LORI DID HER BEST to slow her breathing. It was kind of embarrassing to still be panting ten minutes after the fact. But considering all her body had been through in the past half hour, maybe it was to be expected.
She still felt boneless and incapable of actual movement. Every part of her groaned with satisfaction.
Reid shifted so that she lay next to him. He wrapped an arm around her and ran his hand down her side.
"Amazing," she breathed. "Seriously, that cult thing? I'm totally there."
Instead of answering, he kissed her. There was tenderness in the gesture and without warning, she felt tears in her eyes.
Tears? After sex?
That got her attention. She sat up and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was nearly five- a full hour after her shift ended.
"I should be going," she said, mostly because of the unexpected emotion, but also because she rarely arrived home much later than this. "Madeline will wonder what happened to me."
"Let her get her own guy," Reid said, pulling her back into his arms. "Call and let her know you're not going to be home for dinner, then stay with me."
Several thoughts filled her brain at once. In no particular order they were the fact that Reid seemed to want her to stay. Didn't guys want to do the deed, then cut and run? She would have bet a lot of money on the fact that he was one of them. A guy who was only in it for the sex shouldn't want company after. So was he just an anomaly or was this a different situation?
She knew which she wanted it to be but it wasn't like she was going to be asking the question.
Second was the "let her get her own guy" comment. As in he was her, Lori's, guy? On what planet?
Finally the fact that she wanted to stay but was afraid. Afraid of caring, afraid of feeling, afraid of him crushing her like a delicate girl bug overwhelmed by feelings.
A strong, self-actualized woman would face her fears. A smart woman interested in survival would disappear into the night.
He handed her his cell phone and then he smiled.
The smile got her. They were naked, in his bed and she'd just had the most incredible sexual experience of this or any other life. Why would she want to walk away from that?
"Hi, it's me," Lori said when her sister picked up.
"How interesting," Madeline said, a smile in her voice. "According to the caller ID, I should be talking to Reid Buchanan."
"I'm, ah, using his cell phone."
"Are you going to tell me why?"
Lori knew she would confess everything later, but right now she didn't want to get into the details. "I wanted to let you know that I'll be a little late tonight."
Reid pushed her onto her back and began licking her breasts. Despite the liquid fire pouring through her, Lori did her best to keep her breathing totally normal.
Madeline laughed. "Who would have thought my totally straightlaced sister would fall for a bad boy baseball player? Have a good time."
Reid grabbed the phone, said, "Don't wait up," into it, then disconnected the call and slipped his hands between her legs. "Where were we?"
Thirty minutes and two orgasms later, Lori resurfaced. She lay on her side, facing Reid and lightly traced his features.
"You're very good-looking," she said.
He frowned. "Don't say that."
"Because it's a bad thing?"
"Because it's one of the things you don't like about me."
"That's not true. I like that you're pretty."
He winced. "No guy wants to be called pretty. I'm not pretty."
"You're close."
He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. "You think I'm shallow and that I've skated by on my talent and good looks."
"A little. Do you want to tell me that you've done any differently?"
"I want to, but I'd be lying." He ran his fingers through her hair. "Now this is pretty."
"Gloria wants me to cut it."
"What do you want?"
"I don't know. I've always hated my hair. When I was younger, it was a hideous color of red. I was teased all through school. It's gotten better in the past few years, but with the waves and everything, I don't know what to do with it. So I ignore it."
"Ignoring something doesn't make it go away," he told her.
"If you're going to get all deep and sensitive, a lot of women are going to be disappointed."
"What about you?"
This was the second time he implied that she mattered in some way. Lori hated how much she wanted that to be true.
"I'm open to change."
"Except when it comes to your hair."
He had her there. "Maybe I should get it cut."
"You should do what makes you happy."
Being with him made her happy, she thought as she pressed her hand against his bare chest. She liked the feel of warm skin and the way the hair there tickled. She still couldn't believe that she was here, naked, able to touch him however she wanted.
He stroked her cheek, then rubbed his thumb over her lower lip. "Why nursing?"
"I wanted to help people and I wanted to be needed." She drew back slightly, startled by her own honesty.
"Good reasons," he said.
"Partially altruistic, partially selfish," she admitted. "I also wanted a career that I could count on. I knew that I would have to take care of myself financially and nursing has made that happen."
He smiled. "No plans to marry a rich guy?"
"No plans to marry anyone."
"Why not?"
She had a fairly clear understanding of why not. The bottom line was she didn't trust any man enough to believe he could love her.
"I'm not the marrying kind. I'm okay with that."
"You don't believe that humans have a biological need to pair bond?" he asked.
She blinked at him. "What did you say?"
His smile turned smug. "I went to college."
"Where you majored in cheerleaders and being charming."
"I got a degree in cultural anthropology."
The surprises kept on coming. "Why?"
"I thought it sounded cool and would get me women."
She laughed. "At least you're honest."
"I try to be."
"Okay. Back to your original and slightly startling question. Yes, I suppose most people need to pair bond. But the need is stronger in some than in others. It's not a big deal for me. I just want to be able to take care of myself. Buying my house put me on that road."
"Your whole face changes when you talk about your house."
"Does it? I guess because I really love the place. I love that I can decorate it however I want. I love the size and the location. I love that I have an emergency fund in case I need a new water heater or there's a plumbing problem. I love that every month I add a little extra onto the mortgage payment so I can pay the place off in fifteen years instead of thirty. I feel safe there."
His dark gaze never left her face. "Feeling safe is important to you."
He wasn't asking a question, which was fine. He was plenty smart enough to figure out her issues.
"I grew up in a double-wide in Tacoma. It was no one's idea of a great life," she said.
"Madeline mentioned your mom was difficult."
"Oh, really?" She flopped onto her back. "What else did my sister tell you?"
"That you were the one your mother took things out on."
That was true, Lori thought sadly. "My mother used to drink. A lot. She was a pretty mean drunk."
"And now?" he asked.
"She's been sober seven years."
"So that's good, right?"
"I guess. She's trying to put the pieces back together."
Reid leaned over and lightly kissed her. "Are you going to let her be successful?"
She looked up at him. "Don't get too insightful. It will change my opinion of you."
"I can handle it. Are you going to answer the question?"
"I don't know," she admitted slowly. "Sometimes I really want her to make this work. I want her to be successful."
"But?"
"But I'm still mad as hell at her." She wrinkled her nose. "I know that's awful. She's my mother. She's putting her life back together and I'm still pissed because of how she treated me when I was twelve. I should get over it and move on."
"That's your head talking. Not your heart."
She narrowed her gaze. "Excuse me, but a degree in cultural anthropology doesn't mean you get to play pretend psychologist with me."
He grinned. "What if we play it naked?"
"We are naked and the answer is no."
He kissed her again. "You're not easy."
"Thank you. It's been my life's ambition to not be easy."
"So really. Why aren't you married?"
He had a streak of tenacity she hadn't expected. There was no way she was going to admit the real reason, so she settled for truthful but slightly off the mark.
"No one ever asked," she told him, not bothering to mention she didn't let anyone get close enough to think about asking.
Nothing about Reid's expression changed. "Any near misses?"
"Not one."
"So did you not meet the right guy or were you scared?"
Okay, now they were getting a little too personal. "Hey, what about you?" she asked. "All these questions apply."
"I don't date many guys. Sure, I tried for a while but it was just a fad."
She laughed. "You know what I mean."
"I fell in love once, remember? I was willing to do the marriage thing."
With a woman who didn't want him, Lori thought sadly. Life was nothing if not perverse.
DANI WALKED INTO the Daily Grind and glanced around for Gary. Sometime in the past couple of weeks they'd established a standing coffee date. She waved when she saw him already seated at a table in the corner. What did it say about her life that the best guy she'd met in years turned out to be gay?
"How's the job search going?" he asked as she took the seat opposite his.
"Okay. I've had a couple more interviews, but nothing I've really clicked with. The problem is I love working with Penny at The Waterfront. Sure it's hard work, but we're all part of a team." She grimaced. "Could I sound more like a cliché?"
"Probably not, but is that bad? Would you rather work in a place where you're not part of a team?"
"No and no. That's why I turned down the last job offer. I know you said to be patient and you're right. It's just…" She took a breath. "I hate to admit this, but with Walker running the company, I kind of don't want to move on. Dealing with him makes me feel connected to my family."
"They'll still be your family, no matter where you work," Gary told her. "Are you still thinking about looking outside of Seattle?"
"I should, but I haven't yet. I don't want to move away."
"Then you don't have to. There's no law."
He smiled at her- a sweet, gentle smile that made her happy they'd become friends. He was a good man and knowing there could never be anything sexual between them helped a lot. She didn't need to make another mistake in the man department.
"I can't blame you for wanting to stay here," he told her. "I would never leave Seattle. All my family is here, as well. I love them all, even my sister who has spent the past six months setting me up with every single woman she knows. It's getting so I'm afraid to take her calls. The last woman was very nice, but she had this grating voice…"
He kept on talking, but Dani wasn't listening. She was too stunned to do anything but stare at him.
If his sister was setting him up with women then that meant…"You're not gay?" she blurted without thinking.
Gary paused in the act of raising up his container of coffee. Confusion drew his eyebrows together. "You thought I was gay?"
Oh, God.
She wanted to bolt from the room and disappear into the crowd outside. How could she have been wrong about that? What would he think of her? Worse, he was such a sweet guy and she really liked him and now she'd practically shouted that there was something about him that made her think he wasn't into women. No straight guy was going to take that as a compliment.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, forcing herself to look at him. "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean…"
So what hadn't she meant? There weren't a lot of interpretations to "You're not gay?" It wasn't as if she could pass off the line as him not understanding what she meant.
She opened her mouth, then closed it again.
Gary sipped his coffee. "Gay," he said slowly. "Interesting."
She drew in a breath. Interesting wasn't bad. "You don't hate me?"
"No. Why would I?"
"Some men wouldn't consider the comment flattering."
"I can see that. It makes me want to dress better."
She risked a smile. "You dress fine."
"A little too conservative," he said with a shrug. He glanced down at the ivory shirt and dark slacks he wore. "My sister keeps getting after me to try a little color. Maybe a pink shirt," he teased. "Of course that would make me look more gay."
She felt herself blush. "You're taking this really well."
"It's kind of exciting. I've never thought of myself as having a secret life before." He leaned toward her, his pale gray eyes bright with excitement. "So what made you think I was gay?"
"I'm not sure. You're nice and quiet and you've never tried to pick me up. Not that every man does. I'm not all that."
"You kind of are," he said.
Dani didn't know how to take that. Was Gary flirting with her? And if he was, how did she feel about it?
"You're not married," she said.
"You're not, either."
"I used to be. My divorce is barely final."
"Hard time?" he asked sympathetically.
"No worse than anyone else's, I'm sure," she said. "Hugh wasn't a bad guy." She paused. "Wait a minute. You know what? He was. He was totally awful."
She explained how she and Hugh had met in college and how in his senior year, he'd been injured playing football.
"I stood by him all through his surgery, his therapy," she said. "I'm not asking for a reward, but I stayed. I loved him and even though I knew he'd be paralyzed from the waist down forever and that we could never have a normal physical relationship again, I wanted to marry him."
"What happened?"
"We got married. I bullied him into finishing his degree and then continuing his education. Eventually he got a job as a professor. I worked at Burger Heaven. I thought we were happy."
They hadn't been, of course, but she'd thought their problems were just like everyone else's. A little boredom, a few too many weekends spent on separate activities.
"It wasn't perfect," she continued. "But I thought…" She shook her head. "I was wrong."
"He asked for a divorce?"
"Not just that. He told me I hadn't grown enough as a person. That I hadn't kept up with him. It was totally humiliating."
She remembered wanting to scream at the unfairness of the accusation. She'd wanted to point out that all her free time had gone into looking after him and supporting the two of them. If she hadn't grown it had been because she'd been busting her ass for him.
"Worse," she continued, "It turned out to be total crap. He'd been having an affair with one of his students. Or maybe more. I'm not sure. I caught him cheating."
"I'm sorry," Gary said and reached out to take her hand in his.
She let him and then studied their joined fingers. His touch felt nice. Safe. There wasn't even one tingle, but after all she'd been through, she'd decided that sexual attraction was highly overrated.
"So you'll get over him," he told her. "You'll recover."
"I'm over Hugh," she said wryly. "If only my sad story ended there."
"It doesn't?"
"Oh, please. Why make a fool of myself once when I can easily do it again?"
He winced. "What happened?"
"Rebound guy. Ryan. He was perfect. Charming, handsome, caring and everything I needed to help me get over Hugh. He knew exactly what to say, how to say it."
"So what was the problem?" Gary asked.
"He was married. Yup, a lying, cheating weasel dog. I thought about having him shot. One of my brothers used to be a Marine. But in the end I let him live."
"Probably for the best. You wouldn't like prison."
"At least I wouldn't have to deal with my very tragic love life."
"It is a unique story," he said.
She smiled. "I agree. I doubt you can top it."
"I can't. So now what?"
"Now I find a new job and look for my father. Which is mostly your fault. You keep talking about the importance of family and now I have to go for it. I just don't know how to start."
"Have you tried a private detective?"
She shook her head. "I never thought of it before. Maybe one could help. I don't have very much to go on." In truth she had nothing, but miracles happened.
"I can give you a couple of names. Both really good at what they do."
She pulled her hand free. "Excuse me? How does a guy who teaches theology and math know about private detectives?"
"I'm a man of many talents."
"Apparently. Okay, sure. Names would be great."
He pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket and then passed over a napkin. "Why don't you give me your number and I'll call you with the information."
Fifteen minutes ago she wouldn't have hesitated to give him the information. Gay Gary was safe. But if he wasn't, and why would he lie about that, things were different. What if he called her for other reasons? Like to ask her out?
Dani wasn't sure how she felt about that. Getting involved should be illegal in her case. Yet this was Gary. She liked him and nothing about him even hinted that he could ever be a threat. Of course the neighbors of serial killers always went on about how nice they were.
Still she wrote down her cell number and passed it back to him. Sometimes you just had to take a chance on people.
LORI ARRIVED FOR WORK a few minutes early. She locked her car, then stared up at the imposing house. For the first time since being hired to help Gloria, she didn't want to go inside.
She could come up with a thousand reasons why, but they all covered up a single truth. She was scared. Truly, down to her bones, terrified.
Yesterday and last night had been incredible. Being with Reid had made her feel in the best way possible. They'd made love one more time before she'd finally gone home. It had been well after midnight and Madeline had waited up.
The teasing had been worth it, Lori thought as she walked toward the front door and let herself in with her key. She'd endured the teasing happily because she was still glowing from all that Reid had done to her body.
And it wasn't even all about the sex. It had been great- but not really the best part. The best part had been being with him. Spending time with the man and finding out she liked him even more than she'd thought possible.
Which made the morning after even more awkward. What had their time together meant to him? What was he thinking? Was he sorry? Did he want to pretend it had never happened? What were his expectations? She supposed she should be asking the same of herself and assuming she got a say in how things went, but that was a level of maturity she wasn't going to reach in this lifetime. She would have to settle for being terrified he had regrets.
Because she didn't. She wanted more of last night. She wanted to talk and laugh and touch. She wanted to be with him in every way possible.
She was realistic enough to accept that a good part of his interest in her was due to the fact that he was basically trapped in the house. There weren't the regular hordes of admirers all around. When that changed, so would his opinion of her. But until then…
She knew that as a strong, self-sufficient woman she should demand answers. Instead she decided that not acting scared out of her mind would be enough of a win for today.
She hung up her coat in the hall closet and set her purse on the shelf, then walked into the kitchen.
Reid was already there. He stood with his back to her, which meant she could look all she wanted, so she did.
Her gaze dropped to his butt, which deserved its own billboard campaign. A hot, needy quivering began low in her belly. She must have made a sound because he turned.
For a second he just looked at her. She couldn't seem to bring herself to move. Fear tightened her chest until her heart hurt. Then he smiled.
It was a slow, sweet, sexy smile. The kind designed to reduce a sensible woman to a puddle. It about did her in. Then he walked over, put his arm around her waist, pulled her to him and kissed her so thoroughly she practically floated.
"Morning," he murmured.
"Hi." Was that low, sexy voice hers?
"Did you sleep well?"
"Not really." She'd been too busy thinking about what they'd done to want to sleep.
"Me, either. You get inside my head. I can't decide if that's good or bad."
She couldn't, either.
He stared into her eyes. "I went out and got you scones. I know you like them. I didn't know what kind, so I got one of each."
Scones? He'd noticed she had a thing for scones?
"You didn't have to do that," she murmured.
"I know I didn't have to. I wanted to."
And just like that, the walls that had protected her so well, for so long, tumbled into dust.
REID MET PENNY in her office at The Waterfront. He and Penny had been friends through her first marriage to his brother, during the divorce and the years she and Cal had been apart. They were still friends now that she and Cal had remarried.
"You didn't bring Allison into work today?" he asked as he took a seat. "I like holding her."
"Because like every other female on the planet, she adores you." Penny tossed down her pen. "I don't get it. She's only a few months old and the second you hold her, she gets spacey. It must be chemical."
He grinned. "I've got it. Not my fault, but there it is."
"Oh, please. Did you want to talk about yourself or did you want to visit with me?"
He loved riling Penny. "I get a choice?"
"I'm ignoring you," she said. "Did you know Walker and Elissa are ready to start looking for a wedding venue? I was hoping they'd have it here, but Walker wants a non-Buchanan location. Which makes no sense to me. If it's not here, I won't be cooking."
"Maybe he doesn't want you to cater his wedding."
The wrong thing to say, he realized as Penny glared at him.
"Why not? Are you saying my food isn't fabulous enough? Is there even one chef in the entire state who is better than me?"
Reid held up both hands. "Truce," he said. "Deep breath. This isn't about your cooking. Did it occur to you that your brother-in-law might want to have the wedding somewhere else so that you could come and enjoy yourself as a member of the family rather than have to sweat cooking for a couple of hundred people?"
"No," she admitted. "But my food would be way better."
"It would. Think of how much Walker loves you. He's willing to make the sacrifice and give up your talent."
"You're playing me," she grumbled.
"Maybe, but I'm doing a hell of a job at it."
"You don't stink," she said and leaned back in her chair. "Okay. Maybe I'll allow them to go somewhere else. But I'm going to insist on catering the rehearsal dinner. What do you think about something with crab? And maybe- "
He groaned and dropped his chin to his chest.
"What?" she demanded.
"Not menus. Please. Anything but that. We can even talk about shopping. Just not menus or food choices or anything food-related."
"All right. Another topic. My choice." She studied him. "Are you dating Lori yet?"
Trust Penny to find a new way to torture him. She was good and he could respect that.
"We're not dating," he said calmly. They'd had a hell of a good time in bed the other night, but that wasn't dating.
"Why don't you ask her out? You like her. And don't bother denying it. I can tell when I see you together."
"I'm not going to deny it. I do like Lori. She's great."
She was a whole lot more than that. Pretty and sexy and smart. She didn't let him get away with crap, which he respected.
Penny's eyebrows rose. "Oh, my. So it's possible I phrased the question incorrectly. Let me try again. Are you and Lori involved?"
He couldn't seem to stop the grin he felt pulling at the corners of his mouth. He had a feeling Penny could see just about everything she wanted from the look on his face.
"We're involved," he admitted.
She shook her head. "I don't know what to say. You like a woman you're involved with. It's not convenience or something to do to fill the time. This means something to you. Have you figured out that makes you practically normal?"
"I'll never be normal, but don't sweat it. Lori can handle me. No problem."