NICOLE DID HER BEST not to spend the morning sulking, but it was hard. She was tired of being stuck in the house, tired of being the one left behind. Last night Claire had gone off to conquer her fears so she could return to her exciting life in New York. She’d also had fabulously hot sex with Wyatt. It wasn’t that Nicole cared about Claire sleeping with Wyatt specifically, it’s just that she was soon-to-be divorced, unlikely to trust a man with her heart anytime soon and therefore not going to ever have sex again. She wasn’t the type to simply take a man to bed, not that they were lining up, asking. All she had to show for the last three months of her life was a cheating ex-husband, a stealing, backstabbing baby sister and two ugly scars.
She slumped down on the sofa and tried to tell herself the news wasn’t all bad. She and Claire had reconciled.
“Now that I like her, I know she’s going back to New York,” Nicole muttered, feeling crabbier by the second. “Then I’ll be all alone again.”
She hated feeling like this and was willing to risk watching daytime television to change her mood. But before she could reach for the clicker, she heard a knock at the door.
Nicole pushed herself up onto her crutches and walked to the door. She opened it, expecting to see the mail carrier, or a package delivery. Instead Jesse stood on the front porch.
Nicole’s first emotion was relief, followed by a rush of love. She hadn’t seen Jesse in weeks and despite everything that had happened between them, she’d been worried. Which just went to show Claire wasn’t the only one flirting with crazy.
Nicole was careful not to show any emotion as she said, “What are you doing here?”
“I heard about your surgery.” Her baby sister shifted on the porch. “I wanted to see how you’re doing.”
The initial rush of affection quickly faded. All of Jesse’s betrayals lined up in her head, making her want to lash out. She didn’t care that her sister looked tired and contrite and even a little sad. She wanted revenge.
She also wanted to talk to Jesse. Damn.
“I’m fine,” Nicole said at last. “Healing.”
“Can I come in?
Instead of answering verbally, Nicole stepped back. She led the way into the house, two parts hoping things could go back to how they’d been before and two parts knowing some wounds took more than a few weeks to heal.
Nicole sank onto the sofa. Jesse stayed standing. She looked around. “The place looks the same.”
Nicole shrugged. She didn’t want to talk about decorating.
“I thought maybe we could talk,” Jesse mumbled.
“About?”
Jesse sucked in a breath. She raised her head. “I’m sorry,” she snapped. “I’m really sorry and you’re not making this easy.”
Nicole pushed down the hope that sparked inside of her. “Making it easy isn’t my job.”
Jesse rolled her eyes. “When are you going to stop taking every opportunity to teach me some stupid moral lesson?”
“When you stop needing them. Come on, Jess, convince me.” It wouldn’t take much, but Nicole wasn’t about to admit that.
“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry you got upset.”
The hope died and anger grew out of death. “How about ‘I’m sorry I stole from you?’ or is that too much like accepting responsibility?”
“It’s a family recipe. No matter how much you might not like it, I’m still a part of this family. The bakery is half mine. I had the right to take it.”
Nicole wasn’t going to admit that. “The recipe belongs to the business. Instead of talking to me or trying to make some equitable arrangement or even ask, you just took what you wanted, then set up a Web site almost exactly like the bakery’s.”
“When was I supposed to talk to you? You threw me out of the house.”
If Nicole had been even a week further along in her healing, she would have stood up to face her sister without crutches, but there was no way her knee would support her.
“You’re right. I wasn’t talking to you. Why is that? Oh, yes, I remember. You slept with my husband. In my own house. Oh, wait. Was he like the recipe? Were we sharing him, too?”
Jesse blushed, then ducked her head. “That’s not what happened.”
“Sure it is. Worse, I lied for you. When Matt called I didn’t tell him why you’d moved out. But know this. If he calls again, all bets are off.”
Jesse started crying. “I deserved it. I know that now.”
What? Punishment? Drew? Nicole felt the anger fading as exhaustion claimed her.
Without meaning to, she remembered something she hadn’t allowed herself to do. She remembered walking up the stairs late in the evening. She hadn’t even noticed Jesse’s door was partially closed until she’d heard a weird noise. Then she’d crossed the landing and pushed it open.
They’d been in Jesse’s full-size bed. They’d both stared at her, wide-eyed. Everything about that moment was burned into her brain. The way Drew had been on top of Jesse, his hand on her bare breast. How sharp and intense the sense of pain and betrayal had felt. They were supposed to be the two people in the world who loved her more than anyone. She’d been wrong to trust either of them.
“I never wanted to hurt you,” Jesse said, brushing the tears from her face.
“Really? Well, then, that makes everything all right.”
“I hate it when you get like this,” Jesse said. “You’re so cold.”
“You’re still sorry you got caught but not sorry you did it. That’s what gets me, Jess. Not Drew, but you. I raised you. I’ve been there for you every day of your life. I sacrificed for you and you were never grateful. You only wanted to know what else I could do for you. You never cared about any of it.”
“I cared,” Jesse yelled. “I cared a lot and I would have been grateful, but for what? My mother leaving because it was more fun to be with Claire? Should I be grateful that my father didn’t care about me? Or how about for all you did? I can give you the list. You know why? Because every damn day you talked about all you were giving up for me. All you had to do or take care of. Your life was one big pain in the ass because of me. I get it!” she screamed. “I ruined your life, okay!”
Nicole didn’t know what to say. Jesse had to be kidding. “You twist everything around to suit yourself.”
“Who do you think I learned that from?” Jesse yelled. “You know what? I’m glad I slept with Drew. Glad. If he wasn’t such a loser jerk asshole, I’d do it again. But he’s not worth the trouble. I should have figured that out. He married you. And now you don’t even have him.” Jesse’s eyes filled with tears. “I’ll hate you forever.”
Nicole’s anger returned, burning bright and hot like the sun. “Back at you,” she snapped. “Get the hell out of my house.”
“Gladly.”
Jesse stalked away. The front door slammed and then there was silence.
CLAIRE ARRIVED HOME to find Nicole fuming.
“Jesse was here,” she announced. “Our conversation didn’t go well.”
“What happened?”
Nicole filled her in on the details, then said, “Don’t you dare take her side.”
“I won’t. I know this has been hard for you.” For both of them, but Claire knew better than to say that. It was easy for her to be rational and see both points of view, but much harder for Nicole. And while she cared about Jesse, she had to agree that her baby sister had messed up big-time more than once in the past few weeks.
“It sucks that it’s too early to get drunk.”
“You’re on pain medication,” Claire said.
“I’d pass on it for a vodka tonic. At least I would if it was four, or even three. What time is it?”
“About nine-thirty in the morning.”
Nicole groaned. “I have hours to wait.” She hobbled over to the sofa and collapsed. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Claire settled across from her. “Me, too. Whatever happens, I want us to stay close. We should have before.”
Nicole’s face scrunched up.
Claire smiled. “What are you holding back?”
“I want to jump into my ‘you left me’ routine, but I won’t. You were six. No one gave you a choice. I missed you more than I could say.”
“I missed you, too. We’d never been apart. I felt like someone cut off my arm. I was so lonely. That never went away.”
“Me, too, though I was busy. Jesse was born a few months after they took you away. She changed everything.”
For Nicole, Claire thought. Not for her. She learned about her new sister from her grandmother and saw a few pictures.
“I wanted to call more,” Claire admitted. “But we didn’t have the money back then. I’m sure it was expensive, plus with the time difference.” Later, when she’d been able to make her own decisions about calling, Nicole hadn’t wanted to talk to her.
Her sister sighed. “Okay, I was very annoyed with you and unforgiving.”
Wow-an apology from Nicole? “I believe the word you’re looking for is bitch.”
“Maybe.”
“There’s no maybe, honey. You were the queen bitch.”
“I’ll accept being in the royal court, but I won’t accept being the actual queen.”
“Works for me.”
They smiled at each other. Claire risked the moment by asking, “What are you going to do about Jesse?”
“I haven’t got a clue. I want her to be different and that isn’t going to happen. I want her to accept responsibility. Another chance for me to be disappointed. I wish she’d grow up, which makes me zero for three.” She pulled a throw pillow to her stomach and wrapped her arms around it.
“I don’t know what to do about the charges. One side of me says to drop them. She’s family, blah, blah, blah. Another part of me wants her to understand that there have to be consequences for what she’s done. Your thoughts?”
“I don’t know,” Claire admitted. “I agree with you. She is family and she has totally messed up. I’m the wrong person to ask.”
“You’re as right as I am. Which is part of the problem. I’m in such a weird position,” Nicole admitted. “I’m as much her mother as her sister. I never know what role to play or what I should be doing. I can’t help thinking I really messed up somewhere for her to have done what she did.”
“No,” Claire told her. “You’re not at fault. Nicole, you’re only six years older than her. You are her sister and not her mother. You did the best you could.”
“I don’t think it was good enough. That’s my guilty secret. Want to share yours?”
Claire hesitated. Nicole’s eyes widened.
“You have one?”
“Maybe. I’m in love with Wyatt.”
Nicole looked stunned. “The sex was that good?”
That made Claire laugh. “It’s not about sex.”
“It’s always about sex. Especially for you. Wyatt is your first. It makes sense you’d feel something for him. Are you sure it’s love?”
“I’m not sure of anything anymore. I know I’ve never had these feelings before. I know I want to spend every minute with him and not just while he’s in a good mood. I want to learn about him, plan a future. I want to get so tangled up with him that neither of us knows where we start individually or where we end as a couple.” She paused. “Does that make me a stalker?”
“Not unless you start spray-painting that on his garage wall. Wow. You really have fallen for him. Does he know?”
“No. I realized this morning when he was talking to me about the other men in my life.”
“What other men?”
“The ones that are supposed to follow him. He says he’s just my vacation fling or something. That we have nothing in common.”
“Wyatt does always resist getting involved.”
Not words Claire wanted to hear, but ones she needed to accept. “You told me and he told me. No relationships. He’s convinced he’s bad at them. What does he say? That he comes from a long line of men who pick the wrong woman?”
“Something like that,” Nicole admitted. “But it’s just what he says. It doesn’t have to be what he believes.”
“You’re his friend,” Claire said. “What do you think?”
Nicole hesitated for a second. “That he’s so used to hiding that he has no idea what he wants.”
“The politically correct answer. You’re sweet to try to make me feel better.”
“Wyatt could change. People change.”
They could, but they didn’t all that often. “Do you really believe, in your gut, that Wyatt could fall in love with me?”
“Yes,” Nicole said firmly.
Claire didn’t believe her for a second, but the fact that her sister would be so supportive was enough. At least for right now.
“MRS. OLIVE SAYS the counselor will talk to Daddy and me,” Amy said, so excited that she was difficult to understand. “I’m going to need…” She paused to finger spell at the speed of light.
“Slower, please,” Claire signed. “You’re going to need what?”
“T-h-e-r-a-p-y.”
“Oh, like what Nicole is getting for her leg but for you it will be your ear and your brain.”
“Uh-huh.” Amy grinned. “Daddy says we’ll do my bad ear. It’s a comp…Compy something.”
“Compromise.”
She nodded again. “After the counselor, we’ll meet with the doctor.”
Amy climbed out of the car and ran up to the front door of Nicole’s house, where she would wait until Wyatt came by to pick her up.
Amy hurried over to the sofa to greet Nicole, then signed about her impending surgery.
“Are you happy with just one ear?” Nicole asked. “One and not two?”
“Uh-huh. I need to wait until there’s better ways for me to hear with the other ear. I’ll still be able to hear good with the one implant.”
She spoke with a combination of signing and speaking.
“You’re very mature,” Claire told her.
Amy dimpled.
“Go in the kitchen,” Nicole told her. “There’s a surprise.”
Amy raced in that direction. When she’d left, Nicole said, “I agree. She’s very together. I wouldn’t have been at her age.”
“Me, either.”
Nicole rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Of the two of us, you have the best shot at the title of mature child. You were practically living on your own as you studied and toured the world.”
“I couldn’t have handled what she’s doing. Amy has backbone. I would have listened to the adults around me and done what they told me to.”
“If only that were still true,” Nicole said with a sniff.
Claire laughed.
Amy burst back into the room. “You made cookies! Can I have one?”
“Of course,” Claire said. “My first attempt at baking. Be kind.”
“They’ll be fine,” Nicole told her. “Baking is in your blood.”
“I hope so.”
“As long as you didn’t use too much salt.”
Claire remembered the unfortunate incident the first day she’d gone to the bakery. “We’re not going to mention that.”
“Aren’t we?”
“No.”
Claire led Amy back into the kitchen and served her a couple of cookies, along with a glass of milk. She sat across from her at the table and listened to the details of her day.
As the girl spoke and signed and laughed, Claire realized something. She didn’t just love Wyatt. She loved his daughter, too. Leaving them both behind, not to mention Nicole and even Jesse, was going do more than hurt. It was going to break her heart.
CLAIRE HOVERED impatiently, dancing from foot to foot, counting to herself. She’d used three different tests at the same time and then lined them up on the bathroom counter on a paper towel. Now came the hard part-waiting.
The sticks offered her nothing at first, then one by one they changed and gave her the same message. She shrieked and ran into Nicole’s bedroom.
Her sister was still in bed. It was barely after six, so Nicole being asleep wasn’t a huge surprise. But Claire didn’t care. It was only in deference to her sister’s still-healing knee that she didn’t jump on the mattress. But she did yell.
“Get up! Get up. You have to be awake so I can tell you myself.”
She pulled back the drapes and opened the blinds. Sunlight spilled into the room.
Nicole sat up and blinked at her. “What’s your problem? It’s early.” She glanced at the clock. “Dear God, I’m going to have to kill you.”
Claire didn’t care. She spun in a circle, her happiness giving her speed and momentum. She couldn’t possibly be expected to contain all the happiness bubbling up inside of her.
“I’m pregnant,” she announced. “I peed on three different sticks in three different tests and I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby. Isn’t that the best?”
Nicole’s mouth dropped open. “Since when?”
“This morning. Oh. I guess technically since that first night Wyatt and I, you know. I’m so happy. I’ve always wanted children. I never thought I could get pregnant so easily. I thought I’d have to work for it more. This is going to change everything. I get to be a mom and start a family.” She stopped spinning and planted her feet until the room stopped moving, too.
Nicole laughed. “Too bad no one can harness that energy.”
“I know. You’ll be an aunt. I hope I have a girl. Is it okay to hope that? Except a boy would be great. I definitely want a boy.”
“I know you haven’t been drinking, but you are totally out of it.”
“I’m happy! I’ve always wanted kids but that seemed impossible, like I would never be that normal.” Claire laughed. “I should have gotten pregnant years ago.”
“Apparently.”
Claire settled on the edge of the bed and grinned. “You’re worried. I can see it in your eyes.”
“Just about Wyatt.”
The man who was probably not going to be so happy about this, Claire thought, bubbling too much to have anything break her mood.
“He’ll come around or he won’t. Either way, I’ll deal.”
“Good for you,” Nicole told her. “He may surprise us both. And if he doesn’t, I’ll break his kneecaps. I happen to know that can be really painful.”
Claire leaned forward and hugged her. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Even if I am a little bitter.”
Claire pulled back. “Why?”
“Because I always wanted a family, too. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful Drew and I never got around to the kid thing. But a baby would be nice.”
She sounded wistful as she spoke.
“So go get pregnant,” Claire told her. “It’s easy.”
Nicole laughed. “So I’ve heard. I appreciate the advice, but I think I’ll wait a bit. Things are a little complicated right now. But I’m happy for you.”
“Me, too!” Claire sighed. “I’m also terrified, but in a good way. I’m filled with possibilities and anticipation.”
“What are you going to do about your career?”
“I don’t know.” While thoughts of Wyatt being unhappy didn’t affect her mood, a sharp longing to play again seemed to shave off a couple of layers of happiness.
“I miss it,” Claire admitted. “More and more. Can I do both?”
“Why not? Aren’t you rich? Can’t you hire help if you need it.”
“Sure.”
“Honey, then I say go for it.”
Claire laughed again. “I will.”