IZZY SAT IN THE SUN, taking in the chaos around her. She could smell the meat on the barbecue and the sweet scent of lemonade, hear the multiple conversations, the clink of ice in glasses and hum of insects. It was a perfect September Saturday and most everyone she cared about in the world was around her.
Lexi was there with Cruz and his daughter, Kendra. Skye had brought Mitch and Erin. Rita and her husband had come, as had Norma, whose “date” was an Australian Shepherd who kept trying to herd everyone into a central spot. Aaron had brought his boyfriend, Steve. Izzy felt the love and support all around her but the one person she was most interested in hadn’t come out of the house yet.
She was annoyed both by his tardiness and by her desire to have him next to her. Being totally blind was hard and having Nick nearby made it easier.
Familiarity, she told herself. It had nothing to do with how she felt. It couldn’t. Talk about a disaster.
“How are you doing?” Dana asked as she came and sat next to Izzy.
“Okay. Still blind.”
“I can see that. The bandages are a nice reminder.”
“You like them? I think they’re going to be on all the spring runways.”
“Like I’d know what that means,” Dana grumbled.
“It’s a fashion thing.”
“I don’t do fashion.”
Izzy grinned. “Or the whole mani-pedi experience. Do you even own mascara?”
“I did. Once. Maybe.”
Dana was a wonderful friend and a lot of fun, but she was the opposite of girly.
“It’s probably best you didn’t go into retail,” Izzy teased.
“You think?” Dana sighed. “Everyone here has someone but me. Even Norma brought a dog.”
“Do you want a dog?”
“No. I’m just saying.”
“You want a guy.”
“Maybe.” Dana sounded almost angry. “Let’s change the subject.”
“Why? You could date.”
“Thanks. I was waiting for your permission.”
Izzy laughed. “At least now you have it. Look. You’re great and pretty and sexy and guys love that. But you’ve always picked safe, boring men who don’t challenge you. Then you dump them because they’re safe and boring. You need to try a different type.”
Dana didn’t say anything. Izzy suspected it was because her friend was afraid to try a different type. She didn’t want the challenge. Izzy suspected there were secrets in Dana’s past she’d never talked about and it would be impossible to-
The skin on the back of her neck prickled. She couldn’t say why-she hadn’t heard anything. But the sensation wouldn’t go away. Seconds later, a strong, warm hand settled on her shoulder.
“How are you holding up?” Nick asked.
“Good. This is nice. Thanks for having everyone over.” She felt oddly nervous to be around Nick and most of her family. As if she were afraid they would figure something out.
This was all Rita’s fault, Izzy thought grimly. If Rita hadn’t made that stupid comment about marrying Nick, she would feel completely normal. But noooo.
Just as awkward was the conversation she’d had at her doctor’s office the previous day. She’d been in for a bandage change. One done in a nearly totally dark room with her eyes closed, so she still didn’t know if she could see or not. But Dr. Greenspoon had lifted her physical restrictions. Meaning she could now go riding. Or, more important, make love with Nick.
Only she hadn’t told him. Her! A woman used to taking whatever she wanted. A woman who gave as good as she got in bed, as well as everywhere else in life. She’d felt awkward and shy. Almost confused. And she hadn’t said a word.
“Sorry I’m late,” Nick said. “I was talking to a social worker about a couple of kids.”
“You didn’t miss much,” Dana told him. “Skye’s daughter, Erin, and your friend Aaron can’t get over the fact that they have the same name, only it’s spelled differently. The joke is hilarious to them, but getting old for the rest of us.”
Izzy laughed. “You’ll have to forgive Dana. She’s a little cynical.”
“Sounds like your kind of people,” Nick said.
“She is.”
“I’m going to get a beer. Want anything?”
“I’m good,” Izzy told him.
“Me, too,” Dana said. A few seconds later, she added, “You’re going to be pleasantly surprised when you get a look at him. Seen him naked yet?”
Izzy grinned. “Not seen. How about experienced?”
“That’s my girl.” She lowered her voice. “I’ve heard about some interesting leads on the explosion. I’ve made friends with a couple of guys on the team and they’re keeping me informed. I hope it leads somewhere. The Dallas police are all over the guy who hacked into Skye’s foundation. So far he’s not talking, but I think it’s just a matter of time until he cracks.”
“I hope so,” Izzy said. “I’m so ready for us to take Garth down.”
“Me, too. I plan to do everything in my power to crush him like the bug he is.”
“Can I watch?”
“Every second of it.”
NICK LOOKED at Izzy from across the yard. She sat with her sisters and they were all laughing about something. There were over a dozen people at the picnic-friends, not a corporate retreat. It was personal.
He didn’t do personal. Didn’t believe in it. He knew he had to keep himself apart-part of the ongoing punishment.
What would Izzy say if he told her that? Or did she already know? Had she guessed? Thinking about her made him wonder how long he had to pay, which was a stupid question. The payments never ended. There would never be atonement. He couldn’t ever do enough.
He spotted a car heading up the driveway. He hadn’t expected anyone else. The small import screamed rental car. He headed toward it, then stared at the young woman who climbed out.
She was petite, with red hair and too many freckles. He recognized her immediately. Her name was Denise and she’d been the first kid he’d ever had at the ranch.
Aaron rushed past him, shrieking like a girl. “You made it. I wasn’t sure you would.”
They hugged.
“Made it” as in she was invited? Nick looked at Aaron. “What’s going on?”
“A nice surprise to help you remember you’re one of the good guys.” Aaron hopped in place as he beamed at Denise. “I haven’t seen you in forever. You look fabulous.”
Denise laughed. “So do you.”
Nick moved toward them. “Hi.”
“Hey, Nick.” Denise smiled at him, then looked past him to the crowd. “No one said there was a party.”
“Nothing big. It’s a barbecue for friends.”
Denise had been a sullen, withdrawn teenager whose mother had been in and out of her life for years. When Denise had been fourteen, her mother had taken her out on the streets to bring in money as a prostitute. Denise had endured for nearly six months, running away time and time again, until she was picked up by the police and turned over to foster care.
It wasn’t the drinking and drugs that had made her caseworker nervous. It had been the cutting. When things got too bad, Denise cut herself.
She’d been in therapy about a year when she’d shown up as his first kid. He hadn’t known what to do with her, but Rita had stuck her on a horse and Aaron had talked boys and fashion. She’d stayed a long weekend, then had returned half a dozen times. Nick had written her a letter of recommendation to college and paid her tuition. Scholarships had funded the rest.
“You have friends?” Denise teased. “What happened to solitary guy?”
“He’s growing,” Aaron said, hugging her again. “We’re all so proud. And look at you. I love your haircut. It’s perfect.”
“I learned everything I know about fashion from you.”
Aaron waved his hands in front of his eyes as if trying not to cry. “I need to get a glass of water.” He moved away.
Nick turned toward Denise. “Everything okay?”
She grinned. “Better than okay. Aaron e-mailed me a couple of weeks ago, just to say hi. He suggested I stop by. I couldn’t get the idea out of my head. Mostly because I should have come to see you before. I wanted you to see this.” She pulled a small card out of her back pocket.
He took it and stared at the ID. It was for Denise, showing her to be a student at the UCLA medical school. He felt a flush of pride. “Good for you.”
“I’m going to be a doctor. I’m leaning toward specializing in trauma. It’s grueling and I should be back there studying, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Nick. How you helped me.”
He handed her the ID card. “You did this yourself.”
She shook her head. “I don’t just mean that you paid for most of my college. I never told you before, but that day you came and got me…” She looked down, then back at him. “I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t stand hurting myself, but I didn’t know another way to manage. I’d decided to kill myself. I’d figured out exactly how to do it. Then you showed up and made me come here and everything changed.”
Her green eyes were bright with hope and promise. “I wanted you to know you saved my life.”
Her praise made him uncomfortable. “Like I said, you saved yourself.”
“Still not taking credit for what you do?” she asked. “Maybe I should go into psychiatry and figure out why.”
“No, thanks.”
“Typical guy.” She stepped forward and hugged him.
He hugged her back. “You did good, kid. You earned your way out of hell. Don’t ever look back.”
“I won’t. I just wanted to say thank-you. For the chance. For dragging me out here. You make a huge difference here. Aaron tells me you’re still having kids out. Don’t ever stop. You never know who you’re going to save.”
He didn’t know what to say to that.
Denise giggled. “If you could see your face.”
He desperately wanted to take a step back, turn and run. “That’s really, ah, sweet of you. Do you need anything? Can I help pay for medical school?”
“I’m fine. I have grants and scholarships and if all goes well, I won’t even need a student loan.”
“Come to me before you get a loan. I want to help.”
“I know. That’s why you’re one of the good guys.” She glanced at her watch. “I need to head back to the airport soon. I’m doing a one-day turnaround and want to drop in on a few friends. I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
They hugged again, then she waved and left. Nick watched her go. When he turned back to the picnic, he saw Aaron talking to Izzy and her sisters. Skye and Lexi were staring at him with identical “that’s so sweet” expressions. Izzy simply smiled.
He knew what they were thinking, but that was going to change just as soon as he told Izzy the truth about Garth. He’d already put it off too long-he knew that. But he’d wanted to wait until after the surgery. As soon as the bandages came off, he would tell her. Better to hear it from him than Garth. Because if the man he’d once thought of as his friend believed it would help his cause, he would tell Izzy himself. Former friendship be damned.
But however she heard it, she would be devastated. And not just her. Aaron, who was a better friend than he deserved, and Izzy’s family would be hurt. The information would wound them all and there was nothing he could do to make it better or easier for anyone.
IZZY TRIED HER BEST to keep still in the chair, but it was difficult. “Will I know right away? Is it going to hurt? Do I have to wear dark glasses?”
Dr. Greenspoon gently unwound the bandages from around her head. “We’ve dimmed the lights so don’t worry if everything isn’t as bright as you’d like. It will take a few minutes for your eyes to focus. Try to relax.”
“You didn’t tell me to stop talking.”
“I didn’t think that was possible.”
Izzy tried to laugh at the joke, but she was too scared. The week was over, the moment was here. In a few seconds she would know if she could see or not. Her entire life would change based on the outcome of the surgery.
“I’m going to throw up,” she whispered.
“No, you’re not.”
The last of the bandages fell away, as did the pads that had been pressed against her eyes.
She sat in the exam room, terrified of opening her eyes and learning the truth-that she was blind forever. That she was going to have to learn to be strong and resourceful in ways she didn’t know were possible.
She wasn’t that kind of tough. She was…
Izzy realized she wasn’t in total darkness anymore. There was a hint of light. Slowly she opened her eyes and blinked several times. There was a second of blurriness, then the room came into focus. She could see Dr. Greenspoon, the equipment and just beyond that, Lexi and Skye standing together, hands clutched, their faces locked in identical expressions of hope and dread.
Izzy’s gaze dropped to the light tan Coach handbag Lexi had over one arm.
“Great bag,” she said. “Is it new?”
Lexi and Skye both shrieked and rushed toward her. Izzy jumped to her feet as they grabbed each other.
“I can see! I can see!”
“I knew it would work,” Skye said. “I knew it had to.”
“I was so scared,” Lexi admitted. “This is the best.”
More than the best, Izzy thought, practically floating with happiness and relief. She could see. She could see!
The three of them turned to the doctor, a delightful man in his seventies, then took turns kissing him on the cheek.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” Izzy whispered as she hugged him. “You’re a miracle worker.”
He smiled at her. “That’s what I like to hear.”
Thirty minutes later, they stepped out into the sunny morning. Izzy had on sunglasses, but the light didn’t bother her at all. In fact, it was amazing and the world was a beautiful place.
Okay, she was looking at a parking lot, but the sky was blue and the cars were so pretty. She could see.
“I didn’t know if this was going to happen,” she admitted as she walked next to her sisters. “I’m relieved.”
“Us, too,” Lexi told her.
“And happy,” Skye added.
Izzy couldn’t believe it. She had no restrictions. Just eye drops to use three times a day and a follow-up visit in a couple of weeks.
They turned down a row of cars. She came to a stop. A familiar red GT Mustang convertible was parked next to Skye’s SUV.
“You brought my car,” Izzy said, feeling her throat tighten.
“We weren’t going to tell you if it hadn’t gone well,” Skye said. “I called the doctor’s office a couple of days ago and they said you’d be able to drive so we wanted it here.”
Izzy took the keys Lexi offered. “I have wheels.”
“You have an engine and tires, too,” Lexi said with a grin. “Oh, and I believe this is yours, too.”
Izzy frowned as Lexi pulled something small from her pocket and held it out. Izzy took it, then laughed when she recognized the swirl of tiny diamonds.
“I still think piercing your belly button is beyond strange,” Skye said with a sniff. “They took it out while you were unconscious at the hospital. I wanted to sell it at a pawn shop and donate the proceeds to charity.”
“Of course you did.” Izzy grinned. “But as I haven’t had the benefit of your elegant finishing school education, I’m happy to have it back.”
She would put it in later, then flash it at Nick.
Thinking about him made her both excited and nervous. She was finally going to see what he looked like. Would seeing him be okay? Would she feel weird about it? Would he?
“Want to get coffee?” Lexi asked. “There’s a Starbucks around the corner.”
“I’d love that,” Skye said.
“Me, too.” Izzy wanted to spend a little time with her sisters before going to the ranch.
When they’d ordered their lattes and were seated at a corner table, Izzy took a minute to simply look around. The store was just like all the others. Light and bright, full of delicious smells and friendly conversation. She could see the colorful labels on the bags of beans for sale. The fall shades of the mugs, the print on the newspaper left abandoned on the next table.
She turned back to her sisters and saw them both watching her.
“Sorry,” she said with a laugh. “Just enjoying the miracle. I feel like Scrooge on Christmas morning. I’ve been given a second chance.”
Skye’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Me, too,” Lexi said, not nearly as emotional. “What are you going to do with it? Any big changes planned?”
“Like not piercing your belly button?” Skye asked.
“I won’t get it pierced again,” Izzy promised. “But if I can fit this back in…”
“That’s tacky.”
“I know. I’ve been given a second chance, not a new personality.”
The sisters smiled at each other.
Izzy sipped her latte. “I’m going to get a job and start saving for college.”
Skye nearly choked on her coffee. Lexi’s eyes widened. They both stared at her.
Lexi recovered first. “College?”
“Community college. I have to get my brain in working order. Then I’ll transfer to a four year. I want to study psychology. Specifically for children. We’ve had a few at the ranch. There was this one girl, Heidi. She’s been through a lot. I want to help and college seems like the place to start.”
More tears filled Skye’s eyes.
“Maybe you should go see Dr. Greenspoon,” Izzy muttered. “I’m going to college, Skye. Not curing world hunger.”
“But it’s so great.” Skye dabbed at her eyes. “Don’t get a job. I’ll release your trust money.”
Izzy did her best not to react. The trust was from the money their mother had left Skye when Pru had died. Skye had taken a percentage of it and put it in trust for Izzy until she was thirty. It would more than pay for college, along with living expenses.
“You don’t have to do that,” Izzy told her. “I can work.”
“But it will be easier to focus on your studies. Izzy, that money was always for your future. Now you know what you want it to be.”
Which all sounded great, as long as Izzy didn’t think too much about the fact that her own mother hadn’t bothered to mention her in the will.
“I appreciate that,” she said at last. “Thanks.”
“College,” Lexi said. “You going out for cheerleading?”
“Very funny. I’m not the one who tried out for the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.”
Lexi winced. “We agreed not to talk about that again.”
“You agreed,” Izzy teased. “Me? Not so much.”
Izzy spent an hour with her sisters, before heading back to the ranch. She put the top down on her convertible, cranked up the CD player and loved every second of the long drive.
There was so much to see. The sky, the other cars, the strip malls. Life was good and she planned to enjoy every minute of it.
She managed to keep her nerves at bay right until she turned off the highway and headed down the long road leading to the main house of the ranch. She slowed as she approached, taking in the large, white clapboard structure with the wide porch and flowerpots. Beyond the house was the barn and the corrals. In the distance she could just make out the shapes of the guest cottages.
Scared and jittery, she parked her car and climbed out. The front door opened. A thin man stepped out. He was only a few inches taller than her, with sandy brown hair and brown eyes. His shirt was lavender, his jeans tighter than hers and he wore bright red cowboy boots. She grinned.
“You’re beyond fabulous,” she yelled.
Aaron clapped his hands, then rushed toward her. “Seriously? You can see me? Don’t you love my boots?”
“They’re perfection!”
They hugged, then Aaron put his arm around her shoulders. “So, what do you think about Chez Nick?”
“Fancy.”
“I’ve had to make a lot of changes. You should have seen it when I got here. It gave the word institutional a bad name. You’re healed? All is well?”
“I’m healed and have nothing but eye drops to worry about. Oh, and no eye makeup for the next month.”
“You don’t need it.” Aaron squeezed. “I’m so happy for you. Come on in. You’ll want to see the house. And Nick.”
Izzy hung back. “I thought I’d go see Rita first.”
“Chicken.”
“Maybe. I need a few minutes.”
“All right. When you’re ready, he’s in his office. I won’t say a word.”
“Thanks.”
Aaron went back in the house and Izzy started toward the barn. Partway there, she paused and glanced back at the house. She really wanted to see Nick, to finally know what he looked like. But not just yet.
The barn was big and red, with crisp, white trim. As she walked in the large open door, she saw that everything was clean, the supplies neatly stacked. She followed the sound of soft words into the storeroom.
Rita stood patting a barn cat on a shelf. Izzy took in the petite woman’s curly brown hair, her work-roughened hands and eyes that didn’t track with her actions.
“Hi,” Izzy said.
Rita turned toward her. “What happened?”
“I can see.”
Rita smiled and moved toward her. “Good. I knew that’s what would happen, but I’m happy all the same.”
Izzy bit her lower lip. “Are you sure it’s okay?” Because nothing changed for Rita.
The older woman cupped Izzy’s face. “Never be sorry for what you have. Be grateful. But don’t think this means you’re going to stop working for me.”
“I’d like to stay.” For as long as Nick would let her. But she was only here to heal. Wouldn’t everything be different now? Wasn’t she supposed to leave?
“Then tell him that.”
“Okay.”
Rita dropped her hands to Izzy’s shoulders, turned her and gave her a little shove. “Tell him now.”
Izzy made her way back to the house. She went inside.
The huge living room was decorated in shades of green. The hardwood floors were covered with big rugs. There were comfortable sofas and chairs. She crossed to a couch and touched the fabric she’d never been able to see before. The fireplace was brick. She hadn’t known there was one. Brass lamps sat on end tables. Everything was different than she’d imagined. Different, yet familiar.
She took a step, then stopped, not sure where to find Nick’s office. Then she closed her eyes. The darkness was familiar. She got her bearings, opened her eyes and started down the hall.
A door stood open on her left. She heard him working on his computer. Izzy swallowed a couple of times, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. She jumped out of planes without a second thought. Of course she could walk into a room and say hi to a guy. She stepped into the doorway.
“Hi, Nick.”
He looked up, then stood.
Her first impression was of size. He was tall and muscled, which she’d figured out already, but knowing and seeing were very different. He had broad shoulders and long legs. He seemed to fill the room with his presence.
He had dark hair, which wasn’t a surprise, but piercing green eyes that were. His mouth was perfect, nearly as good to look at as to kiss.
“Izzy.”
She saw the questions in his eyes, the concern and something that might have been a little case of nerves. She smiled.
“You’re very crush-worthy.”
He gave her a slow, sexy smile that made the butterflies in her stomach sigh. He walked around the desk. “You can see.”
“Everything. I’m healed and restored and ready to swim with sharks. Oh. I can’t go swimming for a month. No swimming, no eye makeup, but otherwise, it’s back to nor-”
He silenced her with a kiss. That sensual mouth of his claimed her with lips and tongue. She hung on to him, feeling the shoulders she’d just seen, knowing what the muscled body now looked like.
Kissing him felt right, she thought, giving in to the experience. Better than right. It felt like something she would be very happy doing for the next five thousand years.
He broke the kiss and stared into her eyes. “Ready to hear I told you so?”
“You’re one of those kind of guys. That’s disappointing.”
He kissed her again.
She let the desire wash through her. It mingled with happiness and elation and every good feeling she could imagine. Today was a very good day.
He straightened and rubbed his thumb against her mouth. “What am I going to do with you?”
A question she wasn’t sure she wanted answered. “Whatever you want?”
The slow, sexy grin reappeared. “Works for me. But I was thinking about out of bed.”
“Oh. That.”
“We’re busy for the next few weeks. Want to stay and help out with the corporate retreats? Aaron always needs staff.”
She rested her hands on his chest. “You mean I wouldn’t be in charge?”
“Not this time.”
Stay here with Nick? It was the best offer she’d had all day. She would be doing work she enjoyed while getting ready to start the next phase of her life. And, hey, maybe figure out her feelings about Nick.
“I’d like that.”
“Good. I’ve already talked to Aaron and he’s giddy with excitement. He wants to meet with you this afternoon.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Now I’ll have to take notes and everything.” She grinned. “Kinda cool, huh?”
“It works for me.”
She started to leave, then turned back to face him. “Oh, I have wheels now. My sisters brought my car to the doctor’s office. It’s the red Mustang. If you ask real nice, I’ll let you drive it.”
“How nice?”
“You’ll figure it out. And that’s not the only thing that’s new.” She pulled up the hem of her T-shirt, exposing her belly button and the diamond bar nestled against her skin. “For later.”
He swallowed. “Promise?”
“Oh, yeah.”