By five in the morning the San Francisco sky had turned pale gray. Nash had lost count of the cups of coffee he'd consumed. He'd managed to talk the bank robbers into releasing the bodies of the two men they'd killed before Nash had arrived, and one pregnant woman who had gone into early labor. There were still fifteen people and three men with guns inside the ground-floor bank building.
FBI agents, local police and SWAT teams circled the high-rise. There were sharpshooters in place. The media was being kept at bay, with a live news feed being set up across the street.
Jack sat with Nash in the specially equipped vehicle in front of the bank.
“Now what?" Jack asked.
Nash didn't have an answer. Becker, the guy he'd been talking to for the past several hours, hadseemed like he was ready to discuss releasing more hostages, but then had hung up unexpectedly. The bank's surveillance cameras had been disconnected by Becker and his buddies when they'd first taken hostages, so getting a look inside that way wasn't an option. A long-range camera had shown the three men having what looked like a heated argument.
“I'm guessing one of them doesn't agree with Becker's plan to give up," Nash said.
Sometimes that happened. Some criminals would rather shoot it out and face death than accept the consequences of prison. If that was the case, if a man was prepared to die, there weren't many rescue options.
“Can we take any of them out?" Jack asked.
Nash looked down at the bank floor plan he'd been given. Becker had said the hostages were being held in the vault. The door was open, but the civilians were still out of the main section of the bank. If Becker was telling the truth, then the sharpshooters could fire into the bank without hitting the hostages.
“We can't take one of them out," Nash said. "Even if we planned an armed assault for one or two seconds later, there would still be enough time for hostages to be killed. What are the odds of us getting all three of them at once? I don't want any dead civilians. Not on my watch." Jack nodded. In this situation, Nash was in charge.
Nash rose and stepped out onto the sidewalk. The street had been blocked off, which would be hell on the morning commute. His stomach grumbled.
Frowning, he tried to remember the last time he'd eaten. Not since arriving. The men inside hadn't, either. Or the hostages. He picked up the specially equipped cell phone that not only connected with Becker, but also activated a recording device and transmitted the call back to the FBI truck.
As he punched in the number, he shifted slightly. Then he had to move again. What the hell? A rumbling sound grew as the ground began to roll.
Nash swore. Great. Just what his morning needed. A damn earthquake.
The rolling grew in intensity, as did the roaring sound. People began to yell. A few screamed. He looked up at the tall buildings all around him and figured he'd better head for cover. Just then the doors of the bank burst open.
A tall, dark-haired man ran onto the sidewalk.
“Don't shoot," he yelled, holding a cell phone in one hand and a gun in the other. He tossed the gun on the ground.
Nash was on him in a second. "Becker?" he yelled, even as he twisted the man's arm behind him and physically dragged him away from the bank.
“That damn building is swaying like a boat," the man cried out. "It's gonna fall and I'm not going to be crushed to death like some bug." Behind him, still in the bank, another man was screaming for Becker to get his sorry butt back inside. The ground continued to roll and shake, distracting everyone.
Nash grabbed his radio. "Now," he called out. "Get in there now!" The rescue team swanned the front of the bank. With the earthquake still rumbling Nash couldn'thear the crash of the bank's rear door being blown as the rest of the team entered that way. Three shots were fired, then there was silence. Nash clutched his radio. – "One gunman shot," a voice said. "One captured. The hostages are all safe."
“How are you going to explain the earthquake in your report?" Jack asked several hours later as he sat on a corner of Nash's temporary desk in the San Francisco office.
Nash leaned back in his chair. "Sometimes we get lucky. That's all it was."
“It was more than that," his boss said. "Before you arrived, they'd killed two people. You put a stop to that. You're good at what you do."
“Thanks." Jack stood up. "Either I was wrong about you burning out or you got what you needed from your vacation. You're welcome to come back anytime you'd like." He grinned. "Is tomorrow too soon?" Work. Nash's refuge. Was he ready to return so quickly?
“Let me get back to you on that," he said.
Jack raised his dark eyebrows. "You sure about that?" Nash nodded. "I'll finish my report and see you on my way out."
“Fair enough." He left and Nash turned his attention to the computer screen. But instead of entering his report, he found himself thinking about what had happened that morning. How a 4.2 earthquake had saved fifteen hostages. As he'd told Jack, it had been little more than dumb luck. As always, there were circumstances out of everyone's control. Even his.
He placed his fingers on the keyboard, then dropped his hands back onto the desk. Well, hell. What do you know, he thought grimly. He couldn't control the world. If he were honest with himself, he might admit he couldn't control much of anything. Life happened, and he didn't get to decide which way it was going to go. He'd never been able to decide. No matter what he wanted or expected or needed, life had its own plan and didn't consult with him.
Today he'd gotten lucky. Two years ago, he hadn't.
Nash rose and crossed to the window. He stared out at the skyline of the city, but instead of seeing the tall buildings, he saw the bomb explosion that had killed his wife.
He hadn't known. No one had known. Tina had acted impulsively. He hadn't killed her. He'd never been responsible. Maybe he'd never believed he was. Maybe wallowing in guilt over not stopping her death had been easier than facing the truth-he felt guilty because he'd never loved her.
He should never have married her. He saw that now. Maybe he'd always known that, too. But he'd been in his late twenties. It had been time for him to get married, settle down. She'd been there and she'd wanted him. He'd been flattered. When she'd suggested making things permanent, he couldn't think of a reason to say no. He cared about her, they got along. He hadn't known what love felt like. He hadn't known the possibilities.
But after a few months, he'd seen that they'dmade a mistake. He'd tried to talk to Tina, but she'd refused to admit there was anything wrong. After a night of fighting, they'd gone to work and she'd been killed.
She'd deserved to be loved. Everyone did. Including him.
Nash stiffened. Had he been the only one living out a part, or had Tina, too, been going through the motions? He would never know. He couldn't go back and make things right with her. But he could make the future better. He could let go of what had happened. He could learn from his mistakes. He could risk living again. He could risk love and belonging or he could continue to live on the outside, always looking in, never connecting.
One way was safe, one was guaranteed to be complicated and messy. What did he want? And what was he willing to risk to get it? The twins sat on the edge of the bed and watched while she packed up Nash's clothes. According to the news, the hostage situation had ended that morning. Stephanie had been half expecting to get a phone call, but when noon came and went without a word, she accepted the fact that he was gone forever.
Reminding herself that she'd been the one to say he didn't have to come back wasn't making her feel any better. Nor were the boys' long faces.
Jason swung his feet back and forth, clunking his heels against the pedestal of the sleigh bed. "But Nash likes being here," he said mournfully.
“I know he had a good time," she said as she folded shirts and stacked them together. "You're supposed to enjoy your vacation." Adam didn't speak. Instead he stared at her with eyes full of hurt.
Her own control was already more than a little shaky. It wouldn't take much to push her over the edge. She tried to smile.
“We'll be fine," she told the boys. "It's summer, so there's no school. Isn't that a good thing?" They both nodded without a lot of enthusiasm. She knew how they felt. In less than a week, the B &B would be filled. She would be running around like a crazy person. But the thought of paying guests and plenty of work didn't ease the sharp pain in her chest. She felt as if her entire world had been shattered.
No more relationships, she vowed silently. She and the boys couldn't handle it. She'd gone and fallen in love with the first guy she'd slept with since Marty's death. Her sons were missing Nash, as well. If one man could mess up her life in just a couple of weeks, what would happen if she actually risked dating? It wouldn't be the same, a small voice whispered. She sighed, knowing the words were true. She'd fallen in love with Nash. It didn't matter who she dated. He'd claimed her heart and it would be a long time before she was able to offer it to someone else again.
She dropped the shirts into the open suitcase, then faced the twins.
“I can't believe it's barely the first week of summer and you two have long faces," she said.
“Brett says he's not coming out of his room," Jason told her.
“I know. But you know what? I have a great idea that's going to make us all feel better." Neither twin looked convinced. She didn't feel convinced, either, but she was going to pretend to be fine-for their sake. Tonight, like last night, she would lie awake, missing Nash, longing for him, wishing it could have been different. But during the day, she would keep it all together.
“We're going to the pool," she said and waited for the cheers.
“Okay," Jason muttered.
Adam simply slid off the bed and walked out of the room.
Stephanie stepped into the hall and crossed to the bottom of the stairs. "Brett, get your swimsuit," she yelled. "We're going to the pool. And yes, you have to go." Vivian opened her door. "Is everything all right?" she asked kindly. "The boys seem very quiet today."
“They're missing Nash," Stephanie admitted. "I thought hanging out at the pool with their friends would help." Vivian's dark eyes turned knowing. "Will it help you?"
“I'm a little old to be healed by water sports," she said, determined to keep her tone light. "But it's always fun to get out." She waited for Vivian to ask more questions, but Nash's mother simply smiled. "Do you mind if Howard and I tag along? We're enjoying our time with the boys." Stephanie hesitated. The last thing she needed was for her sons to bond with more people who were leaving. But it would be rude to say no. Besides, on a purely selfish level, she liked hanging around with Nash's folks. Not only did they remind her a little of him, they were good people whose company she enjoyed.
“You're more than welcome," she said. "Just be warned that it gets pretty noisy."
“No problem. Give us five minutes to get ready." The Glenwood community pool complex was as crowded and loud as Stephanie had imagined it would be. There were actually three pools-a shallow one for children under the age of six, a six-lane lap pool and a massive round pool that dated back to the fifties when a rich newspaper baron had moved to town and donated the land and money for the structure. Over the years, the main pool had been refurbished, but the original shape had never been changed.
Stephanie led her group to a place in the shade. Most of the older kids and teenagers congregated on the cement border of the pool, while the families took up residence on the grassy slope leading to the video-game hut and snack bar. She spread out towels, double-checked that the boys had been covered in sun block, then gave them the okay to head for the water.
She promised Vivian and Howard that she would return shortly, then made her way to one of the half-dozen lifeguards on duty. There she gave the names and ages of her three boys, pointed them out andconfirmed they had each attended swimming classes and were strong swimmers.
She was about to return to Nash's parents when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned and saw Elizabeth Haynes.
“I didn't know you were coming to the pool today," she said with a smile. "There's a group of us here." Elizabeth laughed. "I suppose we always travel in groups, don't we? Have you heard from Nash?" As several of the Haynes brothers had still been around when Nash had left, word of his assignment had spread quickly. That morning she'd received a couple of calls asking for updates. She wasn't sure why anyone in his family thought he would stay in touch and the reminder that he hadn't didn't make her feel any better. Still, they were nice people who weren't responsible for her broken heart and she did her best to be polite.
“I saw on the news that the hostage situation ended successfully," she said. "But other than that I don't know anything." Elizabeth smiled. "I'm sure he'll be back shortly." Stephanie nodded, even though she doubted she would ever see him again. Oh, they might run into each other sometime when he was out visiting family or here for the war games, but by the time that happened she intended to be well over him. Which meant she shouldn't plan on crossing paths with him for about twenty-five years.
“Are Kevin and Haley with you?" Stephanie asked. "Vivian and Howard have braved the pool." She pointed up to where they'd placed their towels. Elizabeth glanced toward them and waved.
“Let me go tell the others," she said. "We'll join you." Stephanie couldn't protest-not without sounding rude. And it wasn't that she didn't like the Haynes family-it was just that they reminded her too much of Nash.
It was only for one afternoon, she told herself as she returned to Vivian and Howard and prepared for the onslaught. She could survive that. Tonight, when she was alone, she would give in to the tears that hovered right beneath the surface of her self-control. Eventually the raw edge of the pain would dull into something bearable.
In a matter of minutes Elizabeth and company had joined them. Names of children in the pool were passed around and Haley and Elizabeth took the first shift of watch. Stephanie sat next to Rebecca who made her laugh with tales of teaching her oldest son, David, the ins and outs of using the washing machine.
“He didn't believe me about sorting colors," Rebecca told her. "And there was this bright red T-shirt."
“I know exactly what happened." Rebecca grinned. "The boy has pink underwear. He's humiliated." Stephanie tried to concentrate on the conversation. But Kevin was with them, as was Kyle, and every time she caught sight of a tall, dark-haired man, she thought of Nash. Her heart instantly started pounding and her thighs went up in flames. Then she had to remind herself that he was gone. Whenthat happened, a fresh wave of pain swept through her and threatened to pull her under.
She found herself wishing for the impossible and imagining what life would have been like if Nash had wanted to stay. If he'd fallen in love with her, the way she'd fallen for him.
Rebecca leaned close. "Whatever happens, I want you to know the family will always be there for you."
“I appreciate that," Stephanie told her.
She knew what Rebecca meant-that even if things didn't work out for her and Nash, the family would still look out for her. She could call on them in a time of need. Another kindness, she thought, trying to be grateful. There was no way for Rebecca to know the words sounded like the closing of a metal door, locking her in a prison of memories from which she would never escape.
The twins climbed out of the pool and ran up the slope. She picked up their towels and handed them over as the boys approached.
“How's the water?" she asked.
“Not too cold," Jason told her.
Adam frowned slightly. "Brett's talking to a girl," he said, the confusion in his voice making it clear he didn't understand why anyone sensible would want to do that.
“Really?" At twelve? Was that the right age for that sort of thing to start? She glanced around the pool and found her son sitting on the edge on the far side. Next to him was a pretty red-haired girl with a bright smile. Brett said something, then ducked his head. The girl laughed.
Stephanie's longing for Nash increased. She wanted him to be here to share the moment. She wanted to ask him how things were going to be different as her son became a teenager. She wanted
“Are you all right?" Rebecca asked in a low voice.
Stephanie nodded, then had to brush unexpected tears from her cheeks. She couldn't speak. Not without breaking into sobs. Control, she told herself. She had to get control.
Rebecca said something else, but Stephanie couldn't hear her. It took her a second to figure out that a loud noise had filled the sky. She looked up and saw a helicopter approaching,
“It's Nash," Jason yelled as he scrambled to his feet.
Stephanie couldn't blame her son-that was her first thought, too. Even so, she told both him and herself it wasn't possible.
“Nash wouldn't take a helicopter back to Glenwood," she said. Assuming he was even coming back.
But Jason didn't care. He raced toward the rear fence of the complex and swung open the gate. Adam was on his heels. As she got to her feet, Brett ran past her.
“It's Nash," he called. "Hurry!" She walked after them. Even if it was Nash, his return didn't mean anything had changed. She was going to have to talk with the boys tonight and remind them that Nash had been a guest and nothing more. They weren't She froze just inside the gate. Once again two sheriff's cars blocked off the street as the helicopterset down. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest as a tall, dark-haired man stepped out.
Her sons flung themselves at Nash. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but Nash bent low and hugged them all. Her eyes filled with more tears. She couldn't do this, she thought. She couldn't pretend she didn't care, which meant she was about to make a fool out of herself in a very public way.
But even the threat of humiliation didn't stop her from running toward him.
Nash straightened and held out his arms. She crashed into him and hung on, knowing she never wanted to let go. She wanted to be with this man forever. Did she have the courage to tell him the truth? Did she really think she could hide it?
“I missed you," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her so tightly she could barely breathe. "Every minute." The intensity of his words gave her hope. "Me, too." He kissed her hard, then pulled back enough to look at her face. His dark eyes blazed with a fire she'd never seen before. "I want to change the rules," he said. "I don't want to be a temporary guest. I don't want to leave. I want to make things complicated and messy and permanent. I love you, Stephanie. I love you in ways I've never loved anyone before. I want to marry you and grow old with you. I want us to have one of those marriages that makes young couples sigh with envy. I want to have a baby with you. If the legend is true, you'll even get that girl you want." She couldn't speak, couldn't think, couldn't do anything but listen to the melodic sound of his perfect words. He loved her? Really?
“You love me?"
“Yeah. Are you shocked?" Relief and happiness and promise and hope swept through her making her feel as if she could float on air.
“I'm stunned," she said, then kissed him. "I love you, too. I know I wasn't supposed to, but I couldn't help myself."
“I'm not about to complain. Will you marry me, Stephanie? I know we have a lot of details to work out, but they're just logistics. I can relocate. Hell, I can get a different job. I just want to be with you and the boys." Someone tugged on her T-shirt. She looked down and saw her kids standing next to them.
“Say yes, Mom," Brett told her.
Nash chuckled. "Okay, guys, we need a little privacy." The boys grumbled, but took a few steps back. He turned back to her.
“I know the last time you ran off with someone you'd only known a few weeks, it was a disaster. So if you want to take things slow, I'll understand. I want to be a partner in this marriage. I want us to take care of each other. It's not going to be one-sided, but I'm willing to prove that to you, rather than have you take my word."
“Oh, Nash." She leaned against him and sighed. "You've already proved that a hundred times over. I love you and I want to be with you always." She looked into his eyes. "Yes, I'll marry you. There's nothing I want more."
“All right." Nash pulled her off her feet and swung her around. "She said yes," he yelled.
There was a collective cheer. For the first time she noticed the Haynes/Harmon/Reynolds clan had gathered around them.
“We have an audience," she murmured.
“I know. They're my family. Your family, now. Maybe we should give them a show." He lowered her back to the ground and pressed his mouth to hers. It was a kiss of love, of passion and promise. Stephanie responded in kind, as words of congratulations washed over them.
My family, Nash had said with pride. He was no longer the man on the outside, looking in, she thought happily. He'd become a part of them, and of her. He'd come home.