I'm not that sensitive, Meg. Everybody knew what my old man was like.
He could
remember, too well, the pitying looks, the glances that slid uneasily away.
It
bothered me back then, but not anymore.
She struggled to find the right words.
Did Coco-did it do any good?
He was silent a moment, staring out at the lowering sun and the bloodred light it poured into the water.
He was afraid of her, so he beat the hell out of me when she left.
Oh, God.
I'd just as soon she didn't know that.
No.
Megan had to swallow the hot tears lodged in her throat.
I won't tell her.
That's why you ran away to sea, isn't it? To get away from him.
That's one of the reasons.
He reached over, ran a fingertip down her cheek.
You
know, if I'd figured out the way to get to you was to tell you I'd taken a strap a few times, I'd have brought it up sooner.
It's nothing to joke about.
Megan's voice was low and furious.
There's no excuse
for treating a child that way.
Hey, I lived through it.
Did you?
She shifted back to him, eyes steady.
Did you ever stop hating him?
No.
He said it quietly.
No, I didn't. But I stopped letting it be important, and maybe that's healthier.
He stopped the car in front of The Towers, turned to her.
Someone hurts you, in a permanent way, you don't forget it. But the best revenge is seeing that it doesn't matter.
You're talking about Kevin's father, and it's not at all the same. I wasn't a helpless child.
Depends on where you draw the line between helpless and innocent.
Nathaniel
opened the car door.
I'll carry Kevin in for you.
You don't have to.
She hurried out herself, but Nathaniel already had the boy in his arms.
They stood there for a moment, in the last glow of the day, the boy between them, his head resting securely on Nathaniel's shoulder, dark hair to dark hair, honed muscle to young limbs.
Something locked deep inside her swelled, tried to burst free. She sighed it away, stroked a hand over her son's back and felt the steady rhythm of his breathing.
He's had a long day.
So have you, Meg. There are shadows under your eyes. Since that means you didn't sleep any better than I did last night, I can't say I mind seeing them there.
It was hard, she thought, so very hard, to keep pulling away from the current that drew her to him.
I'm not ready for this, Nathaniel.
Sometimes a wind comes up, blows you off course. You're not ready for it, but if you're lucky, you end up in a more interesting place than you'd planned.
I don't like to depend on luck.
Thaf s okay. I do.
He shifted the boy more comfortably, and carried him to the house.