NICOLE GRABBED frosted cupcakes and set them into a large, pink box. The special order had come in early that morning from a desperate-sounding mother whose husband had dropped the ball when it came to ordering for their three-year-old’s birthday party.
Now she carefully arranged chocolate cupcakes with neon-pink frosting and sparkly sprinkles. In a few minutes the harried mother would show up for them and be relieved that at least one part of her day went right. Okay, so it wasn’t rocket science. But she could still make someone feel better, at least in the moment.
She carefully taped the box shut and took it up front, then peeled off her plastic gloves and tossed them in the trash. Maggie pushed one of the swinging doors leading to the back open.
“Someone to see you,” she said, not quite meeting Nicole’s gaze.
“Someone I want to see?” Nicole asked, her stomach already knotting. There weren’t that many people who would come in the back way.
“Probably not.”
Nicole braced herself for yet another fight with Jesse. Her sister was determined to get her half of the money out of the bakery. Nicole wasn’t interested in gutting the business just so Jesse could throw her future away. Legally she didn’t have to do anything until Jesse was twenty-five and she planned to keep resisting until the exact day her sister came of age.
Jesse stood just inside her office. Nicole stared at her for a second, feeling anger and sadness, along with regret and resignation. Despite what Jesse thought, Nicole had always loved her and wanted the best for her. They were only six years apart in age. They should have been closer.
Nicole knew she was probably to blame for a lot of what had gone wrong. She’d been too young to be left in charge of raising Jesse, but that’s what had happened.
Jesse turned and saw her. “It’s not what you think,” she began. “I’m not here about the bakery.”
“Okay. Do you need money?”
Jesse rolled her eyes. “No. I don’t need anything. That piece of information should keep you quiet for at least thirty seconds.”
Nicole opened her mouth, then closed it. She was so tired of fighting and being hurt.
“I’m leaving,” Jesse said before Nicole could ask why she was there. “I can’t change anything here. I can’t make it right. I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore, so I’m going away.”
“Running away,” Nicole snapped, furious that Jesse would be willing to leave. “Ignoring your responsibilities.”
“What responsibilities?” Jesse asked, her voice sharp. “You don’t want me in your house and you sure as hell never wanted me here.”
“That’s not true. I do want you here. We should be partners.”
“Your definition of partners means me doing everything exactly the way you say. I don’t want to spend my life putting sprinkles on doughnuts.”
“Then what do you want to do?”
Jesse turned away. “I don’t know.”
Perfect. Just perfect. “Let me guess. You’re running away to find yourself. Well, guess what? Your problems are going to tag along with you. They’ll slide into your suitcase and make themselves at home when you unpack. You can’t escape the consequences, Jesse. You might as well stay and figure it out here.”
“No. It’s time for me to leave. You always complain that I’ll never grow up. Maybe this will force me into doing that. I’ll make it on my own or I’ll fail on my own.”
Nicole wanted to scream. “You can’t go. You’re pregnant. How will you support yourself?”
“That’s not your problem.”
Talk about frustrating. Did Jesse really think she could find a decent job, get medical insurance, have a baby and raise it on her own? She’d never been responsible in her life. She was awful with money, a slacker when it came to work and totally unwilling to even admit she’d been wrong for sleeping with Drew. It was a total recipe for disaster.
“It’s going to be my problem when you come back, and we both know you will.”
Jesse looked at her for a long time. “You think you know everything about me. You think you know who I am, but you’re wrong. You don’t know anything. I’m done fighting with you, Nicole. I can’t disappoint you anymore. It hurts too much. You won’t believe that, but it’s true. I never wanted things to be like this. Please don’t try to find me.”
With that, she turned and walked out.
Nicole watched her go. Part of her wanted to run after Jesse and insist that she stay. Another part of her wondered if maybe being on her own for a few months would help Jesse grow up. She didn’t doubt that her sister would come back-no doubt scared, desperate and broke. Not to mention pregnant. And Nicole would take her in because that’s what family did. But between now and then, maybe Jesse could learn a few lessons.
So she let her go and told herself it was the right thing to do, even as she fought against feeling sick to her stomach.
AFTER THE FOOTBALL GAME, Nicole headed to the parking lot with the rest of the crowd. She felt better than she had earlier, but she couldn’t seem to shake the black cloud that had surrounded her all day.
She stood by her car, knowing Hawk would send over a few kids for her to drive to the pizza place. While she was standing there, wondering if stuffing herself with Hawaiian pizza would make her feel better or worse, a tall, curvy, beautiful woman walked over.
“Excuse me,” the woman said, her face perfect enough to be on a magazine. “Are you Nicole?”
“Yes.”
“Really? One of the other mothers pointed you out to me.”
The surprise in the woman’s voice put Nicole on edge. There was only one reason anyone would be talking about her.
“You’re dating Hawk?”
Nicole was so not in the mood for this. “Yes, I am.”
“Really?”
There was that tone again. The one that expressed more than surprise. It was as if a law of the universe had been violated.
“I just thought Hawk had a different type,” the woman murmured, more to herself than Nicole.
Nicole’s temper sprang to life. She glanced at the woman’s left hand and saw enough diamonds to fund the retirement of every resident in Idaho.
“You mean someone like yourself?” Nicole asked. “Sorry. He doesn’t do married women. Which I have to tell you is pretty fabulous for me. I’m single. And yes, we’re dating. For what it’s worth, because I know this is really what you want to know, the sex is amazing. Seriously. He’s practically a god. We do things that are illegal in six states. I don’t just see stars, I practically fall through a black hole and land on the planet of satisfaction. It’s another plane of pleasure.”
The woman swallowed hard, then pressed her lips together. “I didn’t need to know that.”
“I’m sure, but you were curious. Now you don’t have to be.”
Nicole turned away, thinking she would wait by the gate, when she ran into something tall and hard and muscled. She winced, then looked at Hawk.
“How much did you hear?”
He grinned. “I liked the god part. I’d make a great deity.”
Nicole groaned, then glanced over her shoulder to make sure the other woman had moved away. “She bugged me. She was so sure I couldn’t be going out with you because she’s damn near perfect. I had to do something.”
Hawk reached up and touched her face. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. I had a crappy day.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“No.”
He cupped her chin. “Want to talk about it?”
She sighed, liking him touching her. “Maybe. Just family stuff.”
“I’m a family kind of guy.”
“It’s my younger sister, Jesse. She came to the bakery today and said she was leaving town. She’s tired of always being a disappointment, so she’s running away. God forbid she should ever actually try to change her behavior. That’s not possible. She wants to leave and I didn’t know if I should stop her. There’s a part of me that says she needs to learn a lesson. Maybe being out on her own will do that.”
“How old is she?”
“Twenty-two.”
“She’s not a kid.”
“Actually, she kind of is. She’s never taken responsibility for anything. And now she’s pregnant.” Nicole drew in a breath and looked at Hawk. “She’s the reason Drew and I split up. Not that we shouldn’t have broken up before. He was a total jerk. I found him in bed with Jesse.”
Hawk’s eyes darkened and he swore. “I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. It was a hell of a shock. Drew tried to talk his way out of it, but I knew it was over. I felt worse about Jesse’s betrayal than his, which is saying something.”
“You’re supposed to be able to trust family.”
His words made her want to cry, but she was determined to be strong.
“I was so angry and hurt,” she admitted. “I’d been the one to insist Jesse live with us after we got married. I wasn’t going to kick out my baby sister. I guess I should have thought that through.”
“You did the right thing.”
“No good deed goes unpunished.” She’d thought she would hate telling him the truth, but it was surprisingly easy. Maybe because he seemed to be listening without judging her. “It’s even more complicated. She’s pregnant and it’s possible it’s Drew’s baby.”
“Does he know?”
“I haven’t a clue and I’m not going to be the one to tell him. That’s her problem.” She leaned against Hawk. He put his arms around her. “I worry about her being alone and pregnant. After all she’s done and how she acted, I still worry.”
“Because you’re a good sister.”
“Or a total idiot. It’s a toss-up.”
“No, it’s not. You going to let her go?”
“For now. I know she’ll be back. There’s no way she can make it on her own. Not with a baby coming. Maybe a few months in the real world will help her grow up.”
She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of him. “The thing is, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want her to go. I can’t help worrying. How crazy is that? Shouldn’t I be grateful she’s about to get slapped in the face by reality?”
“You love her.”
“I know, but sometimes I hate her.”
“Understandable. But you love her more. She’s your sister.”
Nicole nodded. Funny how she’d always wanted a family of her own when she couldn’t seem to handle the one she already had.
He kissed the top of her head. “What can I do to help?”
“Sex would be good.”
He chuckled. “I agree, but parking lots have never been my style. How about pizza?”
“Not even a close second, but I’ll take it.”
“Anything else?”
“You could agree to have dinner with my other sister and her fiancé.”
“Done.”
She stepped back and looked at him. “Really?”
He kissed her, his mouth lingering on hers. “Really.”
“I MET WYATT YEARS AGO,” Nicole said as they walked up the front path to the house. “He came into the bakery to place an order and we started talking.”
Hawk didn’t like the sound of that. “You dated.”
She laughed. “We tried. In theory, we’re perfect for each other. So we went out a couple of times, but it was a disaster. We’re destined to be friends. Then Claire moved here a few months ago and he fell hard for her. Which is good. He needs someone in his life.”
She reached for the doorbell. “He has a daughter from a previous marriage. Amy. She’s at a girlfriend’s tonight. You’ll meet her next time. She’s a sweetie and I adore her.”
The door opened before he could ask any other questions. A woman who looked a lot like Nicole smiled.
“You made it. We’re barbecuing, which may not be a good idea. Men and fire. They tend to bring out the worst in each other. I’m Claire,” she said, holding out her hand. “You must be Hawk.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Same here.”
She looked at her sister and raised her eyebrows. Hawk wasn’t sure what that meant.
He followed Nicole into the house. As they walked through to the back patio, Nicole pointed out all the custom touches Wyatt-a contractor-had put into the house.
“Isn’t the woodwork amazing?” she said, running her hands along a door frame. “He has the best crew. He did the remodel in my house. It’s an old place so there were lots of really small rooms. He opened it up and redid the kitchen.”
Until that minute, Hawk had liked Nicole’s house. He’d thought it was homey and welcoming. Suddenly he never wanted to go there again.
They moved out onto the patio. It was big, with a slate floor and a wood cover. The built-in barbecue was large and stainless. Hawk had one that was bigger, not that he got to use it much. Summer was his busy time with work.
“Hawk, this is Wyatt,” Nicole said.
Hawk and the other man looked at each other. Wyatt was about Hawk’s height, but maybe twenty pounds of muscle lighter. Hawk knew he could take him.
They shook hands and Wyatt offered him a beer. The women returned to the house.
“Steaks all right?” Wyatt asked, pointing to the paper-wrapped package beside the barbecue.
“Sure. Can’t go wrong with a steak.”
“Good. Claire was telling me you’re a high school football coach.”
“Been doing it about five years now.”
“You like it?”
“More than I thought. Football is about more than winning. I like watching the kids grow up and head out into the real world.”
Wyatt’s gaze was steady, as if he were assessing Hawk. Hawk didn’t blink. He wasn’t afraid of what the other man might find. He had nothing to hide.
“I used to watch you play pro ball,” Wyatt said at last. “You went out at the top of your game.”
“My wife was diagnosed with cancer. She didn’t have much time left and our daughter was only twelve. Flying around the country playing football seemed like a waste of those last weeks. After she died, I needed to be around for my daughter. She’s a senior now.”
“Any regrets?”
“No.”
The women returned. Hawk watched Nicole walk toward him and felt a stirring inside. He liked watching her move. She wasn’t aware of how beautiful she was or how sexy and she wouldn’t believe him if he tried to tell her.
“We have salad and garlic bread and Claire made a pie for dessert,” Nicole said. “She’s constantly trying to find her inner baker.”
“I have found it. Or her,” Claire said. “Pie is my new thing. You’re going to be impressed.”
Nicole grinned. “Claire plays the piano.”
“I heard,” he said, liking the teasing between the sisters.
“I’ll have you know I’m a very famous and very spoiled soloist who is in high demand. You’re lucky I’m going to let you eat at the same table.”
“When she first came to Seattle, she didn’t even know how to do laundry.”
Claire batted her eyes. “I must protect my hands. Housework is beneath me.”
“Stop picking on her,” Wyatt said. “She’s not the only one with an embarrassing past.”
Hawk looked at Nicole. “You have secrets?”
“No. I’ve told you everything.”
Claire tilted her head. “Are you sure? When I was four and practicing the piano several hours a day, Nicole used to sit outside the studio and bang pots together. It was her way of accompanying me and keeping me from being lonely, all at the same time.”
Nicole squirmed. “Okay, maybe I hadn’t mentioned that.”
Claire laughed. “I’ll stop torturing you now. Come on, Hawk. Amy, Wyatt’s daughter, isn’t here, but we have pictures. You need to see them and listen while I brag about her.”
She led him into the house. Hawk had a feeling that they weren’t going to talk all that much about Amy.
Sure enough, when they reached the living room, she pointed to several photographs on what looked like a new baby grand piano, then said, “How did you and Nicole meet?”
“At the bakery.” Which was how she’d met Wyatt, he thought, his good mood fading.
“You seem like a nice guy, which is great. But Nicole is special. I don’t want anyone hurting her.”
Which meant Claire didn’t know about their deal. Was her concern one of the reasons Nicole had made her offer to him?
“I’m not going to hurt her.”
Claire nodded. “I don’t think you’d mean to, but she’s just getting out of a difficult marriage.”
“I know about Drew.”
“She told you?”
“About Drew and what happened.”
“Oh. Okay. Then you know why I’m worried. Wyatt feels awful about that. He never should have introduced them. But Drew’s family so it was inevitable.”
“Wyatt and Drew are brothers?” Nicole had left out that part of the story.
“Stepbrothers. Drew’s a bit of a disaster.”
Hawk tuned out the conversation. He had the sudden need to punch something, or someone. Wyatt came to mind. Not that the guy had done anything specific. He just bugged Hawk. Drew could use a good beating, too. Hawk would enjoy that.
Something wasn’t right. Something-
He swore silently. That nagging, uncomfortable sensation in his gut had a name. Jealousy. He was jealous of Wyatt and maybe even Drew. What the hell was up with that? He shouldn’t care enough to be jealous. And of what? Nicole was with him. Sort of.
They weren’t actually dating. They had an arrangement. One that should be working for him. Still, he didn’t like how well Wyatt knew her or that Drew had married her. Worse, he didn’t know how to make it better.
NICOLE WALKED into the house shortly after midnight. The evening with her sister, Wyatt and Hawk had gone better than she’d hoped. Hawk had been a little quiet, but he’d still seemed to have a good time. It had been great to hang out and laugh and not worry about seeing pity in anyone’s eyes.
Sheila looked up from her place on the sofa and stretched, then wagged her tail in greeting. Nicole frowned. The dog always slept with Raoul. So if she was down here, where was he?
Nicole went upstairs. The door to his bedroom stood open and the room was empty. She looked at her watch. He was late. Now what?
She’d spent plenty of nights waiting up for her sister, so she knew what to do to fill the time. What wasn’t clear was how to deal with the situation. Technically Raoul was an adult. While she’d asked him to be in by eleven or let her know if he was going to be later, she wasn’t sure he had to listen. She could play the “you’re living under my roof” card, but that felt weird.
She went back downstairs and let Sheila out, then checked for messages. There weren’t any. Great.
She considered going to bed, but knew she wouldn’t sleep, so she picked a movie and loaded it in the DVD player. Sheila came back in and they curled up together on the sofa. About thirty minutes later, she heard Raoul’s car pull up.
“You’re late,” she announced the second he walked in the door. “You’re supposed to call. I don’t like worrying. And don’t tell me not to. You live here now. Worry comes with the room.”
Which wasn’t at all what she’d expected to say. She was supposed to let him talk first.
But instead of getting angry or defensive, like Jesse would have done, he smiled.
“You waited up.”
“Obviously. What did you think? That I would just go to sleep, never once imagining your broken, bleeding body on the side of the road?”
“You were worried?”
“Yes, and you don’t have to sound so happy about it.” He couldn’t seem to stop smiling, which she found really annoying.
“I’m sorry. I called.”
“There’s no message.”
“I left one. On your cell.”
On her…“Oh,” she said, feeling a little foolish. “I only checked the house machine.” She grabbed her purse and pulled out her cell. “It’s off. I didn’t think to check it.” She turned it on and waited. Sure enough the message envelope flashed on the screen and the phone beeped.
“I was at a party. A couple of guys got really drunk. I didn’t want them to drive, so I took them home. I’m sorry I worried you.”
“No, it’s my fault. I should have checked my cell. I didn’t mean to yell.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not.” She was feeling more stupid by the second. “I have a temper and I overreact.” Which was probably a lot of what had gone wrong with Jesse.
“I like that you worry about me, Nicole. No one ever does.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? It’s true.”
It was also beyond sad. “I’d rather you didn’t do anything to make me worry. Can it be enough that I’m prepared to worry at any time?”
“Yeah,” he said with a grin. “That’s good, too. Night.”
“Night.”
He started up the stairs. Sheila went after him, then followed him into his bedroom. Nicole turned off the movie and turned off the lights.
While she’d hated being concerned about Raoul, she did like having someone in her life to care about. Which made her think of Jesse, but she didn’t want to go there tonight.
Families were a mess, she told herself. So why was she so determined to have one of her own?