THE WORLD WAS TOTALLY BLACK. There wasn’t a hint of light. Not a flicker or a shadow. The world was black and still and filled with terror.
Izzy told herself to breathe slowly. To focus. It had only been a day since her surgery. A single day. She had to survive a week. Which was seven days. And how many hours? She tried to do the math, then bumped into a table in the hallway and wanted to scream. Who was stupid enough to put tables in hallways? Didn’t everyone know she couldn’t see?
Except that table had been there since she first arrived at Nick’s ranch and she’d learned all the rooms so she could walk through them easily. She knew about the table, just like she knew about the stairs and the doors and the walls.
Only it was different now. There was only darkness. She hadn’t realized how much she’d depended on her faulty vision to help her figure out where she was and where she was going. She was going to have to relearn everything.
“I have a week,” she said aloud, only to hear someone’s footsteps.
“I’m pretty sure talking to yourself isn’t good,” Aaron said, as cheerful as ever. “And don’t take this wrong, but a bandage wrapped around your head, covering your eyes? Not your best look.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Honesty keeps us friends. I, for one, am wildly excited about you getting the surgery. Next week, when you can see, I want to have a serious conversation about my hair. I was thinking highlights. Steve gets them and I’m really tempted, but I wanted a second opinion.”
Aaron casually took her arm. “It’s nearly lunchtime. Do you remember the way?”
“Maybe,” she said, grateful for the help. “I thought I’d already figured out the house. I guess I was wrong.”
“You’ve only been back a couple of hours. Give it time.”
“Thanks.”
After her surgery, she’d spent the night at the hospital. Nick had checked on her frequently, then had brought her home this morning.
“Norma has made a special lunch of your favorites. BLT sandwiches with pudding.” She felt him shudder. “Banana pudding.”
She laughed. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Everything. Can’t you at least want a delicate sorbet or a nice chocolate-dipped strawberry?”
“I could go for the strawberry.”
“Be sure to tell her.”
“I will. Besides, I’m sure there’s more for lunch than just sandwiches.”
“Probably, but I would like to point out that she’s never gone to this much trouble for me and I rave about her biscuits. I feel so unappreciated. Now there’s a step, then another step.”
She reached out to feel the doorway to the dining room, then couldn’t remember how far to the table. The darkness was complete. What if this was how she had to live forever? What if there wasn’t anything beyond touch and sound?
The panic swirled again, but she forced herself to keep breathing. Regular breathing and a prescription for Xanax if the anxiety got too bad, although Izzy was determined to tough it out. Dr. Greenspoon was the best. She trusted him. He’d done a good job and had been pleased with the outcome of the surgery.
“What are you thinking?” Aaron asked.
“That I’m strong and I’ll work through this.”
“It’s a week, Izzy. I’m supposed to be the drama queen in the relationship.”
“I meant if the surgery went bad.”
He patted her arm. “It didn’t. Nick told me. The doctor thinks you’ll have your sight restored.”
“But he’s not sure. He can’t be sure until the bandages come off.”
“No, he can’t. And aren’t you a little ray of sunshine? Here’s the chair. Can you feel it?”
She reached out and felt the familiar curve of the back of the chair, then managed to sit down. Norma bustled in seconds later.
“I made the BLTs,” she said briskly. “And a few different salads. Oh, and the banana pudding.”
Aaron groaned.
Izzy grinned. “Thanks, Norma. You really didn’t have to.”
“I know,” the other woman said. “Now where’s Nick? He knows how I feel about serving meals on time.”
“I’m right here.”
Izzy turned toward the sound of his voice. Normally she could see the shape of him but now there was nothing.
“How are you holding up?” he asked, lightly touching her shoulder.
“Fine.”
“I caught her talking to herself,” Aaron said. “That’s never good.”
“At least I know the conversation is going to be interesting,” she said.
“I’m ignoring that,” Aaron said.
She heard the sound of a chair being pulled out, then liquid being poured into glasses.
“What can I get you?” Aaron asked. “Because I live to serve.”
“Maybe half a sandwich to start.” She could hold it in her hand and keep track of it. That sounded better than chasing something around her plate.
“Don’t think you’re getting out of eating that damned pudding,” he murmured in her ear. “Iced tea is on your right.”
She reached in that direction but encountered warm fingers rather than cool glass.
“Here,” Nick said, guiding her. He helped her find her drink.
The meal seemed to go on for hours. Izzy managed to eat part of her sandwich, but kept having trouble with her tea. Aaron and Nick talked, which should have been a nice distraction. Instead she kept thinking that they were watching her, not sure if they should help or not. She felt awkward and confused and afraid of spilling or dropping or missing her mouth and jamming her sandwich into her cheek.
“Maybe I could get a tray in my room from now on,” she said abruptly.
“If she gets room service, I want it, too,” Aaron said in a whine.
Despite the tension filling her, she smiled. “You act like you’re two.”
“So? What are you?”
She managed a laugh. “Point taken.”
“It’s okay, Izzy,” Nick told her. “It’s your first day. You’ll get used to it.”
“I don’t want to get used to it,” she snapped, her good humor fading. She stood, then realized she had no idea which direction to turn. Dread swept through her, making her sorry she’d eaten anything. She was trapped.
No, she told herself, breathing steadily. Not trapped. She was fine. She would be fine. She was tough. Compared to what Heidi had gone through, this was nothing.
Someone else rose and took her arm. She knew immediately it was Nick.
“You’re killing my great exit here,” she told him.
“You ready to stalk out on your own?”
“Not really.”
He led her out of the dining room, toward the stairs. They climbed slowly and when they reached her room, she was shaking.
“I’m trying,” she said as she sat on the bed and waited for the trembling to pass. “I’m just so damn scared.”
“I know.”
She heard the sound of movement, then felt him take both her hands in his. From the angle and the way he rested his forearms on her legs, she guessed he was kneeling.
“Usually guys who get in that position are proposing,” she teased. “Gee, Nick. This is so sudden.”
“Not bad. You’re getting it.”
“I’m not,” she admitted. “Every other second, I’m terrified. I can’t live like this. I can’t.”
“Yeah, you can. You’re strong, Izzy. Stronger than you know. It’s just the first day. Try to relax. I want you to lie down. I’m going to teach you some breathing techniques. When you’re feeling better, you can call your sisters.”
She didn’t think breathing was going to be a whole lot of help. “Or we could just have sex.”
Nick stilled. “As tempting as that is, I think you need to heal a little more.”
“Are you trying to say the right thing or get out of doing it with me?”
Instead of answering in words, he leaned in and kissed her. His mouth was hot and hungry, claiming hers. She met him stroke for stroke, enjoying the wave of need and desire that crashed through her. Horny was a whole lot better than afraid.
He cupped her cheek with his hand, then sucked on her lower lip. Only when she was breathing hard did he pull back.
“What was the question?” he asked.
“I have no idea.”
“Good. Now lie back on the bed and…Sorry. I was going to say close your eyes.”
“Already doing that,” she said, touching the bandage. “Next?”
“HOLLISTER,” Nick said into the phone, still studying the computer screen.
“You have a lot of explaining to do. What were you thinking? You didn’t call us? Do you remember meeting our friend Dana? I swear to God, I want to have you arrested and your ass thrown in jail.”
The voice was familiar, although he couldn’t place it. “Just my ass? Not the rest of me.”
“I see you’ve been hanging out with Izzy too much these days.”
The information clicked into place. “Hello, Skye.”
“She had the surgery.”
“I know.”
“She didn’t tell us she was going to do it and you knew. And don’t even think about saying it was her decision to make because even if I can’t come close to beating you up, I’m engaged to a former Navy SEAL. He could kill you with a Q-tip.”
Nick leaned back in his chair and smiled. While Izzy was his favorite, he liked all the Titan sisters. “Seems like a stupid plan to me. Why not use a gun?”
“Don’t think you can charm me, because you can’t. What were you thinking?”
“That it was Izzy’s decision to make. She didn’t want you to worry. She had the surgery and told you after. It happened and now you know.”
“Oh, I see. You’re going for rational. Tell me, Nick. Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman before? Did the rational approach ever work?”
“No.”
“Then try something else.”
“You’ve obviously spoken with her. You know she’s fine, but you’re always welcome to come to the ranch. You can see her for yourself.” He shifted the phone to his other hand. “Besides, if I remember correctly, getting Izzy to the point where she wanted the surgery was the entire reason for having her here.”
There was a long pause. “Okay. Yes. Maybe. Speaking of which, you need to bill me for the rest of her time there.”
“We’re good.”
“But all I gave you is a small deposit. You were going to bill me weekly.”
“I changed my mind.” He wasn’t taking money for having Izzy around. “She worked hard. She contributed.” She dazzled, he thought, then frowned. He had no idea where that idea had come from.
“But we owe you-”
“Nothing,” he said firmly. “Come by on Saturday. We’ll have a barbecue. Bring everybody. You’ll see your sister, you’ll feel better.”
“That sounds nice,” Skye said slowly. “Okay. We’ll be there.”
“I’ll tell Izzy.”
“Thanks for everything. See you soon.”
“Bye.”
He hung up and shook his head. Women were a constant complication. Speaking of which…
He glanced up at the ceiling and then checked his watch. It was after nine. Izzy had said she was tired and wanted to go to bed early. The doctor had told her to take it easy for a few days. No strenuous physical activity. No riding. And while he hadn’t specifically asked, Nick had already figured out that meant no sex.
Not his first choice, he thought, remembering what it had been like to spend the night with Izzy. She was responsive, interested and adventurous. A perfect storm. One he wouldn’t be experiencing anytime soon.
Which was for the better, he told himself. He wasn’t going to get involved with her. Neither of them needed the complication. Still, she’d been quiet at dinner. He saved his work, then headed upstairs.
Izzy sat in a chair in the corner, her legs pulled up to her chest, her head resting on her knees. For one gutclenching second, he thought she was crying. Then she straightened and looked at him. There was tension in her face, but no tears that he could see. The bandage made it tough to be sure.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi.”
Her mouth moved in what he guessed was an attempt to smile.
“You have all the lights on.”
She shrugged. “I feel better knowing they’re on. It’s not like I can see them. Or anything.”
He crossed to her and took her hand. “Come on. You need to rest.”
“I can’t. Every time I lie down I freak. It’s like I can’t breathe or something. I’m better here in the chair.”
“You need to rest so you can heal. Look, I’m bigger and stronger, so you can come quietly or I can force you. The forcing won’t be pretty. It’ll mess up your hair.”
Slowly she lowered her feet to the floor. “Do you see me laughing? I’m not. You know why? It’s not funny.”
“I know.”
She rose.
He drew her close and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m here. You’re safe. You can breathe.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I’m a guy. I know everything.”
When she didn’t respond to that, he knew she was more scared than he’d realized. He led her to the bed, then stretched out next to her.
“I’m going to stay right here,” he told her. “All night. I’ll keep you safe, Izzy. I promise.”
“I can’t cry. I keep reminding myself that. I’m not supposed to cry. Something about the tear ducts. But I want to. And I want to run so hard and so fast that there’s light. But it’s not possible, either.”
She was right next to him. He could feel her shaking and didn’t know what to do to make it better. Frustration made him want to hit something, but that wouldn’t help Izzy. Instead he kept his arm around her, moving his hand up and down her back.
“Remember the breathing we practiced earlier today?”
“It was stupid.”
“Maybe, but we’re going to try it again.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No. I can’t breathe.” She inhaled sharply. “Something’s wrong. I can’t breathe.”
“You’re breathing just fine. If you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t talk. Now roll on your back.”
She didn’t move.
“I’m going to stay here all night. You’re not getting rid of me. But you need to relax and you need to sleep. Come on, Izzy. I’ve traveled the world and trained with professionals. I don’t get to practice this much. Give me a break.”
He waited, not sure which way it would go. Was she just on the edge of losing it or already falling?
She rolled onto her back and sighed. “Because it’s all about you?”
The relief was instant. She was coming back. “Sure.”
“You’re just like Aaron.”
“Hey. What does that mean?”
She managed a slight smile. “Nothing bad. I adore Aaron.”
“Good. Now we’re going to start breathing.”
“Where’s the we? I’m doing all the work.”
He bent down and kissed her.
“What was that for?” she asked.
“I wanted to.”
“Just so typical,” she muttered.
But her smile was bigger and the shaking had stopped. Once again she’d proven that she could be knocked around, but she couldn’t be broken. He could respect that. Maybe more than respect, but he wasn’t going there. Not now, not ever.
THE NEXT MORNING, Izzy made her way to the barn. It was difficult, walking out into darkness with nothing but her memory and other senses to guide her. She worried about tripping over something or falling in a big hole-not that there were any on the ranch. The use of a cane suddenly made sense.
But as she got close, she could smell the hay and the horses. The quality of the dirt changed. She could feel it in her steps and knew it had been trampled by countless hoofs. She put her arm up to find the building and bumped her fingers against the wall three steps later.
“How do you do it?” she asked Rita as soon as she got to the barn. “How do you figure out where stuff is and where you are?”
“Practice. My other senses come into play.”
“I’m scared nearly all the time,” Izzy admitted, sitting on the bench by the door. “I had my first panic attack last night.”
“How was it?”
“Not something I want to repeat.”
Rita joined her on the bench. “It’s a week, kid. You’ll be fine. Think of this as a character-building exercise.”
“I liked my character fine before.”
“But it will be better now.”
“Oh, joy.”
She knew there was more at stake here than just her character. There was the possibility the surgery wouldn’t work. That she would be lost in the darkness forever. Not a thought to perk up her mood, she reminded herself.
“I can’t ride,” she told the other woman. “But I can still do the grooming and help out in other ways.”
“Then that’s what I’ll use you for.”
“I like working with the horses. Flower sure made a difference with Heidi.”
“They usually do. Riding is an act of mutual trust. Kids who have been betrayed by someone who is supposed to love them aren’t big on trust. We start with a horse. It builds confidence.”
“Did you study this?”
Rita laughed. “I have a lot of common sense. Sometimes that’s better than any fancy education, if you ask me.”
Izzy was less sure about her common-sense profile. “I’ve done a lot of dumb things in my life.”
“Who hasn’t?”
“I went swimming with sharks.”
“Then you are an idiot.”
Izzy laughed. “So college would help me?”
“It’s a must.”
“I never went. I hated school and couldn’t wait to be out. I bummed around Europe for a few months, then came back here and joined a ski patrol in Colorado. From there it was an easy downhill slide…no pun intended.”
“I’ve never been skiing. I know they have programs for the blind, but I really hate the cold. So what do you want to study?”
Izzy hesitated. Not because she didn’t know but because the idea was so new, so tender, it could easily be crushed.
“Psychology,” she said at last. “Child psychology. Specifically childhood traumas. I want to help children like Heidi. But going back to school? I don’t know if I can do it. School was never my thing.”
“You were never motivated before. You are now. They say that returning women are the most successful students in college.”
“Seriously?”
“Sure. Start small. Go to community college, then transfer. It’s the same classes at a slower pace.”
Community college? Izzy hadn’t thought of that. “It makes the process seem more manageable,” she admitted.
“Or you could just stay here and marry Nick.”
Izzy was glad she was sitting down, but hated that she couldn’t see Rita’s expression. “What?”
“You heard me. I may be blind, but I can see what’s going on between the two of you.”
“But we…I…What?”
There was something going on, but it was just that they liked each other and were going through something intense. He had helped her last night, which she appreciated. But married?
“I don’t do commitments. Never have.” That would require trusting someone to be there, to take care of her. Not her strong suit. “And Nick isn’t looking for anything permanent.” Until he could at least start on the road to forgiving himself, he wasn’t in a position to care about anyone.
“He’s a good guy. I’ve known him a while now. And he’s supposed to be decent eye candy.”
Izzy tried to laugh and choked instead. “Less of an issue for me today,” she said, touching the bandages. “We’re just friends.”
Rita snorted. “Sure. Like anyone believes that.” She stood. “The horses aren’t going to take care of themselves. Come on. We have work to do.”
Work Izzy could handle. “You have some really strange ideas.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But if I’m right, I’ll be the first one to say I told you so.”
“JED TITAN’S HERE to see you. He doesn’t have an appointment.”
Garth raised his eyebrows. Jed coming to see him? That could only be good. The winner in a war never bothered with personal visits.
He pushed the intercom button on his phone. “Send him in.”
He’d barely had time to walk around his desk when the door opened and Jed strolled in.
His father was a tall man, fit, with only a hint of gray in his dark hair. Garth knew he looked a whole lot more like Jed than Kathy. He’d also inherited his father’s ruthless nature, quest for dominance and business savvy. He had a feeling that any softer characteristics his mother might claim had long been burned out of him.
“Jed,” he said, crossing the space between them and offering his hand.
“Garth.”
They shook. Jed eyed him, as if assessing him.
“Nice office,” the older man said. “You own the building?”
“Sure. Why pay rent when you can collect it?”
Jed nodded. “Good. That’s what I like to hear.” He crossed to the leather sofas and chairs in the corner and took a seat. “It’s a little early for bourbon so I’ll take coffee. Black.”
Garth used the intercom to give his assistant the order, then settled in a club chair opposite Jed.
“Cowboys have a fair chance this year,” Jed said. “You follow football?”
“Not especially. Work keeps me busy.”
“It’s the Cowboys. They’re America’s team.”
“I’m not sure the rest of the country would agree with that.”
“Screw ’em.”
The coffee was delivered. When the door closed and they were alone again, Jed leaned toward him.
“Garth, I have a proposition for you.”
Victory, Garth thought, feeling a bone-deep sense of satisfaction. If not today, then soon. Jed was running scared. His visit here was proof of that. The plan was working.
“Which is?”
“A partnership. This has been a good game. You’ve given me a run for my money and I respect that, but we’re talking business. Why waste the resources?”
“Because I have money to burn.”
Jed’s gaze sharpened. “So do I, but it’s not necessary. Here’s what I’m offering. I’ll bring you in as president of Titan World with a generous salary. I’ll gift you a truckload of shares. The rest you’ll vest over time so that when I’m gone you’ll have controlling interest in the company. I mean the whole company. Not just a piece here or there. I’ll also cut my daughters out of my will. You’ll get it all. You’ll win.”
It was an offer made of desperation, Garth thought, pleased and a little disappointed. He hadn’t thought Jed would cave so easily and he sure wasn’t ready for the game to be over.
“What makes you think I don’t want your daughters to get anything?”
“You’ve gone after them plenty. Look, Garth. I’m impressed and proud as hell. This is a onetime offer. What do you say?”
“That I’m not interested in working for you. I’ve built my own business.”
Jed glared at him. “It’s nothing compared to Titan World.”
“It’s getting there. Give me another year. As for the stock, I already own nearly ten percent. I plan to take you down the old-fashioned way.”
Jed visibly relaxed. He leaned back against the sofa. “You want to play rough.”
“Absolutely.”
“I respect you coming after me. You have a bone to pick and maybe I earned it. But my girls are different. What you did to Izzy is just plain wrong. It’s also against the law.”
“I didn’t have anything to do with the explosion. I might be interested in having a little fun with my sisters, but I’ve done nothing to hurt them. I don’t know what happened on that rig, but it wasn’t me.”
Jed shook his head. “At least admit you did it.”
“If I had, I would. But I didn’t.”
Which left the same question on the table. Who else was after Jed? Who else had so much on the line that he would blow up an oil rig?
His gaze returned to his father. Had he been set up by Jed? Would Jed do that to his own kid, just to make Garth the bad guy? Why not? Jed was ruthless.
Garth stood. “I appreciate the offer, but no thanks. I don’t need to work for you to control Titan World.”
Jed came to his feet. “You won’t win, boy. I’ll crush you.”
“You’ll try. There’s a difference. But in the end, I’ll have it all.”
“Then I’ll see you in hell.”
Garth shrugged. “You first.”