142791.fb2 Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star - читать онлайн бесплатно полную версию книги . Страница 17

Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star - читать онлайн бесплатно полную версию книги . Страница 17

Chapter 14

Instinct for self-preservation alone drove Elizabeth out of her seat and into the lobby. Charles’s voice followed her, but at least she was away from Darcy’s eyes. His eyes were so angry and hurtful. As she listened to the hurtful, mocking words, Elizabeth felt sick to her stomach.

A moment later Jane joined Elizabeth, looking at her in shocked confusion. “Why?” she stammered.

Elizabeth could only shake her head and hold up her hand, not ready to speak yet.

Charlotte and Alex burst through the doors. Charlotte took a look at the Bennets’ expressions and said, “Okay, we’re out of here. Let’s go and get a drink.”

*   *   *

Darcy was pleased when he saw Elizabeth leave the theater. His temper was broken by her expression of surprise and hurt. But as his rage and vindictiveness were appeased, he found that he was left with little more than a cold emptiness inside. Intuitively he knew that he would regret his action at some point, but now he just felt numb.

“What the fuck!” the bitch producer screeched as she stormed the stage.

Caroline intercepted her and listened to her ranting for a minute as Charles and Darcy laughed together at her.

“What the fuck was that? They are not going to fucking sing that on my show! I can’t broadcast that! Everyone told me they were professionals!”

Caroline stopped her there. “They are professionals, but they are also artists,” she told her calmly. “You don’t keep professionals cooling their heels for over two hours! Now, they are not going to sing that song tonight; they were merely blowing off steam.”

“They better not!”

Anne de Bourgh appeared out of nowhere and spoke up imperially, “I promise you, Vicki, they won’t.”

Vicki glared at both the women and muttered, “They better not! Friggin’ bastards!” before marching off in an angry huff.

Anne looked at Caroline, her eyebrows lifted.

“They won’t,” Caroline said in a much less certain tone.

“Perhaps you should have a word with them.”

Caroline gave her a stiff nod while making a mental note to give herself an extremely large raise and went to speak to the band.

*   *   *

Richard walked slowly from around his drum kit to Darcy and Charles. “Well, that was fun,” he observed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Do you feel better now?”

Darcy gave him a black look but otherwise ignored him.

Charles took a moment to study the audience while Caroline and Anne talked. “Do you guys see Jane?”

Richard fixed Darcy with a look and shook his head slowly. “Oh no, don’t tell me he didn’t know.”

Darcy glared at Richard, then answered, “I saw her before, but I think she left. We’ll see them later, I’m sure.”

Charles frowned. “I really need to see her.”

“Charles, we’ve all got rooms at the same hotel. We’ll see them there, I’m sure.”

Richard exhaled loudly. He could already feel the headache starting.

*   *   *

At the King Cole Bar in the St. Regis hotel, the two Bennets and the two Lucases found a table for an emergency meeting.

Jane was pale, her hand shaking as she sipped her drink. “Why? Why would Charles do that?” she asked no one in particular. “I mean, we sort of had a fight Sunday night, but nothing to warrant this.”

Elizabeth sighed. She didn’t want to talk about what happened, but she had no choice. “Jane, it wasn’t you.”

“What?” Jane asked, completely dumbfounded.

“Want to share, Lizzy?” Charlotte asked knowingly. Charlotte hadn’t missed Darcy’s vicious expression. When compared to Charles’s “little boy acting out” expression, it told her everything she needed to know.

Elizabeth blew out a long breath. She fixed her eyes on the Maxfield Parrish mural dominating the room and told her story. “The song was directed at me. I went to Darcy’s loft last night, and one thing led to another and I spent the night.” As she spoke, she kept her voice as dry and emotionless as possible.

Elizabeth heard Charlotte snort, but she couldn’t look at her. “This morning he told me that he loved me. I wasn’t ready for that. I asked him to slow down, and he kept pushing, and in the end, he pushed me right out the door.” She stared at her drink as she stirred it, and then took a long sip.

“Bastard!” Alex seethed.

Elizabeth realized that just the night before, George used the same word for Darcy and she felt the wrongness of it. Regret colored her voice as she said, “No, no, he’s not. I hurt his feelings.” She pushed her hair back from her face. “Well, maybe he is. That song was pretty shitty. I think he thinks I didn’t believe that he was sincere. I didn’t know,” she shrugged at her own confusion.

Charlotte sat back, an expression of disgust on her face. “So let me see if I have this straight. He had amazing sex with you, then screwed you over, right?” She snorted. “Well, that’s three for three for Slurry!” She raised her glass in a mocking salute.

“But the point is Charles isn’t breaking up with you, Jane,” Elizabeth finished.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Alex said, taking the newspaper that sat abandoned on the next table. It was a city daily open to a picture of Charles, smiling, his arm around the shoulder of a scantily clad actress. The caption informed them that the picture was from the De Bourgh party the night before.

Elizabeth looked from the picture to Jane. “I’m sure this doesn’t mean anything, Jane.”

“It doesn’t really matter either way, Lizzy.” Her voice was quiet and her gaze inward. “I knew Charles was breaking up with me. This picture doesn’t make any difference.”

“Jane, he’s not,” Elizabeth said quickly. “I’m sorry. I should have told you before. Darcy told me what’s going on. Charles, um, it’s not what you think.” She frowned, frustrated. “Look, it’s something bad about his father, and while I know what it is, I really think he should tell you, because it’s personal. But I can say it’s nothing about you and him.”

Jane looked at her a long time. “He still should have told me. I’m tired of being told he loves me and to trust him, when all I’m getting shown is that he doesn’t trust me. And frankly, I don’t trust him anymore.” She sighed and took a long sip of her drink. “Well, at least we know why Dead Man Walking left the tour,” Jane said thoughtfully.

“Jane, I don’t think they left because of romantic problems with the band,” Elizabeth objected gently, while Charlotte’s mouth twisted into a smile at the idea.

“No, but they probably left because they found out what we have: that Slurry is destructive, to themselves and to anyone around them.”

“Jane?”

“Think about it. I know you were making a joke, Charlotte, but you were right. They have hurt all of us, badly. We aren’t the same as we were before the tour. We used to be so strong. And now look at us. Richard has dragged you through the mud, Charlotte. Lizzy just got her heart handed to her on a plate, and even Charles,” her voice broke here, and she stopped to pull herself together. “I can’t sing ‘Everything You Are’ tonight,” she announced finally. “It means too much to me.”

Elizabeth felt Jane’s words like a blow. “What?”

Alex snapped, “Jane!”

“No, I can’t. These men, all of them, they have done nothing but hurt us. They are destroying us.”

“What do you want to sing, Jane?” Charlotte asked quietly.

“‘The Longest Good-bye.’”

Elizabeth took Jane’s hand and squeezed it.

“You know if you do that, De Bourgh will have just cause for terminating your contract,” Alex informed them. “Anne’s been looking for a reason to get rid of you since the mess with Collins. You’ll be giving her one on a silver platter.”

The three women all shared a look of determination. “We know, Alex,” Jane told him softly.

*   *   *

It was seven when their call came. Elizabeth, Jane, and Charlotte were dressed, warmed up, and ready. Nervously, they held their instrument cases in their hands as they descended in the hotel elevator.

The tension was palpable as they walked through the lobby, regal as queens, to the doors and their waiting limo. Once safely ensconced in the car, they shared a sigh of relief. They had all feared an encounter with Slurry, but the men were nowhere to be seen.

Fate was playing a bizarre game of chance, keeping the paths of the two groups from crossing until it was too late. LBS went to the theater and settled into the pre-show green room. Then Slurry left the hotel to enter the Music Hall in a flash of cameras.

Charles was on tenterhooks. He had not been able to reach or even see Jane all day. She would not answer her phone at the hotel, and he was beginning to wonder if something was wrong. He had even cast off his chronic lateness trying to reach his beloved Jane.

Slurry sat in their prestige seats, close to the stage in the large auditorium of the Music Hall. A large screen was lowered over the stage to allow the audience to watch the pre-show.

The men had given up talking to each other; Charles was too nervous over Jane, Darcy was sulking, and Richard was too annoyed with Darcy. Caroline and Anne, both looking elegant in evening gowns, sat with them, shepherding the men.

Slurry’s attention locked on the screen when the last act of the pre-show was announced. Their personal feelings were too intense to share with each other, but each was glued to a woman taking the stage.

LBS had changed their look for the VMAs. Richard’s jaw dropped when he saw Charlotte. Gone was her short blue hair. She had let it grow out slightly and it was now dyed a soft black with a slight purple undertone. Her makeup was different too. It was softened and the overall effect was pretty, where before it was hard. She wore her trademark black, upgraded to a neat top and slim pants.

Elizabeth’s long mane had been carefully dyed, so her rich brown now had a coppery sheen. She was wearing a white, textured vest and white jeans with brown sandals.

Jane was the least changed. Her platinum locks were shorter and arranged in beautiful curls that fell around her face. She wore a white leather mini-dress that showed off her flat stomach and long legs.

The spell that the women’s appearance worked on the men was broken with the first notes Elizabeth played. Instead of the quick, light melody they were expecting, a slow, dark song began. Charles’s smile was wiped away and he looked on in confused horror as Jane sang.

It seemed so good when it started.I gave my trust to you.I came to you open-hearted,Hoping it was true.Now I’ve gotten smart.Now I’ve learned some things.Now I know that what once was a start,Is just an ending.The longest good-byeI ever knew,The longest good-byeWas the dayI said hello to you.

Darcy closed his eyes against the vision before him, but it didn’t block the song from reaching his ears. Their playing was perfect; he had never heard them better. He opened his eyes against his will, and again he saw the deep sadness in his Elizabeth’s eyes.

He grew sick with the knowledge that he had done this. Only the harsh curse of Anne sitting nearby could reach him.

“Those bitches!” she spat. “I don’t know what those whores think they are doing, but they just ended their career!” Her cell phone rang and she answered it. “Yes, Mother. I will, don’t worry!”

“Anne, wait!” Darcy spoke suddenly. “Let me talk to Lady Catherine.”

Anne glared at him, but reluctantly passed over the phone. Darcy took it and spoke quickly, “Lady Catherine?”

“Darcy?”

“Yes, it’s me. Don’t terminate them. It’s my fault they are doing this. Don’t blame them.”

Catherine’s voice was clearly surprised. “Darcy, I don’t understand what is going on here, but the fact of the matter is those girls are not performing what they were told to do.” She clicked her tongue. “I cannot tolerate that.”

“Lady Catherine,” Darcy said, his voice becoming desperate as Charles’s horrified eyes focused on him. “Please don’t terminate them. We need them for our tour. We cannot get another opening act; you know that.”

Catherine mulled. “I don’t like this, Darcy. Not at all.”

“I know you don’t, Lady Catherine. But I promise I’ll make it right. If I have to, I’ll guarantee De Bourgh’s investment—out of my own pocket. You won’t lose money on this.”

“You will what?”

“I will buy Long Borne Suffering’s contract myself. Don’t terminate them.”

Charles looked back to the horrific image on the screen while he listened to Darcy and everything clicked into place. “I’ll buy half,” he told him in a firm voice.

“Charles?”

“Oh no, Will. I have no idea what you did, but I don’t want you owning anything of Jane’s.”

Richard watched and then quietly announced, “I’m in too.”

Darcy looked at the men and then turned his attention to the phone. Catherine was listening carefully. “I heard that. And I will hold you to it.”

“Put it in writing. We’ll sign it,” Darcy growled.

“Oh, you will. Trust me on that, Darcy,” Catherine said in a clipped voice and hung up.

Jane’s song was over, and the two-minute warning was given for the main show. Slurry was out of their seats, and from their position, they watched Long Borne Suffering enter the room and take their seats toward the back. The women looked at Slurry with resolve as they took their place, knowing this might be their last time there.

Charles tried to go back to Jane, but Caroline and Darcy stopped him. “Wait for the break,” Caroline said.

Charles turned angrily on Darcy. “Tell me what happened, everything.”

As the show opened and the host sang and made jokes, Darcy softly whispered the story of the previous night, of that morning, and of the song that triggered LBS’s reaction.

Charles listened, his face expressing the betrayal he felt. “You told Elizabeth about my father? No wonder Jane—damn it!” His eyes narrowed with anger. “I should blame you for all of this, but I was the fool who trusted you!”

Darcy swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Charles. It’s my fault. I let my temper get control of me. I fucked up. I shouldn’t have had us do that song.”

Charles was struck by Darcy’s apology and the genuine regret he heard in his friend’s voice. “I just hope I can make things right with Jane.”

Darcy nodded. “I’ll do anything I can to help.”

“You’ve done enough.”

*   *   *

At the break, Slurry lost no time following LBS out of the theater and into the crowded lobby. The girls stood together, posing for pictures. A pretty woman approached Alex as he stood nearby.

“Alex Lucas? I’m Kristin D’Andrea, MTV News. We would like to have Mark Cole interview LBS when the show is over.”

Alex nodded. “That’d be fine.”

Kristin smiled as she recognized Anne de Bourgh approaching them. “Anne, you must be happy.”

Anne smiled and lied through her teeth. “We are so proud of all our artists, and LBS has certainly proven themselves tonight.”

“I heard,” Kristin said confidentially, “that management wants to work out a deal with De Bourgh to have the footage of the pre-show made into a video.”

Anne smiled and winked, and then laughed as Kristin moved off. “You’re damn lucky, Lucas,” she breathed coldly under her breath.

“Don’t I know it,” Alex replied while he smiled to the crowd.

*   *   *

“Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth froze as she heard his voice. A chill raised goose bumps along her arms. She wished she could be angry with him, but she couldn’t. At this point, she just felt sorrow about everything. She turned to Darcy and smiled politely.

Darcy’s heart contracted painfully with her polite smile. “I wanted to compliment you,” he told her. “Nice show.”

“You too,” she said coolly.

Darcy understood her perfectly. “We’re not done yet.”

“I am,” she replied quietly and moved off.

*   *   *

They watched each other as Richard slowly moved closer to her. Richard had an open smile on his face, revealing his clear admiration for her new look.

“Hey, Char,” he said easily. “You look great.”

Charlotte leaned forward and without thinking about it, lightly kissed him on the lips. “Thanks, Richard.”

As the words left her mouth and she pulled back, they were both stunned as they became aware of their actions. Suddenly all the easiness between them was gone.

“How was your week off?” Richard asked nervously.

“Good,” she answered automatically, then smiled quickly. “It hasn’t really been much of a break. We’ve been doing appearances almost every day.”

Richard nodded, suddenly very aware of his hands, which wanted to touch her again. He was so focused on controlling them he almost missed her question.

“How have you been?”

“I’ve been good,” he replied. “I’ve been doing some thinking.” He looked down at his feet, then back into her face, laying his emotions bare to her. “When we get back together for the tour, maybe you and I could talk.” He paused and smiled uncertainly. “There are some things I need to tell you.”

Charlotte looked at him, unable to accept the open affection in his face without breaking down. “If we go back on tour,” she said lightly, trying to hide in humor.

“Oh, you’ll be there. Your performance was a huge hit. You’re now De Bourgh’s latest discovery.” His voice emphasized the last word.

“Oh,” Charlotte said, her surprise evident.

“That is, if you want to come back to the tour. I…” he paused and shrugged. “We would all be very sorry to see you and the others leave.”

Charlotte thought a moment, completely stunned by the change in their fortunes. “We’ll have to see what happens, won’t we?” she replied cryptically and walked away. As she returned to the theater, she found she couldn’t erase the vision of Richard’s face, of his open affection and admiration, from her mind.

*   *   *

Charles came up to Jane and stood next her, handing her a drink. He tried to talk to her, but when he opened his mouth, he found himself speechless. He could only stare at Jane, his eyes overflowing with emotions.

“Not now,” Jane said quietly, all the while maintaining a pleasant expression. “Not here, Charles.”

“Jane,” he choked out.

“No.” Her eyes looked into his, and for a second the curtain lifted and Charles could see the ruined emotional landscape she was hiding from everyone. “No, Charles,” she told him as the curtain fell and Jane returned to her bright and smiling mask.

Charles felt like his soul was being ripped from his body as he watched Jane and Elizabeth walk back into the auditorium.

He spoke to Darcy, who was standing next to him like a shadow. “We are singing ‘Feel Me’ tonight.”

Darcy nodded in complete agreement. “Charles, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t talk to me, Will,” Charles said, holding up a hand. “Just don’t talk to me. In fact, after tonight, I don’t want to see you again.”

“Ever?” he asked softly.

Charles exhaled a long breath. “We’ll see after the break is over.”

*   *   *

The introduction was made. The audience applauded and the lights came up. But it didn’t matter that thousands of people were cheering for them; the three men played only for three other people in the house. With an expression of intense earnestness, Charles sang:

In a world full of lies,I don’t know what’s my own.Passions I can’t understand andFeelings I can’t control.When confusion buries me,You reach out your hand.And when I look at you,The chaos fades away.You alone, is what’s real to me.You show me the way.Touch me.Hold me.Feel me.Heal me.Let me be with you.

As Jane watched them play, she felt her heart break. What was happening? She had started the day thinking that Charles was about to dump her, and now she was breaking off from him and he was begging her, in song, not to turn away.

As Darcy played, Elizabeth felt it again: his power, his strength. It was the third time he had played for her, and each time he moved her profoundly.

She couldn’t look at him anymore, so instead she turned to Jane and watched as her sister’s face crumbled. Elizabeth put her arms around her, and they held each other up, as Darcy’s deep voice joined Charles’s in the chorus, surprising Elizabeth even more than she already was.

All three women were stunned by the message they knew was for them. Slurry was not going to let them go without a fight. Their lovers were pleading with them to not leave, to come back.

It was a bizarre reversal of events, and all Elizabeth knew for certain, as she looked at Jane’s shattered face, was that they needed to pull back, and get some distance, before they could move forward.

*   *   *

Caroline stood alone watching the scene before her. Darcy and Richard had left as soon as the VMAs were over. Caroline would have been happy to escape with them, but Charles insisted on going to the De Bourgh party. She felt pity as she watched Charles hovering around Jane, who was ignoring him.

Caroline hadn’t been able to hear their brief conversation, but Jane’s body language made it clear. She was not willing to listen to anything Charles would tell her. She felt her twin’s pain as he couldn’t leave her yet couldn’t be with her, doomed to circle her like a planet orbiting the sun. Jane was politely talking to a writer and an actor Anne had introduced to her, and together they were discussing the possibility of LBS’s doing a theme song for an upcoming movie.

Caroline felt a certain boredom with it all. Slurry had done several soundtracks and the experience had only shown her that the movie industry was more shameless than the music industry. At moments like this, Caroline found she shared Darcy’s disgust with the whole business.

Caroline turned away and her eyes fell on Elizabeth Bennet. Elizabeth was talking politely with the people standing next to her, but Caroline knew her well enough to know she was bored.

Caroline made excuses and took Elizabeth away from the group and to the refreshment table. “I hope you don’t mind,” she told Elizabeth.

Elizabeth chuckled once. “No, I’m quite in your debt. I have never met such boring or fake people in my life.”

Caroline smiled in agreement. “Now you know why Darcy avoids these like the plague.”

“Is that why he’s not here?”

Caroline knew the curiosity in her voice was more than just idle conversation. “No, I don’t think so, but why don’t you tell me, Lizzy?”

Elizabeth’s eyes met hers, and Caroline waited while Elizabeth considered the offer. Finally Elizabeth said, “Could we find a quiet place to sit?”

Caroline nodded and led her to a private corner, near the windows. Elizabeth looked out into the darkness and tried to find a starting point.

“He loves you, you know,” Caroline said, relieving Elizabeth of the burden.

“I do now,” Elizabeth replied softly. “I know you all must think I’m really stupid, but for the longest time, I didn’t think he liked me at all.” Elizabeth gave a bitter huff. “Change that: I also think I’m stupid.”

“Lizzy,” Caroline said gently, “why did you think he didn’t like you?”

“Because he was so cold and abrupt when he spoke to me. And he said things that were very arrogant and hurtful.”

“He can be hard, Lizzy. No one knows that better than me. But believe me, he never meant to hurt you.”

“You mean before today.”

Caroline nodded and sighed. “Yes. What happened today? I’ve never seen him like this.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “I guess everyone is going to know now.” She shrugged. “What the hell? It’s not like I don’t live in a damned fishbowl anyway.”

“Did you sleep with him?” Caroline asked her calmly.

Elizabeth nodded. “And in the morning, he told me he loved me.” She could hardly believe it had only been this morning.

“What happened?”

“I ran.”

Caroline had to laugh at the irony of it. “If it’s any comfort to you, Elizabeth, I think that you’re both stupid right now.”

“Thanks,” Elizabeth said sarcastically. “You know what, I actually agree with you.” She put her hand to her face and rubbed her forehead.

“So what comes next?” Caroline asked.

“I don’t really know. We tried to get kicked off the tour, and I’m told we fucked that up good, so frankly, I just don’t know.”

Caroline smiled. “The one time you are trying to not advance your career and you end up giving yourself a huge boost, right?”

Elizabeth nodded and held up her hands. “I don’t get it.”

“I’m sorry, Lizzy. You need to work this out for yourself, but I can tell you one thing: Don’t give up.”

“On what? The career or Darcy?”

“Both, actually, but I meant Darcy.” Caroline looked at Elizabeth, letting her true feelings rise. “He’s a good man. He’s one of the best men I know. He’s very hard, I know that, but he does love you, and he only wants to make you happy.”

“And this afternoon?”

“He was hurt, badly, and lashed out.”

Elizabeth nodded. She knew that, but it validated her feelings to hear it from someone else.

“I know he comes on strong, but that is his way. He doesn’t realize that other people can’t read his mind. He thought it was clear to you that he loved you.”

Elizabeth nodded, feeling very sad inside. “You love him, don’t you?”

Caroline smiled. “Of course I do.” To Elizabeth’s unasked question, she said, “I love him enough to want to see him happy. And that’s you, Lizzy.”

“Caro, I don’t think he will ever want to see me again after today.”

Caroline reached out and rubbed Elizabeth’s arm. “Of course he does. He loves you, and one little spat isn’t going to change that. Couldn’t you see it during ‘Feel Me’?”

Elizabeth nodded, her lips tightly pressed together, and Caroline took her into her arms and hugged her. “It’s okay, Lizzy. You go home, and take a couple of weeks to get your head together. Darcy will be waiting when you come back.”

Elizabeth blinked back her tears. “I will.”

Elizabeth walked to her sister, suddenly very tired. “Let’s go,” she told Jane. Jane nodded and found her eyes resting on Charles.

“Have Alex get the car, okay, Lizzy?” she told her as she stared at Charles.

Elizabeth nodded and stepped away, letting Jane have her needed privacy.

Jane signaled to Charles that he could come to her now. “Can I touch you?” he asked softly.

Jane shook her head no.

“What happened, Jane?”

Jane knew she owed him an explanation. “I realized some things this afternoon, that Slurry was hurting us all, and we needed to stop it. To pull away.”

Charles’s eyes revealed the pain he was feeling. “Why didn’t you talk to me?”

“I tried,” she said, her voice dropping to an intense whisper. “I tried to talk to you and all I got was ‘wait.’ And I waited, and what did I get? ‘It’s All a Joke’!” Jane stopped and visually struggled to regain her control.

“So you did hear that?”

Jane nodded, her eyes cast downward.

Charles pushed aside a surge of anger. “Jane, that was never about you. I don’t know how you could ever even think it was.”

“But I did!” she answered him, her voice full of wretchedness. “I did! I thought you were tired of me and I thought you wanted to break up with me. And frankly, now I don’t know what to think.”

Charles’s expression sobered. “My God, Jane, I love you!”

Jane looked like she had been struck. “Please. Don’t say that.”

“Jane?”

Jane took a deep breath. “I have to go.”

“But we need to talk.”

Jane shook her head. “Charles, I don’t trust you, so I don’t know what we have to talk about.” She turned and left the room, rushing so he wouldn’t see her tears.

*   *   *

The next morning, Jane took Elizabeth to the train station. Mechanically Elizabeth got a ticket and took the metro north to Grand Central Station. There she took a subway down to Greenwich Village.

As she rode, her mind traveled like a train on the same track. She remembered the events of yesterday, from waking up in Darcy’s arms, all the way to her talk with Caroline. She traveled the same route again and again, without finding any answers.

She was so deeply lost in her thoughts that she was only slightly surprised to find herself not at the lot where she had left her truck a lifetime ago but at Darcy’s building. She realized that her thoughts weren’t going to give her any peace, so she entered the building and asked the doorman to announce her.

The doorman was a kind man who had been in the Darcys’ employ since the late seventies. He recognized the young woman from her last visit. “I’m sorry, Miss Bennet. Mr. Darcy is away and won’t be returning for a few weeks.”

Elizabeth was shocked at the disappointment she felt. She thanked the man and left the building, feeling completely adrift. Numbly, she returned to her truck, paid the huge bill, and started her drive home.

Automatically, she turned her radio on. She smiled when she heard Jane’s voice singing to her.

Once I could believeEverything you promised.That pretty story you told me,I held it close and loved it.Now I’ve gotten smart.Now I’ve learned some things.Now I know that what once was a startIs just an ending.The longest good-byeI ever knewThe longest good-byeWas the dayI said hello to you.

With a deep breath, Elizabeth accepted that she was going down. She couldn’t avoid it. She didn’t know where he was and couldn’t contact him for at least two weeks.

Oh, she knew in an emergency she could reach him, through Caroline or something, but this was hardly an emergency.

No, she had to face her worst demon now: herself. She had two weeks to do what Caroline told her to do: pull herself together and figure out what she wanted. She laughed to herself. She didn’t need two weeks. All she needed was twenty minutes. She wanted him.

The song ended and the announcer came on. “That’s Long Bourne Suffering, who really stole the show at the MTV awards last night. And you can see LBS. They are touring with Slurry now and they have dates coming up at Madison Square Garden at the end of this month. I’ve got tickets for that show for caller number twelve…”

The words died away but not the impression. It was a surprise to Elizabeth to realize that she had reached one of her goals. Her band was being talked about on a major radio station. Somewhere, during the tour, she had become a hit. Oh, they still had a long way to go, but they had made it.

Elizabeth found the knowledge puzzling. She had dreamed of this for so long and she had expected that when she made it, she would feel different, be different. She looked in her rearview mirror at her reflection.

The face she found there was basically the same, but as she stared, she found tiny differences. Mileage, the voice in her head told her. She wasn’t the same Lizzy Bennet who had left on tour back in March. But she wasn’t quite finished either.

The other thing that surprised her was how little her success meant to her. She was surprised and certainly happy. But she certainly wasn’t fulfilled as she had always imagined she would be. Success had proven to be not a panacea but merely a job. She received satisfaction from her job well done, but that only went so far. She found that she still needed something. She needed Darcy.

He wasn’t perfect, that was for sure, but she needed to talk to him. She needed to find out what she felt for him, to figure out if he was right.

With a deep breath she realized her train of thought had finally stopped. She had the answer she needed. And now she needed to wait.