“Oh, Lizzy,” cried Jane, “I must confess he is a blaze! The most delightful, handsomest, cutest guy I have ever had the good fortune to set eyes on.”
“And you, Jane, are quite the most delightful, handsomest, cutest girl he has ever had the good fortune to set eyes on. The perfect match.”
“Oh, don’t tease me, Lizzy. And what of his sisters? Were they not awesome? Quite the most elegant creatures you ever beheld?”
“Elegant they may be but proud and unfriendly. First they spent their time frazzling in the sun to avoid conversation with us, and when this became too dull for them, they talked only to themselves, constantly keeping to starboard when we were on port, and when we moved to port, I could not fail to notice that they moved straightaway to starboard.”
“Oh, Lizzy! I am sure they meant nothing of that. They were simply trying to keep the boat well balanced for our comfort.”
Lizzy was not convinced but did not pursue the matter for fear of upsetting Jane. Bingley’s sisters were indeed fashionable ladies, educated at a reassuringly expensive public school, who had inherited a fortune healthy enough to keep them active in the clothes shops around Sloane Square when in London—a hobby that for the summer season was being successfully maintained by diligent visits to the clothes’ shops of Salcombe. The young ladies had made regular visits to the birthplace of Jack Wills. In addition, Crew, Joules, Fat Face, White Stuff, Quba, and Amelia’s Attic had all felt the beneficence of these diligent shoppers and had happily yielded up their designer carrier bags to allow jackets, hats, stripy shirts, polos, hoodies, sweatpants, and jewellery to be transported back to Netherpollock.
Mr Bingley himself had inherited an equally fine amount of money on the passing away of his father. This had been a most distressing time, since Bingley was only a young fellow with his life ahead of him and barely out of “A” levels. His intention to spend it on bricks and mortar had been encouraged by his older sisters, who planned to escape the north and spend their inheritance on houses in London but were keen to encourage him to buy a holiday house in Devon, where they could all holiday and keep the family together in such sorry times. The sisters contacted agents in Devon and Cornwall, and soon the particulars of tempting residences were dropping through the letterbox. But Bingley, still in mourning for his father, and with the likelihood of re-takes looming, was proving obstinately slow at doing anything with his newfound wealth. It was only on a visit to the dentist that Lulu, reading a surprisingly up-to-date copy of Country Life magazine, saw “a gem of the Devon coastline’ for sale, immediately fell in love with it on behalf of her brother, popped the magazine in her Gucci bag, and within half an hour of leaving the dentist with her jaw numb, had left the magazine open on the kitchen table of their family home in the north. And so it was that the young Charles Bingley spotted Netherpollock in Country Life , announced to his sisters that “Dash it all! It’s what the parentals would have wanted’, and that he must have it, caught a train to Devon, a taxi straight to Salcombe, a water taxi across to Netherpollock, where he met the affable agent, ran around the house, enthusing at its splendid views, its delightful proportions, and was generally so happy and satisfied with everything that he put an offer in there and then and did not sleep soundly until he had exchanged and the property was his.
Happy in Netherpollock, happy with his sisters, happy with his steady friendship with Darcy, Bingley could not have been more different from the latter. Whereas Bingley was all smiles, Darcy was all grumps. Bingley made friends wherever he went; Darcy always managed to offend. But Bingley admired Darcy and took note of his judgement—Darcy, after all, was superior in intellect; not that Bingley was totally deficient. It was a reflection of his easygoing nature that Bingley was not offended by Darcy’s superior, fastidious nature, and the two spent much time in each other’s company. The manner in which they discussed the Pemberley drinks party perfectly reflected their characters. Bingley enthused he had never met such splendidly delightful girls in his life, whereas Darcy complained he had never seen a collection of people for whom he had so little regard. He did admit that the eldest Miss Bennet was very pretty, but she smiled too much. On the subject of Jane Bennet, the Bingley sisters agreed that she was a pretty, sweet girl whom they could tolerate in company. This was enough encouragement for Bingley to feel he could think of her as he chose.