NICOLE WALKED into her house to find it filled with teenagers. There were several girls sitting together on the sectional sofa, a group of guys sprawled on the floor. There were books lying open, papers scattered around, chips, soda, a couple of bags of cookies and the sound of conversation.
She came to a stop, not sure what to make of the invasion. Raoul had moved in so it made sense that his friends would stop by to see him…except Jesse had never brought friends around.
Nicole hadn’t thought of it before, but suddenly she remembered how Jesse had always been disappearing, rather than bringing people home. When Nicole had questioned her, Jesse had said it was easier to go to her friends’ houses, but had it been? Was there some reason Jesse hadn’t wanted to spend time here or invite anyone she knew?
“Hi,” a few of the kids called.
“Bring any cupcakes?” one of the guys asked.
She smiled. “I didn’t, but I will tomorrow.”
“Sweet.”
Raoul scrambled to his feet and followed her into the kitchen. “Should I have asked before inviting them over?”
She had to tilt her head back to meet his gaze. He looked both excited and nervous. She doubted he’d had company visiting when he’d been in foster care, and abandoned buildings didn’t provide much in the way of teen amenities.
“It’s fine,” she said. “The same rules apply. And no one goes upstairs or in the basement. Not even Brittany.”
He grinned. “What are you worried about?”
“You know exactly what I’m worried about. It’s not going to happen. No one has sex in this house.”
He raised his eyebrows.
She thought about Hawk and how he’d made her feel when they were together. With Brittany in his house and Raoul in her house, getting together was going to be a scheduling nightmare.
“Not even me,” she said with a sigh. “Is that clear?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He was grinning as he spoke. The smile faded. “Thanks for taking me in, Nicole.”
She shrugged. “We’ll work it out.”
She wasn’t sure how. There were still details to consider. Like how long he would be staying. Through the school year? That was a serious commitment. But it was also a problem she would deal with later.
“Go back to your friends,” she said. “Tell them not to leave a mess or I’ll get really annoyed. Trust me, that’s nothing they’ll find pretty.”
He grinned. “You’re the best.”
“Don’t I know it.”
She grabbed a Diet Coke for herself and went up to her room. As she passed Jesse’s room, she stepped inside.
Nothing had changed since her sister had left. Most of her stuff was still there. Jesse had only taken what she could carry.
There were stuffed animals on a shelf, posters, books, clothes piled in a corner.
She sat on the bed and looked around. What had gone wrong? How could everything have fallen apart so quickly and without warning? One minute everything had been fine and the next Drew had been cheating on her with her own sister.
Honestly, Jesse’s betrayal hurt a lot more than his. She’d known Drew was a mistake shortly after they’d gotten married, but she’d been too embarrassed to admit it. She was confident there had been other women before Jesse. But her own sister?
Did Jesse hate her that much? Yes, they’d had some hard times as Jesse had grown up, but they’d been family. Didn’t that count for anything?
Apparently not, Nicole thought, fighting tears. She loved Jesse, but she had a feeling she would never forgive her. Not for what she’d done, but for obviously not caring that she’d done it. Not caring who she’d hurt.
Now Jesse was pregnant. Nicole still had trouble with that one. Her baby sister having a baby. Did the promise of a child change anything? Should Nicole bring her back home?
Everything inside her screamed no. That Jesse had to grow up, learn to be responsible. Maybe a baby was the best way. But was that concern speaking or betrayal?
“Enough,” Nicole said as she stood. She was done mourning the past and worrying about what couldn’t be fixed. Nothing would be solved today. She had time to figure it out.
She walked into the hallway and moved to her room. A burst of laughter floated up the stairs. It was a good sound, she thought, her mood lightening. There should always be laughter in a house.
WHEN THE FRONT DOOR banged shut for the eighth time, Nicole went downstairs. She braced herself for a disaster in the great room, but it was surprisingly clean. The carpet needed vacuuming, but otherwise, all the wrappers, cans and trash were gone.
Talk about impressive, she thought as she walked into the kitchen, prepared to thank Raoul. He was turning out to be a-
She paused as she saw him drop a cooked chicken breast into a sandwich bag and then slip the bag into his jeans pocket.
Her first thought was surprise. There was plenty to eat. He didn’t have to save for later. Especially something that should be kept refrigerated. But maybe it wasn’t about being hungry now. Maybe he had a strong need to hoard. She’d read an article about starving children once. How even when they were rescued, they still worried about having enough to eat. If that was his problem, maybe she should find a psychologist, because this was a problem she didn’t know how to fix.
“Raoul?” She spoke softly, not wanting to startle him.
He spun toward her, the look of guilt so clear, she knew immediately this wasn’t about being hungry later.
“What?” she demanded.
“Nothing.”
“You have chicken in your pocket. That’s not nothing. What is it?” She tried to think of possibilities and then wished she hadn’t. “There’s another kid, isn’t there?”
She swore silently. A practically grown, legally adult teenager was one thing, but another kid? There wasn’t room in the house without cleaning out Jesse’s room and, despite everything, she wasn’t sure she was ready for that.
“No,” he said quickly. “It’s not that.”
“Then what?” Why would he need food?
He shifted uncomfortably. She decided to play the impatient-adult card and put her hands on her hips. “I’m waiting.”
He hung his head. “There’s a dog. A stray. I’ve been feeding her.”
Nicole wasn’t even surprised. A dog. Of course. Because she was a responsibility magnet.
“I couldn’t just leave her to starve,” he went on. “So I’ve been taking her food. I usually buy her dog food, but I ran out and I haven’t been to the store.” He pulled the chicken out of his pocket. “Should I put this back?”
What? Like she was going to tell him yes so some poor dog could go hungry?
“How big?” she asked.
“What?”
“How big is the dog?”
“About fifteen pounds. She’s really friendly. I call her Sheila. That’s Australian for girl.” Suddenly he looked more like he was eight than eighteen.
Nicole knew there were very few choices. She could insist he take Sheila to an animal shelter and be the big bad, or she could accept that her life had taken a different kind of turn and become a dog owner. There really wasn’t much of a choice.
“Go get her,” she said with a sigh. “Bring her back, but know that she’s going to have to stay in the garage until I can get to a vet tomorrow and get her checked out and defleaed and whatever else she needs. Also, being a pet owner means being responsible. You’ll have to feed her and exercise her and clean up the yard. If I have to step in dog poop when I go outside, I’m going to be very, very annoyed. Is that clear?”
Raoul grabbed her and hugged her until he’d squeezed out all her air. Then he released her and grinned.
“You’re the best!”
“That’s me. Saint Nicole.”
“I’ll take care of everything. You won’t even know she’s here.”
If only that were true. “Just go get her.”
“I will.”
“Wait.” She dug in her purse and pulled out a couple of twenties. “Stop by the pet store. Get some dog food, a bed, a leash and a collar.”
He grinned. “Thanks.”
She waved him away. “Oh, wait. Put the chicken back.”
“SHEILA IS A HEALTHY DOG,” Dr. Walters, the vet in the animal clinic, said. “She’s about two years old.”
The vet was young, probably fresh out of veterinary school, which was fine with Nicole. She’d been grateful to get an appointment first thing in the morning.
Sheila was a scruffy pile of fur with big eyes and a friendly personality. Nicole wouldn’t have thought about getting a dog, but now that she had one, even if it technically belonged to Raoul, she was getting used to the idea.
“She seems housebroken,” she said. “She didn’t chew on anything and she likes to play. She also eats a lot.”
“Typical for a stray,” the doctor told her. “You’ll have to measure her food or she’ll put on weight.”
“More weight,” Nicole muttered. Sheila might be cute, but she was also chubby.
The dog seemed to know they were talking about her. Her tail started wagging and she leaned in and swiped Nicole with her tongue.
“She’s not fat,” Dr. Walters said, patting the dog who sat on the examination table. “She’s pregnant.” He scratched the dog’s back. “I would say she’s due in three or four weeks.”
He kept talking. Nicole could see his lips moving, but she couldn’t hear the words.
Sheila was pregnant? Even the damn dog got to have a family of her own? Claire, then Jesse, and now the dog? Was that fair?
Nicole sucked in a sob. She wanted a family, too. She wanted to belong and be loved and have babies. But was that going to happen? Nooooo.
“Ms. Keyes? Nicole? Are you all right?”
Nicole started to say she was fine, then realized she couldn’t speak because she was crying. Crying because a stupid stray dog got knocked up?
“I’m okay,” she managed. “Ignore me.”
Dr. Walters looked uncomfortable as he handed her a box of tissues. She took a couple and wiped her eyes, then tried to smile.
“It’s fine,” she repeated. “I’m having a meltdown that has nothing to do with you or Sheila. Go on. You were saying she’s due in a few weeks.”
“Ah, that’s right. You’ll want to be careful about what she eats. She’s probably behind with her shots, but we’ll wait until after the puppies are born.”
“Great. Perfect. She can have a bath, though, right?” Because as cute as Sheila was, she smelled.
“Sure. We can do that here. You can leave her and pick her up later.”
He seemed eager for Nicole to leave. Not that she could blame him. She gave him a watery smile, promised to read the material he sent home on doggie deliveries and left her cell number with the receptionist.
She drove to Wyatt’s house and knocked on the front door. When Claire answered, Nicole started to cry again.
“What’s wrong?” her sister asked, pulling her inside. “What happened?”
“N-nothing,” Nicole said as she sank onto the sofa. “It’s so stupid. Sheila is pregnant.”
Claire sat next to her and rubbed her arm. “Who’s Sheila?”
“A dog. I took her to the vet and she’s pregnant.” More tears fell. “Everyone’s pregnant but me. I want a family. I’ve always wanted a family. Not with Drew, but with someone good. But that’s not going to happen and now the stupid dog is pregnant. Plus the vet was really young and I think I made him uncomfortable by crying in his office.”
“He’ll get over it. When did you get a dog?”
“Yesterday. I cried when he told me about Sheila.”
“Which will make him understand women are complex creatures. It’s a lesson he has to learn eventually. Better early than late.”
Nicole laughed and cried, which wasn’t easy. Then she hiccupped.
“How did everything get so messed up?” she asked, knowing she sounded pitiful.
“It’s not messed up.”
“It’s not the way I wanted it to be. Some of that is good. I’m glad you’re here and with Wyatt, but what about what happened with Jesse? It’s a disaster.”
“So make it better.”
Nicole shook her head. “She hasn’t even apologized.”
“Do you need to hear the words?”
“Wouldn’t you?”
Claire sighed. “Probably.”
“I’m upset.”
“Don’t be. You’ll meet someone. Someone great.”
Nicole realized that she’d yet to share her happy, albeit fake, good news.
“I’m dating someone,” she said. “Someone really great. You don’t have to feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you.” Claire looked confused. “You’re dating?”
“It’s possible. Men find me attractive.”
“I know they do. I didn’t know you were ready to start looking for someone. I think it’s great.”
Nicole still felt teary and upset and now defensive. “He’s amazing. Handsome and funny, with a killer body. He teaches high school football and he used to play professionally. His name is Eric Hawkins. Hawk.”
“You’re dating?” Claire repeated. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“I’ve been busy. I’ve gotten involved with the football team. I went to a couple of games and I bring dessert when they look at game films and Hawk and I have been going out.” Nicole felt a little guilty for not saying anything to Claire before this. “I was going to tell you.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
Ironically, she’d started the relationship with Hawk in an effort to prove to the world she was doing just fine. Hard for the world to know if she didn’t tell it.
“So you like him?” Claire asked.
“Uh-huh.” Nicole was telling the truth. She did like Hawk. He was a good guy. She liked him best in bed, but she wasn’t going to share that.
“I’m really happy for you.”
“You don’t sound happy,” Nicole said.
“I’m just surprised. I thought we were getting close. That you would share this with me.”
Nicole winced. “I didn’t mean to leave you out or anything.”
“I know. It’s not a problem.”
Claire spoke too quickly, which meant it was a problem.
Just what Nicole needed-another screwed-up relationship.
“I’m really sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not. I swear.”
“I’m not sure I believe you.”
“You should. We’ll go out,” Claire said. “The four of us.”
“Hawk’s a little pressed for time, what with this being football season, but I’ll talk to him.” Was dinner with her family part of their deal? Did it matter? She didn’t want to mess up her relationship with her sister.
“I’m looking forward to meeting him,” Claire said.
“You and Wyatt will really like him.”
Nicole wasn’t pretending about that. She was sure Hawk would get along great with them. Too bad nothing about their time together was real. It was just a game and when the season was up, it would all be over.
“WHAT DO YOU THINK?” Brittany asked as she held out a spoon. She was cooking chicken and noodles, which was actually pretty good.
Nicole nodded as she swallowed. “You’re getting the hang of this.”
“Cooking? It’s fun, but I don’t have to do it every day. I talked to my dad and said I would cook once a week if he let me stay out a half hour later.”
“Interesting negotiation. What did he say?”
She scrunched up her face. “He laughed for a really long time, then said my cooking wasn’t that good, but it was a nice try.”
Nicole bit back a smile. “Not buying it, huh?”
“No, and that really bugs me. I thought it was a great deal.” She stirred the mixture again. “You wouldn’t mind us having some wine with dinner, would you? It’s not like we’ll be driving.”
Nicole didn’t even blink. “I would mind, very much. You’re not even eighteen. The drinking age is twenty-one.”
“Sometimes you’re really parental.”
“Sometimes you’re really a brat.”
Brittany grinned. “I know, but I had to try. It’s like an honor thing.”
“Is that what we’re calling it?”
Nicole left the teenagers and went upstairs. She could hear the rumble of their voices, then a very long silence. The chicken and noodles had been good, but not that good.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” she asked Sheila, who had followed her into her bedroom and was now curled up on the bed. When Sheila didn’t answer, Nicole grabbed her phone.
“How closely am I supposed to watch them?” she asked Hawk when he answered.
“Where are you?”
“In my bedroom. They’re eating downstairs but it got really quiet.”
“For how long?”
“Fifteen minutes.”
“I’ll be right over.”
He arrived thirty minutes later, carrying bags of Mexican takeout. Brittany glared at her father.
“This is my private dinner.”
“Uh-huh. We’ll be in the kitchen.”
“I do not need a chaperone.”
Hawk only made kissy noises then retreated to the kitchen where Nicole had set the small table by the window. She opened two beers.
“Nervous about what they might get up to?” she asked.
“A little. I remember being Raoul’s age. I know about getting in trouble.” He passed her a plate. “You got a dog.”
“Sheila. She’s Raoul’s dog.”
“She’s spending a lot of time with you.”
It was true. Sheila seemed to follow her all over the house. “She knows I buy the groceries and she respects that.”
“I like dogs. I grew up with them. Serena never liked them, so we didn’t have one.”
“Sheila’s going to have puppies. Help yourself.”
“I like big dogs.”
“We don’t know the daddy. They could be huge.”
He eyed Sheila. “I hope not, for her sake.”
Nicole did her best to keep her attention on the dog, when what she really wanted to look at was Hawk.
He was casually dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, but that didn’t lessen his appeal. As always, he filled out his clothes and made them look good. He moved with the easy grace of an athlete, and watching him made her remember moving against him, having him move against her.
“How are things going with Raoul?” he asked. “Living with a teenager?”
“Good. He’s making it easy. He’s quiet, tidy, inhales my food. He works hard. He’s had a tough time and he’s making it. I respect that. I wish my sister had been more like him.”
“The piano player?”
“No, my baby sister. Jesse. She’s nothing like Raoul. I can’t figure out if she was born a screwup or if it just happened.”
“How old is she?”
“Twenty-two. She barely got through high school. She partied a lot, then discovered boys. I was constantly terrified she would show up pregnant. I tried lectures, bribes, tough love, forgiveness. Nothing worked. She’s going to inherit half the bakery when she turns twenty-five, which is going to be a nightmare for both of us. She’s not interested in the business, so I’m already saving to buy her out.”
She paused and grabbed a chip. “We should change the subject.”
“Why?”
“Jesse’s not very fun, in life or conversation.”
“Sounds like she’s troubled.”
In more ways than he knew.
“Where does she live now?” he asked.
“She’s got a place in the university district. She’s never held a job, except at the bakery and that doesn’t count. If she hadn’t been family, she would have been fired several times over. The thing is, I can’t figure out where I went wrong or what to do about fixing things.”
“Some problems can’t be fixed.”
She didn’t want to believe that, even though she knew it might be true.
She toyed with the idea of telling him about Drew and Jesse, then decided she couldn’t stand the humiliation. “She’s my sister. I practically raised her. I guess I’m afraid I did a bad job.”
He reached across the table and touched her hand. “I’ve seen you in action. Not possible.”
“You’ve seen me on my good days. I can be a real bitch.”
“You think I haven’t screwed up with Brittany?”
“You’re pretty smug about your relationship with her.”
He laughed. “Sometimes. She’s a good kid. You do your best and then you let ’em go.”
“Is that a coach thing?”
“Football is life.”
“Not in my world.”
“In everyone’s world.”
That made her smile.
“Want to come back home with me?” he asked, his gaze intense.
Suddenly she wasn’t hungry at all. “Sure. Is it okay to leave them alone?”
Hawk frowned, then glanced toward the great room. She could practically hear the debate going on inside his head. Which side would win? The responsible father or the guy interested in a little time with his sex kitten?
“Damn,” he muttered.
She picked up her fork. “Fatherhood wins.”
“This sucks.”
“Tell me about it.”
But she wasn’t all that upset. Yes, it was frustrating to be so close to Hawk and not in a position to have her way with him. But the good news was he’d shown a side of himself that she really liked and respected. After the disaster that was Drew, she could appreciate the thrill of a good man. Of course, this being her life, the good man was only pretending to be involved with her.