In a darkened hotel room, two lovers slept. Completely relaxed, their bodies intertwined with each other as if, even in sleep, their skin sought contact with the other.
The phone rang, jarring the silence and forcing them to wake. A long arm reached out blindly and answered it. “Um?”
“Mr. Bingley, this is your wake-up call. It’s six o’clock.”
“Thanks,” he groaned, and then hung up the phone. Turning to the woman lying with him, he said, “Jane, come on, baby, time to wake up.”
Jane’s face wrinkled like a kitten as she shook her head and moved closer to Charles, snuggling up against his shoulder.
Charles smiled. Even like this, her hair messed and her face puffy from sleep, she was precious to him. “Come on, you have to catch your flight.” A low moan and frown was his only response.
Charles laughed. “Do you remember only a month ago you were the one getting up early and I had to drag you back to bed?”
Jane smiled and finally opened her eyes. “That was because I didn’t know any better. You have since educated me on why being in bed with you is the best place to be.” She kissed him softly on the lips, but when she sought to deepen the kiss, he slid away from her and got out of the bed.
“Up, Jane! You gotta go make a video.”
“No,” she pouted. “You come back.”
“No time, angel.”
Jane threw the blankets down and posed seductively. “Charles Bingley! Come back here and love me!”
Charles looked over his shoulder and smiled appreciatively. “I do love you, Jane Bingley, but I’m taking a shower.”
Jane’s face frowned in confusion. “What did you say?” she asked, rising out of the bed.
“I’m taking a shower,” he yelled out to her from the bathroom.
“No, before that! What did you call me?” she asked as she entered the bathroom.
“What? Jane Bennet.”
“No you didn’t, you said Jane Bingley!”
“Did I?”
“Yes!”
“Oh,” he chuckled. “Got you out of bed, didn’t I?”
Jane’s eyes grew huge and a look of mock fury overcame her. “You jerk!” she shouted, struggling to keep her laughter from ruining the indignation she tried to project. Charles’s laughter prompted an additional, “You bastard!”
Charles took her into his arms, and their laughter bubbled and mingled together. In the shower, Charles took the time to wash her, committing to memory every part of her beautiful, beloved body. She would only be gone for two nights, but somehow, even that short absence seemed overwhelmingly painful to him.
Two hours later found Jane holding her sister’s hand tightly as their plane took off. The plane leveled off, and Jane relaxed her grip. “Thanks, Lizzy,” she said softly.
Elizabeth smiled. “I know I’m not Charles, but I’ll do in a pinch.”
Jane’s face lit up with her “Charles smile.” Elizabeth could feel the happiness radiating from her sister. “So how is it going with tall, blond, and handsome?”
“Lizzy,” Jane breathed, “I love him so much!” She looked as if she would burst. “It’s like every fairy tale dream I ever had has come true. He’s so perfect. He loves me so much.” She looked at Elizabeth, at a loss for words. “I’m happy,” she said simply.
Elizabeth smiled back, genuinely pleased for Jane’s happiness. “I’m glad,” she said, putting her arm around Jane and squeezing her tight, “You deserve it, more than anyone else I know.”
Elizabeth sat back and listened to Jane bubble on about Charles and the things they had done together. Her own thoughts began to drift. She couldn’t help but compare Charles to Darcy, and Jane’s happiness to her own feeling of unease. She now had proof that Darcy found her attractive, and she had exposed her own desire for him. But so what?
Elizabeth was so tired of not knowing where she stood with that man. She was sick of feeling helpless and stupid about it. Everything had seemed clear that Thursday, five days ago. Kissing Darcy had been the sexiest experience of her life, and she was no blushing virgin. Her breathing grew shallow as she remembered his lips on hers, the way he held her and whispered her name. And their dinner together! She smiled inwardly at the memory of his admission that he was as celibate as she. It was a delicious little secret all her own. She had felt very close to him then; they shared so much, almost as if they were made for each other.
She wanted to wring Georgiana’s little neck for that phone call. Rationally, she tried to convince herself that the call had been a good thing. It gave them both a chance to reflect on their actions and where they were going, but truthfully, Elizabeth wanted her rationality to stuff it! No, she didn’t know very much about Darcy. She didn’t understand much about him or even if she could trust him. She really hadn’t cared at that moment. All she knew, and wanted to know, was that he was a handsome, sexy man who was a hell of a guitarist and she just wanted him to fuck her! Was that too much to ask?
Apparently it was. Darcy returned to the tour, but the warmth they shared was gone. He was the one now pulling back in this stupid game they were playing, and Elizabeth was left out in the cold, fully exposed. She felt very vulnerable and she didn’t like it one bit. She wondered if he’d reconsidered his behavior in the restaurant and had changed his mind. It seemed the most likely explanation. She found herself remembering again his words about LBS’s willingness to do anything to hang on to fame. She wondered if he had remembered those words too.
Damn it! She hated being so hung up on one stupid remark! She knew Jane would tell her she was ridiculous, and a part of her agreed. She wished she had never heard him that night. Instead, she wanted to believe what he had told her in the elevator: “They could mix very well.” She wished, and she wanted, but it didn’t help. In the end, she could judge him only by his actions, and since his return, his behavior strongly favored the previous remark over the more recent one.
He rejoined the tour the following afternoon in a foul mood. In the days that followed, he seemed distant and distracted. Elizabeth suspected that in part it was due to worry about Richard, whose behavior had taken a sharp turn for the worse. Elizabeth was not one to judge another person’s lifestyle, but even she was uncomfortable by what she had seen.
Still, Elizabeth had to admit that even if Darcy expressed an interest in sharing her affections, it’s not like they had a chance lately. Since the incident with Collins, they had been traveling and sleeping on the buses every night. They couldn’t be together then, not even Charles and Jane attempted that.
Their only chance for some privacy was the night before, and Elizabeth admitted that then she had been the one unavailable. After the show, she discovered Charlotte crying, something she had never in all their years of friendship seen before. Elizabeth didn’t need to ask what had happened; she knew it must have been something to do with Richard. Charlotte needed her that night, and Elizabeth even begged off swimming to be with her friend.
Darcy looked at her then, his dark eyes unreadable, but she thought she sensed disappointment in them. In the bright light of the morning, she wondered if that was just the imaginings of a bruised ego.
Now she found herself uncertain again. Why was this so hard? She was not normally this stupid about relationships. She envied Jane and her certainty in Charles’s affection and wished she had a similar certainty in Darcy. It would have helped her face her fears about the day. Elizabeth was careful not to show it, but privately, she was terrified of making a fool of herself at the video shoot. She knew she wasn’t alone, and she took comfort in the presence of her sister and friend, but, and she hated admitting this, she wished she had Darcy’s support. He had a unique ability to say the right thing when she was nervous or worried, and today she missed it.
Of course, this thought made her feel all the more vulnerable. That wouldn’t do. No, she was glad he wasn’t here, she decided, because she was going to do this shoot, and she was going to do it on her own. She didn’t need him, and she was going to prove it, even if it was only to herself.
While the sisters talked, Charlotte sat silently in the seat in front them. Her own thoughts were in bleak contrast to Jane’s blossoming. Richard had left her. She was certain of it now. For all his kindness and sympathy on that day when he found her with Collins, it was clear he wanted nothing more to do with her.
Oh, he had never been cruel. He always spoke to her kindly, but it wasn’t the same. The easiness of their relationship was gone. He grew silent around her. Gone were the jokes and put-downs that she enjoyed so much. He no longer even joined her for cigarette breaks.
And then there were the flavors. Her heart contracted away from that painful thought. He had changed there as well. She watched him going through a catalog of women. There were so many, she had stopped counting. He didn’t even bother with a hotel room now, doing them backstage instead. He was out of control. She realized his addiction was back in full force; only this time it was sex rather than drinking. Her eyes pricked with tears, for she knew that she was the one who had pushed him over the edge. He was okay before she screwed everything up with Collins.
Her mind replayed the scene from yesterday, reliving the pain, like a bruise she couldn’t keep from touching. She went to him during rehearsal, early in the day. Since the incident, he had not so much as touched her, and a part of her knew it was over, but she had to try.
He had been standing apart from the others, just watching the scene around him. She noticed with a jolt that just like her, he had stopped his unconscious constant drumming. The rhythm they both lived with had disappeared.
“Richard?” She tried so hard to sound casual; she didn’t know why she even bothered. It wasn’t as if they could hide anything from each other. “I was wondering if you,” she stopped and licked her lips nervously. “I was wondering if we could be together tonight.”
Richard looked down uncomfortably and right then Charlotte knew she was in trouble. “I don’t think so, Char,” he had mumbled.
“’Kay,” she had responded, trying to hold in the hurt and keep an appearance of cool indifference.
“Char,” he said, his voice rising slightly. “I’m sorry.” His eyes looked at hers with a sadness that she didn’t understand.
Charlotte shrugged. “No big deal,” she lied. “I was just looking for a fuck.” She turned away and walked out for a cigarette.
She had four cigarettes before she was ready to return. When she did, she saw Richard already talking up a girl. Her rejection was complete. He had discarded her. Nicely, as gently and humanely as he could, but in the end, it was all the same. He had dumped her, and somewhere, somehow, he had come to mean more to her then she had ever realized.
And the horrible thing was, despite the pain she felt, despite the fact that she knew it was over, despite the fact she could see he was sick and damaged, she still loved him. She wished she didn’t. It would have made it so much simpler. He was giving her every chance to walk away, making it as easy for her as he could, and she couldn’t. She loved him, and with that love, she knew she was damned.
Winnie met the women and Alex at the airport. She smiled at them, leading them to a waiting limo. “So, how was your flight?” she asked brightly.
“It was fine,” Jane smiled back.
“Great!” she replied. “When we get to the set, I’ll introduce you to George and then we’ll get you into makeup and wardrobe.”
“George is the director?” Elizabeth asked.
“Yes, George Wickham,” Winnie explained. “He’s going to be directing this video, and the next one. He’s very good. I think you will really like him.”
“Great,” Elizabeth said with an embarrassed laugh. “I’m a little nervous, I was worried he would be hard to work with.”
Winnie smiled reassuringly. “Oh, no, Lizzy. George is very easy to work with. He’s very patient. And he understands that you’re a musician, not an actress. In fact, he used to sing himself.”
“Really?” Elizabeth asked.
“Yes, didn’t you know? He used to be in Slurry.”
“No,” Elizabeth looked at Jane and Charlotte to find similar expressions of surprise on their faces. “I had no idea.”
Winnie grinned at their reaction. “I don’t know all the details, but it’s true. He left the band about three years ago and started directing music videos instead,” she said with some indifference. “But the point is that he understands singers and you shouldn’t worry.”
Elizabeth smiled and looked forward with curiosity to meeting this man from Slurry’s past.
Darcy knocked on the door to Caroline’s room for their morning meeting. The tour personnel were given two days’ furlough to relax, but he was still working. He heard a soft giggle as the door opened.
Caroline stood there, looking content. She turned her head and Darcy saw with whom she was laughing; Faust was farther back in the room, clearly preparing to leave.
“Good morning, Darcy,” Caroline said brightly. “You’re right on time.” She closed the door and walked over to Faust.
“Good morning,” Darcy replied quietly. He was surprised, and more than a little uncomfortable, by what he saw. He realized with bitter irony that everyone on the tour was getting more action than he was. He tried to maintain a look of indifference.
Caroline laughed happily. “We were just saying I have to get back to the ‘grind.’”
Faust touched her shoulder and said, “I’ll see you later.” He passed Darcy with a nod and left the room.
Darcy looked at Caroline with frank curiosity. “Do you want to tell me something?”
Caroline refused to let Darcy ruin her good mood. “Nope,” she replied as she sat down at the table. “Shall we begin?”
Darcy’s hard stare didn’t change as he moved closer to the table.
Caroline grew annoyed. “Let’s make a deal; I’ll tell you everything about Faust and me, just as soon as you tell me why it is any of your business.”
Darcy’s expression broke and he looked away. “I’m sorry, Caro. I was out of line. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.”
Caroline smiled and accepted his apology. “It’s all right. I really didn’t mean to rub it in your face like that. We’re all a little fried from the tour. Luckily, we have a couple of days off, then two more weeks of tour, then a nice long break. I think that will do us all some good.”
Darcy nodded; he was looking forward to the break. Looking forward to Georgie’s graduation and getting to spend some time with her. To getting to forget about being Fitzwilliam Darcy, rock star, for four weeks and just be himself.
“So, what are you going to do today?” Caroline asked him pleasantly.
Darcy frowned. “I have a teleconference scheduled with Misty at two, but that’s all. Maybe I’ll do some composing.”
“Charles told me he is going Jet Skiing on the lake. You might want to join him.” She tilted her head. “It’s been awhile since you two did anything together.”
Darcy had to agree with that. Between Charles’s whirlwind relationship with Jane, Darcy’s concerns over Georgie, Richard’s behavior, and the tour, he had barely even seen his best friend outside of their performances. He found that he missed spending time with Charles. “I’ve never been Jet Skiing,” he said quietly.
“Oh, Charles can teach you,” Caroline replied with a smile. “It’s not that hard.” She watched as he considered it. She might not be carrying a torch for Darcy anymore, but she still cared about him, as both a friend and an employer, and she knew he needed to stop brooding and get out and do something fun.
Darcy smiled briefly. “I’d like that.” His expression became more serious. “Now, what have you got for me?”
Caroline nodded and slipped into work mode. She quickly updated him on their schedule and how the tour was doing. Then she took a deep breath. She knew that Darcy was aware of everything she was going to say, but it had to be said. “What are you going to do about Richard?”
“What about him?”
Caroline frowned, seeing he wasn’t going to make this easy. “He’s blown off rehearsal three times in the last week, and last night he held up the show by eight minutes.”
“Eight minutes, Caro?” he said, lifting an eyebrow.
Caroline fixed him with a hard look. “He’s losing control again.”
Darcy looked away. “What’s going on with him and Charlotte?”
Caroline pursed her lips. “As far as I know,” she qualified, “it’s over. They haven’t been together since Thursday.”
“But we’ve been on buses most of that time. What about last night?”
Caroline rubbed her forehead. “Richard hooked up with an old flame last night, someone named Ellen?” Darcy nodded in recognition of the name. “And besides, we all know full well that Richard and Charlotte have never needed a room.” Her voice took on a tone of resignation. “No, it’s over.”
Darcy looked at her. “Maybe that’s just it? Maybe he just needs time to get over it?”
“Darcy, stop doing this. He’s losing it. We all know it. It’s the same thing as last time, only now it’s girls instead of bottles.”
“He’s not drinking again, is he?”
Caroline shook her head sadly. “He hasn’t had the time, he’s been too busy banging groupies.”
Darcy sat still for a long moment, his expression grave. Caroline could read him like a book, she thought. She knew that Darcy was torn. He didn’t want to accept the painful truth and how it would affect his tour. He was losing his carefully crafted control, and he was fighting it.
“Let’s give him some time. We have the break coming up. If he is not better by then, I’ll do something.”
“Darcy!”
“No!” he snapped. “No, Caro, I cannot stop this tour again, not for him. If he has to go into treatment, that means three major tours we will not have finished! Our reputation will be completely shot! It will be the end of the band. I can’t do that!”
“You don’t have to stop the tour!”
“What are you suggesting? Get a replacement?”
“Yes, I am!” Caroline answered with equal fervor. “Look, I know he is a part of this group, and he’s your family, but he is harming the band and the tour, as well as himself.” She looked down. “It’s not like it’s you or Charles; we could replace him and keep going. I don’t like this any more than you do, but we are not doing him any favors keeping him out here.”
“I disagree! You think taking away his occupation, his identity, is going to help him? It’s the last thing he has. I can’t take that away from him and jeopardize the tour until I’m certain there is a problem.” He sucked in a deep lungful of air and blew it out. “No, Caroline, he stays with us, at least a little bit longer. This could all just be a phase caused by him being upset over Charlotte! It’s going to pass.”
Caroline looked at him flatly. “When have you ever known Richard to be upset over a girl?”
“Are we done?” Darcy asked impatiently.
“Yes,” she said quietly, with a tone of bitter resignation.
“Thank you,” he said coldly, as he exited the room.
The limo pulled up and the occupants stepped out into the bright summer sunshine. In the months of touring, Elizabeth had lost track of the seasons. She was surprised as she realized that it was June. Summer was here.
The set was a race car track. Winnie led them past miles of electric cord and cables. A small army of people was moving around, looking very busy. Elizabeth was taken aback by all the equipment and activity. It was hard to believe that this was all for them!
Winnie finally stopped in the center of the hub and spoke into a man’s ear. He turned around and Elizabeth caught her breath. He was gorgeous. Tall, with light brown hair that had been streaked blond by the sun, he wore silver-rimmed glasses that did nothing to hide his bright blue-green eyes. Elizabeth followed his deep tan down his chiseled jaw to his crisp white shirt and well-fitted jeans and sandals. He looked like he had just stepped out of a Ralph Lauren photo shoot.
“Ladies, this is George,” Winnie announced. Elizabeth was at once delighted and intimidated. Then he smiled a smile of such friendliness, she immediately relaxed.
“George, this is Lizzy Bennet, our star,” Winnie grinned.
“Lizzy, I’m so happy to meet you.” George stepped forward and took Elizabeth’s hand, shaking it cordially. He took off his glasses and looked at her appraisingly. “Have you done any video work before?”
Elizabeth shook her head. “No, this is my first time,” she smiled.
“That’s fine, Lizzy, I promise I’ll be gentle,” he grinned. “I saw your pictures, but they really don’t do you justice. You have excellent features for video,” he said warmly.
“Really?” Elizabeth asked.
“Yes, you do,” he smiled sincerely at her.
“These are Jane and Charlotte, her band mates,” Winnie continued.
George shook the girls’ hands and then turned back to Elizabeth. Elizabeth was surprised that he barely made eye contact with Jane.
“Okay,” George said professionally, “let’s get started. Winnie, can you take Joan and Charlotte to makeup and get them ready? Lizzy, I want to talk to you a little bit.”
The girls shared a look and smile over his slip, and Jane gently corrected him.
Winnie took Charlotte and Jane away and Elizabeth followed George to a small makeshift office. He pulled out a clipboard and reviewed it. “We are going to start with some concert shots, so you can get used to shooting, then I want to do some shots of you alone on the track. After dinner, we will do some night shots, and tomorrow, we will do the shots with the actual race cars. Will that be okay?” He looked at her for her approval.
Elizabeth was delighted by his suggestions. She had never been the center of attention like this before, even when she was soloing the show. “That will be fine.”
George looked at her and smiled. “Don’t worry, Lizzy. You’ll be okay.” His voice turned more personal. “I don’t mind telling you, I was listening to your song and I developed an idea of an image I want to project in the video, and you are exactly what I had in mind. That doesn’t happen too often in this business. Usually you have to fight to get the song and the singer and the video to all fit together. But I can see I’m not going to have that problem with you.” He stopped and looked down, laughing. “I know, I get a little enthusiastic. Just tell me to shut up if I get to be too much.”
Elizabeth laughed. “No, it’s great. This is not at all what I expected.”
He grinned dazzlingly at her confession. “We are going to have a great time doing this, trust me.” He put his hand on her arm. “Why don’t you go get ready, and then we’ll start filming? Okay?”
Elizabeth smiled brightly. She felt so at ease with him, it was hard not to be affected by his excitement.
By the time a dinner break was called at six o’clock, Elizabeth was exhausted yet happy. The video went better than she could have imagined. George was a dream, so supportive, and funny. Elizabeth almost died from laughing when he took a turn with her guitar dancing and lip-synching on the racetrack.
She looked at him as they walked to the catering truck. He had worked harder than her and didn’t have a team of makeup people working on him, and he still looked great. She wondered how he managed to keep his shirt so crisp after shooting all day in the sun.
He turned to her and smiled blindingly. “I’ll tell you, Lizzy, I wish everyone I had to work with was as nice as you.”
“Thanks,” she replied, “I thought I was something of a pain. I mean, how many times did I miss my mark?”
George waved an indifferent hand. “That’s nothing. I can work with missing a mark. It’s the way you don’t throw a tantrum and blame me for your screw-ups that makes you wonderful.”
“Is that the way it usually goes?”
“In this business? Oh yeah.” He handed her a plate and led her to a seat.
“Oh, Winnie was telling me something this morning,” Elizabeth said, suddenly remembering. “Did you used to sing with Slurry?”
“Yes, I did,” he replied, intrigued. “Why?”
“We’re on tour with them now.”
“Really?”
“Yup.”
“Hmm,” George said, with a thoughtful frown. “And how are they?”
“Oh, good,” Elizabeth said vaguely, not really sure how to answer that question.
“Is Darcy still Darcy?”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, hard-nosed, demanding, doing that tortured-soul bit?” he glowered in a startlingly accurate imitation of Darcy.
Elizabeth burst out laughing. “I’ll take that as a yes,” George grinned. “Have they been difficult to work with?” he asked when Elizabeth stopped laughing.
“No, not at all.” She continued, “I mean, they have their bad-boy image, but actually they’re very nice and professional.”
George looked away doubtfully. “I heard Richard got cleaned up.”
“Oh yeah, there’s almost no drinking at all on the tour.”
“That’s good,” George sounded relieved. “Richard was always such a player, you know? I worried about him.”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “He’s still a player, he just doesn’t drink.” She frowned. “He has a different girl almost every night. We call them his flavors.”
He snorted. “That’s nothing new. Frankly I’m surprised he’s the only one sleeping around.”
“Well, Charles has hooked up with Jane,” Elizabeth indicated her sister, sitting with Charlotte nearby.
George nodded. “I’ve never met Charles, but I’ve heard he’s very nice.”
Elizabeth realized that Charles must have replaced George. “He’s great. Everyone loves him.”
“What about old Darcy? Who is he seeing?”
Elizabeth felt her cheeks turning red. “Um, I don’t think he is seeing anyone right now.”
“Oh,” George said indifferently. “Is he a friend of yours?”
“No, not really,” she said quickly. “I mean we are friendly on the tour and all, but it’s not like we are close.”
George studied her coldly for a moment and then nodded. “That’s probably a good thing, you know, Lizzy?”
Elizabeth wasn’t exactly sure what he meant but nodded along with him.
“Well, we have a couple of hours to kill until the sun goes down and we set up for the night shots. Why don’t you and Charlotte and Jan go take a nice long break in your trailer? Debbie will walk you over.” George nodded at the smiling production assistant, winked at Elizabeth, and left.
The women went to their trailer and enjoyed the wonders of air conditioning. While they were there, Elizabeth told the others about George’s conversation.
“He sounds very nice,” Jane said.
“He is. He’s charming, actually,” she grinned, “and he’s so easygoing and real.”
Charlotte and Jane shared a look. “Did you ask him why he left Slurry?” Jane asked.
“No, it’s kind of uncomfortable, like asking a divorced couple why they broke up.” She wrinkled her nose and then brightened. “But I like him, and I think he’s doing a great job on the video.”
“I thought you liked Darcy?” Charlotte asked impudently.
“I do,” she said uncertainly. “But I can like two men, can’t I? It’s not like they’re mutually exclusive.”
They were interrupted by a knock at the door. “Can I come in?” George’s voice called to them.
“Sure!” Lizzy yelled back.
George entered the trailer and smiled at the girls. “Lizzy, you’re going to hate me,” he said lightly. “I know I promised you a couple hours’ break, but the sun is starting to set and it looks like we are going to have some great light for shooting. The DP wants to take advantage of the magic hour.” He looked at her pleadingly. “I know it means we’ll have to run like hell, but would you mind terribly if I dragged you back in front of the camera?”
Elizabeth grinned. “Of course not, George. What would you like me to do?”
“Marry me?” he joked. “Debbie is here to run you over to wardrobe. I want you to get into that leather outfit. You don’t need a full makeup job, ’cause I just want to shoot some long shots, okay?”
Elizabeth agreed and followed him out of the trailer. “Thanks, Lizzy,” he said, planting a kiss on her cheek, “you’re beautiful.”
Elizabeth spent a half hour in the pearly, shadowless light, dancing, playing, and strutting on the track. The warm light flattered her face and hair. Finally, George called it quits when the light had faded too much. He walked up to Lizzy and gave her a big hug. “You’re so talented. Have I told you that?” he asked lightly.
Elizabeth smiled back. “Thanks. Have you done a lot of videos?”
George led them to a pair of chairs and sat down with her. A moment later a production assistant arrived with a pair of bottled waters. “Oh yeah, De Bourgh keeps me on their ready list, so I have as much work as I need.”
“You don’t work for De Bourgh?”
“No,” he frowned, “I work for myself. I get a contract for each job. That’s pretty standard.” Elizabeth nodded. “Besides,” he continued, “I wouldn’t work for that Gorgon again.”
Elizabeth had heard Lady Catherine called that enough times she wondered if it was on her business card. “So, you direct full time now?”
“Yep,” he smiled his even white teeth at her. “It’s not what I originally had in mind, but it pays the bills.”
“Do directors make a lot?” George laughed, a warm, ringing sound. “I’m sorry,” Elizabeth blushed, “I really just didn’t know.”
George looked at her. He had stopped laughing, but his eyes still twinkled with amusement. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. No, I mean, don’t get me wrong, I make enough, but not nearly as much as the artists I’m usually filming.” He smiled. “I think that’s where they get off acting like such babies.”
“They forget you’re an artist too,” she said thoughtfully.
“I try to be, but this is sometimes not the easiest medium. I have to work quickly, with a lot of people, and that makes it hard to stay focused on creating something you are proud of.”
“Do you miss singing?” she asked.
George gave a look of resigned indifference. “Well, that’s a tough one. I mean I miss the fans. I miss getting to interact with my audience each night. But I don’t miss the long hours on the tour bus and the constant waiting and the haughty attitudes. At least here, I get to call all the shots.” He grinned wryly. “Something I never got to do with old Darcy.” He looked at her warmly. “But let’s not talk about him. We’ve got to set up for your night shoot.”
The night shoot consisted first of Elizabeth singing in a tight close-up on her face. George had been careful to cast electric blue lights on her to pick up her lipstick and eye shadow. “Lizzy, you’ve got a wonderfully expressive face; now let me see it!” George cajoled.
Elizabeth had trouble getting into her performance. She felt awkward with the camera right in her face and the whole crew pressed up so closely to her. As George encouraged her to be more natural and easy, she instead felt more rigid and uncomfortable. Finally Charlotte walked over to her between takes and whispered in her ear, “Sing to Darcy.”
Elizabeth looked at her puzzled, but before she could ask for a clarification, they called for another take. Having nothing better to do, she thought about him, not the kind man she had enjoyed dinner with, but the arrogant rock star she had first met. The man she was going to teach a few things to. She grinned as a sense of power came over her as she sang sexily into the camera. Oh yeah, Mr. Bad-boy wanted her, and as long as he did, she had the balls in this relationship.
With a cocky, coy smile she sang along with the playback while George howled his approval. “Perfect! Oh my God! Lizzy! You’re making me crazy!” Elizabeth just lifted a knowing eyebrow at him. He was another man who wanted her. She relished the power she had over them.
After several takes of just Lizzy, George brought in the others and the band played together in the blue light. After what felt like hours, George called it a wrap for the night to everyone’s relief.
Elizabeth was spent as she climbed into the limo for the ride to the hotel, but she was surprised to see George was still energetic. “You gotta know how to pace yourself,” he told her with a laugh.
Charles answered the cell phone resting on his chest on the first ring. “Jane?”
“Hi,” the voice he loved the most smiled over the airwaves to him. “How are you doing?”
“Better now,” he told her. “How was the shoot?”
“Truthfully? Very boring. The director spent most of the day shooting Lizzy. Char and I mostly sat around and waited, but my tan improved,” she added lightly. “We just got to the hotel for the night.”
“Long day,” he murmured sympathetically.
“Yeah, we had to do a night shoot,” Jane yawned.
“Sounds interesting.”
“It wasn’t,” then she giggled, “except for Lizzy.” She sighed then. “I love the sound of your voice.”
Charles grinned widely. It was still rare for Jane to talk about her feelings and even rarer for her to say the “love” word. “I love all of you, baby. I’m missing you.”
Jane nodded. “I’m missing you, too. Silly, isn’t it?”
“I know, sweetheart. It’s just for one more night, then I promise I’ll make it all up to you, okay?”
“Okay, don’t go yet,” she said quickly, unwilling to end the call. “Tell me what you did today; let me listen to you.”
Charles smiled and told her in great detail about spending the day with Darcy, Jet Skiing then having dinner.
“That sounds nice. I’m glad you had a good day off. Richard didn’t join you?”
“No,” he said, his voice expressing his unspoken concerns. “He spent all day with an old flame. I don’t think they even left his room.” He frowned. “Don’t tell Charlotte that.”
“Oh, I won’t.”
“How is she doing?”
“She’s okay, not great. I think it’s helping her to be away from… you know. It’s been kinda nice, with Lizzy doing all the work and spending so much time with George, I’ve had a chance to spend some time with her.”
“George?” he asked. “Does Will have some competition?”
Jane laughed, a melodic twinkle. “No, I very much doubt that. Lizzy is hooked; she just doesn’t know it yet. George is our director, and while he’s very interested in Lizzy, I don’t think she shares it.”
“Poor guy,” Charles said teasingly. “As long as he’s not looking at you, pretty Jane.”
“You mean Joan, or Jan, or any other variants on my name he called me today,” Jane laughed. “I don’t think he even saw me, Charles.”
“That’s strange.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m taken,” she said, her voice warming slightly, “and it’s nice for Lizzy to get the attention for once. I know she feels like an ugly duckling sometimes.”
“Oh, that’s crazy. She’s not as beautiful as you, but she is a very attractive woman.”
“Yeah, but you must know how she feels. You’re always playing second fiddle to Will in the sex appeal department.”
“Baby, the only woman whose opinion matters thinks I’m the sexiest man alive, so I don’t really care,” he said in a low growl.
“Oh, you are,” she replied with a low and sexy purr, her sister and any other topic of conversation forgotten.
Elizabeth walked down the hotel hallway back to her room, her dry towel over her shoulder. “Hey,” a familiar voice called out to her, “what are you doing?”
“Oh,” she turned and smiled at George, “I usually swim when we stay at hotels, but I forgot the pool wouldn’t be open at this hour.”
George checked his watch. It was 12:30 a.m. “This must be about the time you get in from your shows. How are the hotel pools open for you then?”
“Will has them stay open for us.” She found herself blushing but didn’t know why.
“Oh?” George said, lifting an eyebrow. “So you two are pool buddies?”
“Yeah,” she said uneasily. “What are you doing up at this hour? I thought you would be bushed.”
“I was just getting some ice.” He held up the bucket. “Want to come to my room for a drink, since you didn’t get your swim?”
“Sure,” she answered easily. She followed him into his room and sat down. A moment later he presented her with a glass of white wine and joined her on the couch.
“I’m getting the feeling that you and my old friend are more than just tour mates,” he said lightly.
Elizabeth took a sip and smiled. “Well, this is my first tour, so I can’t say for sure if we are behaving in a manner that would be unusual for tour mates,” she answered, smiling at her cleverness.
“Okay, good point.” He grinned and took a sip from his own glass. “How would you describe your relationship?” he asked.
“I told you before, we’re friendly. Why are you so curious?” she evaded answering the question.
“Oh, Darcy was an old, old friend of mine. Our fathers used to work together and we grew up together. It’s just idle curiosity,” he said, dismissing the question.
“You said was an old friend. I take it something happened?” she asked as she took another sip.
“Ah, well, yeah,” he said slowly. “Darcy and I had a falling-out a few years back.”
“Oh,” Elizabeth said, wanting to know more but unwilling to be rude. George didn’t say anything more, so she felt the burden of the conversation fall back on her. “I really don’t know too much about him.” She put her elbow on the back of the couch and rested her head in her hand. “I thought we were getting closer, but then something happened to his sister last week, and he’s been kind of cold ever since.”
George’s eyes darkened. “Is Georgiana okay?” he asked with evident concern.
“Oh, of course you would know her,” Elizabeth realized out loud. “Yes, she’s fine. She just went missing for a couple of hours and Darcy panicked a bit, I guess you could say. But she was just out with some girlfriends.”
George downed his glass, and then he silently got up and refilled it. Elizabeth watched him stare down at his drink for a long minute, until he looked up at her and grinned apologetically. “Sorry. Georgie was always very dear to me. Do you know anything more about her?”
“Not at all,” she replied, sorry she couldn’t tell him more. “Why don’t you just call her?”
George smiled bitterly. “I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he replied as he sat back down beside Elizabeth. “Georgie was the reason Darcy and I had the falling-out.”
“Oh!” Elizabeth said, her eyes wide. “What happened?” she asked before she could stop herself. She bit her lip and looked away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“No, it’s okay.” George said warmly, placing a hand over hers, which was sitting on her lap. “If you want, I’ll tell you my sad story.”
“Is it very sad?”
“Yeah, it is.” He grinned bitterly. “But, Lizzy dear, if you are getting involved with Will Darcy, you ought to hear it.”
“I’m not involved with him,” she objected.
“Yet,” he firmly added. “I know Darcy. He gets what he wants, and if he wants you, he will get you.”
Elizabeth looked at him, an expression of unease over her face. “Just listen to the story; that’s all I ask.” He pulled her closer so he could place his arm around her shoulder. Elizabeth shrugged and settled beside him, letting his words wash over her. “Georgiana Darcy and I grew up together. She was always a pretty little girl, and I looked on her as a little sister, nothing more.”
“Then I went away to college, and when I came back, the awkward teen I knew was gone, and in her place was a beautiful woman. I can still remember her at my graduation. It was like I was seeing her for the first time.” His voice became distant and wistful. “She was gorgeous, and yet she was calling my name and laughing, and rushing into my arms, like the childhood friend she was. She didn’t feel it at first, the change, but I did.
“I pined for her for six months before I let her know my feelings for her. It was right around Christmas and we had all gathered together as a family. I remember how surprised she was at first. I think she was flattered. She hadn’t realized that she had become a beautiful woman, that she was capable of being loved by a man.”
Elizabeth felt his hand playing with her hair, lightly, absently, as he told his story. He seemed very far away, lost in his memories. “It was New Year’s Eve when we first kissed, at the stroke of midnight. It was supposed to just be a kiss for luck, but it turned into more.” He grinned. “I admit it, I was completely in her thrall. We spent the rest of her vacation together, stealing moments together whenever we could. We were both so happy, discovering our feelings for each other. It was the happiest time in my life. All too soon, it was over; she went back to school, and I went back to work with Darcy.
“I didn’t see her again until that summer. She had come home on vacation, and Will brought her touring with us. We couldn’t wait to see each other. We had a great time, for a month, until one night when Will found us together.”
“What happened? Is that why you left the band?”
“I didn’t leave. I was thrown out,” he answered her blackly.
“Why?” she asked, astonished.
“Because in the end, Georgiana Darcy is an heiress and I wasn’t good enough for her,” he said with a bitter sharpness. “Don’t let that rock star exterior fool you; inside Darcy and Richard are still Fitzwilliams, old money that keeps to their own.”
“But, I don’t understand, how could he do that? Why?”
“Darcy couldn’t deal with me having a relationship with Georgie, that was all. It turned ugly. He threw me off the tour and actually threatened my life if I ever tried to contact his sister again.”
Elizabeth was shocked. “Why would he do that?”
“I think it’s a control thing.” His voice was calm and analytical. “I mean, there’s the class issue and all that. Can’t have Georgie sleeping with the help, after all. But really, I think Darcy just couldn’t stand not being in control of what was going on with his band.”
“Did you try to contact her?” Elizabeth asked sadly.
“No,” he whispered sadly. “I wanted to. God knows I wanted to. It broke my heart to leave her, but I thought it would be best. She was in many ways still very young, and it was killing her to see the two people she loved the most fighting over her.”
Elizabeth looked down into her glass. George’s story was so sad, but she had no trouble believing it. He seemed so honest. She could see it happening all too easily, just the way he had told it. She knew the way Darcy had to control everyone around him, and his overprotectiveness of his sister.
George was somehow nuzzling his lips in her hair, kissing her ear and neck. She turned her face to him, not sure if she wanted him to stop or continue and found him kissing her lips. Surprised, she opened her mouth, and his tongue snaked in to touch hers. Elizabeth was startled by how fast it had happened, but it felt so good, she didn’t resist.
Suddenly George pulled back. “I’m sorry, Lizzy. That was completely wrong of me.”
Elizabeth’s hand flew up to her lips. They were hot to her touch. She looked at his face, confused.
“You probably should go now,” he said, getting up and going to the door.
Elizabeth left the room, saying a quick good night as she passed him and returned to her own room. There she stopped and sank down on her bed. What had just happened? Her emotions churned. How had she ended up kissing George? What was this new trend of hers to kiss random men? Was she that fickle? And how did she feel about Darcy now? She slipped out of her clothes and into bed, her conscious mind unable to make sense of the differences between the Darcy from George’s story and the man she knew.
George greeted her the next morning with a warm, intimate smile. Elizabeth immediately felt comforted. It was clear that he wasn’t about to turn cold toward her. “Did you get a good night’s sleep?” he asked kindly.
Elizabeth nodded and smiled. “Good.” He took her hand. “Lizzy, I’m really sorry about last night. I probably shouldn’t have told you all that.”
Elizabeth shook her head. “No, I’m glad you told me. It’s not pretty, but I’m glad I know. Darcy can be really controlling, I’ve seen that before, but I didn’t realize how far he would go.” She looked away uncomfortably, and George released her hand, but she grabbed it and squeezed it tightly. “It’s nice to have someone looking out for me.”
“Oh, anytime, Lizzy. I know how easy it is to get taken advantage of in this business.” His expression lightened. “Now go get in costume; it’s time to play with the race cars!”
Elizabeth grinned and went to the dressing area, where she was put in a white, formfitting racing suit. She spent the rest of the day driving, and when the sun started to set, George let her announce the end of filming. Feeling victorious, she shouted to the crew, “That’s a wrap!”
Alex and Winnie took the band and George out to dinner. They were all happy, and laughter flowed with the wine. George toasted the ladies as being “the best band I’ve ever had the honor of working with.”
When they returned to the hotel, Elizabeth was happy to see the pool would still be open for hours. She quickly changed into her suit and hurried to the empty pool. Shucking her clothes and towel, she dove in and began her laps.
A few minutes later, she heard a voice calling her name. She looked up to see George in swim trunks, standing beside the pool. “How’s the water?” he asked.
“It’s great!” she answered with a smile. She watched him dive in, mentally comparing him to Darcy. Angry with herself when she realized what she was doing, she compensated by telling herself that George had better abs and a nicer face, even if Darcy had a better dive.
George swam over to ask what she was doing.
“Laps, of course!” she replied. “Come on!” She started on her previous course, aware of George swimming beside her. Elizabeth soon hit her stride and relaxed in the exertion of her usual routine. She was turning into her tenth lap when she realized that George was no longer swimming beside her. She stopped and looked around, her old lifeguard training coming back to her, but quickly spotted him, resting in the corner of the pool.
“George!” she scolded.
“Oh, no!” he panted, holding up a hand. “I need a break.”
Elizabeth grinned and swam over to him.
“You swim every night?”
“Every night I can,” she answered. “It helps me keep in shape.”
“And a very nice shape it is, Lizzy.” He seemed to regain his breath. “Do you mind if those of us not training for the Olympics just hang out here in the kiddy end?” he grinned.
Elizabeth laughed. “I’m sorry. I’m just used to—” She stopped short and looked away.
“He’s a great swimmer,” George said, his tone conciliatory. “I hope I didn’t upset you last night, Lizzy. I’m sorry again.”
“No, don’t apologize. I’m glad you told me.”
“But if you had feelings for him…”
“I was very ambiguous in my feelings for him. What you told me simply helped me to understand what I feel for him and what I want. I’m grateful for that.”
George looked at her and lifted an eyebrow. Elizabeth smiled and moved closer. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lightly. “Now that we are done working on the job, I can do this without feeling bad,” he explained.
Elizabeth let herself be drawn into a deep kiss. He was very attractive, and she enjoyed the feeling of his body next to her, but she wasn’t completely comfortable; after a little while she broke off and laid her head on his chest.
“Will you be okay, going back to the tour now?” he asked as he lightly stroked her back.
“Of course. I’m a professional. I can handle this.”
George grinned. “You are that. You are one of the most professional artists I’ve ever worked with.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Somehow this seems like a strange setting to be told that.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” she sighed and pulled closer. “It’s nice to just be held sometimes. You know?”
“I know.” His voice was warm and affectionate. “You miss it.”
“Do you still miss her?” Elizabeth asked, her voice curious.
“Sometimes,” he admitted. “I don’t think I will ever be fully over her.” He kissed her longingly. “I can’t tell you how many times I wish I hadn’t left, that I had stayed and fought for her.”
“It took courage to walk away like that,” she said, her eyes dark with admiration.
“Courage, or stupidity, I’m not sure which.” He laughed softly. “I lost everything when I walked away from her and the band. I had to start over from scratch.”
“Really? They didn’t give you your share of the money?”
“No,” he said uncomfortably.
“I can’t believe they would do that. You were like family to them. Did you go to de Bourgh?”
“Oh yeah, I did.” His face took on an expression of disgust. “She told me it was ‘band business’ and she wasn’t going to be involved.” He shrugged. “I could have sued, but that would have just brought the whole sad business out in the open, and I couldn’t do that to Georgie. So I took my licks and started anew.” He lifted his eyebrows at her. “And look at me now; I certainly can’t complain about my current position.” His mouth curled into a wicked leer and kissed Elizabeth deeply.
Elizabeth responded to his kisses, wrapping her arms about his waist. She felt her desire rising while in his arms; he was strong and handsome and wanted her. It was easy to be with him. She kissed him deeply until a wave of water splashed over them.
They broke apart, coughing and sputtering, to the sound of Jane and Charlotte’s laughter. “Oh, did we disturb something, Lizzy?” Charlotte called out.
Elizabeth blushed as she realized her band mates and Alex were in the pool and she had never even heard them enter. She moved away from George and quickly found herself teamed with the other women in a volleyball game.
The group played and laughed for an hour, the women beating the men four games to two. Finally, Alex told them it was late and they had to get some rest. “We are back on the road tomorrow.”
George climbed out of the pool with them but made no attempt to join Elizabeth. As they returned to their rooms, he said, “I want to thank you, Elizabeth. It’s not very often I get to meet such a special person as you.”
Elizabeth smiled in response. She wished the others would leave, but they seemed oblivious. “I hope I get to see you again.”
“Oh, you will. I’m contracted to do the next video with you.” Elizabeth beamed at this. “Lizzy? Can I call you?”
“I’d like that,” she said, flushing slightly before wishing him good night and entering her room. Charlotte and Jane exchanged looks with Alex and said good-bye to George as well.
Richard’s hand trailed over the flesh beside him. She was warm and so soft. He buried his face in her flat stomach, rubbing against her pliancy. He was almost there. He closed his eyes and the pain he felt was almost gone. He reached out his tongue to taste her, but stopped. The taste was wrong, and it was ruining the calm he was trying to find.
Gentle hands stroked his head, soothing him. “Who is she, Richard?” a soft voice asked. “Who is this Charlotte? Did she break your heart?”
He reared up, his eyes finding hers, stricken. “How?” he demanded.
Ellen smiled kindly. “I could take being called her name once, but after the fourth time, even I start to wonder, darling.” She wasn’t trying to hurt him, she knew he was already in so much pain, but she wondered what had happened. What memory was so horrible that he was trying so hard to forget it?
He leaned over her, his eyes wild. “Don’t! Don’t say that name again. She’s not—Just don’t!” He rolled away. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he lit a cigarette and took a deep drag until the shaking stopped.
“Richard, you know I love you, but this is no good. I’ve never seen you like this.”
Richard slumped. She was right, but he couldn’t face it. It was unacceptable. “I’m okay. I just need to get over this.”
Ellen sat up, her blue eyes filled with concern for him. “Should I leave?”
He shook his head. “No, not yet.” He lay back in the bed and drew her to him. “Stay with me till morning?” She nodded and rested her head against him. “I’m sorry, Ellen. I’m not myself.”
She smiled bitterly. “This is supposed to be news?”
He chuckled and kissed her forehead. She settled down comfortably, her limbs easily tangling with his. “She must be very special.”
He nodded. “She is.”
“I never thought I would see you get caught, Richard. Did she dump you?”
“No,” he whispered, “I left her.”
Ellen pushed herself up on her elbow and studied his face. Her expression turned poignant. “Oh God, Richard,” she said, her voice filled with sad wonder. “You really are screwed.”
“I know,” his voice was rough, “I know.”
Ellen pulled him close, holding his head against her chest and let him pour out his agony into her.
Elizabeth smiled as again she held Jane’s hand for the takeoff. “I never thought I would see you excited to be getting on a plane.”
“If it means getting back to Charles, I’d brave a dozen planes,” Jane said resolutely.
Elizabeth wished she could share Jane’s sentiment. Right now she was dreading her return. Thank God she had met George and he had set her straight. She frowned at the thought of being trapped in a relationship with Darcy. And she knew that was exactly what would have happened. She would have been trapped.
She could see it all now. Her initial impressions of Darcy had been correct. He was arrogant, selfish, and controlling. Sure, there were two sides to every argument, and she knew that Darcy saw the breakup with George differently, but that didn’t change the basic facts. Darcy had destroyed the happiness of George and Georgiana for money, for prestige, and for control. What the hell would he have done to her?
Deep inside of her, she mourned a lost opportunity. Darcy had come to mean so much to her. He was an artist like her, and his guidance had come to mean so much. While she’d never completely understood him, a part of her was excited at the possibility of a relationship with him. She knew now that was impossible.
Darcy had his good points. She couldn’t deny that, but she could not let herself get wrapped up with a man who would try to control her like he would.
That thought opened up memories she closed off long ago. She looked at Alex sitting in the seat in front of her. She could see the top of his head, the hair she once ran her fingers through as he kissed her breathless. Alex had tried to control her too. Everything that had made him a great manager had made him an awful boyfriend, and when Elizabeth realized she had to end the relationship, it had not been pretty.
Darcy would be a thousand times worse. A man who did not shy away from hurting his oldest friend and sister would have had no qualms at all about devastating her, using her for as long as he wanted, then dumping her. Oh, she knew he might want her for a long time, but in the end it would be the same.
For the first time, Elizabeth was sincerely glad that they hadn’t progressed any further in their relationship. She knew, from so many times before, that sleeping with a man put her on the fast road to heartbreak, and with Darcy, it might have been the end of her music career as well.
Fitzwilliam Darcy was simply too hot to handle. He had an intense flame that blazed within him that would burn her, consume her, and leave nothing behind. There was no more choice for Elizabeth. She had the certainty she was searching for. She and Darcy would simply not happen. They couldn’t.