After a day of falling in the mud, scraping paint, and hauling in a twenty-pound bag of puppy food, Meredith stood in the shower for several minutes, letting the hot, pulsating water work on her sore muscles. On the other side of the shower curtain, snuffling sounds and nails clicking on tile kept her well aware of the fur ball’s movements around the small bathroom.
“I still can’t believe I let myself think that guy was interested in me.”
The puppy barked in response to her voice. Meredith smiled and worked honeysuckle-scented shampoo into her hair. “Maybe it is a good thing I found you, if you’re going to talk back to me. Now people won’t think I’m quite as crazy when I talk to myself out loud. I just don’t know if I’m ready for a dog.”
Meredith nearly tripped over the puppy when she got out of the shower. She pushed him back with her foot to keep his claws from her bare legs. His wagging tail caused his whole body to wriggle. How could she give up such unadulterated, uninhibited love? “Okay. I’ll put signs up, and if no one has contacted me in a week or so, I’ll take them down and you can stay with me.”
She took extra time styling her shoulder-length hair and applying makeup. Even though she would only be with her parents and siblings, if she showed up the way she preferred—jeans, sweatshirt, and well-worn work boots—Mom wouldn’t speak to her all night. But Meredith would definitely hear about it in undertones and insinuations all day tomorrow.
Her sisters could wear designer jeans and nice tops. But none of them worked for Mom and Dad. Meredith bypassed the closet full of denim and comfortable clothes and went instead to the closet holding her more expensive, work-appropriate attire.
After twenty minutes, she sank onto the side of the bed amid a pile of tops and pants. She hated feeling like she had to be “on” all the time around her family. But it kept at bay the whispers and hints that her choice in casual clothes might have something to do with why she was still single.
“What will I be most comfortable in?” she asked the clothes now strewn across her bed.
She chose her utilitarian black slacks—the size twelves that were somewhat loose in the waist—and a light turquoise cashmere twinset with a little beading around the neck. She stepped into her favorite loafer-style black pumps and turned to admire the look in the antique cheval mirror. Knowing Mom, she’d be dressed similarly.
“No, no, no!” She pushed the puppy away with one foot as he pounced on the hem of her pant leg. “If you’re going to stay with me, you’re going to have to learn better manners than that!”
Unabashed, he sat and hunched over to scratch at his new collar.
“Get used to it, bubba. Come on. We’d better take you out before it’s time to go.”
Pleased with his performance outside, she took him back into the bathroom, where she picked up the rug and draped it over the shower curtain rod. In its place, she put down a triple layer of newspaper and an old towel for him to sleep on.
As soon as she closed the door, he cried and whined his displeasure. She ignored him.
With the lint roller in hand and balancing on one foot so she could get the dog hair off the hem of her pant leg, she buzzed the intercom to Jenn’s apartment.
“What?” Her sister’s voice crackled through the speaker.
“You about ready to go?”
“It’s only—crimenetly. I didn’t realize it was already six. I’ll be down in five minutes.”
“Jenn. You know how I hate—”
“Being late. I know. But everyone will blame me, not you.”
Eight minutes later, Jenn clattered downstairs and entered without knocking. “Wow, Mere, you’re awfully dressed up.” Jenn, of course, looked fabulously stylish in her dark indigo jeans with penny loafers and a bright green turtleneck sweater.
Meredith quirked the corner of her mouth in a grimace. “You know how it is with Mom.”
“Yeah, I know. She gives you a hard time. But that’s only when you show up in the rattiest stuff you own—” Jenn cocked her head. “What in the—Is that a dog I hear?”
“A puppy. Come on—I’ll tell you about him in the car.”
“I want to see him.” Jenn barreled through the apartment and opened the bathroom door before Meredith could stop her.
“He’s so cute!” Jenn’s voice reached the extreme high pitch usually brought on by a baby sighting. She crouched and scooped up the puppy. “Let’s take him over to Mama and Daddy’s.”
“No. Jenn, look—you already have fur all over your sweater. Can you imagine how Mom would react if he had an accident in the house?”
Jenn’s expression shouted incredulity. She stood and tucked the squirming pup under her arm. “Mom loves dogs. She’s the one who kept Daddy from getting rid of Jax, even after Jax completely lost control of his bladder. He’s coming.” Jenn marched past. “Why you’ve gotten it in your head that they’re going to disapprove of everything you do or say...”
Because I’m the only sap who went into the family business. Well, that wasn’t true. Rafe had worked for their parents for a couple of years, flying one of the corporate jets. But he didn’t have to work with them day in and day out—and he’d left the company late last year to work for a charter airline.
The only reason Meredith had seven siblings was because her parents thought that all of them would run B-G so they could retire early. With a master’s degree in art history, Meredith hadn’t really had any job options other than going to work as an assistant event planner ten years ago.
Sometimes she wished she’d been brave enough to pursue her dream of working in home design, but as that had not been deemed a viable job choice by her parents—
“Hey! We going or what?” Jenn stepped back into the apartment. “Coming.” Meredith grabbed her keys and wallet off the table and followed her sister outside.
“Can we take your car?” Jenn asked, walking around to the passenger side of the SUV. “The ’Stang’s top is still leaking.”
Meredith rounded the tail end of Jenn’s classic Mustang, already expecting to be the one driving. She climbed into the Volvo and started the engine.
“So, how’d you end up with this little guy?” Jen nuzzled the puppy, who joyously licked her chin.
Meredith buckled her seat belt and pulled out of the driveway, relating what had happened. By the time she parked under one of the centuries-old oak trees in front of their parents’ house, she’d gotten to the part about taking the pup to the quick clinic at the pet store.
“Yeah? Well I think I’d be kinda wiggly, too, if someone was trying to stick a thermometer there.” Jenn cooed gibberish at the dog and climbed out of the vehicle, tucking the puppy under her raincoat for the dash to the front porch.
Sighing, Meredith popped open her umbrella and followed her sister up the sidewalk.
With the exception of all the furniture still being shoved up against the walls in the front rooms, little evidence remained of the hundreds of people who’d likely crowded the house for most of the day.
The front door opened behind her, and she turned. Forbes closed his umbrella and stowed it in the rack beside the door. She waited for him; he hooked his arm around her neck and kissed her temple.
“Did you have a good day?” He eased the headlock and settled his arm across her shoulders as they strolled down the hall.
“Yep—well, for the most part. My stupid brother provoked me into an argument this morning.”
He squeezed his arm tightly around her neck again. “I apologized.” She nudged his side with her knuckles; he released her and danced away, squirming. “I know. And you were right—it was better for me to find out ahead of time instead of being blindsided by it. Did you forewarn Jenn, too?”
“Uh ... no. You know she can’t keep a secret to save her life.”
Meredith wrinkled her nose. “She might not take it as well as I did.”
“I know. But we’ll cross that bridge—”
“There you two are.” Mom greeted them as soon as Meredith and Forbes entered the kitchen. She looked Meredith over from head to toe. “Do you have a date after this or something?”
Meredith glanced at Forbes, in his form-fitting black turtleneck and jeans, then back at their mother—also in jeans. She plastered on a smile. “Oh, I thought I’d try to make everyone else feel completely underdressed for a change.” Would she ever be able to do anything right when it came to her parents?
“Well, come on and get some food.”
As in years past, almost every inch of counter space in the generously sized kitchen was covered with trays and pans of food. Growing up, Meredith and her siblings had always looked forward to dinner on New Year’s Day because they got to eat the leftovers from the open house—including as much dessert as they wanted.
Family members milled about, filling plates, while some had already migrated into the great room beyond the kitchen’s breakfast bar.
Rafe vacated the rocking chair and offered it to Meredith. “Don’t want you getting your fancy duds messed up.” Though his voice lilted with teasing humor, his eyes held sympathy and understanding.
“Thanks.”
At her youngest sisters’ high-pitched voices, she looked across the room and saw them feeding bits of Aunt Maggie’s gourmet food to the puppy. Her brothers were more interested in the football game on the flat-panel TV mounted above the crackling fireplace—even Forbes seemed to be getting involved in the game between two teams from faraway colleges no one in this family had ever cared about before.
Finally, at eight o’clock, Meredith’s father turned off the TV. “Well, here we are, at the start of another year. This time we have a new face with us.” He motioned toward Marci’s boyfriend with an outstretched hand. “Welcome, Shaun. I’m not sure if Marci explained exactly what it is that we do here on New Year’s.”
“Yes, sir, sort of like what most families do at Thanksgiving.”
“Right—except we’re giving our goal for the upcoming year and what we intend to do to reach it. Last year I believe Forbes went first?” Lawson shot a raised-brow glance at his oldest son.
“Yes, sir.”
“Then it’s youngest to oldest this year. Tiffani, take it away.”
As her youngest sister started talking about her upcoming semester at college and grades and school projects, Meredith mentally rehearsed her goal: finishing renovations on the house and getting moved and settled in. No, it wasn’t creative or soul-searching, but really, what else did she have in her life?
An image of Major flickered in her mind’s eye. She wished she had Major in her life—more than as just an infatuation that wouldn’t go away. She forced her mind to replace his image with one of Ward Breaux. Had he been flirting with her before he knew she might need a contractor? Sure, he’d been a little condescending, but he’d seen her as a woman, not as “just one of the guys” as most of the other men she’d ever known did.
Jonathan and Kevin gave their goals—both also talking mostly about college. When Marci’s turn came, Meredith set her own relationship musings aside and paid attention. Marci launched into her goal—changing her major to nursing and, in another two years, finally finishing school.
“That’s an admirable goal, Marci. You know we’ll support you no matter what career path you choose.” Dad’s eyes twinkled, and the corners of his mouth twitched. Like Jenn, he was horrible at keeping secrets. “Shaun, would you like to participate?”
Though almost thirty years old, Shaun squirmed like a schoolboy in the principal’s office. “I’m really happy to have been included in your family’s tradition.” His gaze darted around the room, but he didn’t make eye contact with anyone. Seated on the floor in front of her, he turned to face Marci and raised up onto one knee. “Marci, we’ve been together for four years now. I can’t imagine spending my life without you by my side. Will you marry me?”
Marci shrieked a yes. Meredith swallowed and blinked hard.
Jenn fled the room.
Meredith groaned. Not good. Fortunately, Marci and Shaun were too preoccupied with each other to notice Jenn’s reaction. Meredith dabbed the corners of her eyes with a napkin and stood, waving her mother back down. “Let me.”
She passed through the kitchen and down the main hallway, calling her sister’s name. She followed the sound of sobbing to the powder room under the elaborate staircase. She knocked softly. “Jenn?”
“Go away.”
“Jennifer.” Meredith tapped on the door again.
“Go away! I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
“Do you want me to go get your stuff and tell the family you’re sick and we’re going home?”
A long pause. “No.”
“Then talk to me. You can’t stay in there all night.”
The doorknob rattled and clicked; Jenn didn’t come out, though. Meredith pulled the door open. “May I come in?”
Jenn perched on the closed commode, elbows on knees, weeping into a wad of toilet paper.
Meredith closed the door behind her and leaned against the edge of the pedestal sink.
“It’s not fair,” Jenn wailed.
“What? That Marci’s engaged? Or that she’s twenty-four and engaged?”
Jenn moaned into her fistful of tissue.
“Look, I understand—”
“How could you possibly understand what I’m feeling?”
Meredith rocked back, the words hitting her like a sucker punch to the gut. “Wait just a minute. You haven’t forgotten that I’m almost three years older than you, have you? And that I’m having to figure out how to accept the fact that my sister who is ten years younger than me just got engaged?”
“But you’ve never been in love—you’ve never even dated! How could you understand what this means to me? I’ve been trying for half my life to find what Marci found with her first boyfriend.”
Meredith separated the hurt and anger Jenn’s words caused from the need to counsel her sister through this emotional crisis. She’d deal with her own emotions later. “Just because I’ve never dated doesn’t mean I’ve never been in love.”
Once again the specter of Major flickered in Meredith’s mind, but she shoved the thought aside. “When I was in college, I fell in love with someone who didn’t return my feelings, and I had to stand by and watch him marry a girl who was supposed to be a friend of mine: my roommate, who knew I was in love with him. So how do you think it makes me feel to know my younger sister has found something I’m still searching for? Something I’ve been searching for longer than you? How do you think I feel every time a handsome, interesting man asks you for a date? Or when Rafe doesn’t come to Thursday night dinner because he’s on a date? Or being maid of honor for Anne?”
Jenn sniffed, but her sobs subsided.
“We can’t begrudge Marci the fact that she found the love of her life at a young age. We both know all she’s ever wanted out of life is to be a wife and mother—yes, I know you want that, too. But you and I both had aspirations for our education and for careers. Look at how successful you’ve been with the restaurant. Do you think you could have done that with a husband and babies to take care of?”
“But I’ve been praying so hard for God to send me my husband. What’s wrong with me?”
Meredith moved to kneel in front of her sister—after shifting the rug closer with her foot—and rubbed Jenn’s upper arms. “Remember that just because it seems like God isn’t giving us the main desire of our hearts doesn’t mean He’s not working in other areas of our lives—blessing us in ways we can’t see because we’re focusing so hard on the one thing we want but don’t have.”
“How can you be so calm about this?” Jenn grabbed a fresh wad of toilet paper and patted her face dry.
“Because I’ve had all day to think about it.”
“Forbes?”
“Forbes.”
Jenn rolled her eyes. “I swear he knows everything everyone in this family is going to do three days before we know we’re going to do it.”
The continued celebration of Marci’s engagement created enough chaos that only their parents, Forbes, and Rafe looked at Meredith and Jenn in concern when they returned.
Though she smiled and laughed, Jenn remained subdued for the rest of the evening, cuddling the puppy on her lap. As they walked out, Forbes wrapped his arm around Jenn’s shoulders and leaned his head close to hers. Rafe came up beside Meredith and encircled her waist in a quick half hug and walked with her toward the front door.
“Crazy, huh?”
“What do you mean?” Meredith tilted her head to study her younger brother’s profile. Though he would turn twenty-nine in a few weeks, she could still trace elements of the pudgy-faced, red-haired little boy.
“I mean that Marci is the first one of us to get married. I always figured it would be Jenn.”
Rafe’s words pressed salt into the gaping emotional wound Jenn’s had ripped open. “Gee, thanks.”
“Oh, come on, you know what I mean—Jenn had her first serious boyfriend when she was barely fifteen.”
“The first one Mom and Dad knew about, you mean.”
“Yeah.” Rafe opened the door.
Meredith shivered in the cold, damp air and buttoned her jacket.
“She’s taking this kinda hard, isn’t she?” He nodded toward Jenn and Forbes, standing next to Meredith’s SUV. Jenn hugged the puppy to her, like a shipwreck survivor hanging onto a buoy.
“She’ll get over it—as soon as she finds a new boyfriend. And that won’t take long.” But Meredith wasn’t certain about herself. She’d known a day would come when her younger siblings started getting married, but she hadn’t expected to still be single when it happened.
“So long as she doesn’t make any rash decisions, like eloping with the next guy who asks her out.”
Meredith laughed and dug her keys out of her purse. She used the key fob remote to unlock her car. “You know Forbes would never let any of us make a rash decision about anything.”
“He’s so ... I don’t know, anal retentive or obsessive-compulsive or something. He needs serious psychological profiling.”
“I think all they’d be able to tell us is that he’s a massive control freak.”
“Y’all talking about me?” Forbes turned to face them while opening the car door for Jenn. “Because there’s only one control freak allowed in this family.” He waggled his eyebrows.
“Rafe, are you in town Thursday?” Jenn settled the puppy on the floor while she fastened her seat belt.
“I think I get in late in the afternoon, so I should be there for dinner.” He blew her a kiss then hugged Meredith.
“Fly carefully.”
“I always do.” Rafe clasped hands with Forbes then trotted off to his classic red Corvette in the driveway.
Forbes closed Jenn’s door then walked around the SUV to stand with Meredith. “What’re you thinking about?”
She couldn’t bring herself to admit to her emotional turmoil over tonight’s events, not even to Forbes. “Just stuff.”
“Marci-related stuff?”
“Yeah—sort of.” She leaned against the door—then regretted it when the beaded raindrops soaked through her jacket.
“You want to share?”
Tell Major’s best friend in the world that she’d had a crush on Major for eight years? “I don’t think so.”
He reached over and squeezed her shoulder. “I think it would be good for you—you know how you get when you keep things bottled up too long.”
“I’ll take it out on the house.” She sighed. “Are you coming to dinner Thursday night?”
“Of course. I have to be there to orchestrate my siblings’ and cousins’ lives, control freak that I am.” He opened her door and waited until she was in with her seat belt fastened before closing her door, then waved as she drove away.
Jenn stayed quiet on the fifteen-minute drive home, staring out the window and slowly stroking the sleeping puppy in her lap. Approaching the large Victorian—one of the largest on the block of turn-of-the-twentieth-century houses in Bonneterre’s garden district—Meredith could see lights on in the second-floor windows. Once in the driveway, she recognized the dark Buick parked behind Anne’s convertible.
George was over—probably for dinner and a movie ... with a little work mixed in, now that he was officially Anne’s business partner as well as her fiancé.
Melancholy caught in Meredith’s throat. She was tired of praying the same prayer Jenn had lamented earlier: When, oh Lord, will it be my turn?
At least Jenn dated—a lot. Meredith didn’t even have that opportunity. Even if she weren’t in love with Major, she never seemed to meet eligible men anymore. None of the single guys at church had ever shown the least interest in her; they’d always vied for Jenn’s attention. Meredith had even tried the online dating thing. But whenever she started getting close with someone, a feeling of dread—of wrongness—overwhelmed her, and she withdrew.
“Can I keep the puppy with me tonight?” Jenn asked as she trudged across the back deck.
“Sure. You’ll need to let him run around the yard before you take him inside, though, since he hasn’t been out for a while.”
“I know how to take care of a puppy.”
Meredith forgave her sister’s snappish tone and bade Jenn good night. Meredith didn’t bother turning on the lights but felt her way through the dark apartment to her bedroom. She changed into her favorite pajamas—an old Bonneterre High School T-shirt and stretchy cotton-knit shorts—and climbed into bed.
The tears she’d been fighting all evening welled up and overflowed onto her pillow. She couldn’t deny it anymore—Major would never return her feelings. She had to move on, find someone new.
Meredith turned on her back and stared at the shadowy ceiling. Though she’d told her family her goals about the house, a new, more important goal begged to be made, to be spoken aloud.
“Lord, my real New Year’s resolution is that I won’t still be single by this time next year.”