I’ll just check out their website, Lacey thought to herself. It’s not cyberstalking if I’m legitimately looking for a property. Keeping an eye on her office door, she typed in the website address on the card she'd retrieved from the floor of her car this morning.
Without warning, Lacey’s door burst open and Liz Chamberlain came stalking into the room. “Walter is back. And he doesn’t want anyone touching his catheter, except you.” Liz said. She dropped a thick file in the middle of Lacey’s crowded desk, and slumped down in the chair across the desk from her.
It was the following day, and Lacey was back at work at The Health Unit, but she couldn't stop thinking about that house or the gorgeous man who had built it. Working as a Clinical Resource Nurse meant that she didn't have as much contact with patients as she had in her previous position as a Home Health Nurse. As a CRN her job had become more administrative, dealing with process and overseeing care rather than actually tending to patients. But occasionally one of her long-term clients insisted on her attention to their surgical wounds or catheters.
Walter, an 85-year-old Lothario was one of her more aggressive regulars. It didn't really matter to him that she'd been promoted. Usually she didn't mind, but today she was distracted and more than a little frustrated. All thanks to that sexy builder. She sighed and barely glanced up from her computer screen at her friend and coworker. “My job is sooo glamorous. Where is Walter now?"
"He's in clinic room two, but no rush. Chelsea is with him, changing his bandage. He's okay with above the waist action, but saves below the waist for you." Liz looked at her friend, puzzled when her comment didn't get much of a reaction. "What's up, Lace? You've been out of it all day."
"It's nothing. Really. I just have a document I'm trying to get together for a meeting and it's not going well."
Liz snorted. "Bullshit. You are such a sucky liar. What's really going on?" She came around the desk and looked at the screen over Lacey's shoulder. She was amazingly quick for a woman nearly six feet tall. Lacey scrambled to turn off the monitor, but it was too late. Liz had seen what was on Lacey's screen.
"Kingston Brothers?" Liz exclaimed, her freckled brow wrinkling." Aren't they builders or something? Did you find a place? Holy shit, are you going to build your own place? I'm so jealous!"
"No, no. Nothing like that. Maybe if I won the lottery. I just toured one of their places this weekend, and I was curious to see what else they were working on."
"Hmmmm… then why are you looking so guilty?"
"Because I'm using my work computer to look up personal info."
"Oh, Please. Seriously. Stop it. Don't even try to lie. You're just embarrassing yourself."
"What? You make it sound like I spend my days looking at midget porn," Lacey said indignantly. "I'll have you know that I very rarely use my company internet access for anything but work."
"Right. I seem to recall you using it last week to look up the lyrics to 'Eye of the Tiger.' Explain to me how that was work related."
"Alright. Consider me busted. But if you harass me about this, you will be doing wound care on the next anal abscess that comes through that door. Mark my words."
"Yeah. Yeah. Huge threat. Like that would be my first ginormous, infected, ass wound. Just another day at the office for me, sister. But I appreciate your attempt at abusing your power like that. We'll make a dictator nurse out of you yet," Liz teased. "But if you tell me what's got you all off kilter, I'll try to restrain myself from harassing you too badly."
Lacey hesitated. If she told Liz about her infatuation with one of the Kingston Brothers then her friend was going to pressure her to contact him, and make plans to ride him like Secretariat as soon as physically possible.
Liz was not one for playing games when it came to the opposite sex. Or anything else for that matter. The attractive red-head knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to ask for it. And when she met a man she liked she wanted it quick, dirty, and with no strings attached. Unlike Lacey, who was sadly repressed when it came to sex, at least according to her more adventurous friend.
Maybe Liz would have some good advice, Lacey thought. Liz was certainly more successful with men that she was. It couldn't hurt just to get her perspective, could it?
"Well, I met one of the Kingston Brothers at an Open House, and now I'm contemplating cyberstalking him. But I can't quite seem to make myself go past the home page of their website. It just seems like I'm invading his privacy, or something."
"Oh my God! Are you serious? You finally met someone non-repulsive and non-gay, and you can't even look him up online? I would have had a Private Dick and a credit check on his ass by now." Liz snatched the business card Lacey had propped beside her keyboard. "He even gave you his card? Why don't you just call him? Cyberstalking is for obsessed Justin Bieber fans anyway."
Lacey snatched the card back. "Small problem. I don't know his name."
"I thought you said you met him."
"Well, I sort of met him. My mom and I spent an hour and a half with him yesterday. He gave us an extended tour of one of his properties."
"Sounds really sexy, being chaperoned by your mom and all," Liz scoffed. "But I don't get it. Isn't his name on the card."
"I'm sure it is, but I have no idea what it might be. All I know is that the real estate agent called him, 'Jay'. But if you look at the card, all four Kingston Brothers are listed, and all four of their names start with the letter "J."
"So, you were hoping that you could find a picture of him on the website and match it to one of the names. I get it. Pretty smart. And then you'll call him."
"Nope. No way."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because I'm pretty sure I've embarrassed myself enough. I was thinking we had this amazing chemistry, but it turns out that he wasn't interested in me."
"Then why are you contemplating the cyberstalk?"
"I don't know exactly. I guess it just seems weird to not even know the name of the guy who just crushed me."
"Do you want me to do it?" Liz grabbed the chair from across the desk, set it down beside Lacey and began nudging her away from the computer screen. "Here. Scooch over." Lacey obediently scooched and found herself sitting kitty-corner from her usual position in front of the screen. She could see the back of the monitor, but not the actual screen. Oddly enough, this really did make her feel somewhat less creepy. It made Liz, however, seem positively desperate to check out the guy Lacey was interested in. Was it just her imagination, or was there a predatory gleam in Liz's eyes?
"What does he look like. I'll check the website for pictures. All you'll have to do is tell me, in detail, what he looks like. Go slow now, and don’t leave anything dirty out."
"Well, he's big. 6'3 or 6'4."
"Yum. But I thought we had a pact. Anyone over six feet is my territory. All the shrimps are yours."
"Just because you're an Amazon, does not mean you automatically have jurisdiction on tall guys. I happen to like 'em big too."
"I'm pretty sure you agreed to this stipulation on our friendship last time I beat you at pool. Fine. See if I care. But if I meet a cute guy who comes up to my belly-button, I'm not saving him for you. Come to think of it. A guy that height would have some very useful applications." Liz said with a lecherous grin.
Lacey just rolled her eyes.
"Alright. You've obviously lost your sense of humor. What else? I'm looking at a family photo now."
"Well, he has green eyes," Lacey said, dreamily. "And longish straight dark hair. Not 80s ponytail style, but longish on the top and short in the back."
"Oh my God. Does he have a mullet? You're into a guy with a mullet?"
"No, you idiot. A mullet is long in the back and short in the front."
"Are you sure? I may have to look that up."
"I'm sure. But look it up later. Focus on stalking now. Have you found him?"
"Ummm…I think I may have. But you're not going to like what I've found."
"What? Is it a bad picture? Does he have a mullet? It must be an old picture."
"No mullet. But he has something much worse."
"What? He's not wearing one of those terrible tuxedo T-shirts, is he?"
"Lace. He has a wife."
"What? He does not!"
“I’m afraid he does. Here. Take a look.” Liz turned the screen toward Lacey, and pointed to a picture of Lacey’s fantasy man, with his arm around an unsmiling blonde woman. “Is that him?” Liz asked.
Lacey leaned forward until her face was practically pressed against the screen and read the short bio beside the picture, which mentioned his education and also the fact that he was married to his college sweetheart. After a minute she pulled back and covered her face with her hands. “I don’t believe it. How could I be so stupid? I swear, I had no idea. He didn’t wear a ring, and he certainly did not act married.”
"I wouldn't feel too bad about it, Lace. He's probably just a big flirt. Probably helps to sell houses, you know. He throws out these signals to get women interested in the property, and then when the offer is made, he acts like it's all in their head. Classic salesman trick."
"Are you serious? People do that?"
"C'mon. You see those barbie-clone pharmaceutical reps come in here all the time. They flirt with the doctors, take them out for lunch, hang off them, just so the idiot docs will prescribe whatever sample they're peddling that week. This guy probably does something similar. I mean, wouldn't you rather buy a house from someone hot, who's into you, rather than a troll, who ignores you?"
"I suppose, but he really didn't seem the schmoozy type?"
"All part of the act, I'm sure. If he was too smooth, you'd probably run the other way, right?"
"Maybe." It made a weird kind of sense. She had been right all along. A stud-muffin like him really couldn't be interested in her. She was just a mark. Some poor lonely woman who could be charmed into giving over her life savings with just a flirtatious smile and some intense eye contact. All that chemistry was just in her head. Or he'd somehow fabricated it. Maybe he sprayed pheromones all over himself to get women all hot and bothered? Just to sell a house?
Oh my God, Lacey thought to herself. That's exactly what he did. She had practically rubbed against him like a cat in heat when she’d been trying to unlock that door yesterday. So humiliating. She had given serious thought to throwing herself at that man. Even after he'd hurt her feelings yesterday, she had still been toying with the idea of trying to get hold of him somehow. Obviously, whatever part of her brain was in control of character assessment must be on the fritz. Damn pheromones were clouding her judgment.
How could she be so wrong about a person? He had seemed so wonderful. And yet all evidence suggested he was either a phony or a player, or possibly both. Well, he really deserved some credit for his acting skills. But she wasn't having anything more to do with him. And this time she meant it. She was no one's fool.
Subject: Still looking for a scaled down version?
From: Serena Garrison ‹Serena@Dreamhomes4Sale.com›
To: Lacey.Ferguson@TheHealthUnit.com›
Hi Lacey,
Nice of your mom to provide your email address. She's a wily one, isn't she?
I was thinking about what you said last week. You were looking for a scaled down version of the row-houses, right? I think I may have something to show you. Interested?
Lacey read the short email twice before sitting back from her work computer and crossing her arms. She had expected to hear from Serena much sooner. It had been a week since the Open House and she'd thought perhaps her mother had provided the wrong email address. Usually, real estate agents were quick to act on new contacts, but Serena had taken her time. Did this mean that she might really have something suitable in mind for Lacey? Intriguing.
Lacey knew she should just stay away from He Who Shall Not Be Named in any capacity, but that didn't mean she couldn't have contact with Serena, did it? Obviously, they were colleagues, but real estate agents and builders probably had their own little community. Most likely, Serena knew all the builders in town. Lucky girl. That didn't mean that Lacey was obligated to do business with Him if she allowed Serena to show her some properties, did it?
But being around Serena would definitely remind her of Satan's Handyman. As much as she'd tried not to think about him, he kept popping up in her thoughts. It didn't help that her usual running route took her right past the row-houses where she'd humiliated herself. It was petty, but the last time she'd ran by, she'd let her dog, Charlie, do his business in the yard. It had seemed appropriate at the time. She'd changed her route since then, but the thoughts of him just kept coming.
Mostly, she thought about his eyes, how intensely green they were, without a hint of blue or hazel. Should a man be allowed to have such gorgeous eyes? They made him impossible to forget. And those arms. He'd rolled up his shirtsleeves at one point during the tour, and she remembered being practically mesmerized by the sight of those sinewy-looking forearms, so masculine, and sprinkled with just the right amount of dark hair. Not so much that he looked like a gorilla, but some. As a man should have. And his back. The wide V-shape of his shoulders, tapering down to his tight waist and neat buttocks. Just incredible. The guy was a looker, a regular dreamboat just as her mother had said. It would be odd if she wasn't thinking about him.
It wasn't just his body she kept dwelling on, though it did feature prominently in her recent fantasies. She also thought about the way he'd acted with her mother. So polite and patient, despite Diana grilling him about the row-house's features. He'd been genuine and gentle with her. If he was the kind of man Liz had suggested, would he have put so much effort into charming her mother? Was it possible that he somehow knew that the surest way to charm her was to win over her mother? If so, he was truly diabolical.
Bottom line. He's married, so she must stop thinking about him. But one thought kept circling around in her brain. Maybe they were estranged? Him and his wife hadn't looked very happy in that picture. Even if they were in the process of separating, it would be a recent break up and she didn't want to be the rebound girl. Rebound girls were always temporary. And she was not into being his transitional sex toy. Though, with a man like that, it would certainly be better than nothing. In fact, temporary could be downright hot. And she could really use some nasty, dirty, no-strings sex, for once.
But he was married, happily or not didn't matter. He was strictly off limits. And if Liz was right and he wooed women to get them to buy houses, then he was kind of smarmy too. Not exactly her dream guy.
The question is, what if looking at real estate with Serena brought her into contact with him? Could she deal with that? Nothing had actually happened with the sexy builder. She was just a tad obsessed with him. It's not like they had an actual relationship. Just a harmless flirtation that she had built up in her head to mean more. If she did run into him, then she would just be coolly professional. She could do that. She dealt with difficult people at work all the time with a smile on her face. One oily builder should be nothing to her. She was a mature woman. And it really did sound like Serena had something interesting to show her.
Lord knows, she did need to find a place soon. Her pudgy nudist neighbor had found himself a rather vocal girlfriend, and the sound of those two rutting like wildebeests had become unavoidable. She was glad they'd found each other, and they really seemed to be having fun, but listening to them enjoying each other while she was alone was unbearable. Yup, time to vacate. Hopefully whoever moved into her apartment would enjoy the grunts and groans coming through the walls more than she did. Or maybe she could tell the landlord to find a nice little old lady with a hearing aid that could be turned down when the wildebeest loving became too enthusiastic.
If Serena had a solution to her real estate dilemma then it was in Lacey's best interest to see what she had in mind. What could it hurt exactly? She wouldn't have to be in contact with any of the Kingston Brothers. And she would not bring them up. This was purely business.
RE:Still looking for a scaled down version?
From: Lacey.Ferguson@TheHealthUnit.com
To: Serena Garrison ‹Serena@Dreamhomes4Sale.com›
Hi Serena,
Yes, my mom definitely missed her calling as an international woman of mystery. I didn't even see her sign the guestbook. But I'm glad she gave you my email address if you really do have a scaled down version of that fabulous row-house in mind. Just understand that my budget is limited. I don't want to take up a lot of your time if whatever you want to show me is in the same price range. My budget is about 20% less than that.
So, if that works for the property you want to show me, then lets go for it. I'm halfway through a six day rotation at the Health Unit, so I have this Thursday and Friday off. Do either of those work for you? Let me know. I'm looking forward to seeing what you have up your sleeve.
RE: Re: Still looking for a scaled down version?
From: Serena Garrison ‹Serena@Dreamhomes4Sale.com›
To: Lacey.Ferguson@TheHealthUnit.com›
Well, it's more of an idea at this point rather than an actual property yet, but I do have something to show you. I don't think you'll be disappointed. Let's get together on Thursday at The Daily Grind on 3rd Ave around 1pm, and we'll go from there. You game?
RE: Re: Re: Still looking for a scaled down version?
From: Lacey.Ferguson@TheHealthUnit.com
To: Serena Garrison ‹Serena@Dreamhomes4Sale.com›
Hmmm…you definitely have my attention. Consider me game. See you at 1pm on Thursday. And thanks for thinking of me, Serena.
Curiouser and curiouser, Lacey thought to herself as she closed down her work computer for the night. Turning off her office light, she wondered what Serena was up to. The real estate diva had something to show her that wasn't actually a property for sale? Very mysterious. Lacey hoped it wasn't a blueprint or a floor plan for a future development. She was visual and needed to see something concrete before she would commit to anything. Hopefully, this little exercise would not be a huge waste of their time. But she was excited to see what Serena had in mind for her. If she was really lucky, her housing problem would be resolved in just three short days. If only her romantic problems could be solved so easily.
Subject: Stopping by on Thursday
From: Serena Garrison ‹Serena@Dreamhomes4Sale.com›
To: JackJunior@KingstonBros.com
Since you're completely uncivilized and never answer emails, I won't expect a response. Just letting you know that your mom wanted me to check on your progress at The Fortress of Solitude this week, so I'll be stopping by sometime on Thursday afternoon. The forecast is for rain, so don't try and use the Elm Street project as an excuse. Roofing in the rain is a trip to the emergency room waiting to happen. So be at the FoS or I will snoop.
By the way, give your mom a call, okay? She's worried about you. And it'll save me making any future trips out to the middle of ass-crack nowhere to check on you.
See you Thursday. And don't wear the Oscar the Grouch T-shirt, okay? It's tacky for a grown-ass man to wear a cartoon character on their chest.
There, the stage is set, Serena thought, rubbing her palms together as she sent her final email off to Jack. She would spend a few hours with Lacey on Thursday, and if the pretty nurse was a good match for Jack, then she would bring her out to his cottage and reveal her brilliant plan to both of them. If not, then she would take Lacey to see a totally inappropriate townhouse on the wrong side of town, and that would be the end of her match-making. But if this worked out, then not only would her cousin Live Happily Ever After with Lacey, Serena would also have a potentially lucrative new business venture to distract her from her own single status. It seemed like a win-win situation to her. If Jack and Lacey would just cooperate.