Or maybe just me.”
“Is that what your detective told you?” she asked.
“He’s been on the job all of a day. I doubt he knows anything yet.”
“Oh. Good point.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “The guy the mayor or whoever hired did a much better job following us than we did following Zeke. Maybe we should have hired him.”
Despite everything, he chuckled. “I like your logic.”
“So the guy was just there to take pictures, but somehow he figures out what we’re up to and tells the mayor?”
“Or Yardley takes a wild stab in the dark and gets lucky.”
She squeezed his hand, then stepped in front of him.
“I didn’t do it, Riley. I swear.”
“Gracie, you don’t have to keep telling me that. I believe you.”
“I hope so. It’s just it looks so bad. I’m the only one who knows we made love and I’m the only one who knows that we didn’t use anything and that there’s a teeny, tiny chance I’m pregnant.”
“You’re not the only one,” he reminded her. “I know.”
“Oh, right. Because you’re the one telling the mayor.” She squeezed his hand tighter. “I mean it. I need you to believe me. It’s desperately important. I don’t lie. I can be a little anal about getting my cakes exactly right and I don’t have as much patience with my family as I probably should and I never get my checkbook to balance to the penny. I figure, hey if it’s within five dollars, fine. But I don’t lie and I would never set you up. I’m not afraid of the truth. Remember? I’m the girl who put a skunk in your car. I tend to do things out in the open so the world can see.”
The sun had slipped below the horizon. As the light faded, her skin took on a luminescence, as if she glowed from within. At that moment, staring into her beautiful face, he would have believed anything. Not so much because he wanted her-although he did-but because she was there.
For the first time in as long as he could remember, someone was there for him. Someone who was interested in him, his day, his opinions, his feelings. Guy friends were never that involved and he didn’t let women get close.
He believed Gracie because he didn’t have a choice.
He reached for her free hand and laced his fingers with hers, then he pulled her close, so they touched from shoulder to thigh.
“How did we get here?” he asked.
“The highway and then Beach Drive.”
He grinned, then he chuckled, then he started to laugh. She wiggled her shoulders.
“I’ve always had an excellent sense of humor,” she said.
“Yes, you do.”
He bent down and kissed her nose. Her mouth beckoned, but as much as he wanted to be in her bed, he wasn’t willing to give this up. Not yet.
He released her left hand and tugged her along so they were walking again.
“Any other directional questions I can answer?” she asked.
“Not right now.”
“You could get a GPS system.”
“Yes, I could.”
She drew in a deep breath. “I love the smell of the ocean. Where my aunt and uncle lived in Torrance, we were about five miles from the beach, so we could go there a lot. I’ve always lived close to the water. I’m not sure I could live anywhere else. How do people survive in the mountains or the desert?”
“It’s what they know. I didn’t see the ocean until we moved here when I was nearly sixteen.”
She glanced at him. “Where did you grow up?”
“Tempe, then finally here.” He remembered the trailer he and his mom had lived in. “I never asked her why we stayed so long after my dad left. Maybe she was waiting for him to come back.” His mother had always been a dreamer.
“Six years is a long time.”
“Too long. Then we moved here. She told me things would be better because her brother was here. Until then I hadn’t known I’d had an uncle.”
“What happened when you met him?” Gracie asked.
“I didn’t. She left me at the motel and went to see him herself. When she came back, I knew that she’d been crying, but she wouldn’t admit it. She wouldn’t say anything except she was going to find us a nice little house where we could be happy.”
He led Gracie toward a cluster of rocks and sat down next to them. She settled beside him. He reached for her hand again.
“I put the pieces together over time,” he said, not wanting to remember, but lost in the past all the same. “Her brother told her that she’d turned her back on the family when she’d run off to be with my father. As far as he was concerned, she didn’t exist. Neither did I.”
Gracie shifted closer so she could snuggle up against him. “I’m sorry your uncle was just a big old poop head.”
Despite the ghosts and the ache of the past, Riley smiled. “I’ve been calling him a heartless bastard all these years, but I kind of like poop head.”
“It’s true. How could he ignore his own family?”
Riley leaned back against the rocks and put his free arm around her. “Easily enough. I never did meet him. When I got in trouble around town, he’d send me a letter, reprimanding me for whatever I’d done.”
“You were never that bad.”
He glanced down at her. “I was wild.”
She smiled. “I know. It was one of your best qualities. Your bad-boy ways made my little teenage heart beat so fast. You were dangerous and sexy.” She gave him a teasing grin. “Did you know I had a crush on you?”
He chuckled. “Gee, really? You were so subtle about it.”
“I know.” She sighed. “That’s me. Subtle gal. Did he come to the wedding?”
“No. My mom probably sent him an invitation, but I didn’t care if he showed up or not. I’m sure Pam was hoping for a great gift, but he didn’t bother with that, either.”
“I know Pam’s being really nice and all,” Gracie said. “But it’s hard for me to feel sorry for her.”
“Me, either. I didn’t want to marry her. Did you know that?”
She stared at him, her eyes wide. “You’re kidding. I thought you were wildly in love with her.”
“Lust,” he said firmly. “There’s a huge difference. At eighteen, I liked having her as a steady girlfriend, because she put out. When she told me she was pregnant, I was furious. She’d sworn she was on the Pill and I believed her.”
Gracie shifted on the sand. “I never said I was.”
He brushed his mouth against her hair. “Not the same thing. I told you, I don’t blame you for that.”
“But I-”
He pulled his hand free and pressed it against her mouth. “No.”
“But-” He pressed a little harder. “What aren’t you getting?”
“Okay.”
He appreciated her worrying, but as far as he was concerned, the fault was his. He’d been the one so damned intent on having her, he’d forgotten to make sure they were both protected. He hadn’t gotten successful by being stupid.
“What were we talking about?” he asked.
“You not wanting to marry Pam because you were secretly in love with me.”
“Not exactly.”
“But close.”
“I didn’t want to marry Pam.”
“I’ll take that if it’s all I can get,” she said. “And remind you-again-that I warned you about her.”
“Yes, you did, but I didn’t listen. Not that it would have mattered. My mother insisted. She said I had a responsibility.” He grimaced as he remembered the fights he’d had with her. “She wanted me to be respectable and do the right thing.”
“You just wanted out.”
“Yeah. I’m not saying my mom was wrong. But at eighteen, I didn’t see it. I married Pam, stayed around long enough to find out she wasn’t pregnant, then took off. But first I told my mom she’d ruined my life and I would never forgive her.”
He stared out at the dark ocean. The moon hadn’t risen and he could barely see the white foam swirling along the beach.
“It was the last time we ever spoke,” he said slowly.
“What?” Gracie pushed away and stared at him. “You mean because you left?”
He nodded. “I was angry. I took off and headed north. Eventually I ended up on those oil rigs in the South China Sea. I grew up a little and got some perspective. So I sent her a letter and a check. She wrote me back, asked me to come see her sometime. I said I would. But I never made the time.”
He hadn’t thought it was important and he’d still been angry.
“Finally she wrote me and told me she was sick. Cancer. So I made arrangements to come back. But she didn’t say it was urgent and I didn’t drop everything. A week before I was supposed to leave, I got a call from a nurse in the county hospital telling me my mother had less than forty-eight hours to live. It took me fifty hours to get back. She was already dead.”
Gracie tightened her hold on him. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s long over. Technically Yardley was right today. I never did come back to see my mother while she lay dying.”
“You didn’t know.”
“Is that a good excuse?” he asked, still staring at the ocean. “I don’t think so. She was alone. That’s the worst of it. She died in the county hospital by herself. Her selfish son couldn’t be bothered to get his ass back in a timely fashion. And her own brother, who lived right in town, didn’t bother going to see her.”
Gracie rose to her knees and stared at him. “What are you talking about?”
“Donovan Whitefield kept his word. He never forgave his sister.” Riley looked at Gracie. “I found her letters later. The ones he’d returned without ever opening them. She begged him for money to pay for treatment. What I sent her wasn’t nearly enough and she knew that back then I couldn’t have afforded medical treatments. So she asked him, and he didn’t even bother to read them.”
She made a noise low in her throat then threw herself at him.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, pressing against him and shaking.
He stiffened, not sure what to do with her sympathy, then he wrapped his arms around her.
“It’s okay,” he said.
“It’s not.” She raised her head and looked at him. He thought he saw tears on her cheeks, but he wasn’t sure. “None of it is okay. You’re carrying around all this guilt, but it’s not your fault. You didn’t make your mother sick and you didn’t know you had to come back.”
So Gracie wanted to make it all right for him. Didn’t she know that wasn’t possible?
“I did after she told me,” he said flatly.
“But she could have made it more clear. You’re not psychic. Okay, yes, you’re guilty of not hurrying, but that’s all. The rest of it… How could your uncle have done that? How could he have turned his back on her? I might not like Alexis and Vivian very much right now, but I would never turn them away. Especially with something like that.”
Riley doubted Gracie would turn away a rabid dog if it needed help.
“You need to understand I’m long past saving,” he said. “I’ve made my peace with the past.” Although “peace” might be the wrong word. He’d accepted what had happened and decided how he was going to make it right.
She cupped his face in her hands. “You haven’t found peace. You’re still angry.”
He liked that she could read him so well. “I’ll get over it.”
Gracie wasn’t sure that was possible. How was Riley supposed to accept all that had happened and move on? She could feel the pain inside of him. It radiated from him and made her ache inside. She wanted to surround him and hold him until he began to heal.
She wanted to return to the past and prevent it all from happening.
He was good and strong and decent. He didn’t deserve all this.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, still cupping his face. “I hate that Mayor Yardley took a very personal, painful piece of your past and used it to make himself look better. It’s slimy and horrible.”
“Is he a big old poop head, too?”
“He’s on the poop head management team.” She wiped her tears. “How could he do that? It’s so horrible. And now people are going to think badly of you. It’s not right.”
“I’ll survive,” he said.
“What you need is to win the election. Can I do anything to help?”
“I’ll let you know if we come up with a plan that includes you.”
“I don’t mind knocking on doors and telling people I’m not pregnant.”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “That would get their attention. Why don’t we wait until we’re sure you’re not pregnant before heading in that direction.”
“Oh. Right. Good point.” She slumped down next to him. She didn’t want to think about a baby right now. “I don’t think I could handle one more thing.”
“You mean between your sister who’s getting married, the one freaking out about her husband, the cakes you have to bake, Pam, the mayor telling everyone we’ve had sex and the fact that you might be pregnant?” he asked.
She groaned. “Gee, when you put it like that, I barely have anything going on anymore. Is your list better or worse?”
“It’s different. My father showed up today.”
She didn’t think there was anything else that could shock her, but she was wrong.
“Your father? Here?”
“At the bank,” he said as he slid his hand into her hair and finger combed it to the ends. “It’s been twenty-two years and I still recognized him. I guess that says something.”
She didn’t know what to think. “He wanted to see you?”
Riley gave a laugh that had nothing to do with humor. “No. He wanted money. There was no ‘Hey, son, how’s it going.’ He just asked me to write him a check because he’s running a little short this month.”
She felt as if someone had drop-kicked her heart. Riley spoke as if it didn’t matter, but she knew the pain of being abandoned by a parent. Maybe her situation was a little different, but the loss was very similar.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“It happened. I threw him out but he’ll be back. Hell, I’ll probably give him the money just to get rid of him.”
“I’m sorry,” she repeated and wrapped her arms around him. “I don’t know how to make this all better.”
“Not your job.”
“I know, but I still want to fix it. Make things better.” She reached up and touched his face. “Come home with me.”
Nothing about his expression changed. “That’s a short-term solution.”
“It’s the best I have right now.”
“I’m not complaining.”