"Lindsay," Sandy called. She threw down her helmet and raced after her daughter.
"Wait," Kyle yelled. He secured the kickstand and jerked off his helmet, then took off after her. He caught her on the stairs. "I want to talk to her, too," he said.
"This isn't your problem."
"I'm the one she has a crush on."
"I'm her mother."
They paused by the front door. Kyle waited. He didn't want to walk away from this. Lindsay was important to him. He knew how she was feeling; he'd been there himself. "I'm not leaving," he said.
Sandy sighed. "Suit yourself, but I'm warning you, it could get ugly. Lindsay has never been shy about saying what she's thinking."
She opened the front door and started across the foyer. Nichole saw them from the family room and got up. "Mommy, I had the best time at camp today. I want to go back tomorrow and the next day." Her green eyes sparkled with excitement. "I even made you something." She glanced past her mother toward him. "Hi, Kyle."
"Hey, kitten."
She dimpled.
Sandy looked at her daughter. "Honey, Lindsay's really upset and we have to go talk to her right now. But as soon as we're done, I want you to tell me everything about your day, okay?"
"Sure." Nichole plopped down on the sofa. "I'll wait."
Kyle was surprised. He'd expected her to get upset at being ignored. "You've got some great kids," he said as they started up the stairs.
"They all know I'll keep my promise to listen. They don't like waiting, but they're old enough to stop making a fuss about it." She winced. As they neared the second-floor landing, they could hear Lindsay's harsh sobs.
Kyle swore. "The kid sounds like her heart is breaking."
"It is."
He grimaced. It wasn't fair. Growing up was tough on everyone. He had a fleeting thought that this wasn't his problem, that he could bolt and no one would blame him. Instead, he forced himself to keep climbing the stairs. Lindsay needed him, and whether she knew it or not, so did Sandy.
Lindsay's door was closed. Sandy knocked.
"Lindsay, Kyle and I want to come in."
"No! Go away." Her voice was thick with tears. Kyle felt a sharp pain in his gut. The kid was really suffering.
Sandy opened the door and stepped inside. Lindsay lay on her bed, curled up and facing the window. Her long brown hair streamed over the pillow.
"Lindsay, we never meant to hurt you," Sandy said.
The preteen didn't move.
Sandy looked at Kyle helplessly. He held up his hands, indicating he didn't know what to say, either. This was way out of his league.
Sandy moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed. Before she could touch her daughter, Lindsay rolled toward her. "No," she said loudly. "Don't sit down, don't say anything. I don't want to hear it." He face was flushed, her eyes red from crying.
Sandy stood up slowly. "Lindsay."
"No. I saw you, Mom. How could you? It was disgusting." Her mouth twisted. Her gaze shifted to Kyle. "You don't really like her, do you? You don't think she's pretty. She's old and never does anything but yell at us to do our chores and be responsible. You're not like that. You're fun, Kyle. You don't like her. You can't."
Tears flowed from her eyes. Her voice caught. "I'll never forgive you. Never."
Kyle moved closer to the bed. Lindsay stared at him for a moment. The raw pain in her gaze made him flinch. "Lindsay, you've got to understand."
"No, I don't," she said, turning her back on him. "I hate you, too. Go away."
"I can't." He sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hands on her shoulders. She jerked away. He tried again and this time she let him touch her. After a few minutes, he drew her close, turning her so she was pressed against him, her head leaning against his chest.
She continued to cry. He could feel the moisture of her tears as they dampened his T-shirt, and the sobs shaking her slight body. Sandy stood beside the bed with her hands balled into fists. She was hurting, too. He didn't know how to comfort them both.
"I know how you feel," he said to Lindsay.
"No, you don't."
"Yeah, I do. I had a crush on someone once." He stared at the top of her head, then rested his hand on her hair. "I was fourteen. She never knew I was alive."
Lindsay sniffed and looked up at him. "Really?"
He nodded. "She was an older woman and dating one of my brothers."
"What happened?"
He cupped her chin and brushed the tears from her face. "I tried to tell her how I felt, but she didn't listen. She was polite and friendly, but she wasn't interested in me. Basically, she shut me down big time."
Brown eyes widened with curiosity. "Did it hurt?"
"Like someone had reached inside and ripped my heart out. It hurt bad."
Lindsay nodded and stared at the bedspread. "I know," she whispered. "What happened after that?"
He shrugged. "She left for college and I eventually got over it." He smoothed her hair away from her face. "You will, too. Because you don't really want me for a boyfriend, Lindsay. For one thing, I'm way too old. For another…" He paused.
Sandy had stood silently beside the bed listening as he talked. He didn't want to look at her and find out what she was thinking. After all, she was the one he'd had that crush on sixteen years ago. He figured he could easily go another sixteen years without her finding out the truth. He wondered what she would say if she knew. He wondered how mad she was going to be with what he was about to tell her daughter.
"What?" Lindsay asked.
"You want me to help fill the hole your dad's death has left in your life." When she would have turned away, he held her close. "Listen to me, Lindsay. If you think about it, you'll know I'm right. You were always doing things with him. You and he had a very special relationship. It's only natural that you would miss that. Then you met me. I remind you a little of your dad. I'm fun to be with, I don't take things as seriously as your mom. But you felt guilty and disloyal. You think the only person who can be a father figure in your life is your father. You didn't know what to think, so it was easier to pretend you had a crush on me."
Her mouth opened, but she didn't speak. "It's okay," he told her. "You can have more than one adult male in your life acting like a dad. You'll always love your father the most, and that's how it should be. That doesn't mean I can't give you a little advice from time to time." He scowled. "Especially when you start dating. I plan to look those young men over very carefully, Lindsay Walker, so don't expect to bring home any biker types."
Her eyes filled with tears, but this time she was smiling. She flung herself at him and squeezed hard. He hugged her back.
"Are we gonna be all right?" he asked.
She nodded, but didn't let go. He risked a glance at Sandy. She was staring at him as if she'd never seen him before.
"How'd you know all that?" Sandy asked.
"It just sort of came to me."
Lindsay raised her head. "Mom?"
"Oh, honey." Sandy walked toward them. Kyle shifted on the bed and stretched out his left arm toward her. She moved close and hugged them both.
"I love you, baby," she said.
"I love you, too, Mom."
Kyle swallowed against the sudden tightening in his throat. He wasn't sure where he'd gotten the words. When he'd needed them, they'd just sort of been there. He was grateful that they'd been the right thing to say.
Now, holding Sandy and Lindsay close, he felt something he hadn't felt for years, if ever. He felt as if he belonged. As if all the years of playing daddy with his brother's kids, or the neighbor kids, had finally paid off. He felt strong enough to carry all the troubles of the world on his shoulders, and weak enough to fight the burning at the back of his eyes.
When Lindsay wiggled free, he didn't want to let her go. He didn't want the perfect moment to end. Because when they all stood up and looked at one another, he would be the one on the outside. He wasn't part of the family. He wasn't likely to be. Sandy might be interested in sleeping with him, but she'd made it clear that he wasn't the sort of man she wanted in her life permanently.
Lindsay scrambled off the bed and walked over to the window. She stared outside. "I guess I made a fool of myself, huh?"
"Not with me," he said. "I'm not sure what you've been doing with the other men in the neighborhood, though."
She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Kyle!"
"Lindsay!"
She grinned.
"Your secret is safe with me, kid," he said.
"I can still come over and make fresh lemonade if you want," she said.
"I'd like that."
"Tomorrow."
"I'll be waiting."
He started toward the door. Sandy followed. When they reached the staircase, she paused.
"You did really good in there," she said.
"Thanks. I was nervous."
"It didn't show." She looked up at him. "Thanks, Kyle. It could have gotten ugly, but you were great."
He liked the hero worship shining from her green eyes. He liked that he'd impressed her. But he hadn't done it for her; he'd only been thinking of Lindsay. "I'm glad it worked out."
"Me, too." She put her hand on the railing, but didn't step down. "So what's the real story about this crush of yours? I don't remember any of the Haynes brothers ever being without a date."
"I was only fourteen at the time. A little young for dating."
"And she really didn't notice you?"
"You sound surprised. I was a kid. She wasn't. It's no big deal, Sandy. It happens all the time."
"But not to you." She smiled. "I guess I can't imagine who it would be. One of the cheerleaders? Oh, you said someone one of your brothers dated. Which brother? Travis? He always had the prettiest girls."
"Why is this so important to you?"
"I'm just a little curious."
He could tell her. What would she do with the information? Would it make a difference? He watched as her mouth curled in a smile. Her nose was a little red, as if she'd been in the sun too long on their bike ride. Instantly, images of what had happened on that picnic-table bench flashed into his mind. He had to fight the need to bend over and kiss her. Just once. Instead, he started down the stairs.
"You're not going to tell me?" she asked.
"No."
"But, Kyle, I want to know."
At the bottom of the stairs, he turned toward her. She was grinning. "Just one little name. What will it hurt?"
She was right. It couldn't hurt anything. It had been a long time ago. If he was going to risk it with Sandy, he might as well risk it all. Then, if it didn't work out, he could tell himself he'd done his best. It would be small comfort if she left him, but he would need all the help he could get.
He walked to the front door, then paused. "It was you, Sandy. Always you. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out." Then he stepped outside and closed the door behind him.
"Mom, when can I learn how to drive?" Lindsay asked.
Fortunately, Sandy was already at a stop sign, so she didn't accidentally hit the brakes and risk being rear-ended. She glanced at her twelve-year-old daughter. "Where did that question come from?"
Lindsay shrugged. "I just asked. Sheesh, you always make such a big deal out of everything."
"You'll learn to drive when you're fifteen and a half and get your learner's permit. Not before."
"Figures." Lindsay slumped back in her seat.
It was her turn to ride in front. The children rotated weekly. Blake sat directly behind her, playing a hand-held video game, and Nichole was having a quiet conversation with her doll. All in all, life had settled into a routine. The children went to camp every day, she had finished unpacking and was planning her lessons for the coming semester. She'd figured out where everything was in the grocery store and she'd managed to reduce the time she spent thinking about Kyle from all of her day to aboutthree-quarters of it. Not bad considering she couldn't get his confession out of her mind.
It was you, Sandy. Always you. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out.
How could he have said that to her and then just left? She'd been too shocked to do more than stare at him as he'd walked out of her house, and then it had been too late to go after him. Nichole had claimed her attention. Next, she'd had to deal with making dinner. Suddenly, it had been the next day and she'd been too embarrassed to seek Kyle out and ask him what he'd really meant.
He'd had a crush on her? It didn't make sense. She barely remembered him as a fourteen-year-old. Of course, if she couldn't remember him, she probably had ignored him, but why would he have had a crush on her? She wasn't a cheerleader. She was just ordinary. Sensible Sandy, as he called her. She wasn't the type to inspire that kind of affection. She certainly hadn't in Thomas.
Maybe she would ask him today. They were all getting together at Travis and Elizabeth's house for a cookout. All the brothers would be there, along with their dates, kids and possibly dogs. It would be a madhouse, but she might be able to steal a quiet moment alone with Kyle. There hadn't been an opportunity in the last couple of weeks. One of the deputies had been on vacation and Kyle had been working extra hours.
Nichole leaned as far forward as her seat belt would let her. "Mandy's mom said they were going to buy a blow-up pool and that we could go swimming."
"Sounds like fun, honey," she answered.
"Blake can come, too, if he wants," Nichole said graciously. She and her brother always got along well. Sandy often wondered if it was because Lindsay had been singled out by their father, that the two younger ones banded together.
Lindsay sighed loudly and muttered something about children. She was upset because her friends hadn't been able to come to the cookout, so she wasn't going to have anyone to hang out with. Since Kyle had talked to her, she'd seemed a little more like a twelve-year-old and a little less like a seductress in a training bra.
Sandy turned onto the tree-lined street where Travis and Elizabeth lived. Her children were doing well, she thought happily. They were adjusting to their new lives, thanks in great part to Kyle. He was always there for them. Even though she hadn't seen him much in the last couple of weeks, and never alone, he'd made sure he was available to her children.
She started down the long driveway, and parked behind an expensive German sedan. Austin, his wife, Rebecca, and their two children were already here. Her kids scrambled out of the station wagon as soon as she turned off the engine, but she was slower to exit. There was a part of her that was shy about facing all these people. Not because she didn't belong, but because she didn't know where she stood with Kyle.
It was ridiculous, she told herself as she got out of the car. The man was her neighbor, nothing more. Yet, that wasn't completely true. He was also a good friend, and a good surrogate father to her children. He'd been there for her, and his touch made her forget herself. She blushed as she remembered how willing she'd been to make love with him in a public park. She hadn't cared about anyone driving by and seeing them. She hadn't cared about anything but getting close to him, kissing him, stepping into the fire they generated and giving up her soul to the flames.
They weren't dating, but they'd almost become lovers. She didn't want a man like him in her life, but she couldn't stop thinking about him. She wanted it to be real, yet she knew in her heart that Kyle was everything she wanted to avoid in a man. She walked to the rear of the vehicle and opened the back door. So why couldn't she turn her back on him and forget about it? Why was she having trouble sleeping and eating, and why did her heart still pound so hard every time she saw him?
She had to make her body, or her hormones, or whatever was causing the reaction stop. She couldn't go on like this. What would happen if things got tough? She wanted a man who would make the difficult decisions no matter what they cost him personally. She wanted someone she could depend on.
"You're looking serious about something."
She jumped and turned toward the sound. "Kyle," she said, pressing her hand on her chest. "You startled me."
"I was on the porch," he said, pointing toward the house, "but you didn't notice me waving."
"Sorry. I was thinking."
"About what?"
His brown eyes studied her face, his firm mouth smiled easily. The sheer male beauty of his features took her breath away. He wore black shorts and a T-shirt that advertised a local deli. Everywhere she looked, she saw hard muscles and tanned skin. It was enough to make a woman swoon. Her palms dampened, her mouth got dry and she couldn't think of an intelligent thing to say. If she were eighteen, or even twenty, she would swear she was in love. But she was thirty-two, and she knew better.
"Nothing important."
He reached up and cupped her chin. "I haven't seen you in a while. Everything okay?"
"Couldn't be better."
"Vacations are over for now, so my schedule is going to be normal again, starting Monday. Maybe we could take another bike ride."
Her thighs began to tremble. "I think that would be a mistake-"
He bent down and kissed her, cutting off her words. There was nothing seductive about the pressure of his mouth on hers. It was soft and sweet. Still, she felt her body begin to hum as need and desire flashed through her.
He straightened. "What were you saying?"
Had she been saying something? She leaned toward him hoping he would kiss her again, but he just gave her that cat-who-ate-the-canary grin of his. "Huh? Ah, nothing. Why?"
"I could have sworn you were going to tell me another bike ride wouldn't be a good idea."
She reached into the station wagon and picked up a covered casserole dish. She handed it to Kyle, then reached for the covered cake plate. He slammed the car door shut, then fell into step beside her as they started for the house.
"Why would I say a foolish thing like that?" she asked.
"That's what I was thinking."
When they reached the stairs leading to the porch, she paused and stared at him. Sunlight caught his short dark hair. He was tall and broad, strong. In the last few weeks, she'd come to think of him as dependable, which was a word she never would have associated with one of the Haynes brothers. Yet, they'd all changed. They'd grown up. For a brief moment, she wanted it to be enough.
"Is it true?" she asked. "Did you really have a crush on me?"
He looked past her toward a grove of trees next to the house. "It's the only time I hated my brother. The first time Jordan brought you home, I wanted to kill him and steal you away for myself."
"Really? Why?"
"I'm not going to answer that."
"When did you get over your crush?"
His gaze settled on her. "Don't ask questions unless you're sure you want the answers."
Her breath caught in her throat. What was he saying? That it had been over so quickly that she would be insulted if she knew, or something else? That he'd never gotten over it. But he had to have. He couldn't still have those feelings for her, could he? He was right, she wasn't sure she wanted to know.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
He laughed. "Sorry, that's as much of my confession as you're going to get."
"But Kyle-"
"But nothing." He raised the dish in his hands. "What did you bring?"
"Potato salad and chocolate cake."
"Sounds great. I brought yams."
She giggled. "Is it true? That's the only thing you can make?"
He looked insulted. "It is not. I just like yams."
"Okay, me, too. I thought they were great."
He bent toward her. For a second, she thought he was going to kiss her again. She wanted him to. She wanted him to hold her and touch her and take her to that magic place they disappeared to when they were together. She wanted to make love and talk about the past and the future. She wanted to hear about his crush, then whisper that she couldn't keep her heartbeat under control when he was around.
Then the front door opened and he straightened. "We need less interruptions and more privacy," he murmured.
She glanced up and saw the third oldest Haynes brother standing in the doorway. "Jordan!" she called and started up toward him.
"Hey, Sandy." Jordan wasn't as tall as Kyle, or as good-looking, but there was something soulful in his eyes. He'd always been the moody one, the brooder. While Craig had been the athletic star and Travis had collected ladies based on his charm, Jordan had been the James Dean of the county. Even Sensible Sandy hadn't been immune.
He met her at the top of the stairs and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I heard you were back in town. How's it going?"
"Really well."
"I met your kids," he said, then gave her a kiss on the cheek. "The littlest one has your smile. She's going to be a heartbreaker."
She was pleased at the compliment. "Thanks. Nichole is a sweetie."
She looked at her old boyfriend. Time had been kind to him. The new lines around his eyes only made him more good-looking. The Haynes family had an incredible gene pool, she thought, then realized she was standing right next to Jordan, talking to him, staring at his smile and feeling absolutely nothing. Not a twinge of attraction, not a flicker of a faster heartbeat. It was as if he were her brother.
"Before you get too charming," Kyle said, coming up and elbowing his brother out of the way, "the lady's with me.
Jordan's dark eyes met hers. "So that's how it is?"
Sandy glanced up at Kyle. Her heart kicked into high gear and her stomach dived for her toes. Maybe it was just the flu, or an allergy. "That's exactly how it is," she whispered.
Fifteen children, eight adults and an assortment of pets could go through enough food to feed an army and still have room to argue about who got the largest piece of cake. Sandy looked sadly at the few crumbs that were all that was left of her three-layer masterpiece.
"At least they enjoyed it," Elizabeth said, coming up and taking the dirty side plates. "This family sure can eat."
"I'll say. I think that lone pickle floating in the jar is about it for leftovers."
Elizabeth grinned. "Less work for us."
"That's true." Sandy gathered up a handful of flatware and set it on the cake dish, then carried everything into the kitchen. Rebecca and Christina, a petite blonde who was dating Kyle's oldest brother, Craig, were already washing dishes.
"More work," Elizabeth called. "No rest for the wicked."
Rebecca glanced at her over her shoulder. "We're notthe wicked ones. It's those men who should be in here cleaning."
"I heard that," Kyle said, walking in with an armful of plastic glasses. "I'm helping."
Elizabeth picked up a dish towel and tossed it to Sandy, then grabbed another one for herself. "Kyle, would you please bring in the rest of the dishes. Sandy and I will dry."
"No problem." He left the kitchen.
Rebecca grinned. "You notice how well behaved he is all of a sudden. As if he's trying to impress a certain someone."
"I thought that same thing, myself," Elizabeth said. "Now, who could he be strutting around for? Is he dating anyone?"
"Not that I know of." Rebecca looked at Sandy. "You wouldn't know anything about this, would you?"
Sandy could feel herself blushing. "Gee, I haven't seen anyone at his house."
"Except for yourself, of course," Rebecca teased.
"I'm just there to collect the children."
The two women exchanged knowing glances. Kyle returned with more dishes and conversation became more general. Sandy enjoyed her time with the women. She liked their friendly manner.
"Only two more weeks until camp," Elizabeth said. "I can't wait. With Mandy gone, we're hiring a sitter every night for the baby, and Travis and I are going to be alone. I feel like it's been years since our honeymoon."
"It has been," Rebecca reminded her. "Austin and I are doing the same thing. Paying a sitter to mind the baby is a small price to pay for romantic time with my husband. David is so excited about going to camp. I adore him, but I sure look forward to the peace and quiet."
"What camp?" Sandy asked.
Elizabeth dried a plate and set it in the cupboard. "Glenwood sponsors a three-night camp for all the children in town. They have to be five or older. It's great. All the parents get some time off and the kids are supervised. The best part is, because they go as a group, they're with people they know, so they don't usually get homesick."
She sighed. "Three whole nights and four days. I can't wait."
Rebecca looked at her. "Are your three going?"
"I didn't know about it." Although now that she thought about it, she did remember hearing Lindsay and Blake talking about a camp, but she'd thought it was the park's program they were already in.
"These are the last of them," Kyle said as he walked in carrying several serving dishes.
"Sandy didn't know about the camp," Elizabeth said, then raised her eyebrows. "I'm shocked that you haven't already mentioned it."
He surprised Sandy by clearing his throat and shuffling his feet. "The kids know about it and want to go," he said. "We were, um, discussing the best way to bring it up. Lindsay didn't think you'd want them to go."
"Why would she think that?" Sandy asked.
"She said you hadn't let her go to camp two years ago."
"But that was right after her father had died. I thought she was trying to run away from his death and I was afraid of what would happen to her. She'd never been away from home before on her own."
"Oh." He looked up and smiled. "They'd like to go."
"I don't have a problem with that."
"Good." His brown eyes darkened to the color of a midnight sky. The air between them seemed charged with electricity and she was having trouble breathing.
"Is it hot in here, or is it me?" Elizabeth asked.
But her voice seemed to come from a long way off. Sandy knew what Kyle was thinking. If the children were gone for three nights, then they wouldn't have any interruptions or excuses. There would be nothing to stop them from taking the next natural step in their relationship.
She bit down hard on her lip. Relationship? She and Kyle didn't have a relationship. They were neighbors. Friends. Nothing else.
But as she stared at him and listened to the other women chuckling at their expense, she knew it was already too late. She and Kyle were involved. There was nothing she could do except wait it out and see what happened. It wasn't as if he was the love of her life. She was far too sensible to fall for a guy like him. It was just about attraction and sex.
She could always recover from a broken heart. What she couldn't recover from was regretting something she hadn't done.
"I'll make the arrangements tomorrow," she said.