Lady Justice
In Care of Brittle & Sons, Printers
London
Dearest lady,
Enclosed in this modest package find not a kettle of edibles nor another portrait of yourself (with a tail). I see how those trinkets of my affection may have missed the tide. I give to you now only that which any gentleman admirer might give to a lady: poetry. Samuel Taylor Coleridge, to be precise. I offer it because having received back all the gifts I have sent you, I need guidance as to what you may accept from me as gift. Quoth the Ancient Mariner:
If he may know which way to go;
For she guides him smooth or grim.
See, brother, see! how graciously
She looketh down on him.
My lady, looketh down on me with gracious mercy and return not this humble gift.
Yours &c,
Peregrine
Secretary, The Falcon Club
To Peregrine, at large:
You preen. You strut. You will be plucked. Then I will have only this to say to you, “The game is done! I’ve won! I’ve won!”
Lady Justice