The following day, a tremendous drumming sound swept over Island Street. The Bennet girls rushed out to see what the commotion was. Hovering above was a black Sikorsky helicopter, which to the astonishment not only of the Bennet girls but of all those holidaymakers idling in the street, seemed to be intent on descending.
There was a widening of the road at the town end of Island Street, a flattish area, and it soon became apparent that this was the destination of the aircraft. People duly scattered, and upon landing, the helicopter’s door was flung open, and to the utmost amazement of Lizzy, out stepped Lady Catherine de Brrr. She immediately walked with an air more than usually ungracious and burst uninvited straight into the sitting room of 3 Island Street to the surprise of Mrs Bennet and Mary, the former who had been sitting engrossed in Hello magazine, the latter in Electrical Surges II . A side whisper from Lizzy enlightened Mrs Bennet as to the identity of the invader and the mode of transport. Mrs Bennet was thereafter all graciousness. After all, anyone who arrived by helicopter, even if they interrupted a good read, must be worthy of polite attention.
“This is your mother, I suppose, Miss Elizabeth Bennet?” said Lady Catherine as way of introduction. “And that is a sister?”
“Yes, Lady Catherine,” replied Lizzy, still astonished by her presence.
“I see there is a brackish sort of backwater over there.” Lady Catherine waved in the direction of Batson Creek. “I would be grateful if you would accompany me on a short rowing trip, Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”
Lizzy obeyed out of curiosity rather than anticipated pleasure. She got out two life jackets from the chest in the sitting room, took the oars from the wall, and followed Lady Catherine, who was already marching out of the house.
Lizzy untied Angelica and rowed Lady Catherine down the picturesque inlet towards Lower Batson. Lady Catherine immediately launched her attack.
“Miss Elizabeth Bennet! How dare you even consider being engaged to my nephew, Mr Darcy! How could you! You are quite outrageous! An upstart! Mr Darcy is engaged to my daughter!”
The helicopter had now taken off and was following Lady Catherine’s moves. Her ladyship waved with dramatic effect up at the aircraft, and Lizzy could just make out the pale face of Miss de Brrr peering out, terrified, from the sky above.
“If he is engaged to your daughter,” said Lizzy, puffing violently as she tried to balance the boat to prevent it being swamped by the waves caused by the downwind from the helicopter, “you can hardly suspect that he could be engaged to me!”
“Insolent girl!” cried Lady Catherine, standing up in fury. The sudden movement caused the boat to lurch dangerously, and Lizzy was caught off guard and fell backwards, almost into the water. Lady Catherine toppled forward and, taking advantage of her new position, leant forward further, digging her sharp red nails into poor Lizzy’s neck to emphasise her next point.
“And do you promise never to be engaged to my nephew?”
“I will promise no such thing! But since you are intent on killing me, why should you care?”
“Insolent, ungrateful girl!” yelled Lady Catherine, now incandescent with rage. Lady Catherine’s nails were formidable and were locked onto Lizzy’s neck as their owner ranted and raged. Lizzy could feel the final breath being squeezed from her limp body. Somewhere in the haze of near death, she saw Lady Catherine signal to the helicopter hovering above. A hook was lowered down, and Lady Catherine attached it to her diamanté belt. As Lizzy passed in and out of consciousness, she was aware of Lady Catherine being lifted from her and swept up and away towards the hovering helicopter, still screaming, “Insolent, ungrateful girl!” The pressure released from her throat, Lizzy choked and coughed until, coming round, she saw the helicopter disappearing towards Bolberry Down, Lady Catherine leaning from the open doorway, shaking her fist, and Miss de Brrr peeping out of a window. Lizzy recovered herself and rowed back to 3 Island Street, hardly knowing what to think.